Megan Fox Got Hit By A Drunk Driver

I was nervous when I saw this on TMZ because I thought Megan Fox would more plastic surgery. Whew.

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green had a rough Thursday night, when they were sideswiped near Mulholland Drive by a drunk driver. We’re told Brian was driving a Range Rover at 9:30 PM when a Mini Cooper going in the opposite direction crossed over the yellow line and somewhat violently sideswiped them … enough to blow a tire. The Mini Cooper spun around and eventually stopped. Brian called the cops, they came and arrested the Mini driver. Our law enforcement sources say the 35-year-old guy was twice the legal limit.

Well, I’m glad she’s ok and isn’t dead. That would have made me sad. Oh, and Brian Austin Green is totally fine as well, and that really should be expected since Megan has willingly allowed him to impregnate her twice so luck has clearly been on his side for a while now.

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Megan Fox Is Still Promoting TMNT

TMNT has been out for like, what, a year? It feels like a year. On the brightside, Germans like weird, dumb shit, so I guess it was a good business move to have Megan Fox go promote the weird, dumb shit over there. On another brightside, she looked super hot and the Panthers came back from 14 points down to beat the Bears by 7 yesterday. Not sure what that last part has to do with anything, but I didn’t want to talk about TMNT anymore.

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Megan Fox Is Still Promoting This Crap

Megan Fox is in Sydney, and she’s running out of continents to promote the cinematic abortion that was TMNT, so hopefully we’ve reached the end of this bullshit. They drink a lot of beer in Australia and great white sharks take walks on the beach and stuff there, so hopefully their citizens won’t be too scared of this movie. You know what they won’t be scared of though? Megan Fox in this dress.  Good lawd. And she has her hair in one of those French braid things. I would type more but my penis just hit me with an uppercut. Sometimes he doesn’t know his own strength.

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Megan Fox Is An Elite Athlete
Megan Fox Is An Elite Athlete

 

Megan Fox is in South Korea right now (which should scare the living hell out of her husband) promoting the abomination called TMNT, and while she was there, she threw out the first pitch for the LG Twins/Doosan Bears game. This is basically just a post to see Megan Fox bent over. I feel like I should be honest with you all.

 

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Megan Fox Doesn’t Care If You Like ‘TMNT’

 

*Candid pic of Megan Fox seeing my penis for the first time*

 

 I’m not going to lie to you, this is just an excuse to post Megan Fox pictures. But, like, you probably already knew that. Anyway, if you don’t like TMNT, Megan Fox gives no damns.

“Let me tell you something about those people,” said Fox. “How much money did Transformers 4 make? Exactly. Those people can complain – they all go to the theatre. They’re gonna love it – and if they don’t love it, they can fuck off, and that’s the end of that.”

My never ending love for Megan Fox is due to stuff like this, because not only is she wearing this dress, she just explained America. We spend a lot of money on bullshit then cram it down the world’s throat and if they don’t like it, they can fuck off. This is America. We’re the best! lol jk not really

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Megan Fox Is In Mexico

 

Not sure if Mexicans like CGI turtles who know karate or not, but Megan Fox in this dress is a universal language.  Mexicans get a lot of functioning erections because they’re ranked #1 globally in the Catholic competitive breeding rankings, so Megan Fox might be pregnant again right now. We just don’t know.

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Megan Fox Went To Comic Con

 

Since Hollywood is intent on just remaking superhero movies and 80s cartoons, a convention that draws grown adults who wear costumes has now become legitimized, because since they don’t have to worry about sex, nerds have a lot of disposable income to spend on movie tickets and the tie-in toys. Enter Comic Con. And Megan Fox attending because she’s in a movie about talking turtles who enjoy karate and pizza. Anyway, Megan Fox looked like this when she showed up. If you went to Comic Con, and want to leave a comment on this, I’d rather talk to your grandmother if i can be honest. She should know what’s happening with her data plan.

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Megan Fox Looked Like This At The Kid’s Choice Awards

 If the four pages of pictures of Megan Fox at the Kid’s Choice Awards are any indication, this piece of ass is incapable of taking a bad picture. I know what you’re saying. “But, Todd. What about her thumbs?”. A good test to see if you’re gay or not is to say that out loud to anybody standing near you while showing them these pictures. Don’t be surprised if Bryan Singer pokes you on Facebook and asks if you wanna see his hot tub, you know, because you’re obviously really gay.

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Hey Boo
Hey Boo

 

Nobody has stepped in to stop this Ninja Turtles movie from happening yet, so now it's time to promote it, and what better what way than Megan Fox's hot ass suggestively pulling up her dress on the cover of a magazine that hates women for than the Supreme Court? She does an interview where she wants women to own their sexuality or whatever (we still need to tell women that?), but she also says her perfect date is "sushi and third base" and that she owns a bunch of La Perla. Not sure how I'm going to kill Brian Austin Green yet since 90210 did a pretty good job of that already.

 

Megan Fox Cosmo

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