Lindsay Lohan Doesn’t Want To Date Anybody In Hollywood Anymore

Lindsay Lohan is on the cover and gets interviewed in the spring 2015 issue of something called Homme Style magazine, where she says she doesn’t want to hahaha just read it. Good stuff, good stuff.

“I haven’t really thought about it in a while, I’ve been so focused on my career,” Lohan, 28, tells Homme Style magazine of her love life. “At this time, I’d probably have to say someone not in show business, maybe a businessman.”

I appreciate the level of whatever mental illness Lindsay has that makes her think anybody in Hollywood actually wants to date her and she just doesn’t want to be bothered. Another scenario would be that everybody in Hollywood has already been balls deep in her mouth already, but don’t like having to drop lock their coke up in a vault at the bottom of the ocean whenever she comes over. She should totally try to date a LA businessman. Maybe she’ll get a tan and some free oranges from the back of his truck when she visits him at work.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan Is Still Good At Photoshop
Lindsay Lohan Is Still Good At Photoshop

With all the free time she has, you’d think Lindsay Lohan would be able to bring Paul Walker back to life in Photoshop by now, but then you remember that cokeheads live in a differently reality and she probably convinced herself this look totally natural when she posted it. It totally does. If you look really close you can see James Spader and Kurt Russell walking through.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Hey, Here’s Lindsay’s Nipple
Hey, Here’s Lindsay’s Nipple

In 2006, I probably would have posted this picture of Lindsay Lohan’s nipple  if I was flying into a mountain on a Germanwings plane, now not so much. To be honest, I’m actually just trying to get this out of the way so I post other stuff. But if you want to see a boob more than you’ve seen your own, click HERE . Good times.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Lindsay Is Great At Photoshop
Lindsay Is Great At Photoshop

Lindsay Lohan posted this pic on Instagram last night, and boy, does her ass look great, doesn’t it? Also, the door she’s standing in front of is a portal to another dimension. That’s pretty neat.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan Thought She Had A Hood Pass
Lindsay Lohan Thought She Had A Hood Pass

Sometimes when white girls are at a concert or the club, they get too turnt up in the moment and forget to lock down their casual racism. It happens. It’s adorable. Cue Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan is about to learn a life lesson … nothing on the Internet is ever really gone … because her attempt to delete the N-word from social media has failed miserably.  Lohan went to see Kanye West perform Tuesday night as part of Paris Fashion Week. She posted a photo of Kanye onstage that included the caption, “#kanye&kimAlldaynigga$.” Lindsay deleted the corresponding tweet and edited the Instagram post to remove the N-word ... but her followers noticed and called her out on it.

Obviously, Lindsay Lohan isn’t racist as much as she is just dumb, because as we all know, if you’re gonna say “nigger”, you should say it at the privacy of your own home or in your fraternity. Or replace with words like thug. Or criminal.  Or welfare queen. Or socialist. or Kenyan. Or President. Christ, has Fox News taught you nothing?

 

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Settle Down, Lindsay
Settle Down, Lindsay

Lindsay Lohan posted this pic to Instagram this weekend. Why? Not sure. Oh I know. If you are a distinguished gentleman looking for a sophisticated lady, look no further. Her intellect will amaze, her beauty will entice, and her charm will intrigue you. She has the wonderful ability to bring smiles to the company she keeps, and she finds great satisfaction in knowing she has left you feeling totally pampered and special. If you find sexy, flirty fun as your cup of tea, please don’t hesitate to contact her. Why wait any longer to enjoy her one-of-a-kind companionship? She’s ready for you, but are you ready for her ?

She looks forward to hearing from you soon. Until then……

  • $350*    1 hour
  • $500*    90 min
  • $650*    2 hours
  • $925*    3 hours

(* = fee can be paid in coke and/or a role in a SAG film)

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan Spreads For Everyone

Here’s Lindsay Lohan in the upcoming issue of Hunger Magazine. Did they specifically ask her to spread her legs, or is that just like a natural impulse? I like how Hunger saved money on the shoot though. The guy who called the escort service probably just texted them the pics from his phone.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan Has Joint Pain Or Something

 I’ve been here for a long time, and if you would have told me that Lindsay Lohan would still be alive in 2015, I would have thrown my Motorola RAZR at your face. She does have an incurable virus, so I guess my prediction was half right.

Lindsay Lohan is in a London hospital with a rare, incurable virus she apparently picked up in Bora Bora … TMZ has learned.  We’re told Lindsay contracted Chikungunya, a virus transmitted by mosquito bites that causes fever, joint pain and fatigue.   Lindsay vacationed in Bora Bora over the holidays and then flew to L.A. to shoot an Esurance commercial … we believe for the Super Bowl.  Lindsay began complaining of the illness just before New Year’s. She then went back to London where she became so ill she couldn’t walk.  Lindsay is currently in King Edward VII’s Hospital … the same place the Queen gets treated. They’re keeping Lindsay because she has a high fever and the joint pain is unbearable. As for her prognosis … we’re told the joint pain could last for months.

Lindsay should make a full recovery, because as we know, joints were never Lindsay’s problem.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan Has Some Kind Of Virus

It was inevitable that Lindsay Lohan would contract a virus at some point, but if you didn’t bet on “French mosquitoes”, I’m afraid that you have lost some money.

The troubled actress, 28, was diagnosed with the Chikungunya virus during her French Polynesian holiday. According to the World Health Organization, Chikungunya is transmitted through mosquito bites and causes fever, severe joint pain among other unpleasant symptoms. There is no cure; treatment primarily focus on reliving symptoms. “Before I got Chikungunya use bug spray please, God bless,” she tweeted on December 27. The following day she updated everyone on her condition saying, “Being sick is no fun. But happy new year everyone. Be safe. Love all.” She also refuses to let her illness keep her from a good time. “In good faith with good people,” she captioned an Instagram with friends. “I refuse to let a virus [affect] my peaceful vacation be safe and happy on the new year all #wildfox and positive, healthy new year.”

Lindsay is still partying and talking selfies with friends, so she’s basically the Ebola Nurse with slightly better eyebrows and more disposable income for cocaine.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan Started A New Clothing Line

It’s called….MY ADDICTION and you can get it online for $29.95 or you can get it at PacSun if you’d rather take your skateboard. A small portion of the proceeds go to the Chinese children who make it.

Related Posts:

Tags: