Michael Bay Body Shamed Kate Beckinsale
Michael Bay Body Shamed Kate Beckinsale


We can debate the hotness of Ashley Graham all day, but not Kate Beckinsale. Never Kate Beckinsale. We’ve all seen Underworld. Saying Kate Beckinsale isn’t hot is  just not something one does. Except I guess Michael Bay who did it repeatedly while promoting Pearl Harbor.  Roger Ebert said it was, “redundant special effects, surrounded by a love story of stunning banality”. He probably just copied and pasted that into every Michael Bay movie review. Take it away, Kate:

“I don’t think I fitted the type of actress Michael Bay the director had met before,” she shared. “I think he was baffled by me because my boobs weren’t bigger than my head and I wasn’t blonde. “I’d just had my daughter and had lost weight, but was told that if I got the part, I’d have to work out. And I just didn’t understand why a 1940s nurse would do that.

Then this bullshit.

“And then, when we were promoting the film…when he was asked about me, he’d say, ‘Kate wasn’t so attractive that she would alienate the female audience’ “He kept saying it everywhere we went, and we went to a lot of places.”

I probably shouldn’t say this, but I have a friend in LA with boobs bigger than her head (and three successful businesses) who went on a date with Michael Bay once. It was once, because apparently he talked about his car the whole time and told the wait staff (repeatedly) how lucky they were to have him dining in their establishment. What’s that all about? 



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Michael Bay Is Great Without A Teleprompter

 

Michael Bay was the featured speaker for Samsung TV at the CES convention yesterday, and apparently being asked simple questions without pre-written text scrolling in front of him caused his brain to reboot putting him in safe mode off stage. Samsung probably should have gone with a model from the Tyrell Corporation. "More human than human" that's their motto.

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Michael Bay Got Attacked On The Set Of ‘Transformers 4’

You'd think after filming Transformers 4 for weeks in Chicago that Michael Bay would have been shot in the face or beheaded or whatever happens in that war zone, hell hole disguised as a major city with an inferiority complex, but it took a city with five million more people to try put an end to Michael Bay movies. Thanks, Hong Kong. Reuters reports:

Two brothers surnamed Mak, aged 27 and 28, approached Bay on the set during filming for the American science fiction film and the younger brother demanded payment of HK$100,000 ($12,900), a police spokeswoman told Reuters. It was not immediately clear why the money was requested. As a discussion ensued in a busy area of Hong Kong island, the elder Mak walked up and assaulted the director, the spokeswoman said. The elder brother then attacked three police officers who tried to intervene, she added. The younger brother was arrested on suspicion of blackmail and assault, while the elder Mak was also arrested on suspicion of assault, she said. Bay sustained injuries to the right side of his face, although he declined to seek treatment, the spokeswoman said, adding she did not believe his injuries were serious. Filming continued after the dispute. Bay was not available for comment. When Reuters visited the scene after the assault, the film crew and others working on the set declined to comment.

We shouldn't condone violence in any way, but we all agree that extreme measures must be taken to keep Transformers 5 from being made. We get it. They're talking robots from space that are also cars. Read that last sentence. Four movies have been made based on that premise. Sit back. Let that sink in.

 

 

Note: When I typed "Michael Bay" into WENN's search bar, these pictures of Jennifer Nicole Lee came up, so my picture selection really wasn't that hard of a decision.

 

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Michael Bay Is Only Good At One Thing. This Is It.

 

Look, we all hate Michael Bay, and just to let you know that your hatred is warranted and valid, I have a friend who used to date him. And without getting too specific, he's apparently the most horrible person walking the face of th Earth. That being said, DAMN SON. He can kick kittens all day and I'd be okay with it as long as he got to direct every Victoria's Secret commercial until he died. Then we could ressurect him so he could keep directing Victoria's Secret commercials. I'm sorry, my penis was pretty clear about all this.

 

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Megan Fox Is In Michael Bay’s TMNT Reboot



Remember in 2010 when Megan Fox was fired from The Transformers franchise because she said Michael Bay was Hitler and a nightmare to work for? She must have handwashed his Ferrari naked this time. Deadline reports:

Looks like Michael Bay doesn’t hold a grudge. He’s just announced via his blog that Megan Fox will star in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the live-action/CGI feature from producer Bay, his Platinum Dunes and Paramount. Jonathan Liebesman is directing.

A friend of mine used to date Michael Bay, and apparently every “Michael Bay is a raging asshole with God complex” story you’ve ever read is absolutely true. But let’s not let that fact make us forget that someone is making a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. And that another person gave it a budget of $125M. Suicide bombers make a lot more sense now, huh?

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Mark Wahlberg Is In Transformers 4

Despite shooting down an Internet rumor last week that Mark Wahlberg would star in Transformers 4, Michael Bay confirmed yesterday that Mark Wahlberg will star in Transformers 4. No word yet if he had to wash Bay's Ferrari in a bikini. E! Online news reports:

It looks like Mark Wahlberg made quite the impression on Michael Bay while working together on Pain and Gain, because the director has now announced that he's cast the actor in Transformers 4. "Mark is awesome. We had a blast working on Pain and Gain and I'm so fired up to be back working with him. An actor of his caliber is the perfect guy to re-invigorate the franchise and carry on the Transformers' legacy," Bay said.

