Paris Jackson Is 16 And Pregnant
Paris Jackson Is 16 And Pregnant

 

Her “dad” prefers 12 and molested.  ZING! Ooohh sick burn, Todd. Sick burn.

Pregnancy rumors are surrounding Michael Jackson’s 16-year-old daughter Paris today after paps caught her on a dinner date sporting what looked like a baby bump. A source was quoted by the Daily Star newspaper as saying: “I saw her at dinner and she twice made a toast drinking water instead of wine. That and the prominent stomach bulge got people talking.” News that the troubled star may be expecting her first child comes just days after she was reportedly spotted looking at engagement rings with her supposed boyfriend. 

Paris Jackson attempted suicide  14 months ago, so I’m sure bringing a baby into the world will fix all that. All of her childhood issues and mental health problems will vanish as soon as the she sees the baby. Because babies are precious blessings from Jesus who should never be killed before they’ve had the chance to turn 18 and join the military so they can die over there the way Jesus wanted.

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Michael Jackson Slept In His Own Piss, Hated Jews, Kept Used Baby Diapers In His Room
Michael Jackson Slept In His Own Piss, Hated Jews, Kept Used Baby Diapers In His Room

 

Man, can you even believe it? Another “Michael Jackson was sick, twisted, disgusting, vile monster passing as a human who can dance well”. This time, from five maids who worked at Neverland Ranch. Why haven’t you heard their stories before? Because when you’re scheduled to testify for the prosecution then Michael Jackson writes a check, there’s no need for you to testify. Anyway, Michael Jackson was worse than you could possibly imagine.

 

Michael Jackson enjoyed throwing  balls of animal shit at people and pissing.on the floor

Michael sometimes ran around where the animals were, and he’d track . . . poop throughout the house and think nothing of it,” Maid No. 1 recalled. “Then, if you said something, he’d threaten to make doo-doo snowballs and throw it at you.” When Oprah Winfrey visited the Los Olivos, California, ranch for an interview in 1993, it was pristine. Floors were waxed, walls scrubbed and windows power-washed. It was after she, guest Elizabeth Taylor and TV crews left the next morning that the real Jacko appeared. “He literally peed on the floor of the entryway, right where you saw Oprah walk in. It was surreal. He just stood there, unzipped his trousers and watered the floor,” Maid No. 2 said.

 

Paying a family $20 million for their silence after raping their son, doesn’t put you in a cleaning mood.

Jackson had been relatively clean and orderly up until 1993, when 13-year-old Jordan Chandler became the first child to publicly accuse Jacko of molestation….Jacko later paid Jordan and his parents more than $20 million in exchange for the boy’s silence. “His whole life changed after 1993 when he had to pay that boy off. I’m telling you, he was the dirtiest, most unsanitary person in Hollywood,” Maid No. 3 said.

Michael Jackson never wanted his sheets changed, because he was a sick pervert. And gross.

The maids described young guests tossing bottles and cans around the house. They would engage in hours-long food fights as well as pillow fights, which left feathers covering floors and furniture. Jacko would object to his sheets being changed. “There were many times I had to sneak in and change his linen. I couldn’t understand how he’d sleep in such filth,” Maid No. 2 said. “There’d be socks and underpants in the bed and half-eaten chicken and potato chips, empty bottles of wine and whiskey on the floor.“And you knew he wet himself — the place reeked.”

Michael Jackson’s house was infested and his bedroom was Ground Zero:

Maid No. 3 said Jacko’s bed, as well as a sofa in the living room, once became infested with bedbugs. “He said, ‘Get them the hell out of here. Call the exterminator,’ ” she recalled. “He said we should do a better job, and he said he knew that we came from poor countries so we were used to bedbugs, but he couldn’t live with them. “Everybody he brought in to clean, and sometimes we’d even get cleaning services to come in for the extra help. Everybody was repulsed. His bedroom smelled horrible. If everyone else was like me, they hated going in there.” After Jacko had son Prince in 1997, he began confining his squalor to his own bedroom, she said. “But, not too long afterwards, it was, ‘Here we go again, this man is ungodly.’ ”

Michael Jackson’s house was like if they did a To Catch A Predator/Hoarders crossover episode:

A pack rat in the true sense of the word,” Maid No. 1 said. “He’d keep all of these books that he never read, shirts, hats and other little trinkets that fans would give him, and they’d be in the dining room, the kitchen, all about the floors, and he’d complain if someone put them in a different place, and he’d complain if we didn’t pick them up. “The amount of stuff he had could have covered that entire ranch, and most of it was junk that he refused to part with.”…The most scurrilous item Jacko held on to? “I’d say there were two,” recalled Maid No. 2, who worked at Neverland from 1994 to 1996. “A soiled baby’s diaper, and a pair of Fruit of the Loom that was obviously worn by someone who was either a teen or an early-age adult.”

