Michael Lohan Says Lindsay Is An Actual Prostitute Now



Lindsay was paid $100,000 to spend New Year’s in London by Brunei’s Prince Haji Abdul Azim, and Lindsay has been living rent free Domingo Zapata‘s penthouse at the Bowery Hotel in NYC and his place at Chateau Marmont for months. Why? Well, because Dina makes sure Lindsay offers the full Girlfriend Experience or something like that. Radar Online reports:

Desperate for money, troubled actress Lindsay Lohan is still living the high life by working as a professional escort, her father Michael Lohan and other insiders exclusively revealed in the new issue of Star magazine. “She is getting paid to date rich men,” Michael said of his 26-year-old daughter. “Dina (Lindsay’s mother) is pimping her out – it’s disgusting!” And it’s not just the Mean Girls star’s estranged dad who is dishing on her new source of income. “The dates last for days, and the guys pay for everything – hotel, travel costs, food, whatever – as well as jewelry and other gifts,” someone close to the actress revealed.

Here’s the part that lost me:

So far, no one is suggesting that Lohan is doing anything more than act as arm candy for the rich playboys who like to be seen with beautiful and famous women.

All this sounds like a deleted scene from Taken where Lindsay Lohan tell Liam Neeson’s daughter to stop making trouble for everyone.

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One Person Really Enjoyed Liz & Dick



Because I grew up without a father and a hate myself, I live tweeted the premiere of Lindsay Lohan‘s Lifetime shitshow Liz & Dick last night, and let me be clear, after ten minutes in I would have rather watched a YouTube video of my own leg being amputated. There aren’t words in the dictionary to accurately describe how the wrap party just wasn’t held in a funeral home with framed pictures on caskets of everyone involved. Enter Michael Lohan:

“They know nothing about @lindsaylohan talent! She has more talent in her pinky then all of them together,” the proud dad tweeted. “You proved the critics wrong @LindsayLohan you are one of the best, so gifted, so amazing! Now apply it ALL! God bless you! And our family!”

Immediately after this tweet, Michael Lohan texted Lindsay to see if he could borrow $50. He also said he hated to ask, but the check cashing place in his laundromat isn’t open on Sundays.

Source = Radar Online

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Lindsay Lohan’s Entire Management Team Staged The Intervention



Last week, Michael Lohan attempted to stage an intervention for Lindsay by randomly showing up to her house, but he didn’t make it in the door because Lindsay called the cops. Then her mom told Lindsay to get a protection order against her father then stole $100 from her purse. TMZ reports that Lindsay is now following her mom’s advice.

Lindsay Lohan is royally pissed at Michael Lohan and his “intervention” attempt — and now she’s 100% on board with obtaining an order of protection against him … just like her mom wanted all along. We broke the story … MiLo showed up to her house Friday — then refused to leave — and that was the last straw. Lindsay feels the ONLY way to stop her dad from pulling his crazy stunts is to get a judge involved … and she knows a lot of judges. We’re told LiLo will fly to NYC this week to meet with the rest of her family — and they’ll figure out how to get the stay away order.

Lindsay’s family believes Michael did this for attention, but as it turns out, the intervention was staged and planned by Michael and Lindsay’s ENTIRE MANAGEMENT TEAM, but the whole plan went to shit.

The emails are between Michael, Evan Hainey (LiLo’s manager) Dave Feldman (entertainment lawyer) and Shawn Holley (criminal defense lawyer). The emails were sent between Sept. 23rd and Oct. 18th (the day before Michael’s intervention). Michael emailed Evan and Shawn on Sept. 23rd, claiming he had been informed by several people Lindsay was “drinking between a bottle and a bottle and a half of vodka per day” adding, “I have seen the empty bottles and even cocaine in her room at Chateau.” Michael continues, “She is AGAIN, taking pills to keep her up and to sleep (adderall)!! I even know that she is and was drinking during work as far back as Liz and Dick!” Michael then pleads, “I am asking you to PLEASE PLEASE find a way to get her to LA toward the end of the first week of October or the beginning of the second so we can do an intervention and FINALLY end this madness!” LiLo’s manager Evan responds the same day to Michael and Shawn, “I am hearing the same things.” Evan continues, Lindsay will fly back to L.A. Oct 15th — and they should plan an intervention for that week. Lindsay’s lawyer Shawn responds unequivocally, “Let’s do it.” On Oct. 12th Michael and LiLo’s entertainment lawyer, Dave, sent multiple emails to each other — planning a conference call with a well-known interventionist, named Earl Hightower. Then on Oct. 18th (the day before the intervention) Michael sent an email to Evan … revealing a plan to confront LiLo at her Bev Hills home. According to text messages from Oct 19th, which we have also seen, the group decided Michael would confront LiLo FIRST … and everyone else would show up afterwards.

So to recap, her dad and management team are trying once again to save her life, and Dina and the rest of her family are protecting their asset. That’s basically all it comes down to really. I would be more interested but did you see that pass RGIII threw yesterday? What was that about?

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Michael Lohan Was In The Championships

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Michael Lohan was in something called the Pillow Fight Championship. The only way this could be be done right is if it involved me and Gerard Butler or if Michael Lohan’s opponent had a pillowcase full of pennies.

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Michael Lohan Might Die Soon

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Beating women while trying to jump into a tree must take a lot out of you. TMZ reports:

Michael Lohan is set to go under the knife tomorrow, but today … sources close to MiLo tell TMZ he is having trouble breathing and speaking as he rests up for the surgery. As TMZ first reported, Lohan will undergo heart surgery on Monday and have a stent inserted. Sources close to Lohan tell us heart problems run in the family. We’re told doctors feel Lohan should have had the procedure six months ago, and that’s why he is in such bad condition today.

“Having trouble breathing and speaking”? I don’t know. I’m failing to see a problem here.

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Michael Lohan Was Drunk And High When He Was Arrested

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Hey, guys. It’s Michael Lohan. Lindsay’s dad. You can call me Mike. I go on talk shows a lot saying my daughter has a drug and alcohol problem. You know me, right? Yeah, so I was arrested the other day and the judge told me to “not even dream” of Kate Major, but look here, man. I’m gonna go get drunk and do some blow, then go stalk her. It’s cool. I’ll just jump three stories and hide in a tree when the cops come. Don’t even worry about it.
Just hours after being released from a two day jail stint and being admonished by a judge not to “even dream” about Major, Michael repeatedly contacted her via phone according to the police report obtained by RadarOnline.com. When officers arrived at the motel where Lindsay Lohan’s father was staying, they were initially unable to locate him, but while they were in the parking lot they spotted him. “I saw a subject on the second floor hiding behind a pillar,” the police report states. “I yelled the def’s name and told him to come down and talk. This def tried concealing himself a little more but decided to run up a stairwell as we approached him. “As we went out to the balcony to look around, we saw the def fall from a 3rd floor balcony next to the one we were standing on. The def apparently leaped up from his balcony and grabbed a hold of the roof. He then must have scurried across the roof (about 30 feet) until he thought he was hanging over top of the next balcony. The def then let go but missed this balcony. “He came crashing down on top of wooden high chairs that were laying on the ground. This fall was 34 feet (measured with laser). The def then hid in some trees directly below where he was apprehended. Michael’s fall wasn’t without consequences, according to the police officer. “The def’s mouth was full of blood from where he bit his tongue. He also injured his foot. The Tampa Police report also stated that Michael had “Consumed Alcohol and Drugs.”

I’ve tried to wrap my head around this story since yesterday, but I finally gave up because you really can’t explain or understand what a sociopath does. I haven’t checked, but is there a more fucked up family than the Lohan’s? There can’t be, right? If I find out tomorrow that Ali Lohan is just Dina in the skin of hitchhiker she and Lindsay killed so they could steal her identity and take out a line of credit, I would have fully expected it.

Note: Yes, that’s Miranda Kerr in a bra in the banner pic instead of Michael Lohan. Are we even having this discussion right now?

