Lindsay Lohan Is Talking With Some Weird Ass Accent Now For Some Reason
Lindsay Lohan Is Talking With Some Weird Ass Accent Now For Some Reason

 

I have no fucking idea what is going on here, but it’s Lindsay Lohan, so I’m gonna assume drugs. It’s probably drugs. No way it’s not drugs.

 

 

Like, I know what drug it is that makes you compare a Greek nightclub to the Syrian refugee crisis while sounding like Cady Heron talking like a backup Bond girl, but maybe it’s only available in Greece. 

I don’t know, ask your therapist. Just make an appointment, talk about whatever you want it’s okay.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Of Course Lindsay Lohan Was Harley Quinn

I thought we’d get through Halloween without any generic Harley Quinn costumes, but I forgot to factor in that Lindsay Lohan is somehow still alive. I guess this is better than the time she dressed up like the lady Charles Manson had killed, but this looks like a methadone clinic decided to have a Halloween party last minute.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Lindsay Lohan Cut Off ‘Half Her Finger’
Lindsay Lohan Cut Off ‘Half Her Finger’



Lindsay Lohan had a photo op with some Syrian refugees in Turkey, but she’s white and has a rich Russian boyfriend, so that means while she was in Turkey this weekend she was in a boating accident.  You guys are always getting into boating accidents!

Lindsay was enjoying Sunday in the ocean off Turkey when she tried pulling up the boat anchor and became entangled in it. The anchor pulled her down into the water and she struggled to get back in the boat as she tried untangling herself.  The anchor sliced off the tip of her finger. Her friends went on the hunt and found the detached digit on the deck of the boat. They rushed LiLo to an ER, where a plastic surgeon reattached it.

Not sure how the “tip of her finger” turned into “lost half my finger” (tweet deleted), but no wait, yes I do. This is Lindsay Lohan. She needs to exaggerate to feel alive. Anyway, she lost a body part for the first time and it wasn’t because of Colombian drug lords. Sorry to everyone who lost that bet. TMZ has the also unnecessarily exaggerated and enabling “GRUESOME PHOTO” she pulled down, and you can check the video below she posted then also pulled down . Or you can go over to Etsy and see my Halloween dog costume crotchet kits. Perfect for a beginner to knitting. The large knitting needles makes it easy to count your stitches and the pattern uses a simple knit stitch throughout.
(more…)

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan Is Writing A Book
Lindsay Lohan Is Writing A Book


Lindsay Lohan talked to Vanity Fair and said she’s writing a book. Lindsay Lohan also made it to 30. The world doesn’t make sense. 

I am in the process of writing a book, and I am very excited to share my personal experiences in life and how to overcome obstacles. I hope that my words will connect with those who need some guidance when [or] if they are in a tough place. I am grateful that I have a voice, which I can now feel comfortable using as a platform to let people know that we all have ups and downs in life, and we can all come up from the downs if we get in touch with our inner self and spiritual side.

If you go check the receipts, every celebrity news site owes most of their traffic from 2005 to 2010 to Lindsay Lohan. The chick never really stood a chance with the parents she has and all the cocaine. She’s been arrested more times than a Dallas Cowboy’s player, turned 21 in rehab,  and saw herself replaced with Emma Stone before she turned 24. Now she’s living in London and engaged to the trust fund kid of a Russian billionaire. I hope this book is in the self-help section of the SI Swimsuit offices.


Related Posts:

Tags:
Let Lindsay Lohan Teach You About #Brexit

I won’t pretend I knew anything about #Brexit until last night. From what I’ve read, the European Union doesn’t really seem to be a shining beacon of democracy, and the overwhelmingly vast majority of people who voted to make their economy a dumpster fire were mostly white people 40 and older because they wanted to basically “Make Britain Great Again” if you catch my subtext. People in America who say “sheeple” a lot and bald eagles as their profile pics absolutely love it, so I guess that should tell us all we need to know really. Anyway, Lindsay Lohan lives in London now with her Russian boyfriend, so I guess she feels she’s British now. She live tweeted the whole thing last night The tweets were deleted, but it’s not like that’s ever mattered. I’ll let you make sesne of this, yeah?