Michael Jackson thought Schindler’s List should have had an alternate ending. And alternate ending where all the Jews die.

He also kept a dartboard in the foyer of his bedroom with pictures of DreamWorks founders Steven Spielberg, David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg — who he believed had stolen his idea for the studio and even its boy-on-the-moon logo. “Any of the children he played with who hit the bull’s-eye would get extra ice cream or anything else they wanted,” said Maid No. 3, who worked from 1996 to 1999. “He hated those guys with a passion. He was surprisingly very anti-Semitic. He’d lead some of the kids in chants: ‘Kill the bastards,’ and ‘Kill the bloodsuckers.’ 

 

So, how are those Michael Jackon songs on your iTunes working out for you? Good, good. Did you know “Dirty Diana” was about a baby who needed her diaper changed? Cool. As long as you know.

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Michael Jackson Had Code Words When Molesting Children
Michael Jackson Had Code Words When Molesting Children

 

I think that thing is so his fingers wouldn’t get dirty during the  Neverland Ranch prostate exams.

 

For different reasons that us, Michael Jackson would be really upset over what Israel and Hammas are doing to all those children right now, and he also used different, creative words for semen and his dick. Mostly because he was an entertainer first and a child rapist second.

James Safechuck — now 36 — claims in his lawsuit against the MJ Estate … the singer started abusing him when he was 10 … when he traveled with Michael to Paris for the “Bad” tour in 1988. In new court docs — obtained by TMZ — Safechuck says Michael taught him to use code words … referring to his erection as “bright light, brick city” … and calling semen, “duck butter.” Safechuck claims Jackson also used secret signals — when they would hold hands, Michael would scratch the inside of James’ hand with a finger … to show he wanted to have sex. Safechuck says MJ wanted a full-blown relationship with him … to the point he performed a secret wedding ceremony with the boy with wedding ring and a marriage certificate. He also describes how Michael would take him to various homes — including a place called “The Hideout” in Century City — where they would drink sweet, pink wine and watch porn … including movies of children masturbating. Safechuck says at one point … he questioned his own sexuality — because he also had a crush on Sheryl Crow, who was one of Jackson’s backup singers. He says Michael found out and became jealous … showing him unflattering pics of Crow without makeup.

Michael Jackson was a pioneer and innovator, so now I will only refer to semen now as “duck butter”. What I won’t do, however, is rape little boys like Michael Jackson did. If you want to sit here and say he didn’t because you like his music, then you’re part of the reason he was allowed to freely and openly prey on children without facing any semblance of justice for his crimes. So while you’re listening to his greatest hits today, please realize that music you love so much from your childhood was made by Jerry Sandusky with a bigger bank account. Happy Hump Day, which coincidentally, was Michael Jackson’s favorite day of the week.

 

 

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Let’s Talk About That Michael Jackson Hologram
Let’s Talk About That Michael Jackson Hologram

 

I didn't watch the Billboard Music Awards last night, because not only do I have a modicum of self-respect, but that shit's just lame. Anyway, I guess the big thing that happened last night was a child molester being raised from the dead to "perform" his new "song" from his new "album". That hologram child molester being of course Michael Jackson. I hate to be the one to point this out, but Michael Jackson is dead. He's dead and he's never coming back. He's not going to release a new album no matter how much his family wants to squeeze every last dime they can from his corpse. This abomination was a creepy attempt for ratings, it wasn't some history making "performance" no matter how much you try to spin it. Sorry. If they really wanted to honor Michael Jackson, they would have given everybody in the audience anesthesia and a 7-year old to sit in their lap.