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Michael Lohan Tried To Escape, Fell Into A Tree, Got Arrested Again

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This is what my grandfather used to call “stuck on stupid”. TMZ reports:

Michael Lohan was just arrested AGAIN in Florida after allegedly contacting his GF Kate Major — and law enforcement tells TMZ, he tried to escape by jumping a 3rd-story balcony … and accidentally fell into a tree. According to law enforcement sources, Tampa police responded to a call early this morning from Kate, who claimed Michael had been trying to contact her by phone and wouldn’t leave her alone. We’re told officers interviewed Kate at her apartment after she made the call — the same apartment where Michael allegedly bruised her up earlier this week — and while they were there, Michael allegedly called again. According to law enforcement, officers believed Michael was a “threat” — so they rolled up to his hotel to arrest him. But here’s the crazy part — law enforcement tells TMZ, Michael tried to escape by hopping his 3rd story balcony … and he ended up falling into a tree. After officers pulled him down, Michael was placed under arrest for violating a condition of his pretrial release (presumably for contacting Kate) … and resisting arrest without violence. Michael is currently back in custody — at the same jail he was released from less than twelve hours ago.

5:30 AM — Michael is currently in the hospital getting a possible foot injury checked out.

6:08 AM — Kate Major has released a statement to TMZ … saying, “I am sick of being lied about by Michael Lohan Sr.’s false allegations about his continual physical and mental abuse toward me.”

“Obviously the judge was correct when questioning if he could ‘read.'”

She adds, “He has no regard for the justice system. He can beat up women but Mr. tough guy who slurred his words calling me 5 times after getting out of jail wasn’t too tough by jumping off a 3rd floor balcony into a tree to try to flee from going back to the same jail he just got released from less than 12 hours ago”

“Maybe they have phonics books in jail!”

At this point, if my name was Todd Lohan, I’d visit my nearest courthouse to see if I could change it to “Todd Van Der Sloot” or “Todd Chris Brown Childrapistserialkiller”. You know, just so I wouldn’t have to live with that shame.

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Lindsay Lohan Has A Great Dad

Michael Lohan was released from jail. Wonder what made him mad enough to hit his girlfriend? TMZ reports:

Michael Lohan was released from jail moments ago in Florida — after allegedly bruising up his GF Kate Major in a domestic dispute Tuesday — but Lindsay’s dad insists, “I did not lay a hand on her.” TMZ posted the pictures yesterday … showing what Major claims are bruises inflicted by Michael during the incident — when Michael allegedly flipped on her for refusing to perform oral sex on him.

I don’t know why Kate Major is complaining. Unless she refused to blow him because she was too busy making him a sandwich, she pretty much had it coming.

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Michael Lohan Got Arrested

Oh, and he had chest pains. TMZ says:

Michael Lohan is cooling his ass in a Tampa jail this morning after getting arrested on suspicion of domestic violence charges.Tampa Police arrested Lindsay Lohan’s dad at 1:10AM ET after they responded to reports of a fight between Michael and a live-in girlfriend. Law enforcement sources confirm it was Lohan’s on again-off again GF Kate Major. Now this part is classic Lohan: We’re told Michael complained of chest pains when he was taken into custody — so police took him to a hospital. We’re told Michael was treated, and then was attempting to slip out of the hospital on his own — until an officer spotted him, hauled him down to jail and booked him for the alleged domestic violence. Tampa PD’s website lists him as still in custody. Michael was last arrested for domestic violence by LAPD back in March after an alleged fight with then-GF Kate Major. Interestingly, he also complained of chest pains during that arrest.

(more…)

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Michael Lohan: “She’s Smoking Either Crack Or Meth”

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Always ready to insert himself into anything dealing with his daughter by appearing in interviews for rent money, Michael Lohan was on Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell on HLN yesterday where he explained Lindsay Lohan probably needs more than a Crest Whitestrip. Radar Online reports:

“That’s from smoking a pipe with meth or crack,” Michael said about Lindsay’s brown teeth. When Velez-Mitchell asked him to clarify what he meant he point blank said his daughter is abusing illegal drugs. “She’s smoking either crack or meth, one or the other. I’m not going to shade it.” As RadarOnline.com exclusively reported, Lindsay skipped her court ordered shoplifting awareness class to have emergency dental surgery to fix her rotting teeth on October 14, just two days after appearing on the red carpet with her gnarly grill. “If you’re talking about prescription medication it would affect all your teeth, not just your two front teeth,” Michael said about his daughter’s dental issues. “You can’t dance with the devil and expect to go home with Jesus.”

You know, unless Jesus is a Mexican guy with crack or meth. Sorry to bring the room down by dissecting your analogy.

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