Matthew McConaughey Was “Ultra Alpha” During ‘SNL’
Matthew McConaughey Was “Ultra Alpha” During ‘SNL’

 


A movie star from Texas with a Brazilian model for a wife hangs out with grown theater kids in NYC for a week. Somebody’s gonna talk shit.

“Saturday Night Live” star Kenan Thompson dished to Page Six on having macho man Matthew McConaughey — who refers to himself by his last name only — on the show’s set for a week. Describing the “Dallas Buyers Club” actor as “ultra alpha,” the comic quipped, “He’s like a super-duper dude, like, an ultra guy’s guy. He met everybody and just introduced himself with his last name, which is, like, a very ‘guy’ thing to do. Like, ‘Hey, McConaughey.’ We’re like, ‘Yeah, we know.’ ”

Thompson sounds like McConaughey banged the girl he wanted at the after party, but McConaughey is intelligent and has a southern accent. Women are never prepared for that.


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Matthew McConaughey Is The Best

 

The University of Texas football team has needed a pep talk for like 5 years now, so who better to give one than Matthew McConaughey? Like most actors when they’re off script, he talks in circles and you don’t really understand his point but you kinda do, but I appreciate the fact that Matthew always sounds like he’s only talking because his bowl is now empty and he forgot where he put his weed.

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Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar Acceptance Speech Was Amazing

 

Look, I saw The Wolf Of Wall Street and pretty much believed Leonardo DiCaprio had the Best Actor Oscar on lock, and I even said that until yesterday afternoon. Then…I watched Dallas Buyers Club, and…damn. He slayed it. I'm not sure what new strain of weed he's been smoking lately, but between Magic Mike, Dallas Buyers Club, and his utterly phenonemal work on True Detective, Matthew McConaughey has become one of the greatest actors alive today. And when he says, "gratitude reciprocates", it's surprising how many people don't understand that or just refuse to understand that. Be thankful and appreciative of any kind gesture, regardless if the person can offer you anything, and your soul will lose it's shit over all the good things that come your way. As my favorite writer once said, "the person you love and the person who loves you are rarely the same person", but that doesn't have to matter. Be kind and appreciative to everyone who sees something in you that you may not see in yourself. Damn, shit's gettin' deep up in here (up in here). So in conclusion, watch this acceptance speech to change your way of thinking. Weed sold seperately.

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The 86th Annual Academy Awards Were Last Night
The 86th Annual Academy Awards Were Last Night

 

As my brilliant title suggests, the 86th Annual Academy Awards were last night, and before we get into everything, here's the list of winners that you care about. Please note that Sound Mixing and Cinematography are not listed. Mostly because I have no idea what those things are. What does mixing stuff with cinnamon have to do with a making a movie? It just makes no sense. Also, Matthew McConaughey is damn handsome man. I can admit that.

 

BEST PICTURE: 12 Years a Slave

BEST ACTOR: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club

ACTRESS: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine

SUPPORTING ACTOR: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club

SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave

DIRECTOR: Alfonso Cuarón, Gravity

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: John Ridley, 12 Years a Slave

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Spike Jonze, Her

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Matthew McConaughey Is Getting Married Too

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If you’ve been dating your boyfriend since 2007 and he hasn’t asked you to marry him yet, sorry about these last two posts on the the site today 🙁 He doesn’t love you, obviously. Sorry you had to find out this way. New York Post reports:

Matthew McConaughey celebrated an extra special Christmas by popping the question to his longtime partner, Camila Alves. “Just asked camila to marry me, merry Christmas,” the 42-year-old actor posted on his WhoSay social networking account, accompanied by a snap of the two kissing in front of a Christmas tree. The “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” star has been dating the 29-year-old Brazilian model since 2007 and the couple has two children together — Levi, three, and Vida, one.

I’ve always like McConaughey. I mean he likes to get high and do stupid shit but can still manage to talk a Brazilian model into no letting him pull out twice. I don’t know that much about Camila Alves, but look at her face. I bet she hired a white maid out of spite.

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Matthew McConaughey’s Dad Died While Having Sex



Matthew McConaughey’s mom wrote a book. This is the “shocking” part to make you want to buy it. US Magazine says:

In her new book, I Amaze Myself!, Kay McConaughey dishes on everything from her son Matthew’s conception to how her husband died in a compromising position with her! “On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love,” Kay says exclusively in the latest issue of Us Weekly. “But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. “I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing,” she says. “But it was just the best way to go!” And when her man couldn’t be revived, she made sure he was taken from the house in the buff. I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey – and his gift,’ she says.”

Wow! Kay McConaughey is amazing! Her son is a pothead, her grandson’s name is Miller Lyte, and her husband died on top of her. Imagine that, on top of her! What an extraordinary life! Please Kay, tell us your secret!

Matthew out surfing earlier this month:

Photos: Splash

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Matthew McConaughey is Drunk Again



With his girlfriend, Camila Alves, due to give birth to his first child sometime in August, Matthew McConaughey is glowing with anticipation and excited about his future as a father. He celebrated that future on June 6th like any normal man would. By going to Nicaragua, getting piss drunk, and trying to bang any woman he could get his hands on. Woo hoo! Star Magazine reports:

He was acting like an out-of-control 18-year-old,” claims an eyewitness who was at the bar. “He already seemed to be drunk when he arrived alone, and he only got worse from there on. He was putting the make on every woman in his path, throwing his arms around them and trying to kiss them, and trying to dirty-dance with a few out on the floor. But he was a mess, slurring his words and stumbling around. “A few minutes after he finally left the bar, someone found him searching through a sewage ditch outside. When they asked him what he was doing, he mumbled, ‘I’ve lost my flip-flops!'”

I have to admit, this is pretty bad. Getting drunk and trying to have sex with random chicks just isn’t cool, man. Because drunk sex takes too long. And I have places to be. Yes, sweetie, you only get three minutes. What, did you think I was in love all of a sudden?

McConaughey and Camilla on June 15th:

Photos: Splash

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Matthew McConaughey Doesn’t Like Shirts



It’s a miserably slow gossip day today, so much so that the biggest stories are Lindsay Lohan’s whore boyfriend with whores, and Britney eating her hand, so here are some pictures of Matthew McConaughey on the set of Surfer Dude. It’s pretty hard to say anything bad about Matthew McConaughey. He’s almost 40 and looks like this. He prefers to live in an Airstream trailer next to the beach rather than in a mansion full of maids and servants. He also knows how to cook his own food, use tools and fix his own stuff (he’s also an incredible naked bongos player). He’s about as “all man” as most Hollywood stars get. This is what Tom Cruise pretends to be, but isn’t. I heard whenever there’s a leaky faucet or a light bulb burns out in Tom Cruise’s house, he curls up in a ball on the floor and cries.

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