Miley Cyrus Was Hospitalized With “Severe Allergic Reaction To Antibiotics”
Miley Cyrus Was Hospitalized With “Severe Allergic Reaction To Antibiotics”

 

Uh huh. Yeah okay.

Her Tuesday night "Bangerz" tour concert at the Sprint Center in Kansas City, Missouri, has been canceled, according to a statement from the arena. "Cyrus has been hospitalized for a severe allergic reaction to antibiotics and has been placed on medical rest by her doctors," the statement said. "She will not be able to perform as scheduled." The 21-year-old singer was not too ill to tweet from her Kansas City hospital bed, though. "Kansas I promise Im as (heartbroken) as you are. I wanted so badly 2 b there 2night. Not being with yall makes me feel s–ttier than I already do," she wrote in a Twitter message to fans Tuesday afternoon.

"Antibiotics". I guess that's one way to say it. But everyone should probably stay away from Kansas City, because obviously somebody is cutting the molly there with pollen.

 

pic source = Twitter

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Miley Cyrus Is A Porn Parody
Miley Cyrus Is A Porn Parody

 

Happy Friday? Vice reports:

The first rule of being famous is: You haven’t truly hit the big time until you’re spoofed in a porn parody. It happened to hate-filled unemployed person Sarah Palin, it happened to the melanoma-ridden cast of Jersey Shore, and now, it’s happened to Miley Cyrus. Porn company Devil’s Film has been teasing their XXX parody of the pop star called Molly’s Wrecking Ballz for a while and they just dropped the trailer. In the two-minute video, we see “Miley” in a strap-on lesbian scene with a “homegirl with a big butt” (like from her video for “We Can’t Stop”), take a doggystyle pounding from Robin Thicke (like from her VMA performance), and go for a limo fuck ride with Justin Timberlake (cultural reference not found). Here, let the press release tell you more. Take it away pornography company… "This hardcore feature follows the adventures of America’s pill-popping princess Molly, as she sucks and fucks her way to stardom with Hollywood’s hottest celebs. With pseudo appearances by Beyonce, Liam Hemsworth, Robin Thicke, and Justin Beiber look-alikes, this A-list fuck fest is sure to make headlines and turn heads."

You can watch the trailer HERE, and I don't know if my headline gave it away or not, but it's very, very NSFW and kinda gross. Much like Miley's ass. Christ, put that thing away. Nobody wants to see that, man.

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The ‘Bangerz’ Tour Is Still Pretty Much The Same

Here's Miley Cyrus on her Bangerz Tour in some city I forgot to notice, and I mean, look for yourself. Awkward sexual expression, weed sponsorship, people in teddy bear costumes humaliting their families, cultural appropriation for financial gain, tongue, and not an ass to be seen. It's all there.

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Miley Cyrus Is Mysterious
Miley Cyrus Is Mysterious

 

A day after grabbing her vagina and showing off the bruise on her sad ass, Miley Cyrus posted a topless pic on Twitter and a pic of a bunch of money down her shorts on Instagram. What is her motivation? What is she trying to tell us? Are these clues part of a greater mystery? Does she want to be a stripper? I mean, her middle name is "Destiny" so it's not like she would have to get new business cards.

 

Miley Cyrus Instagram

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Cool Pic, Bro
Cool Pic, Bro

 

Miley Cyrus' Bangerz tour is in Florida right now, specifically Tampa, so it was only a matter of time before she got into a bikini and put a pic on Instagram. So, yeah, Here it is. The caption reads, "#fuckyeahtampa yasss that's a bruise on my arssss". I tried to find the bruise but that meant I'd have to stare at her unfortunate ass, and as it turns out, that's not really my thing. Not really my thing at all if we're being totally honest here. I'm comfortable enough to share that with you guys.

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Miley Cyrus’ Tour Bus Basically Exploded

 

Cuz Miley spits dat hot fiyah. TMZ reports:

Miley Cyrus' tour bus went up in flames last night … and when we say up in flames … we mean UP IN FLAMES. Miley's sister Noah posted a series of videos on Instagram last night with the caption "Tour bus down!" She later confirmed on Twitter that no one was injured. Miley was traveling to New Orleans, where she is scheduled to play a show tonight.

They said this was caused by an exploding tire, but let's be real here. The bus caught on fire because Miley is just too much sexy for a bus. With her inbred eyes and dead, boiled chicken skin ass, the bus had no other choice but to explode in lust and passion. Or it could have been weed. Or the tire. I was totally kidding about all that other stuff. Miley Cyrus is very unattractive is what I'm trying to say here.

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Miley’s Bangerz Tour Seems To Be Going Well

Even if you aren't looking at these pictures of Miley Cyrus' Bangerz tour stop in Vancouver this weekend, you'd could have closed your eyes to imagine what a Miley Cyrus Bangerz tour would look like and pretty much come up with the same thing. I'm not sure if you can pick up on the theme here, but if you're a medical student looking to study for an upcoming gynecologist exam, the Miley Cyus Bangerz tour is another resource that's available to you.

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Miley Cyrus Does GQ Russia
Miley Cyrus Does GQ Russia

I'm sure there's a market for whatever Miley Cyrus is trying to sell here, so maybe Russia is a great place for this cover. Women there have beards and chop firewood. I think they wrestle cows too if the the results for "Russian women stereotypes" on Google are correct. Seriously, stick your tongue back in your mouth, ho. Also, do about 400 sets of weighted lunges and put on a training bra. This is just getting embarrassing now.

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Miley Cyrus Banged Kellan Lutz For Like Two Weeks
Miley Cyrus Banged Kellan Lutz For Like Two Weeks

 

After Miley Cyrus split from Liam Hemsworth, she had a few jumpoffs, but none as douchey as Kellan Lutz. Their love has quickly faded. Try not to be too sad. E! reports:

Sorry, y'all: Miley Cyrus and Kellan Lutz aren't going to be 2014's power couple. Sources tell E! News exclusively the pair "are not really hanging out anymore" because of "their hectic schedules at the moment." Another reason? Their "quick fling," says a source, "just kind of burned out."

So, it "just kinda burned out". Translation: he couldn't go at least five times in one night or he realized what he was looking at during reverse cowgirl then dry heaved. We've all been there. I mean, not me, but still.

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