Sex and The City is Empowering

Sex and the City was a groundbreaking show that ushered in a new era of female empowerment. The characters and he stars who played them are feminist heroes, who prove that a woman’s merit should not be based on her looks alone. Oh, wait. Scratch that. Page Six reports:

Maybe seeing themselves on the big screen was too much to take for “Sex and the City” stars Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis. Apparently, soon after the movie’s release, they both paid a visit to Roosevelt Hospital on 10th Avenue for minor surgeries. “Cynthia had a breast augmentation and soon after, Kristin had the varicose veins on her legs removed,” said an insider. “They both made sure they did it on the quietest day of the week.” It could explain why Davis always wears long hems. Nixon, whose rep denied the surgery, could have been disappointed with her topless scene. Davis’ rep had no comment.”

Wow, nothing says confident feminist icon like sneaking into a doctor’s office and secretly getting plastic surgery. Granted, all these chicks are hags, so why not Sarah Jessica Parker? The legend says our primitive tools and surgical techniques are no match for her sinister demonry. Run for your life!!

Kristin Davis on June 14th:

Cynthia Nixon on June 6th:

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Sex and the City Had Another Premiere

All the “uniquely beautiful” stars of Sex and the City were out in New York last night for the movie’s premiere, and boy did they get everybody super turned on. Sarah Jessica Parker is looking so damn hot. Even hotter after I finish ironing her hands. Ooohhh…hello, lover…

Lots more Sex and the City New York Premiere pictures after the jump…

Photos: Splash

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Kristin Davis is an Alcoholic

In a interview with Health Magazine, Sex and The City actress, Kristin Davis, has revealed that she is a recovering alcoholic. I’ll also reveal that Sex and the City opens in theaters a week from Friday. Man, what lucky timing on this interview!

Q. You don’t drink at all?
A: No, I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’ve never hid it, but I’ve been sober the whole time I’ve been famous, so it wasn’t like I had to go to rehab publicly.

Q. So you pretend to sip Cosmos.
A: It’s caused a lot of confusion out in the world. I get sent many a Cosmo! I never drink them. I believe [alcoholism] is a disease. I don’t think you can mess with it. There was a time when people who didn’t know me well would say, “Couldn’t you just have one glass of champagne?” And I would say, “No.” I’m doing well. I still have occasional bad days. Why risk it?”

Whatever, quitter. I’m not a loser like you. This bottle cap just informed me that I’ve won a free Mountain Dew. I’m a big winner!

Kristin Davis arriving at Letterman last night:

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Sex and the City Premiered Last Night

The world premiere of Sex and the City movie was in London last night. Single women and gay men rejoice! New York Daily News reports:

It’s been nearly four years since “Sex and the City” went off the air. And, judging by the crowd reaction at the film’s London premiere on Monday, audiences are starved for more. “We love Carrie!” thousands of fans – most of them female – shouted outside Leicester Square. Despite public grumbling that the New York-centric film premiered outside the Big Apple, Sarah Jessica Parker, who revived her role as sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw in the film, said she was “thrilled” to open the movie in London. She did, however, note that New Line Cinema, which produced the film, decided to kick things off in the U.K.”

It’s unclear why they called this movie Sex and the City, because the last thing I want to do when I see any of this cast is have sex. Maybe go on an excavation. Sarah Jessica Parker looks like something taken out of a pharaoh’s tomb, and the rest of them look like the drawing of an abused child. I think it’s safe to say I’d rather watch zombies suck on my bone marrow than see this movie.

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Kristin Davis Sex Tape Update

I know some people refuse to believe that a star of Sex and the City would give a guy a blowjob and let him take pictures while he had sex with her, but more information is starting to come out that solidifies the belief that these pictures are indeed real. TMZ reports:

The photos, we’re told, were snapped in 1992 by an ex-boyfriend. That’s right, they are just photos — no sex tape, fellas! According to reports, 20 photos are making the rounds, but actually it’s not quite 20. We’re told the ex-boyfriend was pissed at Kristin and then sold the photos to a third party. Classy, huh? The third party got involved in a business venture with another guy and we’re told that guy pilfered the pics and they ended up online.”

To be safe, if anybody asks Kristin if it’s really her in these pictures, she should immediately put on a Kim Cattrall mask and ask them if they see any resemblance. Then they would just have to shake their head and walk off because her superior logic would have won the day.

Click the thumbnails below to view the larger, very NSFW photos:

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