Miley Cyrus Says She’s Pansexual
Miley Cyrus Says She’s Pansexual


While Josh Duggar is busy releasing statements and going to Christian labor camp for paying to bang a porn star because he wasn’t allowed to touch his dick as kid, and while the rest of the Duggars are busy getting sodomized by justice, Miley Cyrus is in the October issue of Elle UK discussing sex like a person who doesn’t believe Jesus will fill her womb with snakes if she’s not married and pregnant by 19.

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Miley Cyrus Went In On Nicki Minaj

Remember when Nicki Minaj got upset because “Anaconda” didn’t get nominated for Video Of The Year at the year’s MTV VMAs because of racism even though it’s a shitty song, then Taylor Swift got mad then they made up? Then remember when Miley Cyrus was announced as the host then called out Swift in an interview with Marie Claire, then said she had more shade planned for Swift at the actual VMAs, then Swift got paranoid that Miley and Katy Perry are conspiring against her, because she’s so super fantastic feminist awesome and they’re just jel? Well, Miley Cyrus did an interview with The New York Times where she said Nicki Minaj is a bitch pretty much all the time to everyone. It was announced yesterday that Nick Minaj would open this year’s VMAs with, well, ‘Anaconda”. What a wonderful time to be alive.

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Miley Cyrus Has Taylor Swift Shook

After Miley Cyrus said her titties were better than Taylor Swift’s fake guns in her Marie Claire interview then reports of Miley planning to throw more shade at Taylor Swift at the VMAs, Taylor Swift has been backstage during her tour frantically trying to find the right gif to accurately express her innermost thoughts and emotions. Those innermost thoughts and emotions being that Miley and Katy Perry have entered an unholy alliance to destroy her.

Taylor is very suspicious that Katy’s behind Miley’s attack on her, she blames her,” a source told HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY. “She knows Miley and Katy hang out and she knows Katy still talks so much trash about her, she knows she tries to turn people against her. She thinks Miley is just a pawn in Katy’s game, she feels sorry for her.”

I don’t know if this is true or not, but Taylor Swift does look like the kind of person who would say, “aww, I feel sorry for you”. She probably says that to homeless people then gives them a cardigan made out of Tegan and Sara’s hair.

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Miley Cyrus Says ‘Hannah Montana’ Gave Her Body Dysmorphia, Planning More Taylor Swift Shade

In another except from drug her Marie Claire interview, Miley Cyrus self-diagnosed herself with body dysmorphia because she had to wear a wig and glitter as a child or something like that. Maybe cut back on the weed some?

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Taylor Swift Is Probably Gonna Write A Whole Album About Miley Cyrus Now

In the September 2015 issue of Marie Claire, Miley Cyrus did a photoshoot and was asked some questions. She somehow managed to talk about doing LSD when asked about sexism, but most importantly, she was asked about Taylor Swift. In response, Taylor has a Tumblr post saved in drafts and is actively searching Etsy for the most passive aggressive stamp she can use to mail her hand-written letter to Miley. The stationery, I assume, has a matte printing of a girl kissing a horse in a meadow in the lower right hand corner. Taylor also wrote the letter in Burgues Script calligraphy font and is probably laced with lilac-scented arsenic.

On Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” video: “I don’t get the violence revenge thing. That’s supposed to be a good example? And I’m a bad role model because I’m running around with my titties out? I’m not sure how titties are worse than guns.”

I mean…chick has a point. When your whole girl power image is built on songs dragging dudes who didn’t want to date you anymore, the image kinda collapses on itself. Then when you get a group of women together just to bash another woman, then you just look kinda petty and dumb. Like when you report a Paul Walker meme to Facebook. Thanks for that btw, Paul Walker fan.

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Afternoon Dump – Tuesday

Max von Sydow will be on S6 of Game of Thrones. Someone please hold me.

Scott Walker got trolled so hard he enrolled in college

Ronda Rousey is starring in her own autobiography’s bio pic

The Duggars are broke and begging fans to buy their shitty t-shirts

Vanna White topless in the 80s

 Two people got shot and died at OVOFest. These two people were not Drake and Meek Mill

Kelly Osbourne thinks all Latinos clean toilets

Beyonce dropped $312K on a pair of shoes

Here’s a video of a cop and a baby skunk with its head stuck in a yogurt cup

Allure Magazine ran an Afro-style tutorial. They used a white model.

Kentucky cops handcuff 8-year olds with disabilities now

Lenny Kravitz split his pants and flashed his dick at a concert in Stokholm

Iggy Azalea admits to having a nose job

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Here’s Miley Cyrus Fingering Stella Maxwell

Hey, remember when we talked about Miley Cyrus dating Victoria’s Secret model Stella Maxwell? Good, good. Well, here’s a video of Miley Cyrus fingering Stella Mawell in a parking lot. I’m going to go out on a limb and say Miley Cyrus’ 4th of July weekend will be better than yours.

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Miley Cyrus Is Having Sex With This

So, Miley Cyrus is dating Stella Maxwell. A blonde, 24-year old Victoria’s Secret model. Here’s a bunch of her pictures. Hopefully she puts up some more before Leonardo DiCaprio goes into a Coffee Bean and kills 9 people.

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Miley Cyrus Took A Shower

Miley Cyrus took time out from braiding her armpit hair and coloring her vagina (NSFW) to hose off and attend the 2015 amfAR Inspiration Gala in New York City. Not sure for what. Witnesses say Rachel Dolezal showed up at midnight and turned her limo back into a pumpkin.

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Bristol Palin Hates Miley Cyrus Now

Bristol Palin, 24, was pregnant at 16, engaged twice, and routinely wears mixed fibers (Leviticus 19:19) and husses herself up with makeup and jewelry like a worldly harlot (1 Tim 2:9). She also danced lustfully with a man who was not her husband on DWTS. But in new blog post, she wants to remind you who the true hypocrite is: Miley Cyrus, who recently briefly mentioned Christians in her interview with Paper Magazine with caused Bristol’s Persecution Phone to ring.

Cyrus, 22, told Paper that she is the least judgmental person ever, saying, “As long as you’re not hurting anyone, your choices are your choices.” But she did have some harsh words for Christian lawmakers who want to stifle social change. “Those people [shouldn’t] get to make our laws,” she said. She also called literal readings of Bible stories like Noah’s Ark “fucking insane” and labeled her parents, of whom she is fond, as “conservative-ass motherfuckers.”

Pretty straightforward. Since Bristol is a Christian, you’d assume she just forgive Miley then go volunteer at a homeless shelter or adopt a baby born with AIDS lol no I meant she sat down in her condo paid for by Candie’s Foundation and wrote an angry blog post.

Is it just me or does it seem more than a little fake that someone claiming to be accepting of everyone and everything would spew such  judgment towards her own parents and their deeply held religious beliefs? She wants everyone else to let her be “free to be Miley,” but seems unwilling to offer the same respect to her parents and those who wish to live out their Christian faith. Oh, Miley.  Thanks for giving us the best example of what “tolerance” looks like in Hollywood: it looks a lot like contempt.

Passive aggressive? Check. Sanctimonious? Check. Self-righteous? Check? Christian persecution truther? Check. Cherry picked passages from a publication to focus on while neglecting the others? Check. Bristol has this Christian thing down. I understand that reality wasn’t built for everyone, but Miley Cyrus wants everyone to be naked and smoke weed, but Miley Cyrus isn’t actively working for a lobbying group to pass laws that say people who don’t get naked and smoke weed can’t get married. See the difference here? No? I’m sorry. You do have some interesting viewpoints though. Tell me again about that dude who lived three days inside a whale.

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