According to her Facebook page, skiier Lindsey Vonn is now dating Tiger Woods. And as you can see if you click the link, they had couples’ portraits taken. Couples’ portraits. Also, we’ve learned that Tiger Woods has a specific type. And that type is “any white lady” or “where da white women at?”. In closing, if you’re white, Tiger Woods will totally date you. But please understand that you have to be white. Did I mention you have to be white? Because you have to be white.
Well, this doesn’t look good. TMZ reports:
Olympic gold medal skier Lindsey Vonn was airlifted to a hospital in Austria today after a frightening crash during the Alpine World Championships in Schladming. Vonn lost her balance after landing awkwardly from a jump … losing her ski and skidding into a gate. Doctors evaluated Vonn for more than ten minutes on the slope before she was loaded on to a helicopter and flown to a nearby hospital. According to reports, the doctor who examined Vonn says he believes she suffered a tibial plateau fracture — also known as a break in the shinbone.
White people like skiing, climbing mountains, jumping out of airplanes, and swimming with sharks. Usually they think nothing will happen to them because they’re white, but sometimes they fracture their leg or somebody makes a movie about the time they cut off their own arm.