Sir GaGa Was On Gossip Girl



Apparently I can talk about everybody except gays and Jews on here before people start getting all butt hurt, so that pretty much ruins what I was going to say about homeboy’s appearance on Gossip Girl last night. It looks like a commercial for a dating hotline that connects you with single transvestites in your area. Seriously, does any dude think this thing is hot? If so, look at the pictures and tell me again? Because if looking at that makes you want to have sex, maybe you should see if your hairdresser Leon has any single friends he might be able to put you in contact with you fucking homo.

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The VMAs Were Last Night



As you might have already guessed, the 2009 MTV VMAs were last night and since I’m not a 14-year old cutter with bangles and daddy didn’t love me hair, I missed it. Sorry about that. Mostly because I was wondering if Jake Delhomme would be a better quarterback with both of his arms chopped off. Hey, we gotta try something!

Some people who were there:

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Lady Ga Ga Has (Signed) A Penis

Concerts are an interesting place. In most circumstances, whipping out your limp man rod and asking someone to John HanCOCK it is frowned upon. Believe me, I know.

As opposed to backstage, where this behavior is apparently fine:

“I feel embarrassed saying this but the strangest thing I ever autographed was a man’s penis,” [Lady Ga Ga] laughs.

The 23-year-old “Just Dance” star was left red-faced singer when a smitten admirer made the X-rated request following a performance in Canada.

“I was doing a meet and greet backstage in Canada. I had enough room to write Lady GaGa but I don’t really remember. I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Maybe it is still there – who knows? It was a permanent marker too!”

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B*tch, Take It!

If you do not respect Lady Ga Ga while he is performing…if you mess up the choreography in the slightest, he will remember with his elephant-like brain and make sure you get your comeuppance. One day, when you’re just doing your job…POW! Straight to the moon, Alice.

Then, he will continue to hump the air as you search for your tooth.

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Battlestar Linklactica

In honor of the Battlestar Galactica series finale tonight, I give you Tricia Helfer’s Playboy spread, because I can’t make you like geeky sci-fi, but I can show you why you should. Check out all 19 NSFW images HERE.

This guy’s job is worse than mine. I’m also guessing he’s a Republican. You’ll see why…[EbaumNation]

It’s a Lady GaGa nip slip! Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

Courtney Cox is a striped cougar on her TV series Cougar Town, which I will probably wath…on mute. [LaineyGossip]

People already tell me I look like a sex doll. Why do I need a jacket that helps? Maybe if the jacket worked as a sex doll… [CityRag]

Someone explains Robert Pattinson‘s sex appeal, which surprisingly doesn’t mention hair product. [ImNotObsessed]

Time for a good ole fashioned White House Grave Digging! [BWE]

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Links And Order In The Court!

This was the most exciting meeting of the Medina City Council ever. [BestWeekEver]

Lady GaGa does his/her best to eradicate the need for pants on The View. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

Jennifer Lopez is meeting with her manager, which means sometime in the near future my eyes and/or ears will spontaneously start to bleed. [LaineyGossip]

Sienna Miller was hurt during a catfight on the set of GI Joe. [ImNotObsessed]

If you didn’t see Watchmen, but you do want to see Malin Akerman’s nipples as she has sex in the Owl Ship, this link is for you. [Egotastic]

Kristin Stewart is going to stop making Twilight movies for long enough to ruin the memory of Joan Jett. [ICYDK]

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Lady GaGa’s Pretty Tempting

Lady GaGa is posing for you, and this makes me nervous. Don’t get me wrong, the woman’s skin looks flawless, and we’re suckers for the light pink lipstick against the skin, but something is up with Lady GaGa. I’m getting a bit of a tranny vibe, and that freaks me out.

Trust me, the last thing you ever want to experience in life is your own personal Crying Game moment.

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Really? This Is What We’re Doing Now?

I’m told this woman is Lady GaGa, a pop star I should care about, though all I see when I look at these photos is a Japanese transvestite cyborg. Paint Ashlee Wentz-Simpson orange and give her a Minnie Mouse bow made out of human hair, and this is basically what she’d look like.

I was silent about Kanye West sunglasses that didn’t shield your eyes from the sun, and I kept quiet for years while Ashton Kutcher lead the trucker hat trend straight into the ground, but I will draw the line here: If I’m supposed to use my hair to artistically represent something else, everyone can just go f— themselves, ’cause I’m not doing it.

Hair should not look like other things. I think I have a t-shirt with that slogan on it.

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