Michael Phelps Paid A Dominatrix $900 To Pee On Him

Michael Phelps likes warm spots in pool.

(Kim) Petro claims Phelps contacted her off her “busty festish” Craigslist ad in February 2013. They allegedly negotiated a $900 “donation” before Phelps initiated Phase One of the age-old urination mating dance: hydration.

Phelps,  Petro claims, called her on his cell phone, saying his name was Fabian Marasciullo, a Miami music producer who is close to Phelps’ good friend, rapper Lil’ Wayne.

‘When he said drink some water before I get to the hotel, I knew what I was in for,’ said Petro. ‘I was going to go to the bathroom anyway – I figured I might as well get paid for it!’

When she got to [New York’s London Hotel] she claims Phelps removed his shirt and then shorts to reveal that he was wearing ‘skimpy women’s underwear.’

They then smoked a little weed according to Petro and got down to business.

‘I got above him [on the bed] to [urinate on him],’ said Petro. ‘After I was done, he asked if it was okay to [pleasure himself]. Of course, I’m going to bend the rules a little for a famous Olympian, so he pulled down his panties.’

That is when she claims she noticed he had a string tied around his genitals.

In case you thought this story couldn’t get any sexier, THIS is Kim Petro (who even passed a lie detector test before National Enquirer would buy her story) This story makes me wish I still had food poisoning tbh.

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Michael Phelps Is Stoned

Michael Phelps loves to get high, finally giving me an excuse when I get caught smoking by strangers: “What? Michael Phelps does it, and that dude is an American hero!”

Phelps has acknowledged the above picture as authentic, telling AP: “I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

The tabloid said the photo was from a Nov. 6 party in South Carolina, a little more than a month after Phelps wrapped up his record haul in Beijing.

And I could post nothing, or pictures of Australian actress Teresa Palmer. Hmmm, decisions….

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Michael Phelps is Smooth



Michael Phelps is dating an Asian chick, and here he is with some fug Asian chick at LAX earlier this week. Phelps claims this isn’t his girlfriend, and she’s just some stalker, so who knows if it is or not, but I’m mostly concerned with the fact that this thing with the giant implants could even pass for his girlfriend. Phelps has 8 gold medals – he isn’t Wesley Snipes. He should be dating Swedish models or Russian teenagers, not some chick who gives massages and happy endings at a strip mall.

Photos: Splash

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Phelps Beats Other Countries, Bangs Their Women



Eamon Sullivan is an Australian Olympic swimmer who blew his shot at gold medals in Bejing by losing in races in which he was favored (he finished 6th in one of those). He was dating fellow Australian swimmer, Stephanie Rice. Then America’s Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals. Eamon Sullivan is no longer dating Stephanie Rice. New York Post reports:

Phelps, fresh from shattering Mark Spitz’s 36-year-old record, was spotted Monday night in a hot make-out session with Down Under swimmer Stephanie Rice, a source tells The Post’s Clemente Lisi and Luke Dennehy. The pumped-up pair clinched and swapped spit at a celebratory bash outside the Olympic Village. The Baltimore Bullet swooped in for the lip-lock with the 20-year-old brunette just weeks after she split from Aussie swimmer Eamon Sullivan. “All the swimmers are talking about it, and [Sullivan] is cut up about what happened,” the source said. The day after the face-sucking frolics, Phelps and Rice cheekily posed together for Speedo – laughing and playfully groping each other as a photographer snapped them in their swimsuits. “I definitely admire him for his athletic ability and everything he’s achieved,” gushed Rice, who won three gold medals of her own. “I’m just really glad to be in the mix with that.”

I tried to think of a scenario where Michael Phelps could possibly kick more ass, but involved him carrying a trident, wearing an American flag as a cape, and flying into outer space on a giant eagle to thwart aliens from colonizing Earth. Some people thought that might a little unrealistic. But don’t kid yourselves. They’re coming. Oh yes, they’re coming. Wake up America!

The following video is dedicated to this picture of Stephanie Rice and Rihanna:

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Jennifer Lopez is Still a Bitch



Jennifer Lopez never ever disappoints when it comes to telling the world how great Jennifer Lopez is. And I have to admit, this time it’s pretty impressive. Even for me. You’ve been warned. As you read this, try not to punch a hole in the first thing you see. MSNBC reports:

Poor Jennifer Lopez. The new mom is training for a triathlon, but everyone is too busy watching the Olympics to notice. Lopez, who appeared on “Good Morning America” Aug. 18 to discuss her preparations for the Malibu Triathlon, was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer,” according to a GMA source. “She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.'” Lopez is planning on donating money raised for her race to the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. To help drum up attention, she started a blog to share tips on training. “Touch up makeup prior to your run” hasn’t made its way into any posts, despite Lopez being spotted arriving in Central Park with her makeup artist later in the day. “Apparently, Jenny from the Block requires a lot of powder,” says the source.”

Yeah, Jennifer. Who cares to see the most decorated Olympian of all time make history when we can watch your fat ass putting on mascara and struggling to breathe during a triathalon you’ll never finish? Here’s a hint: Everyone. So shut the hell up and take a moment to finally realize that you only have a career because Selena got shot in the back. You suck and you’re completely irrelevant. The only way you’d be a lead story today is if you fell into a vat of chemicals and grew 50 feet then attacked a city.

Photos: Splash

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Michael Phelps Owns France



Leave it to the French (who have never won anything that matters) to talk shit to the United States Men’s Swim Team, which just happens to include the greatest swimmer of this generation.

We will smash them up!” France’s Alain Bernard boasted on Sunday after the heats of the men’s 4x100m freestyle relay.”

Not only did USA win the gold in the 4×100 men’s relay, they broke the world record. Suck it, France. The only way you could’ve been more embarrassed is if Michael Phelps was dressed as a mime.

If you don’t know anything about WWII, watch the French dudes in this video and you’ll get the general idea:

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