Malin Akerman Replaced Lindsay Lohan In Inferno

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Since a one-armed illegal Mexican immigrant who is allergic to oranges and drywall has a better chance of getting hired than Lindsay Lohan, Malin Ackerman has officially been replaced Lohan in the Linda Lovelave biopic, Inferno. She’s most widely known from The Watchmen (BAM!). Or the guy Ben Still banged in Heartbreak Kid (EVEN MORE BAM!NSFW). Or the topless chick in Harold & Kumar (WAY MORE BAM!NSFW). Radar Online reports:

Director Matthew Wilder has wasted no time in replacing Lindsay Lohan as the star of his upcoming Inferno, has learned. He’s brought in superhot Malin Akerman to star in the Linda Lovelace biopic, Deadline Hollywood is reporting… was the first to reveal that Wilder was backing away from his long support of the troubled Lohan to star in his movie. On Wednesday he told us he had a “Plan B” in place. And yesterday, Wilder told us it was a done deal. “We’ve fired Lindsay,” he said, revealing that “we’ve already lined up somebody else who we are really happy with.” Lindsay’s camp is insisting she wasn’t fired, it was her decision to pull out of the film.

This movie is about a porn chick, and while Matthew Wilder might have got an actress upgrade, the titty downgrade has made me lose all interest in this thing. Is there some sort of conspiracy to keep Lindsay’s rack off a movie screen? It certainly appears so.

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Malin Akerman Is A Lady

The Stockholm, Sweden premiere of Couples Retreat was Wednesday night, and star Malin Akerman was so excited about it that she got out of her car like she thought it was an OB/GYN exam. I’m not sure why she thought this was a good idea. My Craigslist ad says I give them for free in a clean, discreet environment. So discreet the cops can’t find it. Hit me up, ladies!

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Maxim’s Hot 100 List: Pretty Hot

I’m with the Maxim Hot 100 List 2009 as far as their top pick: Olivia Wilde. Mmmm. How’d I love to lick those boots, and I’m not even a foot fetishist.

Beyond Wilde, the list gets a little wonky, but the hearts of the Maxim staff are in the right place. Though it looks like they brought one to many of the idiot editors of Blender over to the flagship mag when the latter bit the dust.

That’s right, I didn’t like the Blender editors. That’s the joke.

1. Olivia Wilde
2. Megan Fox
3. Bar Refaeli
4. Malin Akerman
5. Mila Kunis
6. Eliza Dusku
7. Adriana Lima
8. Rihanna
9. Jordana Brewster
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt

These are mostly SPOILER ALERTS, since the full list won’t be revealed until the mag hits newsstands this Wednesday.

You can see numbers 31-100 at the Maxim site HERE.

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Links And Order In The Court!

This was the most exciting meeting of the Medina City Council ever. [BestWeekEver]

Lady GaGa does his/her best to eradicate the need for pants on The View. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Jennifer Lopez is meeting with her manager, which means sometime in the near future my eyes and/or ears will spontaneously start to bleed. [LaineyGossip]

Sienna Miller was hurt during a catfight on the set of GI Joe. [ImNotObsessed]

If you didn’t see Watchmen, but you do want to see Malin Akerman’s nipples as she has sex in the Owl Ship, this link is for you. [Egotastic]

Kristin Stewart is going to stop making Twilight movies for long enough to ruin the memory of Joan Jett. [ICYDK]

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First 5 Minutes of Watchmen

Of course, Watchmen was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend, taking in $55 million on Friday and Saturday, so sorry if that offends anyone. I know that semester of film school mommy and daddy paid for until you flunked out and entered the exciting career of making designs in my coffee made you have exacting tastes in movies, but nobody cares if you stamp your feet and throw your scarf over your shoulder and refuse to see it. Hopefully, Netflix will have that one black and white movie about the improbable love of an amputee Nazi and her gay dyslexic housekeeper. You know, or whatever boring shit you watch because you think the chick behind the counter at Barnes & Noble you asked out will let you touch her bra because she thinks you’re cool.

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Samuel L. Jackson Just Got Paid

Samuel L. Jackson, who had a 31 second cameo as S.H.I.E.L.D agent, Nick Fury, in last year’s Iron Man, has just signed an unprecedented nine-picture deal with Marvel Studios to reprise the role. God…wait for it…damn. The Hollywood Reporter says:

The movies include “Iron Man 2,” “Thor,” “Captain America,” “The Avengers” and its sequels. Also on the table is the possibility of toplining a “S.H.I.E.L.D.” movie, which is in development. The actor, repped by ICM and Anonymous Content, made a surprise appearance as Fury at the end of the first “Iron Man,” throwing geeks into a tizzy and showing the first glimpse of Marvel’s plan to link all their slate of movies into one filmic universe.

Holy crap. Lindsay Lohan can’t get a job with the dude in commercials yet Samuel L. Jackson can sign a NINE picture deal. Hollywood may not be so bad after all. If I was Samuel L. Jackson, I don’t even know if I would make any more movies after that. However, what I do know, is that my daily planner would include scheduled times for throwing up blood and waking up on top of a pair of 18 year old twins.

Speaking of comic books, here’s Malin Akerman at the UK premiere of Watchmen:

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