So the worst actor of our generation to star in a movie made by the worst filmmaker of our generation. Awesome. Can't wait until it's #1 at the box office cuz 'Merica.

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Steven Spielberg Got Megan Fox Fired From Transformers

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Steven Spielberg made Jaws, E.T., Raiders of The Lost Ark, Jurassic Park, and Schindler’s List. But recently he made Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skulls, put up money for The Transformers franchise, and recently got a blowjob from J.J. Abrams in which he described as “super” and “a definite 8”. Now, Michael Bay reveals that Spielberg recent bad track record isn’t just an accident. The Daily Mail reports:

Steven Spielberg demanded Megan Fox be fired from the latest Transformers film after she insulted its director, it has been revealed. The Hollywood legend was outraged after the screen beauty compared Michael Bay to Hitler during a press interview. The 25-year-old actress was quickly dumped from the film and replaced by British model Rosie Huntington-Whitley. Fox had tried to claim she left the third in the series of the films to pursue other acting opportunities. But ahead of the July 4 premiere of Transformers 3 director Bay has revealed for the first time he was told to get rid of the actress. He said: ‘You know the Hitler thing. Steven (Spielberg) said, fire her right now.’

Uh oh. Somebody needs to put on his big boy Holocaust panties. But I guess if we’ve learned anything from this, it’s that the closest thing Megan Fox will get to Hollywood now is a Redbox.

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Michael Bay Is Being Sued

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Two men are suing director Michael Bay, not because they paid to see Transformers 2, because Bay’s bodyguard is a T-1000 when he drinks.

In a new lawsuit obtained by TMZ … Joshua Stewart and Paul Klimczak claim on August 24, 2008, they were at Kiss Nightclub when they got into a scuffle with a man they claim is Bay’s private security guard. According to the suit, the man was intoxicated … yet the club — also a defendant — continued to serve him alcohol. The suit claims club security kicked the plaintiffs out along with the security guard, placing them in close proximity with each other. The dispute continued outside the club when the plaintiffs claim they tried to just walk away. It was then, they say, when Bay’s security guard struck them in the head with a handgun, rendering both of them unconscious. The plaintiffs were taken by ambulance to a hospital, where they were treated for broken teeth, broken bones, facial contusions and other injuries. They say Bay’s security guard left the scene. The suit, which seeks unspecified damages, does not reveal what started the fight.

This happened in 2008, so these guys had two years to come up with a better story than this. It should have included an actual Decepticon or a boxing kangaroo because getting pistol whipped by the guy who protects the dude who directed Armageddon probably isn’t something you’d wanna tell people.

Note: Is it me or does Michael Bay look like he should be playing keytar in a Phil Collins cover band?

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Maybe Megan Fox Was Right



A lot has been made of Megan Fox’s departure of Transformers 3. Some blame it on her being a raging cunt who whines and complains about the slightest inconvenience, other say “Transformers? Do what now?” That one gay dude said:

“Megan only got $800,000 for Transformers 2,” claims a robot-flick insider very familiar with Fox’s personal and professional dealings. “I heard her say she only got $800,000 several times, and, I guarantee you, that’s why she didn’t do the third one. She wanted more money.” While Megan may not have been paid equal to, say, Shia LaBeouf, another source tells us the money stuff isn’t true. “She got paid way more than that,” says a close Fox friend and ally. “This was never about money. It’s always been how she was treated as a human being, it just wasn’t good.” No discrepancy on that from our Transformers source—like, at all: “[Megan] would constantly complain about having to go to work, she never wanted to do it,” dishes the franchise know-it-all. “Bay would constantly scream at her. He would scream at everyone, but especially Megan. Imagine a really, really bitchy grandmother on the set, and that’s what Michael Bay is like.” Calls to reps for both Bay and Fox have not been returned, as yet. M.B. certainly has the reputation around town of being very hard to work for, especially if you’re a woman. Our Transformers insider says Megan told him: “All [Bay] wants to do is shoot my ass and my tits, I hate him!'” While Megan’s mouthing-off ways may helped seal her Transformers 3 fate, our Fox insider adds Megan would have “never” gone back, anyway. “Not the way she was treated.”

I believe anything a hot chick tells me, so screw you Michael Bay. Although, all I want to do is shoot on her tits and ass, so I might not be the most qualified to present a valid argument.

Megan Fox’s tits in Jennifer’s Body:

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Michael Bay Did Something Right



Michael Bay’s Victoria’s Secret commercial hit online today, and besides casting Megan Fox to wear cut off shorts and a tank top, this is probably the best work he’s ever done. But I don’t want to sound like I’m giving him credit. To reiterate, it’s Michael Bay. A circus seal could bounce a camera on his head for two hours and when you played it back it would be, at worst, better than Armageddon and Transformers 2.

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