David Bowie Didn’t Die For This Bullshit
David Bowie Didn’t Die For This Bullshit


As soon as I heard that Lady Gaga was going to do a David Bowie tribute at the Grammys, I pretty much knew it was going to be some self-masturbatory Cirque Du Soleil bath house cabaret shit where she Christina Aguilera’d every damn word, but little did I know it would be a self-masturbatory Cirque Du Soleil bath house cabaret shit where she Christina Aguilera’d every damn word while sucking Intel’s cock and somehow mixing up Bowie with Elvis. 


Commence with the bullshit here:



Also not a fan, David Bowie’s son, Duncan Jones. Who Lady Gaga fans proceeded to call “disrespectful”. Not like his dad died a month ago or anything. Go fuck yourselves.

Yeah, sorry. I’m upset. I’ll get over it. But this is what you get for telling Lady Gaga she can sing. 


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Lady Gaga Scared The Shit Out Of Leonardo DiCaprio At The Golden Globes
Lady Gaga Scared The Shit Out Of Leonardo DiCaprio At The Golden Globes


Not only did Leonardo DiCaprio win Best Actor at the Golden Globes tonight, he also won Best Reaction To Lady Gaga Winning An Acting Award For Some Reason IDK. In his defense, Lady Gaga is like 250 pounds more than he’s used to touching. He probably thought she was that bear. 




[ h/t Dlisted ]

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Lady Gaga Wore This For Some Reason, Links

Olga Kurylenko naked for Terry Richardson (NSFW) The Nip Slip

Rose McGowan still has a massive rack (NSFWTaxi Driver Movie

Mirand Kerr has a new photoshoot. Happy Friday.  Hollywood Tuna

Chris Pratt wants you to objectify him more  Dlisted

Paulina Gretzky: MILF   The Superficial

Kate Upton’s ass was taken hostage  Popoholic

Minka Kelly has nice hair. Very nice hair. Moe Jackson

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Lady Gaga Is Still A Thing

Hey, everybody remember Lady Gaga? She was that one singer who had those songs in 2009? Remember she liked to wear dumb shit? Coming back to you now? Ok, good. Apparently she’s still alive an still wearing dumb shit. She looks like Black Swan if Black Swan found an overturned Twinkie truck. I guess that’s still big in London.

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Lady Gaga Is Super Into Yoga Selfies
Lady Gaga Is Super Into Yoga Selfies

As you already know, yoga positions don’t count unless your phone has a camera timer or you have somebody to take your picture so you can post it on social media, so here’s Lady Gaga and her gigantic ass in the saddest yoga studio I’ve ever seen. So yeah, here’s her ass if you’re into that kind of thing. It might scare some of you, but not as much as it scares her toilet. She invested in a lot of pizza for this ass.

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Lady Gaga Dressed Up Like The Klan

They’re pretty liberal in Paris, so I don’t think they minded too much when Lady Gaga dressed up as a Klan member for Halloween. Or a ghost. I can’t really tell. She’s kinda fat now, so maybe a sheet was the only thing that would fit. Also, remember Lady Gaga? 2009 was pretty great. I mean, despite Lady Gaga. I just said that because she was big around that time. She’s bigger now as you can see in these pictures obviously.

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Lady Gaga Has “Altitude Sickness”
Lady Gaga Has “Altitude Sickness”

Lady Gaga was hospitalized in Denver for altitude sickness, because I guess she’s never been high that high up before, so she decided to take a selfie in the hospital. You can’t tell from the picture, but that’s a special type of mask that pumps attention into the patient’s lungs.

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Lady Gaga Is Very Fashionable

Lady Gaga being Lady Gaga, she wore four different outfits yesterday for some reason and here is one of them for her performance at Roseland. Why doesn't her father love her? Why doesn't he call her? We should really get to the bottom of this.

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Lady Gaga Let Some Chick Vomit On Her At SXSW

 

Look, I'm all about art for art's sake and self-expression through it, but apparently there is something called "vomit painting" that's, like, a real thing. Long story short, they vomit paint. Because, I don't know, their parents didn't hug them enough. So, naturally, Lady Gaga found one and let her vomit on her on stage during her performance at SXSW. R Kelly needs to step up his game. Pissing on underage girls is so 2009. TMZ reports:

Lady Gaga's antics are sometimes inducing, but this is ridiculous … last night at her SXSW show, she actually let some chick VOMIT ALL OVER HER while she performed. The vomiter is no amateur … she's actually a "vomit painter" (actual profession) named Millie Brown, who is known for drinking various liquids and then vomiting them up onto a canvas. In this case … the canvas was Lady Gaga. Gaga was playing drums on a song called "Swine" when Brown, after drinking neon green liquid, proceeded to stand over her, stick her fingers down her throat, and vomit the green liquid all over Gaga.

I made the mistake of drinking a protein shake whil watching the video, and let me tell you, it wasn't the most pleasant experience I've ever had. It wasn't very pleasant at all. Usually when somebody vomits green liquid on you they are possessed by by the devil or 100-pound white girl at a St. Patrick's Day bar crawl. They're pretty much the same thing.

 

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Lady Gaga Is Very Charitable. Not Really.
Lady Gaga Is Very Charitable. Not Really.

 

If you have a favorite celebrity who fronts a charity or a "foundation", please know that most of that money goes to friends and family and jetskis and dolphin steaks sauteed in baby penguin blood and champagne. Little to none, of course, goes to the actual people it claims to help. So, clutch your pearls, because Lady Gaga's Born This Way Foundation, which is "dedicated to creating a safe community that helps connect young people with the skills and opportunities they need to build a kinder, braver world", is merely an ATM that never runs out of her money for her and her mom. Sorry, young people expected to be connected with skills and opportunities they need to build a kinder, braver world. Lady Gaga only got 5 on it.

The foundation, which lists Gaga’s lovely mom, Cynthia Germanotta, as president, had a lot of expenses in 2012 that had nothing to do with helping anyone. They spent $300,000 on “Strategic Consulting (web, digital),” $62,836 on “Stage Productions (Harvard, LA, UN),” $50,000 on “Social Media,” and another almost $50,000 on “Event Coordination.” What? Born this Way also spent: $808,661 on “other”; $406,552 on “Legal”; $150,000 on “Philanthropic Consulting”; $60,000 on “research”; 58,768 on “Publicity fees”; $78,000 on “travel”. They spent $72,000 on salaries– presumably for running the Born this Way bus, although that episode had its own expense line. Under ‘grants to organizations or individuals”: $ 5000. Five thousand dollars. They claimed net assets of $2.1 million. Donations came to $2.6 million, up from $1.4 million in 2011. But there’s no detailed listing of contributors or donations. I suspect most of the money came from Lady Gaga’s earnings.  Where it went, and why it went there, is a mystery still.

So $2M in assets and $5K actually donated to charity. Miranda Kerr donated more than that to non-humans. And please keep in mind this is Lady Gaga. "Charity" is probably a transgendered stripper who needed hormone injections and some new weaves.

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