I haven’t really been keeping up with the LOVE Advent thing, so somebody needs to tell me why love is in all caps, but when Miranda Kerr does something my penis kinda requires that I post it. I think if more churches used Miranda Kerr in lingerie to celebrate the coming of Christ’s birth, I’d probably donate to help one of them build a new stadium.
So, yeah, Charlie Sheen [ The Superficial ]
Watch Blindspot? The fake tattoos are poisoning the chick [ Dlisted ]
Lucy Aragon is topless on the beach (NSFW) [ Taxi Driver Movie ]
“Angels Undressed“ is what you hope it is (NSFW) [ The Nip Slip ]
Gigi Hadid continues to be hot [ DrunkenStepfather ]
Laura Sammarco has a nice Instagram [ Hollywood Tuna ]
Jennifer Lawrence wore this dress [ Moe Jackson ]
Ryan Gosling is gonna be in Bladerunner 2 [ The Blemish ]
Jessica Alba in a sports bra [ Popoholic ]
Irina Shayk in lingerie [ Celebslam ]
Lizzy Caplan and a sheet [ Egotastic ]
Miranda Kerr is dating a billionaire, so it’s your guess as to why she’s selling body wash on Instagram. I’m sure she has a good reason. Maybe because she looks like Miranda Kerr and can make money by standing in a shower with a bottle of body wash. Or maybe this is a product she’s passionate about. We don’t know. Everybody has their thing. Posting this video I guess is my thing.
Hey, remember what I said in that last post? Yeah, apparently Anna Duggar has been praying for the wrong thing. Thanks, Anna. I owe you one, because Miranda Kerr wore this to Milan Fashion Week yesterday. To anybody out there wondering if you should get into coding, this is what being a CEO of a startup buys you until Taylor Swift tries to cockblock you. Also, why is Facebook down? The Pope should have blessed it while he was up there.
Miranda Kerr is dating Evan Spiegel, the billionaire CEO and co-founder of Snapchat, and since 2 out of 4 white men in America and Europe have dated Taylor Swift, Spiegel apparently had a fling with Swift then dumped her via text. Taylor Swift called Miranda Kerr to let her know that.
I don’t know what you expect me to say about Miranda Kerr that I haven’t said in the past 7 years already, but hey, you know how Tess Holliday really thinks she’s a model? That’s pretty funny. Anyway, here’s some Miranda Kerr sideboob and frontboob and just in general boob in a dress she wore that I think was made from a 3D printout of a dream I had.
You’re probably checking your corporate dress code to see if cotton-blend spandex is business casual since you ate like 250,000 calories this weekend because you secretly hate yourself, so here’s Miranda Kerr modeling the new WonderBra and basically being what your boyfriend or husband thinks about when she’s banging you while trying to avoid your face because it smells like gravy. Wait, what are you doing? That dress doesn’t fit anymore put it away. Stop making this worse on yourself. This is getting really embarrassing.
If you want to feel even worse, check the video after the jump.
If you’re still wondering why people pay Miranda Kerr to walk around in lingerie and be the face of their brands, please keep in mind that these are pictures of Miranda Kerr walking down the street. This is how she looks walking down the street. Do you look like this walking down the street? No. This is why you’re buying the products that she’s selling.
I’m almost positive that there’s a Korean mafia in Atlanta, because they are legit everywhere and own everything, so I see a bunch of Koreans pretty much everyday. I assume they are all from South Korea, because if they were from North Korea, I’m not sure if they would know that Atlanta existed. Anyway, there’s a lot of Korean chicks here, and none of them need/wear bras, so I don’t know why Miranda Kerr is in South Korea signing autographs for Wonderbra. Is there a big market for that on Korean eBay? Somebody let me know because I could use another revenue stream.
October is the start of Basic Bitch Month, so if you’re tired if seeing chicks in scarves and leggings and Uggs today posting on Facebook about how they’ve narrowed down their Halloween costume idea list they started in August, go ahead and look at these pictures of Miranda Kerr at Paris Fashion Week. It doesn’t look like she’s thinking about candles or getting salad dressing on the side, so that’s a plus.