Megan Fox Can Hear Dead Babies Playing With Live Dogs Or Something
Megan Fox Can Hear Dead Babies Playing With Live Dogs Or Something



While we’re waiting for Sanders to convince all the superdelegates he called corrupt to join him because he has the best chance to beat Trump even though he couldn’t beat Clinton (should be any day now), here’s Megan Fox on Chelsea telling Chelsea Handler that her aborted baby plays with the dog who was given to Chelsea by another ghost family member. Now that’s how you do a fucking run on sentence. Respect. I don’t really have much to add besides the fact that Megan Fox is the level of hot where she can walk around saying shit like this and people smile and applaud.







[h/t The Superficial ]

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Megan Fox Is In A Mobile Video Game Called “Stormfall: Rise of Balur”
Megan Fox Is In A Mobile Video Game Called “Stormfall: Rise of Balur”


“Stormfall: Rise of Balur” . Sounds like the album title of a band with a chick lead singer who couldn’t make it in opera and dude singer who screams and plays 8-minute guitar solos that should have ended 7 minutes ago. The album also has under 50 views on Soundcloud. But it’s not. It’s a video game you can play on your mobile device. Anyway, I guess it’s popular enough for them to afford Megan Fox to dress up in leather and carry an axe. 

Mobile and web-based game developer Plarium today announced that it’s partnered with Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles actress Megan Fox for the studio’s online RPG, the medieval-themed Stormfall: Rise of Balur. Fox plays the character Amelia Delthanis, the Captain of the High Council Guard. According to the Stormfall fiction, Delthanis is “fierce” and has a “strong-willed demeanor.” At a young age, she walked away from her “highborn upbringing” and became a warrior. Delthanis is the player’s mentor and guide in Stormfall, providing instructions and an overview for the game.

They definitely got “Amelia Delthanis” off some character name randomizer. But again, Megan Fox in wearing some kind of leather outfit and carrying an axe. No real complaints here. 


#tbt. 


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Well Played, Brian Austin Green

Megan Fox kinda let everybody know who her baby daddy was last week, and it’s Brian Austin Green. Brian Austin Green. He gets to blow in Megan Fox and cash an alimony check. We probably shouldn’t make fun of him anymore. He’s smart enough to know that taking a hormonal and hungry pregnant lady to the farmer’s market is always a good choice. Her ass and boobs look to be twice their normal size. Maybe we should start considering making Brian Austin Green Day a federally recognized holiday. 

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Megan Fox Doesn’t Need Maury
 

#notthefather

A photo posted by Megan Fox (@the_native_tiger) on



Yeah, so yesterday we all learned that Megan Fox is pregnant with her third kid. Then we saw all the speculation that came with that, so Megan Fox posted this on Instagram to clear up any confusion. The good news is that my picture isn’t up there so you never know. The bad news is that she was out with Brian Austin Green yesterday. So he’s probably the dad. Or me. It could still be me. My semen is sentient and has the power to travel great distances.

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Megan Fox Is Pregnant With Her Third Kid
Megan Fox Is Pregnant With Her Third Kid


The news that Megan Fox is pregnant with her third child (her oldest is 3) was timestamped “9:11” in my newsfeed. Sometimes the universe knows. When’s it gonna be my time? Where’s my piece of the pie? 

(more…)

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Megan Fox Doesn’t Let Her Kids Use Technology, Shits On ‘Jonah Hex’
Megan Fox Doesn’t Let Her Kids Use Technology, Shits On ‘Jonah Hex’


Megan Fox just enrolled her kids in a school that’s technology-free, and she won’t let them use the Internet or have things that connect to the Internet at home, because it apparently “interferes with the brain development”.  I guess any parent is allowed to use that phrase if it isn’t proceeded by the phrase “a MMR vaccine”. Her kids will just hate her, they won’t die so it’s all good. It also seems like she’s doing this whole thing so her kids will never be able to see Jonah Hex

“It would be nice to make some things that they can see, yeah, because something like Jennifer’s Body I’m not going to let them see for a long time. Something like Jonah Hex I’m not going to let them see ever, no one should ever see that movie.”

It makes you remember how bad Jonah Hex was when the woman saying this is saying it while promoting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. The first one came out during a May and that had Megan Fox still promoting it overseas the following October while they were already filming the second one. That’s how much money they squeezed out of that bullshit. They let her promote this so long she starting talking like Batman v Superman deniers. Anyway, that’s how bad Johan Hex was. And we continue to know that Megan Fox will talk shit about any of her movies at any time.



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Megan Fox Is Banging Damon Wayans Jr.
Megan Fox Is Banging Damon Wayans Jr.


Racist white people are having the worst Black History Month ever. ( via Star

Sources say Megan Fox is smitten with Damon Wayans Jr. after filming her five-episode stint on New Girl. “They had an immediate connection,” reveals an on-set source, who notes that while Damon, 33, is no longer on the show, he often stops by after shooting Brooklyn Nine-Nine nearby. “He started bringing her breakfast in the morning, and they would hang out in her trailer. I think they really bonded over being single parents… it’s only a matter of time before they started hooking up… that is, if they haven’t already.”

Megan Fox was married to Brian Austin Green for 11 years and has only been in movies with CGI robots and CGI turtles, so when she got on set of New Girl and was around actual humans, of course she was gonna jump on the first dick she saw that wasn’t Brian Austin Green’s or Optimus Prime’s. Especially when she was wearing these shorts. I can’t wear shorts myself. I have a plate in my knee from my tour in Afghanistan. I played the role of “Soldier #4” up and down the Southeast. 


#FBF


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Megan Fox Is Still The ‘New Girl’

I don’t know why at FOX didn’t think to replace Zooey Deschanel with Megan Fox in New Girl even before Deschanel got pregnant and needed a whole season for maternity leave. Or for her bangs to grow out.  I think it’s the first one, but I’m not up to date on my New Girl dealings. But why not do it back in season 1? Seems like a missed opportunity. Anyway, here she is filming a scene for the show with Jake Johnson who, from what I can tell these pics, is also wondering why this took so long. I hope Zooey Deschanel can still be on the show somehow. Maybe she can voice a baby character or a stuffed teddy bear who solves the roommates’ problems with magic glitter.

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Brian Austin Green Officially Wants Megan Fox’s Money

Just go ahead and stay that way, Megan.

Brian Austin Green just put it in writing … he’s asking soon-to-be ex-wife Megan Fox for spousal support. In the docs filed Tuesday, Green checks the box for spousal support … a move we saw coming….Megan is still working on big time movies and has a steady income. As we’ve reported this break-up is as amicable as can be — Brian and Megan are still living under the same roof and co-parenting their sons.

Megan Fox and this dude split last month, and now she has to write a check because he falls down on the way to auditions sometimes. I just read about vertigo on WebMD. Sounds made up. I would’ve said something cool like greyscale.

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