Nick Hogan is Free

Nick Hogan was released from a Florida county jail this morning after serving 6 months of an 8 month sentence for felony reckless driving that left his passenger, Iraq war veteran, John J. Graziano, a permanent vegetable. Try not to punch the first thing you see. TMZ reports:

Nick Hogan was released from Pinellas County Jail just after midnight Tuesday morning. We’re told he arrived back at his mom Linda’s house to a thumping party, replete with loud music and cops surveying the scene. Nick pleaded no contest to a felony charge of reckless driving involving serious bodily injury back in May. He was sentenced to eight months but only served the aforementioned 166 days due to “good time” credit. His best friend, John Graziano, remains hospitalized and will require medical care the rest of his life.”

In case you missed that, Nick Hogan was welcomed back to Clearwater with a big, loud party thrown by his worthless, enabling mother. If John J. Graziano was able to form a thought, I bet he’d be totally cool with that. Especially since one of things his doctors can figure out to do with his head is “collect sea shells.” That’s so much fun!

Note: Be sure to check out this video of the tearful reunion between Nick and Brock. You know, the two people in this story who can walk.

Photos: Splash

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Nick Hogan is Getting Out of Jail Early

Initially sentenced to eight months in prison after plowing through the streets of downtown Clearwater, FL drunk driving a yellow Supra and racing a Dodge Viper, and left his passenger, Iraq war veteran, John J. Graziano, a permanent vegetable with a salad bowl for a head (read all our coverage here), Nick Hogan is being set free three months early. TMZ reports:

Nick’s being released from Pinellas County Jail on Oct. 21, three months short of the eight-month sentence he got for felony reckless driving. His early release is for good behavior. The victim of the crash, John Graziano, remains in a vegetative state.”

If there’s one thing you can count on, it’s the fact that our criminal justice system is irrevocably broken. That, and these mutant hybrid puma scorpions that I’ve trained to use spicy mustard with the intestines of overpriveledged, pampered wiggers who get out of jail early. Their judgment swift. Their punishments exacting. Their hunger insatiable.

Update: Here’s what John Graziano’s “life” is like now. It’s disturbing and could be NSFW depending on where you work, so you’ve been warned. It’s newsworthy, so please don’t whine about us posting it like some of you did with the Shanna Moakler post.

Brock Hogan still trying to look like her body contains estrogen:

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Nick Hogan is Suffering

A judge denied Nick Hogan’s request to serve the remainder of his sentence in his family’s mansion, because as it turns out, spending less than month in jail after you pleaded no contest to reckless driving involving serious bodily injury which left your friend a permanent vegetable, doesn’t really balance the scales of justice. Due to numerous media requests, the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office released pictures of a cell that is “identical to his cell in size, configuration and furnishings” as Nick Hogan’s. So basically, here are pictures of wittle baby’s cell. While John Graziano is unresponsive to light in his eyes or the voices of his parents, here’s a list of Nick Hogan’s daily activities:

Morning Breakfast:
Approx. 3:30 a.m. in the cell

Working away from the cell in Inmate Property Section:
Approximately 8:00 – 2:00 p.m. No work on Saturday and Sunday

Approx. 10:30 a.m. – in the Inmate Property Section

3:00 p.m – 4:00 p.m., Tuesday, Friday and Sunday at Video Visitation booth on the floor, down the hall from his cell.

Approx. 4:00 p.m. in the cell

Daily activities where Bollea is out of his cell also include; Attorney visits, recreation (1 hour), several daily telephone calls

Other services available to Bollea: Inmate library books are delivered, Chaplain services, inmate mail, law library materials are available by request, commissary items.”

I’m not one to advocate physical violence, but if after Nick Hogan got raped by a battering ram and a pterodactyl swooped him up to feed his crybaby ass to her young, I think I could find it in my heart to get over it.

