Mark Wahlberg Is Pissed At Tom Cruise
Mark Wahlberg Is Pissed At Tom Cruise

 

Depending on which report you read, Tom Cruise may or may not have compared filming to being a soldier fighting in Afghanistan, which in turn, made a bunch of people who have neither acted nor fought in Afghanistan to become angry. Like Mark Wahlberg. TMZ reports:

Mark Wahlberg lashed out at Tom Cruise — somewhere between directly and indirectly — last night, saying "For actors to sit there and talk about 'oh I went to SEAL training?  I don't give a f**k what you did." Wahlberg was speaking at the AFI Festival in L.A., when he was asked about the story TMZ broke about Tom Cruise saying in a deposition that his job was like fighting in Afghanistan.  Wahlberg unloaded, saying "For somebody to sit there and say 'my job was as difficult as being in the military.'  How f**king dare you, while you sit in a makeup chair for 2 hours." Wahlberg didn't stop there.  He said, "I don't give a s**t if you get your ass busted.  You get to go home at the end of the day.  You get to go to your hotel room.  You get to order your f**king chicken."

Cool story, Mark. But before you fist bump your Marky Mark poster, please keep in mind that this is  the same Mark Wahlberg who said if he had been on any one of the planes during 9/11 that he would killed the terrorists with raging American freedom boner because he had pratice beating people up when he used to put little black kids in the hospital in Boston. Also, he's like 5'6". Anyway, let's just make believe that he's not trying to get military personnel to go see his new movie (where, coincidentally, he's playing a SEAL!), and saying something that most people know doesn't really need to be said. And if you're reading this out there, thanks for serving.

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Mark Wahlberg Is In Transformers 4

Despite shooting down an Internet rumor last week that Mark Wahlberg would star in Transformers 4, Michael Bay confirmed yesterday that Mark Wahlberg will star in Transformers 4. No word yet if he had to wash Bay's Ferrari in a bikini. E! Online news reports:

It looks like Mark Wahlberg made quite the impression on Michael Bay while working together on Pain and Gain, because the director has now announced that he's cast the actor in Transformers 4. "Mark is awesome. We had a blast working on Pain and Gain and I'm so fired up to be back working with him. An actor of his caliber is the perfect guy to re-invigorate the franchise and carry on the Transformers' legacy," Bay said.

So the worst actor of our generation to star in a movie made by the worst filmmaker of our generation. Awesome. Can't wait until it's #1 at the box office cuz 'Merica.

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Mark Wahlberg Is Still Protecting The Citizens Of Miami



“There’s criminal activity going on down the street? Not after I get an all-over face application and blending for a sheer, flawless finish I can guarantee you that.

Here’s more pictures of Mark Wahlberg on the set of Michael Bay’s Pain And Gain, causing the Miami weather center to issue a severe douche warning as Wahlberg and Bay have created a mesocyclone of douche which may cause a douche supercell the likes of which Miami has never seen (except maybe in South Beach). We ask that you stay inside and stay tuned to IDLYITW for further updates on this breaking story.

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Mark Wahlberg is a Meathead, Links

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Rest Easy, People Of Miami



“You see that plane? It doesn’t have any terrorists on it I can tell you that much.”

I bet hurricanes and Miami police officers feel pretty stupid right now with nothing do since Mark Wahlberg is there filming Michael Bay’s Pain and Gain. Hurricanes can just go back to Africa and the police can just go grab some donuts or whatever, because nothing goes down on Mark Wahlberg’s watch. Mostly nothing goes down after the fact in his delusional fantasy where he’s the hero. Criminals better not forget the legendary tale of the 5’5″ wigger douche who cleaned the streets of Boston by throwing rocks at black children on a field trip and beating middle-aged Vietnamese men with sticks until they were permanently blind. To be honest, I’m actually scared right now.

Pic source = Fame/Flynet

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Mark Wahlberg Is A Fucking Moron



“I was a white rapper and I played a boxer one time. Shit woulda got real, son. See how I hold this Sharpie like a weapon?”

In an interview in the February 2012 issue of Men’s Jounal, Mark Wahlberg says he would have prevented 9/11 by simply being on the plane. Yes. You read that right.

“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”

Everyone just let that sink in for a moment while I tell you about the time I saw Mark Wahlberg at ArcLight. He’s like 5’10″ in stilts. The only blood that would have been in that first-class cabin would have been from his aorta and his tears. Because I’m sure his terrorist survivor skills he learned getting a pedicure in the makeup trailer and complaining that there’s no soy milk at the craft services table would have made Islamic extremists on a suicide pact think twice before they crossed the guy from the underwear ads. Oh, no. Not him. Fuck that shit. I mean, I love Allah and errrything but you didn’t tell us that wigger from MTV’s Beach House was gonna be here.

Yo, it’s about that time. To bring forth the rhythm and the backpedaling apology (via TMZ):

“To suggest I would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible.” But Mark admits he crossed the line — telling us, “To speculate about such a situation is ridiculous to begin with.” Mark adds, “I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention.”

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Mark Wahlberg Is A Man Of Stature



Mark Wahlberg attended the L.A. premiere of The Fighter last night, and as you can see, he really trained hard to play former lightweight champion, “Irish” Micky Ward. I really don’t know the story, but IMDB tells me it’s an “against-all-odds comeback story of redemption”. Man, this sounds great. It’ll be cool to see how somebody goes from making toys at the North Pole to being a professional boxer. What a remarkable story!

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Mark Wahlberg Says He Could Knock Out Manny Pacquiao



If you had four garden gnomes and stacked three on top of each other, Mark Wahlberg might be able to reach to put the fourth one on top, but apparently playing a boxer makes him think he could actually beat the greatest fighter of the last ten years.
TMZ reports:

Wahlberg was on the “Dan Patrick Show” this morning — where he revealed that he “clocked” a guy in a L.A. nightclub recently … and “fish hooked” some guy’s eye socket during a rumble at a Patriots-Jets football game a few years ago. Crazy violent stuff. (Audio here) But the most shocking part — Wahlberg, who trained as a boxer for his new movie “The Fighter” — thinks he could K.O. Manny Pacquiao … if he could land a suckerpunch to the side of his head. Wahlberg explains, “If I can choke him and wrestle him than that’s it … but I don’t want to be, you know, getting picked apart by him … that’s not a good call.”

I don’t know if the makeup guy on set gave him some poison foundation that fucked with his brain or what, but Floyd Mayweather, Jr. won’t even fight this guy. And people who fight Mayweather need GPS to find their corners after the first round. Maybe Wahlberg thought Dan Patrick asked him about Handy Manny, I don’t know. I’ve taken Krav Maga for a long time now, and the only way I’d get in a ring with Manny Pacquiao is if I had a pet dragon with lasers for eyes or we were at the circus.

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Mark Wahlberg is Complimentary



Mark Wahlberg is a notorious jackass, so of course he couldn’t help himself when he was asked about Kate Moss and their famous 1992 Calvin Klein ads in an interview with Nuts Magazine. The Sun reports:

“It was OK. I wasn’t into the waif thing. She [Kate Moss] kind of looked like my nephew. I mean she’s beautiful – she’s a very pretty nephew – but I’m more into curvy women.”

It’s hard not to argue with Mark Wahlberg, I guess. Especially since Kate Moss looks like she should be dancing on a table with a top hat and umbrella explaining to Pinocchio about a good conscience.


Not looking a nephew, here’s Lucy Pinder in this week’s issue of Nuts Magazine. Ta-dow! NSFW:

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