For some reason, multi-millionaire and consul general and ambassador of tourism for the Seychelles (Google is your friend?), Justin Etzin, is friends with Lindsay Lohan (seen here wearing a crown and a white dress to a wedding). He thought it would be a good idea to invite her to his four day wedding to model Lana Zakocela in Florence last week. Lindsay then Lindsay’d hard.
Max von Sydow will be on S6 of Game of Thrones. Someone please hold me.
Scott Walker got trolled so hard he enrolled in college
The Duggars are broke and begging fans to buy their shitty t-shirts
Two people got shot and died at OVOFest. These two people were not Drake and Meek Mill
Beyonce dropped $312K on a pair of shoes
Here’s a video of a cop and a baby skunk with its head stuck in a yogurt cup
Allure Magazine ran an Afro-style tutorial. They used a white model.
Kentucky cops handcuff 8-year olds with disabilities now
Greece’s economy collapsed and Lindsay Lohan‘s tits have collapsed, so I guess it makes sense that she’s in Mykonos right now. MPs are preparing for a second vote on bailout reforms, and Lindsay Lohan brought a friend with bigger tits so I would post these pictures. I hope you understand what I’m saying. Comparing these two scenarios has proved more difficult than I originally thought.
Zimmer Ice Lab must not have a lot of money in their marketing budget, because here’s Lindsay Lohan on Instagram showing you the benefits of cryotherapy. Not only does it treat and repair tissue damage, you also come out super high.
BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan does dumb shit.
Lindsay Lohan has come up “woefully short” with her remaining community service hours and should face arrest as soon as she returns to the U.S. from London, a California prosecutor said Wednesday. The “Mean Girls” star is due for a probation progress report Thursday, and so far she’s completed less than 20 hours of the 125 additional community service hours she agreed to complete by May 28, Santa Monica City Attorney Terry White told the Daily News. “We’ll probably ask that her probation be revoked,” White said Wednesday. “It doesn’t appear she’s taking it very seriously.” Lohan received the extra hours after White challenged the log sheet she submitted in January to satisfy the sentence in her 2012 reckless driving conviction. “She’s had more than enough opportunity to finish. But she turned in some hours that were extremely suspect, that the court disallowed, and now, given the last chance of all last chances, she’s come up.”
Lindsay completed 240 hours of community service back in January at the very last possible minute, so never underestimate the last minute scheduling of a woman who loves coke more than she fears jail. She’s gonna get this time done, because nobody in prison is gonna pay her an eight ball to jack off on her tits.
Lindsay Lohan is doing community service today and she took a picture and posted it to Instagram. This was the caption.
When you think of community service, you think “oh fuck yes I’m not in jail let me do this remedial, asinine task for a few months while I remember that I’m nit in jail so let me show, do whatever and leave but not before the person signs my sheet that I have to turn in after it’s all over because if I don’t that would be jail again”. I would say Lindsay thinks that too, but Lindsay doesn’t know how to spell community.
You’d think as much time as Lindsay Lohan gets discreetly flown to Saudi Arabia to lie on a tarp in a mansion basement that she would have learned basic conversational Arabic by now, but she thought this said “You’re Beautiful”, and she’s probably never heard that spoken before. It actually means “You’re An Ass”, so you can never say Saudis don’t have a sense of humor.
Lindsay Lohan is on the cover and gets interviewed in the spring 2015 issue of something called Homme Style magazine, where she says she doesn’t want to hahaha just read it. Good stuff, good stuff.
“I haven’t really thought about it in a while, I’ve been so focused on my career,” Lohan, 28, tells Homme Style magazine of her love life. “At this time, I’d probably have to say someone not in show business, maybe a businessman.”
I appreciate the level of whatever mental illness Lindsay has that makes her think anybody in Hollywood actually wants to date her and she just doesn’t want to be bothered. Another scenario would be that everybody in Hollywood has already been balls deep in her mouth already, but don’t like having to drop lock their coke up in a vault at the bottom of the ocean whenever she comes over. She should totally try to date a LA businessman. Maybe she’ll get a tan and some free oranges from the back of his truck when she visits him at work.
With all the free time she has, you’d think Lindsay Lohan would be able to bring Paul Walker back to life in Photoshop by now, but then you remember that cokeheads live in a differently reality and she probably convinced herself this look totally natural when she posted it. It totally does. If you look really close you can see James Spader and Kurt Russell walking through.
In 2006, I probably would have posted this picture of Lindsay Lohan’s nipple if I was flying into a mountain on a Germanwings plane, now not so much. To be honest, I’m actually just trying to get this out of the way so I post other stuff. But if you want to see a boob more than you’ve seen your own, click HERE . Good times.