Lindsay Lohan Is Writing A Book
Lindsay Lohan Is Writing A Book


Lindsay Lohan talked to Vanity Fair and said she’s writing a book. Lindsay Lohan also made it to 30. The world doesn’t make sense. 

I am in the process of writing a book, and I am very excited to share my personal experiences in life and how to overcome obstacles. I hope that my words will connect with those who need some guidance when [or] if they are in a tough place. I am grateful that I have a voice, which I can now feel comfortable using as a platform to let people know that we all have ups and downs in life, and we can all come up from the downs if we get in touch with our inner self and spiritual side.

If you go check the receipts, every celebrity news site owes most of their traffic from 2005 to 2010 to Lindsay Lohan. The chick never really stood a chance with the parents she has and all the cocaine. She’s been arrested more times than a Dallas Cowboy’s player, turned 21 in rehab,  and saw herself replaced with Emma Stone before she turned 24. Now she’s living in London and engaged to the trust fund kid of a Russian billionaire. I hope this book is in the self-help section of the SI Swimsuit offices.


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Let Lindsay Lohan Teach You About #Brexit

I won’t pretend I knew anything about #Brexit until last night. From what I’ve read, the European Union doesn’t really seem to be a shining beacon of democracy, and the overwhelmingly vast majority of people who voted to make their economy a dumpster fire were mostly white people 40 and older because they wanted to basically “Make Britain Great Again” if you catch my subtext. People in America who say “sheeple” a lot and bald eagles as their profile pics absolutely love it, so I guess that should tell us all we need to know really. Anyway, Lindsay Lohan lives in London now with her Russian boyfriend, so I guess she feels she’s British now. She live tweeted the whole thing last night The tweets were deleted, but it’s not like that’s ever mattered. I’ll let you make sesne of this, yeah?

(more…)

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Lindsay Lohan Was Left Around Jewelry

Lindsay Lohan attended a party because “Uno de 50 celebrates their 20th anniversary at the Palacio de Saldaña”. That was a lot for me to Google. Their website informed that Uno de 50 sells jewelry that people named Ashleigh wear to Burning Man.  They should have Googled “should I leave Lindsay Lohan alone alone jewelry“. The answer is no. Lindsay is smiling way too much in these pics for my liking. 

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Lindsay Lohan And Kourtney Kardashian Did London (The City) Last Night

White millennials have been emailing in since Tuesday to warn me that the world will end in November because Hillary Clinton won’t give them every single thing they demand like their parents, so that’s been fun. I don’t reply, because I know it’s been a rough week for them. The law of averages says that at least one of them had a panic attack and had to call their mom from their car because their favorite bubble tea place closed down. It’s been a lot to handle this week. But I hope these pictures of Lindsay Lohan and Kourtney Kardashian in London renew their faith that anything is possible, because Lindsay looks a billion times hotter than Kourtney here. I bet nobody saw that coming. You can still hope that Clinton goes to prison or hope the DNC finally allows the mail in votes from Mars to be counted, but I hope you can appreciate these pictures for a moment. 

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Lindsay Lohan Wore This Somewhere

This is something Lindsay Lohan settled on wearing to the 6th Asian Awards 2016: ‘Honouring Asian Excellence’ in London. Maybe Asians are into this type of thing or one of them was being honored for heroin sales. We really don’t need to know either way. Lindsay thought this looked classy. Mystery solved. 

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Lindsay Lohan Has A Rich Russian Boyfriend Named ‘Egor’
Lindsay Lohan Has A Rich Russian Boyfriend Named ‘Egor’


EGOR &  LINDSAY 4EVA

The lucky guy is 22-year-old Egor Tarabasov. He’s a Russian heir to a business empire in Yeltsin land. Egor met Lindsay in London through a mutual friend. They’ve been dating for 4 months, and it’s already pretty serious. He came to NYC with LiLo over the Xmas holidays to meet Dina and the fam. We’re told Egor has the Lohan family stamp of approval … they think he keeps her out of trouble. Tarabasov lives in London, where he’s starting up his own real estate company, so it looks like Lindsay is staying put.

Looks like old Egor here has everything Lindsay could ever want in a man: an easily-influenced 22-year old unfamiliar with American customs who has access to unlimited money and drugs. Congrats to the happy couple. 


Awww, he’s already buying her luxury items she doesn’t even need like a bodyguard. Egor is the best. 


[ banner pic Instagram ]

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Lindsay Lohan Said A Guy Beat Her Up
Lindsay Lohan Said A Guy Beat Her Up


The last time we heard from Lindsay Lohan she had a meltdown in a NYC bar while screaming racist shit. But good news for Lindsay! Being an alleged victim of domestic violence doesn’t make her look bad. She posted this pic on Instagram yesterday then immediately deleted it. 


Lindsay Lohan


So who is this mystery man? She didn’t say. According to Radar Online, it isn’t her boyfriend.

Lindsay was last known to be dating Italian businessman Mathia Milani, however, the two have not been photographed together since June 2015, there is no indication that he has any involvement in her injury.

For the sake of argument, if I was to it Lindsay Lohan, I don’t think I’d aim for her shin. Not saying Lindsay is lying, but Lindsay lies about pretty much everything. If some dude did hit her, I hope she deleted the pic after he agreed to pay the negotiated rate. 


Lindsay performing with Duran Duran in December. I don’t know either. 



[  h/t ONTD, But That’s None of My Business  ]

[  pic via The Shade Room  

[  banner pic via Instagram  ]

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Hey, It’s Lindsay Lohan Topless In A Volcano
 

Yes, volcanic mud to clear alway the negativity. But you have to do it like this! And it’s awesome

A photo posted by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) on



At some point we kinda knew that Lindsay Lohan would eventually run out of places to be topless and end up topless inside a volcano, so here she is. Topless in a volcano. How can she afford it? Maybe check her secure site and look at her pricing menu.



*Cash only *Some offers not available in the contiguous United States.

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The Lohans Hate Jennifer Lawrence
The Lohans Hate Jennifer Lawrence


Apparently Jennifer Lawrence was “ill and vomiting” right before the Joy premiere, and I guess she’s all right now. All right as Jennifer Lawrence can be. Then she went on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Either the Lohan’s watch that or their Google alerts are very robust.

“I’m a puker. I don’t stop working . . . until eventually my body’s just like, ‘If we don’t make her barf or pass out, she won’t stop…I get, like, Lindsay Lohan-grade exhaustion, but without any drugs or alcohol.”

They didn’t take it well.



I legit forgot there was an “Ali Lohan”, and I really don’t think Maya Angelou appreciates being involved in this. And it’s not like you can mention Lindsay Lohan without mentioning drugs and alcohol. That’s like having a GOP without mentioning which brown people are ruining America this time.


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Lindsay Lohan Loves Dressing Like The Woman Charles Manson’s Family Killed
 

A photo posted by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) on



If you were wondering if Lindsay Lohan was still doing drugs, that mystery has been solved because she posted this on Instagram.

#cancer meets #AQUARIUS I LOVE SHARON TATE #themeLOOK

Not that I need to tell you, but Sharon Tate was a 26-year old actress who was 8 months pregnant with Roman Polanski’s baby when she was killed along with four other people by members of the Manson Family. Tate was stabbed 16 times and had a rope tied around neck. I guess she also had really good taste in clothes for that time period.


Let’s move on to something less morbid. Play us out, Charles.


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