(more…)

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan Was Left Around Jewelry

Lindsay Lohan attended a party because “Uno de 50 celebrates their 20th anniversary at the Palacio de Saldaña”. That was a lot for me to Google. Their website informed that Uno de 50 sells jewelry that people named Ashleigh wear to Burning Man.  They should have Googled “should I leave Lindsay Lohan alone alone jewelry“. The answer is no. Lindsay is smiling way too much in these pics for my liking. 

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan And Kourtney Kardashian Did London (The City) Last Night

White millennials have been emailing in since Tuesday to warn me that the world will end in November because Hillary Clinton won’t give them every single thing they demand like their parents, so that’s been fun. I don’t reply, because I know it’s been a rough week for them. The law of averages says that at least one of them had a panic attack and had to call their mom from their car because their favorite bubble tea place closed down. It’s been a lot to handle this week. But I hope these pictures of Lindsay Lohan and Kourtney Kardashian in London renew their faith that anything is possible, because Lindsay looks a billion times hotter than Kourtney here. I bet nobody saw that coming. You can still hope that Clinton goes to prison or hope the DNC finally allows the mail in votes from Mars to be counted, but I hope you can appreciate these pictures for a moment. 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Lindsay Lohan Wore This Somewhere

This is something Lindsay Lohan settled on wearing to the 6th Asian Awards 2016: ‘Honouring Asian Excellence’ in London. Maybe Asians are into this type of thing or one of them was being honored for heroin sales. We really don’t need to know either way. Lindsay thought this looked classy. Mystery solved. 

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan Has A Rich Russian Boyfriend Named ‘Egor’
Lindsay Lohan Has A Rich Russian Boyfriend Named ‘Egor’


EGOR &  LINDSAY 4EVA

The lucky guy is 22-year-old Egor Tarabasov. He’s a Russian heir to a business empire in Yeltsin land. Egor met Lindsay in London through a mutual friend. They’ve been dating for 4 months, and it’s already pretty serious. He came to NYC with LiLo over the Xmas holidays to meet Dina and the fam. We’re told Egor has the Lohan family stamp of approval … they think he keeps her out of trouble. Tarabasov lives in London, where he’s starting up his own real estate company, so it looks like Lindsay is staying put.

Looks like old Egor here has everything Lindsay could ever want in a man: an easily-influenced 22-year old unfamiliar with American customs who has access to unlimited money and drugs. Congrats to the happy couple. 


Awww, he’s already buying her luxury items she doesn’t even need like a bodyguard. Egor is the best. 


[ banner pic Instagram ]

Related Posts:

Tags:
Lindsay Lohan Said A Guy Beat Her Up
Lindsay Lohan Said A Guy Beat Her Up


The last time we heard from Lindsay Lohan she had a meltdown in a NYC bar while screaming racist shit. But good news for Lindsay! Being an alleged victim of domestic violence doesn’t make her look bad. She posted this pic on Instagram yesterday then immediately deleted it. 


Lindsay Lohan


So who is this mystery man? She didn’t say. According to Radar Online, it isn’t her boyfriend.

Lindsay was last known to be dating Italian businessman Mathia Milani, however, the two have not been photographed together since June 2015, there is no indication that he has any involvement in her injury.

For the sake of argument, if I was to it Lindsay Lohan, I don’t think I’d aim for her shin. Not saying Lindsay is lying, but Lindsay lies about pretty much everything. If some dude did hit her, I hope she deleted the pic after he agreed to pay the negotiated rate. 


Lindsay performing with Duran Duran in December. I don’t know either. 



[  h/t ONTD, But That’s None of My Business  ]

[  pic via The Shade Room  

[  banner pic via Instagram  ]

Related Posts:

Tags: