Eva Longoria’s Love Is Permanent

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker‘s marriage is over, but they’ll always have their memories (and probably herpes). Oh, and their tattoos. The New York Daily News reports:

Shortly after the couple wed in an elaborate ceremony in Italy three years ago, they had the Roman numerals of their wedding date, 7/7/07, tattooed on their bodies. Longoria had the date inked on the inside of her right wrist, while Parker made the romantic gesture of having it put on his left ring finger.

As if that weren’t symbolic enough, the actress also had Parker’s jersey number, “Nine,” tattooed on the back of her neck the next year. Several months later, Parker followed suit and had the same inscription placed on his right hand.

According to TMZ.com, Longoria also has Parker’s initials tattooed in a private part of her body.

This would be a lot worse if she weren’t rich enough to get this shit lasered off. I’d leave Tony Parker’s initials though. If they’re where we think they are, “TP” could just serve as a reminder to use some.

I searched for “tattoo” and “bikini,” and Michelle Hunziker came up. She and Eva Longoria both have tattoos, but only one of them has breasts.

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Well, That Was Quick



Since he is so committed to saving his marriage, Jesse James checked into sex rehab last week. But what they don’t tell you in sex rehab is that you can’t post ads on Craigslist for tatted up Nazi whores. Star Magazine reports:
The source claims Jesse quietly checked out of Arizona’s Sierra Tucson Treatment Center within the last couple of days. His exit coincides with a moving van being spotted outside the Seal Beach, Calif., home he has shared with Sandra on April 2. “All of Jesse’s pals have been talking about it,” says the source. Though a rep stated that James had “realized that this time was crucial to help himself, help his family and help save his marriage” when he entered the facility on March 26, the source adds: “It seems Jesse just isn’t that serious about rehab after all.”

Man, this treatment center must use magic and sorcery, because Jesse James was only there a week and now he’s cured. I bet he’s at his friends house making a scrapbook for Sandra Bullock and spraying cologne on homemade cards. Because he’s so in love you see.

The banner pic and the pics below (taken in Miami this weekend) are of Swiss model and actress, Michelle Hunziker. They don’t have anything to do with this post other than the fact that they don’t have anything to do with this post:

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Michelle Hunziker Is An Actress



Apparently one person in Switzerland doesn’t mind coming to America, because Swiss-German actress, Michelle Hunziker, was in Beverly Hills yesterday shooting some movie I’ll never see. If you’re like me, you’ve never heard of this chick before, so I’m cool with making sweeping generalizations and saying her hobbies include meatballs, hot cocoa, unoriginal 1997 armband tattoos, and anal sex. Although I’m not really sure about the anal sex part. That was more of a suggestion. Hey, Michelle. Call me.

Geographical update: Ok, so I don’t know the difference between Sweden and Switzerland. I know one has a bikini team, but other than that I don’t really care. Sorry!

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Michelle Hunziker is in a Bikini



Michelle Hunziker is a Swiss actress, model, singer, and television personality, but success in America has proven difficult, so wedging her bikini in her ass is a positive first step in changing that. I’m not even sure what her face looks like, mainly because her ass is fantastic. If elected her boyfriend, I promise to drill her until we are no longer dependent on foreign oil.

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Michelle Hunziker is Here To Help



IDLYITW has been unsexily overrun by old people and midget sex recently, so here’s Swiss actress/model/singer, Michelle Hunziker, to fix all that. Damn, she has a hot ass. Legend has it that if you stick your tongue on it, a portal to a magical world will be opened where you will witness miraculous acts of wonder and be granted untold riches.

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