Donna Says She’s Not Dating Tom Cruise
Donna Says She’s Not Dating Tom Cruise

 

Xenu will kill you for this. Not fast, but oh so slowly.

"The thing that sucks is that there's so much false data because people are in mystery as to what Scientology is, so they just kind of make up stuff," Prepon said. "It's kind of unfortunate because then I have to be like, 'No, that's actually not what's happening.'" "It's just so funny that, when people don't know, they just make stuff up, [like], apparently I'm dating Tom Cruise right now. And apparently he doesn't want me doing the show because I portray a lesbian and I'm a Scientologist. This is false; where are they even getting this stuff? It's unbelievable to me."

Laura Prepon has to explain Scientology, because like all religions, shit just doesn't make any sense. An alien warlock bombed a volcano? Cool. Sorry, gotta run. God killed his son on Friday and he rose three days later except he rose on Sunday? Isn't that, like, two days? My math might not be right, but I think that's two days. That's definitely two days. It's hard to take you seriously when your myth relies on fuzzy math. Anyway, Laura Prepon didn't really say she's not dating Tom Cruise, so they might be. Or they might not be. Why are you even worried about it? Go do something productive with your day.

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Tom Cruise Is Dating Donna
Tom Cruise Is Dating Donna

 

I'd like to read more about Xenu's match for them at Scientology Mingle.

Tom Cruise hasn’t been lonely since breaking up with Katie Holmes. He’s been secretly dating fellow Scientologist Laura Prepon, who plays a lesbian drug dealer on “Orange Is the New Black.” P.R. reps for the two denied any romance in November after the actors were spotted enjoying a cozy dinner at the Manor Hotel in Los Angeles. However, my source on the Left Coast says Cruise and Prepon are still seeing each other, but they are being extremely careful to keep it secret. “It’s the buzz on the set of her show,” the insider told me.

1990s sitcom: Katie Holmes. 2000s sitcom: Laura Prepon. If Kat Dennings ever joins Scientology well then there you go.

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