Update: Since he cried like a pussy, Nick Hogan was transferred last night to a cell with three other guys. This is so going to work out because I bet those three other dudes also live in Florida mansions whose privileged life of excess with their enabling parents who handed them everything they ever wanted airs on MTV. They’ll all become instant friends because they’ll be able to relate. The three other guys will be able to bond and share just how their missteps landed them in such a tight spot like Nick Hogan’s asshole.

Source: Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office

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The Hogans are Still Assholes

Last week, 26 hours of audio from Nick Hogan’s jail phone calls were released that show just how heartbroken and remorseful Nick and the Hogan family are over the fact that John Graziano is a vegetable because traffic laws don’t apply to them. And by “heartbroken and remorseful” I mean “how much money can Nick Hogan make off this?” Bay News 9 really wants you to punch a wall.

Hulk: “Well, I don’t know what type of person John was. Or what he did to get himself in this situation. I know he was pretty aggressive and yelled at people and do stuff. And for some reason God laid some heavy shit on that kid. I don’t know what he was into.”

Nick: “He was a negative person.

Hulk: “He was what?”

Nick: “He was a negative person. Will you work on that Real-Ality deal?”

Hulk: “Yep”

Nick: “Get that lined up so the minute I walk out…wherever I walk out of it’s there…boom.”

Hulk: “Can you do it while you’re on probation?”

Nick: “Of course.”

Hulk: “Do you want to do it with Pink Sneakers or someone else?”

Nick: “I want to do it where I’ll make the most money.”

In another transcript, Linda Hogan says that John Graziano is a vegetable because of karma. And after her minor collision this weekend, Brooke Hogan repeatedly threw in jabs that she was alive because of her seatbealt. So if you thought the entire Hogan family were insufferable douchebags, congratulations! You were right. I’m pretty sure the devil is going to make sure they get a police escort to hell.

Hulk and Brock visiting Nick in jail:

Thanks, Stefanie!

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Nick Hogan is Feeling Sorry For Himself

On August 26, 2007, Nick Bollea (Nick Hogan) was racing his yellow Toyota Supra in the middle of downtown Clearwater, FL when he lost control and struck a median, flipped, then hit a palm tree. Nick Hogan (Bollea) escaped with minor injuries, but his passenger, 23 year old Marine and Iraqi war veteran, John J. Graziano, suffered massive head injuries and will remain in a nursing care facility for the rest of his life. Last week, Nick Hogan was sentenced to 8 months in prison. He’s already falling apart. Page Six reports:

Nick Hogan is not doing well in jail, friends say. The son of pro wrestler Hulk Hogan started serving eight months in California’s[sic] Pinellas County Jail on May 9 for a drunken-driving accident that left his best friend, John Graziano, in a coma. “Nick’s doing really bad. He’s struggling to even form a sentence,” one friend said. “They have him in a cell by himself, isolated from the general population, because of threats. He didn’t understand how awful jail really is until now.” That will be small consolation to Graziano’s relatives, who say Hogan has done very little for their son since the crash.”

What a coincidence, because you know who else has trouble making sentences? John Graziano. That usually happens when you’ve had to get part of your brain removed. But I guess he should have thought about that before he tried to hang with somebody as cool as Nick. I hate it when people in comas always try to ruin your fun. Jeez, why don’t you just get a life, people in comas!

To see a picture of what John Graziano looks like now, click here. (Note: The picture is a more disturbing than Hulk Hogan’s face, so you’ve been warned.)

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The Hogans are Assholes

On August 26, 2007, Nick Bollea (Nick Hogan) was racing his yellow Toyota Supra in the middle of downtown Clearwater, FL when he lost control and struck a median. The car then flipped, hitting a palm tree with its backend. Nick Hogan (Bollea) escaped with minor injuries, but his passenger, 23 year old Marine and Iraqi war veteran, John J. Graziano, suffered massive head injuries and has remained in a coma ever since. Although tensions remain high between the two families, the Hogans had an open invitation to visit Graziano whenever they wanted. Not anymore. St. Petersburg Times reports:

Linda, Brooke and Nick Bollea are no longer welcome at the hospital bedside of John Graziano. That’s because the trio went to the hospital on Valentine’s Day with gifts, and images of their arrival showed up on celebrity news Web sites, the Graziano family’s attorneys said Wednesday. “We believe that it was a total (public relations) stunt,” said attorney Kimberley Kohn.”

