Mini-Me Isn’t Golfing

This isn’t Verne Troyer at the Ryan Sheckler X Games Celebrity Skins Classic. This is a shorter, whiter Tiger Woods. Tiger is a T-1000 constructed of mimetic poly-alloy. He touched Verne Troyer before this tournament and then proceeded to shame everyone else who played. Afterward, he tried to hit on a group of Swedish bikini models. When that didn’t work out, he turned back into Tiger Woods and spent the evening flossing his teeth with blonde hair and G-strings.

Photos: Splash

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Liv Tyler is Topless

Liv Tyler was in Copenhagen with her hot friend over the weekend where she decided to sunbathe topless. She didn’t decide to turn over. What is she trying to hide? Is she a terrorist? Is she part of an underground socialist movement that is waging a secret war against the United States? What is going on here. I don’t think I’m gonna feel safe until I see her tits.

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Mini-Me Has a Sex Tape

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This looks like The Crying Game 2. Because the original wasn’t fucked up enough. I’d like to thank Verne Troyer, his lizard tongue, and his … partner … for my anticipated nightmares tonight. I feel like I’m 8 years old again and just saw Poltergeist for the first time. So now I’ll sleep with the light on for a month, have Mommy come over and check the closet for monsters before I go to sleep, and will have a 6 foot “safe zone” on the perimeter of my bed which I’ll jump over and around so whatever lurks beneath the bed won’t pull me underneath it and try to kill me. Thanks again, Mini-Me.

Click here for TMZ’s short clip of the full video that SugarDVD is trying to sell for 100 grand.

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