 

 

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Justin Bieber Has A Firm Grip On Reality
Justin Bieber Has A Firm Grip On Reality

 

There's a lot of things Justin Bieber could have said after his DUI arrest. Things he could have said to influence his millions of tween stans who still don't understand what's going on between their legs when he posts a shirtless selfie. Things like, oh I don't know, "sorry for being a douche"? "Don't drink and drive it's dumb"? "If you respect me and idolize me, please realize that I'm human and the horrific decision I made to have fun could have cost someone their lives and for that I am I am terribly sorry and eternally regretful"? But no. No, that's not what he did. Instead, he posted this picture on Instagram. This picture. This picture that compares himself to Michael Jackson with the caption. "What more can they say?". Ooooh, glad you asked. First, you're an idiot. Not sure if you're aware. Second, comparing the freedom of a child molestor who was only free because of his substantial wealth and means to silence his victims and his victims' parents with stacks of hundreds dipped in gold allowed him to be ranks in the top three of stupid ass shit you've done this month. Third, your mom is really ugly. I'm not entirely sure what that has to do with all this, but I just felt the need to say it since we're all being honest. It's an open and sincere, dialogue. There's no rules here. I will now pass the talking pillow to Jamie. Jamie comes to us from Chicago. Jamie, whenever you're ready.

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Michael Jackson Had A Sex Alarm To Tell Him When Adults Were Nearby
Michael Jackson Had A Sex Alarm To Tell Him When Adults Were Nearby

 

"Bring me the kiiiiidddd that is not my son." – Michael Jackson

 

In the latest "Michael Jackson was a depraved and diabolical child molestor" news, Jackson apparently had an alarm that warned him if any adult was in a 30 feet radius when he having sex with a kid. Cool. TMZ reports:

Michael Jackson went to great lengths to avoid being caught sexually abusing children … even installing an alarm to warn him whenever someone was approaching his bedroom — so claims Wade Robson in his latest complaint against the singer's estate. Robson just filed an amended complaint, claiming the alarm would go off whenever someone came within 30 feet of Jackson's room. Robson claims Jackson also hung a "Do Not Disturb" sign on his bedroom door.

For an unapologetic drug addict, Michael Jackson sure did plan ahead. Although it's hard not to see irony of him hanging the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the wrong thing.

Note: If you want to feel more creeped out and disgusted, read this.

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Wade Robson Said Michael Jackson Had Sex With Him When He Was 7
Wade Robson Said Michael Jackson Had Sex With Him When He Was 7

 

Wade Robson, a choreographer who has worked with Britney Spears and N'Sync and was a judge on So You Think You Can Dance?, is suing the Jackson estate claming sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of the King Of Molestation, Michael Jackson, over a period of seven years starting in 1990 when Robson was just 7 years old. Radar Online has a portion of the court documents. Try not to vomit.

In the declaration, Robson revealed the 13-time Grammy Award-winner suggested to him: “People are ignorant and they would never understand that we love each other and this is how we show it. If anyone were to ever find out, OUR lives and career would be over.”….“During our stay in Los Angeles, I met Doe 1 [Jackson] at a recording studio in Van Nuys, California. During our meeting, Doe 1 invited me and my whole family to spend the weekend at his Santa Barbara County ranch, Neverland Valley Ranch. My family stayed the weekend at the ranch, but then left me alone with Doe for another week. ”On the first night at Neverland, Robson and sister Chantal both slept in Jackson’s bedroom — in the same bed as the adult singer — it’s claimed. But the following night, “Chantal expressed concern about sleeping in Doe 1′s bed and elected instead to sleep in a separate bed on a different floor of Doe’s two-floor bedroom.” Robson, though, opted to sleep in Jackson’s bed again. That’s when Robson’s lifelong nightmare was said to have begun. “Doe 1 began sexually abusing me on or about that night,” Robson told court. “The sexual abuse continued every night through the nearly two weeks that I spent at the ranch during that early 1990 visit as well as at Doe 1′s apartment in the Westwood section of Los Angeles before my family and I returned to Australia.” Specific allegations of abuse were heavily redacted from Robson’s filing. In one section alone, seven lines of alleged abuse were blacked out by the Los Angeles probate court in order to protect Robson’s privacy.…That wasn’t the end of the abuse, he said. Between the ages of seven and nine, Robson and his mother Joy traveled to the United States from their hometown of Brisbane on two occasions.“One trip was for one week and the other was for six weeks,” Robson said. “During these trips, my mother would stay in a hotel while I stayed with Doe 1 in his bedroom and in his bed. The sexual abuse continued every night we were together. “It was during these years that my ‘God’ became my ‘friend’ and told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me.” Shedding light on their apparent and illicit bond, Robson said Jackson — who died at age 50 from an overdose of surgical anesthetic proposal — “encouraged” him to call him ‘Dad’ and he would, in turn, call Robson his ‘Son’.

A lot of people are calling bullshit on this story, because in the 2005 The People vs. Michael Jackson trial, Robson testified in Jackson's defense. Well, here's why.

Now, Robson has alleged that Jackson “coached” him “every day” to provide certain statements against claims of molestation, beginning with the Jordy Chandler case in September 1993. “He would tell me that our phones were tapped and ‘they’ were listening to everything we said,” Robson said of private conversations with Jackson. “He would role play with me and say to me, ‘They are saying we did all of this disgusting sexual stuff. We never did any of that, right?’ I would play along and answer, ‘No way!’ He would say, ‘If they believed that we did any of this sexual stuff, YOU AND I would go to jail for the rest of our lives. Our lives and careers would be over. We’ve got to fight this. We’ve got to beat them together." Jackson selected, hired and paid for the lawyer who represented Robson in relation to his testimony to the grand jury in the Chandler case, it was also revealed. Then, when Jackson was criminally charged in 2005, he again, allegedly, began to coach Robson. “Doe 1 [Jackson] called me constantly and coached me by acting out similar role play as he did with me in 1993 when I was 11, telling me such things as, ‘They are making up all these lies about you and I. They are trying tying to take US down, take away my power and money, take away our careers. We can’t let them do this. We have to fight them together.’”

Oh, and in case you already didn't know Michael Jackson's type, now you know:

The pair, Robson claimed, would also watch explicit adult pornography in the form of magazines, books and videos — until it all stopped at age 14. That was when Robson began to show signs of puberty — and “the sexual abuse by Decedent [Jackson] became less frequent,” charged the court documents.

Michael Jackson really should have joined the priesthood, because at least then the Vatican could have funded all his payoffs instead of him spending the majority of his adult like a good chunk of his money trying to plug all the holes he previously pulled out of. Yes, Michael Jackson could dance. Yes, he could sing. He was also a child raping predator who needed horse tranquilzers to sleep because he couldn't he couldn't live with all the horrific things he did. I know, he didn't have a childhood. A lot of people didn't. But instead of an ice cream truck or free candy, Michael Jackson built an amusement park and a zoo to lure children and had enough money leftover to pay their parents off when the children finally snapped awake and realized maybe the creepy dude in the mask shouldn't touch them like that. But whatever, he was a great performer, right? Did you see that one video?! And that one dance he did?! Man, that was pretty cool!

 

Take it away, Mike. Sha-mon:

 

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Michael Jackson’s Dad Had A Stroke



Joe Jackson, the father of a lot of Jacksons and the inspiration to the hundreds of moms on Toddlers & Tiaras, suffered a stroke yesterday. TMZ reports:

Joe Jackson has suffered a stroke — and is currently being treated at a hospital. A source close to the family tells TMZ, Michael Jackson’s father suffered a “mini-stroke” last night. He was transported to a hospital, where he’s still being treated. Details surrounding the medical emergency are unclear, as well as how serious the actual stroke was.

Based on every TV movie I’ve seen, all I really know about Joe Jackson wasn’t really a nice guy and had an afro for the majority of his life. Maybe I shouldn’t be allowed to write his obituary.

Now some mandatory Michael Jackson to start your morning. I still probably wouldn’t let his ghost around kids, but just enjoy yourself.

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Michael Jackson Slept With A Baby Doll And Wet The Bed A Lot

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It’s black. It’s white. It’s also apparently yellow. Shamon. You know it. New York Post reports:

Michael Jackson not only slept with a baby doll — he also regularly “peed the bed,” Conrad Murray alleges in the documentary “Michael Jackson and the Doctor: A Fatal Friendship.” In the documentary, Murray reveals Jackson regularly “peed the bed.” “The bedroom that he slept in I had to persuade him, eventually to have it cleaned,” Murray said in the film. “He peed the bed. It did not smell good. It was mildew, and I had to get it clean.” Murray said Jackson urinating in the bed may have had to do with psychological issues saying, “Who would ever believe that a man his age would still be wetting his bed?” In the doc, Murray also claims that Jackson referred to propofol, the anesthesia believed to have killed him, as “milk.”

I really can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m pretty sure Kim Kardashian just came.

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I’m Starting With The Man On The Gurney

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I’m asking him to stop raping kids……

Dr. Conrad Murray‘s manslaughter trial is still going on, because apparently the people of California want to know how Michael Jackson died. I know. Me too. Because how could an anesthetized zombie and drug addict with parts missing from his face be taken from us so suddenly without warning? It’s a mystery. It’s obvious someone killed him. Anyway, here’s the King of Popsicles For Little Boys dead and naked on a gurney. That seems like it would be the perfect time to challenge him to a dance off.

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