Michael Fassbender Is Probably Your Next James Bond Maybe Who Knows
Michael Fassbender Is Probably Your Next James Bond Maybe Who Knows

 

Although I’d much rather see Idris Elba as 007 (yes, I know Idris Elba isn’t white much like I know Scarlett Johansson isn’t Asian), it looks like Michael Fassbender will probably be the next James Bond. Read this first, then feel free to type angry in the comments about that whole Scarlett Johansson thing.

James Norton and Michael Fassbender are the frontrunners to become the next James Bond in the week Daniel Craig became the second longest-serving 007. Craig has starred as the spy in four films over more than 11 years, although is it not known if he will continue in the franchise. His last outing as Bond was in 2015’s Spectre, but shortly after its release he said he would rather “slash my wrists” than appear in another film as the secret agent. According to bookmakers Coral, betting has surged on Norton or Fassbender taking over from Craig.

Fassbender has straight up said in interviews that he doesn’t want to play James Bond at all, but I’m sure if they come with enough Bond money, he’d play James Bond and any other Bond they’d like him to play. Maybe JaMarcus Bond. If dude can play a guy in a purple helmet and cape, he can’t be above playing a spy on a yacht who drowns in pussy.



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Michael Fassbender Is Playing Steve Jobs

 

Based on a tweet by Time‘s Alex Fitzpatrick, Aaron Sorkin wrote a Steve Jobs biopic that got picked up by Universal and Michael Fassbender will be playing, well, Steve Jobs. I really don’t see the resemblance, and this kinda looks like Lifetime did the casting, but at least it’s not Ashton Kutcher again. Fassbender plays sociopaths better, so maybe this could work.

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McAvoy and Fassbender Doing Stewart And McKellan Impressions Is The Greatest

 

There's really not much I can say about this video of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender doing Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan impressions except that it is great.So great that I watched it twice. To make you understand what that mean, a chick just walked into the coffee shop in yoga shorts and I only looked at her once.

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Jennifer Lawrence Is Having Trouble Walking Because She Got Fassenbendered



Watching Michael Fassenbender in Shame was the first time I ever considered buying penis enlargement pills, so If Jennifer Lawrence accepts her Oscar with a limp, you’ll know this story is legit. Huffington Post Celebrity reports:

“Michael and Jennifer were locked in conversation for a long time, he was charming the pants off her,” an eyewitness at the party told Radar. “And even when she was talking to other people at the after party, Jennifer couldn’t keep her eyes off Michael.” The 35-year-old star of “Shame” and the 22-year-old “Silver Linings Playbook” Oscar contender first met while filming “X-Men: First Class,” which is coincidently where Lawrence met her ex-boyfriend Nicholas Hoult, whom she dated for two years. But now that Jen is single and clearly ready to mingle, she’s lucky to be filming the X-Men sequel, “X-Men: Days of Future Past,” with Fassbender.

I don’t know the plot of X-Men: Days of Future Past, but I hear they’re doing rewrites so Mystique can travel to the future so she can get vaginal reconstruction surgery.

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Prometheus Looks Like A Good Movie

Ridley Scott‘s new alien/robot/space film premiered in London last night and Michael Fassbender turned up looking a bit rough. With that in mind, I probably should have lead this post with a picture of Charlize Theron looking smoking hot, but like our friends over at Celebitchy I have an huge obsession with this man. You get enough hot women on this site; let’s take a minute to look into Fassy’s eyes. Then let’s think about how his current girlfriend obviously isn’t good enough since she let him leave the house looking like this. It’s okay, Fassy. Once you’re with me we can burn that stupid textured tie together. Right after all the sex.

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Brad Pitt Is Finally Pretty Sure Angelina Jolie Is The One

And it only took one broken marriage, seven years, and six kids.

TMZ reports:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are finally engaged — this according to Brad’s rep.

Brad’s manager Cynthia Pett-Dante released a statement confirming the engagement, but says there’s no wedding date yet — as of now, the engagement is simply a “promise for the future.”

Angelina was photographed on Wednesday wearing what appears to be her engagement ring. Click here for the photo.

So why this show of commitment now? Brad and Angelina always said they wouldn’t get married until gay marriage was legal, but then their kids are too young to understand the complex realities surrounding basic civil rights. So the official word is they are doing this because the (more…)

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I Guess We Can Rule Out Michael Fassbender As The Father



At least one guy from the X-Men: First Class set, Michael Fassbender, won’t be invited to a taping of Maury once January Jones has her baby. That’s because he was banging Zoe Kravitz on the set of X-Men: First Class. Us Magazine reports:
Ready for another Hollywood super couple? X-Men: First Class costars Zoe Kravitz, 22, and Michael Fassbender, 34, couldn’t keep their hands off each other during a romantic stroll through NYC’s West Village on Sunday. Earlier that morning, the two had brunch with a handful of friends, including Kravitz’ ex, actor Ben Foster, 30. Though the costars began dating while filming the Marvel flick in 2010, this is the first time the two have been photographed together (excluding promotional appearances). So what stopped them from going public sooner? “They’re really low-key, but they have a great time together just talking music or movies,” a source tells Us Weekly. “They really didn’t want to be a topic of conversation during the press for X-Men.” As for their 12-year age difference, the source tells Us that “Zoe’s really mature for her age in that she has very strong opinions and she is very confident in herself. Most people are shocked to learn she’s so young; she doesn’t really bring it up and age would never stop her from dating anybody.”

As expected, Zoe Kravitz looks like Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet had a kid. I mean, she’s cute and all, but put her in a scarf and a motorcycle jacket and it would be really hard not to question your sexuality. Because her dad wears scarves and motorcycle jackets. And she looks like her dad. So if she put on a scarf and a motorcycle jacket then she would look like her dad even more. And her dad is a man. Then if you wanted to have sex with her when she was dressed like that then you would have to question your sexuality, especially if she was playing a guitar, see because then she would look like a man then that would mean you might think you’re gay and things would get kinda weird and…I’m talking in circles again aren’t I? Oh, fuck you. Whatever. You know what I mean.

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