And yes, the Hogans are getting their asses sued:

Whether a lawsuit will be filed in the wreck is a question of when, not if, the family’s attorneys said. The family faces “astronomical” costs to care for Graziano in the future, attorneys said. “We’ve tried very hard to avoid a circus atmosphere, which is very hard in this case,” attorney George Tragos said.”

I think I can speak for everyone when I say that if a swarm of alien mutant locusts attacked the Hogan’s house and abducted them so their organs could be harvested for fuel, that nobody would really have a problem with that.

You can find more on our coverage of this story here, here, here, and here.

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Nick Hogan is a Criminal

TMZ is reporting that Nick Hogan turned himself into Clearwater, FL police this morning, answering a warrant for his arrest on the count of reckless driving involving serious bodily injury. On August 26th, Nick Hogan was racing a silver Dodge Viper through downtown Clearwater when he lost control of his Toyota Supra and struck a raised median and a palm tree. Hogan’s passenger, Iraqi war veteran John J. Graziano, suffered severe brain injuries and will require specialized treatment for the rest of his life. Police revealed today that Hogan was drinking alcohol that night and was traveling 20 miles over the speed limit at the time of the crash. In a prepared statement, Nick’s representative Adam Handelsman said:

Nick and the entire Hogan Bollea family are saddened that criminal charges have been filed in regards to the tragic single car accident on August 26, 2007. Nick will meet and answer these charges in the appropriate arena, a court of law. The family’s primary focus and concern still remains for the continued recovery of Nick’s longtime friend John Graziano. The Bolleas will also continue to stand by the Graziano family and help them in any way they can. The tragedy to both families is compounded by the fact that unfortunately John was not wearing his seatbelt. Thankfully, Nick was wearing his. Because of what happened to John, the entire Bollea family will make it a priority to increase public awareness about the importance of always wearing your seatbelt. There has been much speculation as to the speed and wet road conditions surrounding this accident. Although all the evidence has not been evaluated, preliminary reports from the experts indicate that this was not, in fact, a high-speed accident. Because Nick is still a juvenile and has no prior criminal record, we are disappointed that he is being charged as an adult offender. However, we are confident that the evidence will demonstrate that this was an accident. We ask all who follow these events to keep an open mind as to the facts until they have been ultimately determined. Finally, we thank all who have prayed for John’s recovery and ask for your continued support and prayers.”

No thanks, we’ll pass. Because in case you didn’t know, your client has been cited for speeding four times since getting his license two years ago. He’s the Grim Reaper with illegal tint. This wasn’t an accident, this was an eventuality. So if by “open mind” you mean that I hope his asshole gets used as a broom closet in prison, then hey, we’re in total agreement.

Nick Hogan’s brother sister:

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Nick Hogan is Doing Well

In an interview set to air today, Hulk Hogan tells The Insider that his son, Nick Bollea/Hogan, is doing fine and is moving forward after he plowed through the streets of downtown Clearwater, FL, slamming his car into a tree and leaving his passenger, John J. Graziano, in a coma with brain damage. US reports:

It’s just so unfair. There’s not a bad bone in my son Nick’s body, the most important thing to me was from all the eyewitnesses and from everyone who saw the accident, was that they were not racing. Nick’s car was the only car involved. The media jumped on my son. I tell my son to stay strong because at the end of the day when all the facts are in, it was an accident. There wasn’t alcohol or drugs involved. The police said everybody looked straight as an arrow, thank god for that. Nick is doing well, he’s got a broken arm and a broken rib and some stuff wrong with his knees but he’s hanging in there. He’s going to be ok and we’re going to move forward.”

