Lebron James Is A Cleveland Cavalier Again
Lebron James Is A Cleveland Cavalier Again


“You don’t know him like we do. He only hit us that one time because he loves us.  We ask that you respect our privacy at this time as we rebuild our lives together.’ – Cleveland Cavalier fans

When I left Cleveland, I was on a mission. I was seeking championships, and we won two. But Miami already knew that feeling. Our city hasn’t had that feeling in a long, long, long time. My goal is still to win as many titles as possible, no question. But what’s most important for me is bringing one trophy back to Northeast Ohio. I always believed that I’d return to Cleveland and finish my career there. I just didn’t know when. After the season, free agency wasn’t even a thought. But I have two boys and my wife, Savannah, is pregnant with a girl. I started thinking about what it would be like to raise my family in my hometown. I looked at other teams, but I wasn’t going to leave Miami for anywhere except Cleveland. The more time passed, the more it felt right. This is what makes me happy. To make the move I needed the support of my wife and my mom, who can be very tough. The letter from Dan Gilbert, the booing of the Cleveland fans, the jerseys being burned — seeing all that was hard for them. My emotions were more mixed. It was easy to say, “OK, I don’t want to deal with these people ever again.” But then you think about the other side. What if I were a kid who looked up to an athlete, and that athlete made me want to do better in my own life, and then he left? How would I react? I’ve met with Dan, face-to-face, man-to-man. We’ve talked it out. Everybody makes mistakes. I’ve made mistakes as well. Who am I to hold a grudge? I’m not promising a championship. I know how hard that is to deliver. We’re not ready right now. No way. Of course, I want to win next year, but I’m realistic. It will be a long process, much longer than it was in 2010. My patience will get tested. I know that. I’m going into a situation with a young team and a new coach. I will be the old head. But I get a thrill out of bringing a group together and helping them reach a place they didn’t know they could go. I see myself as a mentor now and I’m excited to lead some of these talented young guys. I think I can help Kyrie Irving become one of the best point guards in our league. I think I can help elevate Tristan Thompson and Dion Waiters. And I can’t wait to reunite with Anderson Varejao, one of my favorite teammates.

Say what you want about Lebron James, but he doesn’t owe Miami shit and he doesn’t owe Cleveland shit. This is the greatest player in the NBA and he’s about to sign his FIRST NBA maximum contract. Let that sink in. The man who led the Miami Heat in basically every statistical category that mattered, went to four Finals in four years, won two NBA titles, but he’s blasted for doing enough. What exactly do you want him to do? Clone himself four times? Invest in a technology that will make Wade 23 again? If anything, the Heat owe him some money. I don’t know how Mario Chalmers cashes his game checks in good conscious and Dwayne Wade looks like he just got shot in the knee cap every time they play, but he’s more than willing to let Lebron take the blame if they lose. And Chris Bosh still hasn’t found vunerable spot in the raptor cage. Cavaliers will never win a championship with Lebron, because they have a shitty roster full of “athletes” who can’t play defense, but who cares? They seemed pretty happy to get the #1 pick in the draft three of the last four years, because they considered that lucky. No, you should consider that an abject failure. So winning 50 games a year will more than good enough for them since they’re so easy to please. I’m just happy for Miami Heat fans. They don’t have to pretend to know anything about basketball now and they can show up 30 mins late to the game without somebody pointing it out on national television.

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LeBron James Takes Steroids (Probably)

Anthony Bosch, the founder of the Miami-based PED clinic, Biogenesis of America LLC, and central figure in several high-profile steroid scandals, probably shouldn’t have let this employee go. IBN Sports reports:

Former employee of Anthony Bosch claims a Mr.Paul picked up items from the clinic on a monthly basis, and when he paid the initials L.J. where used in the bookkeeping log.. Why would that be suspicious? Well Lebron’s best friend and agent’s name is Rich Paul …Introducing first our guest on the line : Jessica. She had been introduced to Anthony Bosch by mutual friends before beginning to work for him from April 2010 to February 2012 as a assistant before leaving the company. She was in charge of keeping track of pretty much every financial transfer in Bosch’s clinic.

Take it away, Jessica:

Incarcerated Bob : What names stood out to you ?
: LJ, JN, Francisco, Cruz ..
Incarcerated Bob : These were the name that you just had and were told to put in the books ?
Jessica : Yes.
Incarcerated Bob : How did that work, money would come in ? Did Mr Bosch tell you to put some initials in the books ?
Jessica : Yes. Like LJ, someone named Mr Paul would come in and Mr Bosch would give a check to put in the book LJ as being “payed for the month”.

How many times have you heard somebody call LeBron James “a freak of nature”? Well, that’s certainly one way to say it. Another would be that he’s a 6’8″, 250 pound dude who can run and jump like Spider-Man and never seems to get tired. When he hits free agency, he’ll probably sign with the Justice League.

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Jeremy Lin Ten Minute Up

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“Confucius say, ‘He who make premature endorsement deal should take money and open laundromat.'”

On February 4, mathletes and New York Knicks fans everywhere, hailed Harvard graduate and NBA afterthought, Jeremy Lin, as the savior of the franchise after he seemingly came out of nowhere to drop 25 points and 7 assists on the lowly New Jersey Nets. He’s been on an unlikely run since, and because he’s obviously an expert on sports, Perez Hilton compared New York Knicks starting novelty to LeBron James (seriously, he compared the 4th string whose been cut twice to the guy who played his high school games on ESPN). Then, you know, until the Knicks played the Miami Heat last night. ESPN reports:

After the Knicks’ 102-88 loss to the Heat, New York Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin was at his locker with his head down. He finished with just as many turnovers (eight) as points — his lowest total since his sudden surge started against the Nets. Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony, whose locker was directly across from Lin’s, recognized Lin’s dejection, as did the other players, and they went over to comfort him. Due to the presence of Mario Chalmers, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Joel Anthony — a center who can move in every direction like a crab — Lin and backup point guard Baron Davis were suffocated on the perimeter. The Heat have a defensive system that thrives on airtight rotations and aggressively disrupting the pick-and-roll ball-handler (Lin and Davis). Lin said after the game that he couldn’t remember another game where it was hard just to dribble the ball. He said the Heat did a good job of forcing him left, which the book says is a weakness of his, and not letting him make the swing pass to disrupt the Heat’s defensive rotations. He said the next time he faces the Heat, he’ll look to make them work harder for 24 seconds and make sure his passes jump-start the Knicks’ offense better and are directed exactly where they need to go.

When players like this come out of nowhere, it’s for a reason. That’s because NBA scouts aren’t going to spend a lot of time going to Harvard to watch an Asian kid play basketball in between chess practices or AV Club meetings or whatever (maybe noodles). Jeremy Lin became the starter because the Knicks literally had no other choice, and combined with the shortened lockout season that gives teams hardly no time to prepare or practice, Lin caught some teams off guard. Now it’s been 20 days. And now he’s on other teams’ scouting reports. And once they read it, they’ll want to read it again an hour later BOOM SAVE AND PUBLISH.

Women gold digging? Get outta here:

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Mark Cuban Would Like To Have A Word

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“At the end of the day, all the people that’s rooting on me to fail, they gotta wake up to the same life they had before they woke up today. They got the same personal problems they had, today. And I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live, and continue to do the things I want to do for me and my family and be happy with that.” – LeBron James during his post-game interview last night

Stay classy, LeBron.

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LeBron James And Dwayne Wade Mock Dirk Nowitzki

During Game 4 of the 2011 NBA Finals, Dallas Maverick’s forward Dirk Nowitzki played through a 101 fever and a raging sinus infection to drop 21 points (10 in the fourth quarter) to tie the series 2-2. LeBron James had 8 points. So of course it would be a good idea for Lebron James and Dwayne Wade to make fun of Dirk before Game 5. You know, until Game 5 happened. When Chris Bosh had to guard him. Be sure to watch 2:21- 3:00 of the video below. Chris Bosh should have asked somebody in the stands if they had a sword so he could fall on it.

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LeBron James. Attention Whore.

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Because it’s 2003 and he has to decide whether he wants to play for Roy Williams or Thad Matta, LeBron James will make an announcement in an hour-long special Thursday night on ESPN, starting at 9 p.m. Eastern. No, I meant he will make an announcement on WHO HE WILL SIGN WITH IN FREE AGENCY. ProBasketballTalk reports:

LeBron and his people will sell sponsorships of the show, with the money going to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, according to ESPN. There is no work yet on where LeBron will be during the announcement. A national television announcement with money going to a national charity — hard to read too much into that about where LeBron might play next year. It doesn’t have the hometown feel of Cleveland though, does it? What you can read into this — it takes a pretty big ego to ask ESPN for an hour like that. There is potential for backlash, something LeBron saw when he did the Larry King interview during the NBA finals.

LeBron James and Kobe Bryant are the closest things to artists in the NBA, so if James wants to do this, screw it, let him do it. He plays for the Cavaliers. Half of that team have never held a basketball before, yet they’ve been in the playoffs every year except for his rookie year. They showed his high school games on ESPN for chrissakes. If I was LeBron James, I’d make this announcement in my gigantic pool riding a Great White shark with an iced out grill.

Preemptive strike: Shut up, Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki homers. They’re white boys who can ball. You’d have a better chance of seeing a unicorn. And Boston fans, please. Rajon Rondo is the best player on your team. I say all of this with love.

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