Miley Cyrus Is Topless In The Desert
Miley Cyrus Is Topless In The Desert

 

This weekend there was an Internet hoax thing that said Miley Cyrus was dead. Turns out she’s not dead, she’s just topless in the desert wearing booty shorts. I think the hoax was supposed to say her booty was dead. Get it? Because she has a flat ass. I crack myself up!

 

http://instagram.com/p/qvJU5iwzMI/?modal=true

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Miley Cyrus Is Topless
Miley Cyrus Is Topless

 

Well, this picture now exists I guess. I don't know if it speaks to me on any sort of emotional level or whatever, but it does kinda let me know that Lana Del Rey recently hooked Miley up with her heroin dealer.

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Miley Cyrus Is Still Doing This

 

Maybe Miley Cyrus is right. Because maybe she is fat black chick from Decatur wearing spandex shorts trapped in the body of a scrawny, annoying redneck with a flat ass because she has all the confidence in the world despite not being sexually attractive in any way. This why all copies of Cosmo should be burned a Jezebel should be sold to Bro Bible. Why are they teaching women these things? It's unseemly.

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Miley Cyrus’ Wax Figure Isn’t Creepy At All

The real Miley Cyus looks like a blowup sex doll that's been on clearance for a while, so it's good to see whoever makes things out of wax kept the same theme here. Kudos. But to be honest, its kinda difficult to tell the difference between Miley and this thing. I think a good way to find out is to just punch either one of them as hard as you can. If one screams, then you'll know that's the real Miley then maybe you can ask for an autograph or a picture or something like that. I hear she's pretty approachable.

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Yeah Ok

In case you didn't already realize that Miley Cyrus is overcompensating for being a bony white girl who was born rich and handed her own Disney show, here she is performing at G-A-Y with a giant dildo. Man, so shocking and groundbreaking. Nothing like pandering to your audience to mark yourself as a true legend and revolutionary. Can't wait until she performs for Donald Sterling and lynches a black guy.

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Miley Cyus Seems To Be Doing Okay Now

Here's Miley Cyrus leaving an afterparty at Madame Jojo's in London earlier this morning, and as you can see, she seems to be fully recovered from her "allergic reaction". You can also see that she's annoying as hell. Does the guy driving this car now he can just drive off a bridge and end his suffereing? It won't hurt. It'll be quick. Come on, man. Do what you were born to do.

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