Daddy Issues

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Montana Fishburne called her father, actor Laurence Fishburne, yesterday. You’ll never guess how it turned out. TMZ reports:

Montana says Laurence told her she is unwelcome in his life and wants nothing to do with her … at least for now. According to Montana, her dad said, “I’m not going to speak with you ’till you turn your life around.” Laurence was referring to his daughter joining the ranks of Vivid Entertainment as a porn star. Montana says Laurence added, “You embarrassed me.” And this parting shot. According to Montana, Laurence said, “You used your last name. No one uses their real name in porn.”

Montana Fishburne has been arrested for prostitution and assault. And she’s signing a deal with Vivid that will guarantee her money in exchange for loads of cum in her face. Embarrassing? Yeah. That’s one way to say it. Laurence Fishburne could slip on a banana peel during halftime at the Super Bowl and get taken off stage by one of those giant hook things while getting hit in the face with a pie and it would be the least embarrassing thing that’s happened to him in a year.

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Montana Fishburne Was A Prostitute



I know it may seem implausible that a chick who stars in films such as Phattys Rhymes & Dimes 14 and tells anybody who will listen that her life dream is to be creampied in high-definition 16:9 widescreen would ever rent her vagina by the hour to anyone with acceptable currency, but it seems life can be crazy sometimes, my friends. Splash News reports:
The documents from the Los Angeles Superior Court show that Montana Fishburne, 19, was arrested for prostitution in November 2009 and is still on probation from her conviction. Fishburne was arrested on November 25, the day before Thanksgiving, in the “Hollywood area” on a violation of California Penal Code 647(b), which prohibits prostitution or solicitation. After two continuances, Fishburne pleaded nolo contendre (no contest) and was sentenced to 104 hours toward the California beautification project, 15 days of community service, an AIDS test, STD education, and two years probation.

Ok, we get it. Montana Fishburne has the word “whore” covered in the figurative and literal sense. Christ. If ran an adoption agency, I’d let a velociraptor or Casey Anthony’s mom take a little girl home before Laurence Fishburne.

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Montana Fishburne Has Done Porn Before

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Earlier today, TMZ reported actor Laurence Fishburne offered Vivid Entertainment $1M to buy every single copy of his daughter’s unreleased porn made to look like a sex tape in order to save his family from embarrassment. Man, I wonder where that money was when Phattys Rhymes & Dimes 14 came out. You know, his daughter’s FIRST porn. I appreciate Laurence finally realizing he has a kid and trying to do the right thing, but good luck trying to reel in somebody who said, “I am not in porn to get into acting. I am in porn because I wanted to be in porn.” Laurence Fishburne trying to make his daughter stop taking loads in the face on camera is like Jefrey Dahmer’s father trying to get him to audition a vegetarian cooking show. Something tells me things might not go as planned.

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Montana Fishburne Keeps It Real, Whorish

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In recent years, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Shauna Sand, and Kendra Wilkinson have all claimed to have had private sex tapes stolen as part of their backroom deal with the distribution company to generate interest and maximize their cut of the profits. To which Montana Fisburne, actor Laurence Fishburne’s 19-year old daughter, replied “fuck all that. I don’t have all damn day, you know.”

TMZ has learned Montana Fishburne is starring in a porno flick for Vivid Entertainment — explaining, “I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape.” Unlike the celeb she admires — Montana is not arguing that her tape was stolen or obtained illegally. We’re told the flick is set to be released in August. Montana also talked to CarltonJordan.com about her new gig, saying “The first time is really nerve racking … but, I have a lot of at-home experience.”

To make matters worse, the guy in the sex tape is Brian Bumper. An actual porn star. Christ, this chick doesn’t mess around. I’ve seen public executions that were more subtle than this.

Cowboy Curtis is shocked at the news:

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