This isn’t Verne Troyer at the Ryan Sheckler X Games Celebrity Skins Classic. This is a shorter, whiter Tiger Woods. Tiger is a T-1000 constructed of mimetic poly-alloy. He touched Verne Troyer before this tournament and then proceeded to shame everyone else who played. Afterward, he tried to hit on a group of Swedish bikini models. When that didn’t work out, he turned back into Tiger Woods and spent the evening flossing his teeth with blonde hair and G-strings.