Last August, Lost star Matthew Fox was arrested for…wait for it…punching a woman in the vagina. This weekend, Fox was arrested again for driving under the influence after he was pulled at 3am going to get some Taco Bell. Drunk? I would have guessed high as giraffe’s pussy. Radar Online reports:
Former Lost star Matthew Fox was arrested on suspicion of DUI in the early hours of Friday morning, RadarOnline.com has confirmed. The 41-year-old actor was taken into custody by police in Bend, Oregon, at 3:23 a.m. on suspicion of driving under the influence while heading to a fast food restaurant for a late night snack.
I really have nothing to add to this story except for the fact that Matthew Fox is who I had in mind for the main character for this script I’m working on right now. But it turns out instead of dying the way I have written him to, he’ll be found parked up a light pole and his last monologue will be ordering something off the $1 menu.
I prefer to punch on top of the head. No bruises, you see. TMZ reports:
Matthew Fox is striking back — not in the vagina, in court — claiming the woman who accused him of punching her in her private parts is a blatant liar. Fox is countersuing Heather Bormann, who filed her own lawsuit in September, claiming a drunken Fox tried to board a party bus she was driving in Cleveland, Ohio. Bormann alleged Fox attacked her after she ordered him to stay off the bus. That’s when Bormann claims Fox struck her in the breast, arm, leg and, of course, the vagina. Fox alleges in his countersuit … she’s just lying, and in reality he didn’t provoke her but she’s the one who physically attacked him. Fox claims he’s lost work because TMZ and other media outlets have reported her lawsuit, and she has subjected him to “public hatred, contempt, ridicule and shame.” Fox is suing for unspecified damages.
I’m all about punching vaginas, but you should never do so out of anger. You should take your time, listen to what the vagina has to say. My penis is very small so I usually have to do a lot of talking beforehand.
Two days ago, LOST’s Matthew Fox was detained by police, because apparently being obnoxious drunk and punching women is illegal. Us Magazine reports:
Cleveland bus driver Heather Borman officially filed assault charges Tuesday against Matthew Fox for allegedly punching her during a party bus scuffle in the Ohio city over the weekend. Prosecutors told CNN that they have photographed photos of numerous bruises on Bormann’s arms and legs. According to Bormann, the Lost star — visibly intoxicated, she said — attempted to board a private, chartered party bus and became violent when he was refused entry past midnight on Sunday. “He smelled like a liquor cabinet, like a bar,” Bormann (who didn’t recognize the star at first) told Cleveland.com of Fox, in town to shoot the film I, Alex Cross. “I told him, ‘Sorry, buddy, this is a private party. You get off my vehicle.’ I told him three times.” After Fox threw several punches, Bormann says she retaliated by punching him in the mouth. He was arrested and released later Sunday morning; Bormann visited the hospital to have her left hand bandaged.
I really don’t understand men who punch women in their vagina. I punch women in their cervix but I guess I’m just a romantic like that. I take a look at the world and I don’t see love anymore.