Bella Thorne Really Wants To Bang A Girl, Specifically Kristen Stewart
Bella Thorne Really Wants To Bang A Girl, Specifically Kristen Stewart

 

I really don’t understand the appeal of Kristen Stewart. She’s like a lesbian jar of mayonnaise. And not even chipotle mayonnaise. But she’s currently banging this right now, and apparently Bella Thorne is waiting for her turn.

Speaking to Harper’s Bazaar, the actress, who announced she was bisexual in 2016, revealed that she’d love to date Stewart if she had the chance. “She’s so hot. She seems like the raddest chick, I’d be so down,” Thorne gushed.

Also, Bella Thorne has never sounded more like a confused dude.

“I’ve done other stuff with girls, but I really want to actually date a girl,” Thorne shared. “Maybe girls just don’t like me… I can’t tell if a girl is hitting on me or she just wants to be friends. And I don’t want to flirt with a girl if she thinks I’m just being her friend. What if I kiss a girl and she’s like ‘Oh, I’m just your friend dude, I can’t believe you just crossed that boundary.’ I’m confused on what they want from me!”

I feel you, Bella. I feel you. Bella Thorne, who may or may not be a low key crackhead, is still kinda hot, so Kristen should hit that up at some point. Then record it on her phone. Then upload to the iCloud by mistake. Then I can go to another site and watch it, because I’m not really above doing that.

 

 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Kristen Stewart Looks Great

Not entirely sure what’s going on with Kristen Stewart, but she came out recently and I guess her hair felt left out. The least she could do is dye her hair red to support all the women who have the luxury of taking the day off today.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kristen Stewart Is Banging Stella Maxwell

I guess we’ve kinda known Kristen Stewart was banging Stella Maxwell since last month. Sorry, they are just “rumored” to be banging. I assume Kristen Stewart’s vagina hopes the rumors are true, because this what Stella Maxwell looks like in photoshoots. She also likes to get fingered against buses. She also apparently has a type. Bony, awkward white girls who really love weed. Anyway, here’s them leaving Lassens Natural Foods & Vitamins in Los Feliz yesterday. The gay agenda looks pretty boring.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Kristen Stewart Might Be Married To Her Girlfriend
Kristen Stewart Might Be Married To Her Girlfriend


In an interview with The Mirror, Kristen Stewart‘s mom told everybody that Kristen was dating her personal assistant, Alicia Cargile. Apparently Kristen told everybody at the American Ultra premiere that they were married.


(more…)

Related Posts:

Tags:
Here’s Kristen Stewart Smiling I Think

Kristen Stewart attended the America Ultra premiere in LA last night, and based on these pictures, she discovered a new strain of weed like 30 minutes before. She even did the dance of her people. This new strain of weed has yet to show benefits in that area. Further study is needed.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kristen Stewart Is Dating Her Chick Assistant

Rachel Dolezal should take out her box braids and get some Neutrogena face wipes then go be white with Kristen Stewart, because they have a struggle in common: parents who blow up their spot.

The star’s mum also opened up about her daughter’s new relationship. Jules Stewart has given her blessing to the relationship, which comes two years after Kristen, 25, split from long-term love Robert Pattinson, 29. Jules, 55, told the Sunday Mirror she has met personal assistant Alicia Cargile and that the couple are very happy together. She added: “What’s not to be accepting about her now having a girlfriend? She’s happy. “She’s my daughter, I’m just her mom so she knows I would accept her choices. “I’ve met Kristen’s new girlfriend, I like her. What’s not to accept? She’s a lovely girl.

Kristen Stewart once banged a married guy in a car in full view of anyone who wanted to walk by, so being seen with walking down the street with her lesbian girlfriend, probably doesn’t bother her too much. Mostly because Kristen Stewart smokes a lot of weed.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kristen Stewart Did The Ice Bucket Challenge Wrong

 

Since Kristen Stewart hates everything, she accepted Anne Hathaway‘s challenge to dump ice water on her head to cure ALS, by enlisting  her Equals co-star Nicholas Hoult and some dude named Scott Fahrendorf.  Then, uhhh…

“Hathaway, get this. This is a f–king real challenge,” Stewart tells the camera before the three dunk their faces into buckets of ice water, and hold their fully submerged heads under for about 10 seconds, before dumping the remaining water all over themselves. At the end of the video, Stewart notes that the challenge was done with “dirty bathwater,” and asks viewers to “Please be considerate of California water conservation.”

Man, that was really profound. They held their heads in a bucket for 10 seconds,  then dumped a bunch of water while preaching about water conservation. I think we can all agree that the world is a better place right now.

 

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kristen Stewart Seems Pretty Chill

 

Kristen Stewart supposedly smokes a lot of weed, but apparently she's out, because she went had a sense of entitlement tantrum yesterday when she told a photographer, "You're a piece of shit, you don't deserve to breathe the same air as I do". Then she called him a "fuckface". Yes, she's correct. A photographer doing his job doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as a chick who starred in four Twilight movies. I honestly don't know why she would act like this. I mean, the guy was obviously directing this video himself. Shouldn't she have blown him in the car?

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kristen Stewart Is Playing A Soldier. Okay.

With her lifeless eyes and dead, pale skin, somebody thought it would be a good idea to cast Kristen Stewart as an American soldier. Oh, Hollywood. Anyway, the movie is called Camp X-Ray and IMDB tells me it's about, "a young soldier escapes her suffocating small town by joining the military, only to find that she isn't going for a tour of duty in Iraq as she hoped. Instead, she's sent to Guantanamo. Met with hatred and abuse from the Muslim men in her charge, she forges an odd friendship with a young man who has been imprisoned at Gitmo for eight years then gives the married director blowies between takes in his car."  Sounds pretty good. Maybe I'll Redbox it.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Kristen Stewart Looks Great

Kristen Stewart showed up to the Zuhair Murad fashion show looking like she had a black cellmate. She's also wearing sheer pants or something. That must be what married directors in France like. Get it guuuurrlll.

Related Posts:

Tags: