Lana Del Rey Is One Of The Witches Casting An Impeachment Spell On Trump
Lana Del Rey Is One Of The Witches Casting An Impeachment Spell On Trump

 

So you know those witches who are casting spells to bind Donald Trump until he’s impeached? Yeah, Lana Del Rey is one of them. 2017 is great.

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James Franco Might Have Head-Butted Some Dude Over Lana Del Rey
James Franco Might Have Head-Butted Some Dude Over Lana Del Rey

 

A photographer is suing James Franco because in 2014 he was at a Lana Del Rey concert, and if I’m reading this right, James Franco was high as shit on something.

David Tonnessen says he was snapping photos of Lana at Hollywood Forever Cemetery in 2014 when Franco, unprovoked, viciously charged and head-butted him in the stomach. According to the docs … Franco was “smiling, rather demonically” when Tonnessen first spotted him, and then — with a “blank expression of joy on his face” … knocked him to the ground. Tonnessen says he was hospitalized and suffered permanent injuries. He’s suing for medical expenses and other damages. We’ve reached out to Franco, so far no word back.

I have no idea where this story is gonna go, but here’s some pics of Lana Del Rey in 2014. Doesn’t seem worth it.

 

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Lana Del Rey Is Playing Two Shows At A Cemetery
Lana Del Rey Is Playing Two Shows At A Cemetery

 

Lana Del Rey always looks like she’s mid-roofie and her music sounds like Heroin: The Musical. Also, she could get it. Also again, she’s playing two gigs at Hollywood Forever Cemetery in October. Some people are mad about it.

Lana Del Rey’s latest album Ultraviolence has been accused of being gloomy, doomy and outright dark. Now she’s out to prove her critics right by announcing a pair of concerts at a cemetery. The American artist will play two special shows at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery on Oct. 17 and 18 in support of her latest Polydor/Interscope album. Del Rey’s choice of venue will surely raise eyebrows, though she’s certainly done her homework.

You know whose eyebrows won’t be raised? All the dead people buried in the cemetery. Because dead people can’t really raise anything because they’re dead. If they could raise stuff they wouldn’t be buried there, so I don’t think they’ll care too much about Lana performing a concert on top of them. They don’t care about anything, because I just pointed out, they’re dead and when your dead your brain doesn’t work. It’s kinda just chillin in your skull until worms or whatever find a way to get to it, then it’s Aaron’s Party up in your head except instead of people the party is with worms and stuff like that (come get it). And let’s just say there’s one dead person who isn’t really dead and they’re awake in the casket. It’ s still cool, because Lana will put him back to sleep by say, like, the third song.

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Lana Del Rey Had Sex To Get A Record Deal, Didn’t Get One
Lana Del Rey Had Sex To Get A Record Deal, Didn’t Get One

 

In the August/September 2014 issue of Complex magazine, Lana Del Rey discusses her track “Fucked My Way To The Top”, which she apparently meant ironically  (things hipsters like), because she’s banged everyone in the record industry and that didn’t help.

“It’s commentary, like, ‘I know what you think of me,’ and I’m alluding to that. You know, I have slept with a lot of guys in the industry, but none of them helped me get my record deals. Which is annoying.”

I really don’t think anything about Lana Del Rey besides her manager is missing out on a great revenue stream by not exclusively playing her music in methadone clinics, but now I know she’s pretty much a dead lay. Because, like, that’s what she just alluded to. Which is also annoying.

 

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Lana Del Rey Says Feminism Is ‘Just Not An Interesting Concept’
Lana Del Rey Says Feminism Is ‘Just Not An Interesting Concept’

 

I'm in love.

Lana Del Rey opened up in a recent interview, denouncing feminism and discussing a mystery illness that afflicted her while touring in support of her 2012 debut Born to Die. Regarding her views on gender equality, she told Fader, "For me, the issue of feminism is just not an interesting concept. . . Whenever people bring up feminism, I'm like, god. I'm just not really that interested." She went on to say, "I'm more interested in, you know, SpaceX and Tesla, what's going to happen with our intergalactic possibilities." Lana Del Rey's Odd 'Summertime Sadness' Success When asked more about her feelings on feminism, she defined the word. "My idea of a true feminist is a woman who feels free enough to do whatever she wants." And when the interviewer followed up that statement by asking her why she's often choked in her videos, she said, "I like a little hardcore love."

First, it's obvious that Lana Del Rey has access to some kickass drugs, but didn't she just say feminism is when a woman can do whatever she wants? So what exactly is the problem? Because if you're more concerned with whether or not a person finds your concept interesting rather than what she believes your concept actually means, then you're kind of a dick. And she's right, feminism isn't really all that interesting, because depending on who you ask, it's either about "women's equality" or "gender equality" then you have male femisnists and everything gets confusing then you get mad when I don't hold the door for you and your message gets kinda lost. I'm not sure why we haven't figured out that everything women and other minority groups want is already covered by the 14th amendment, but we're talking about women here, so it's alway less stressful when you make them feel important or that they're included in your plans besides showing up at a specific time so you can bang them. It sucks women still don't receive equal pay for equal work, but it usually ends up working itself out and you have a ton of fall back options. For example, if your job isn't paying you enough and you need some time to think about your next move, just get pregnant and your job will pay you to take vacation! That's pretty cool, right?!  Or just meet a rich guy, marry him, then hope he cheats on you. That's residual montly income right there. And if he refuses to pay, you can always say he's "not a real man" and embarrass him so he pays you! Maybe even more if you shut up about it! Or if you buy into the patriarchy and general consensus of doctors about living a healthy lifestyle to maintain an attractive body, people will actually pay you to let them see it on stage! You can make like $1,000 just for one song! That's really awesome. And if none of these options appeal to you, you can keep your job and save a lot of money due to the societal obligation that states men pay for all your dates. Dates can really add up, so think of all the money you're saving! That money can be better served for Starbucks or when H&M has a sale, especially for all the pumpkin spice. Ladies, you know I love you, but I feel like I didn't cover everything. Did I cover everything? Oh yeah, the engagement ring you can sale if true love doesn't work out. That's a pretty big one. Cha-ching!!

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Katy Perry And Lana Del Rey Really Like Each Other



Katy Perry and Lana Del Rey were in Germany last night for some German award show probably about beer or murder, and they just happened to run into each other in full view of cameras. So what do two completely fabricated, label creations do when they meet to maximize a photo op? Ooohhh, whatever comes natural, baby.

Pic source = WENN

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Lana Del Rey Is A Great Performer

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Despite the fact that she doesn’t even have an album released , “singer” and internet sensation Lana Del Rey (born Elizabeth Grant in New York City to domain investor and millionaire Rob Grant) was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live last weekend. Long story short, she sucked. And Twitter is great:

Juliette Lewis: “Wow watching this ‘singer’ on SNL is like watching a 12 year old in their bedroom when they’re pretending to sing and perform. #signofourtimes,”

Eliza Dushku: “Who…..is…..this wack-a-doodle chick performing on #SNL..? Whaaaa?”

Drunk Hulk: “DRUNK HULK PREFER DRINK TO BE LIKE LANA DEL REY! TALL! AND STIFF!”

As you watch the videos below, please know that this chick didn’t down a bottle of Xanax then have a stroke and get punched in the vocal cords before she came on stage. I only bring that up because that might be your immediate reaction.

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