Oh well, thank God. I’m so glad Hulk Hogan let me know that Nick is ok because I’ve been sitting on pins and needles worrying about him. That Iraqi war veteran is laying there in his coma taking all Nick’s attention. He’s probably just jealous of Nick’s rad Toyota Supra.

Brooke Hogan with Swizz Beatz in NYC:

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Nick Hogan is Screwed

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Although Clearwater police have yet to release any information regarding their investigation into the car accident that left John J. Graziano in critical condition, several witnesses have come forward and revealed that Nick Hogan was racing a 2006 silver Dodge Viper coupe through the streets of downtown Clearwater when he lost control and struck a palm tree and a median. Nice.

Frances Vitalis, a Plant City registered nurse, was riding home from Clearwater Beach on a motorcycle with a friend Sunday when she saw Bollea’s yellow Toyota Supra and the silver Viper speeding between traffic lights. “We knew something was going to happen,” Vitalis said Tuesday. “You know that this is a bad situation and these guys are hotdogging.” The roads were slick from scattered summer showers. One car would speed away, then the next would catch up, she said. The cat-and-mouse game ended when the Supra fish-tailed and crashed into a palm tree, Vitalis said. She ran to the car and tried to open the driver’s door and then the passenger’s door. The car was so mangled they wouldn’t open, she said.”

At this point, Hulk Hogan should probably retain Jesus or a Native American shaman, because if Graziano dies, that’s gross vehicular manslaughter. A charge that holds a maximum sentence of 15 years in prison. Not to worry, because that shouldn’t be a problem for Nick. He’s Hulk Hogan’s son and he killed an Iraqi war veteran, so nobody should fuck with him in prison. Nobody at all.

John J. Graziano


Update: In an interview in the upcoming issue of Rides magazine, Nick Hogan calls his gay yellow Toyota Supra a “pussy magnet” and that he routinely races his sister and his parents. Be sure you read this part, it was my favorite:

In my silver Viper, I was driving from Miami to Tampa. I got pulled over going 107 [mph] and the guy let me off. He’s like, “Hey, I know who you are, just keep going, ya know.” Dude, I got back on the road and two minutes later I get pulled over going 113 [mph]. Another highway patrol from the same county said, “I just heard on the radio that my buddy pulled you over and let you go. I’ma let you go this time. It’s your second warning. You get pulled over again, you’re probably going to go to jail.” Three minutes later, [I was] doing 123 [mph] in a 50 [mph zone]. The guy is like, “Hey, I just heard you got pulled over twice in the last 10 minutes. I got to write you a ticket.”


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The Hogans are Great

Hulk Hogan (real name: Terry Bollea) has retained high-powered Clearwater, FL attorney J. Kevin Hayslett, a criminal defense lawyer who specializes in DUI cases, to defend his son, Nick Hogan (real name: Nick Bollea), who is due in court on September 10 for plowing his yellow Toyota Supra into a median and a tree (while illegally street racing a Dodge Viper) in downtown Clearwater Sunday night. His passenger, Iraq war veteran John Graziano, remains in critical condition.

Everything that happened … was because of excessive speed,” Clearwater police spokesman Wayne Shelor has said. Bollea was treated and released from Bayfront Medical Center, but a passenger in the Supra, John Graziano, 22, remained at the hospital in critical condition late Tuesday, a hospital spokeswoman said. Graziano, a Marine, returned from Iraq last year, family members have said. Bollea has not been charged in Monday’s wreck. Investigators continue to piece together what happened, Shelor said.”

Since getting his license in July 2005, Nick Hogan has been cited for speeding four times. 115 in a 70, 57 in a 30, 106 in a 70, and 82 in a 45 (a construction zone where workers were present). It may be just me, but I can think of a few things this jackass needs besides a lawyer. Like a bear trap where his airbag should be. Because if the Iraqis don’t kill you, take a ride with Nick Hogan. That should do the trick.

View Nick’s traffic tickets here.

I can only assume they hired this lawyer because Graziano is about to die. How compassionate.

She-Hulk on the beach:


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