Kim Kardashian Said If She Wasn’t Famous She’d Be A Forensics Investigator
Kim Kardashian Said If She Wasn’t Famous She’d Be A Forensics Investigator


Kanye West can’t afford to buy a real Vogue cover for him and Kim anymore, so thy had to go with their safety cover, Vogue Australia. And much like her sister, Kim Kardashian really shouldn’t be allowed to say things in interviews without a parent or guardian present. 

On her favourite quality in a man: “Humour.”

Totally. Besides music, Kanye West is best known for having a great sense of humor about himself and has never flew into a caps lock rage over an imagined slight. Maybe she likes him because he’s immortal

Also, LOL:

Appearing on her second Vogue Australia cover, Kardashian West also opened up about what she would want to be if she wasn’t one of the most recognised personalities in the world.  “I would be a forensic investigator and live a normal life.” 

I mean, her dad wasn’t the best forensic investigator. I feel that needs to be said. She can’t even Google “how to not make mirrors warp in Photoshop” before she posts selfies, so I don’t think I’d be confident in her ability to close cold cases unless she’s solving something about ice cream. I assume she has enough money to be Batman if she wanted, but utility belt can only hold so much makeup that it almost makes it not worth it.


Case in point:


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Kim Kardashian Is Still Trying, Guys
Kim Kardashian Is Still Trying, Guys



Kim Kardashian posted these pics on her social media that I’m still not paying for to promote Pat McGrath’s new makeup line, and in a shocking twist, Kim has cornrows and is wearing fur. Not sure where we’ve seen that before oh wait I know. This was probably Kanye’s idea since he doesn’t like to jack off with sound.

A photo posted by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

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Kim Kardashian Is A Great Wedding Guest

Since nothing can never be not about her, Kim Kardashian tweeted all these pics during a wedding she attended this weekend. This also happened while Lemonade was airing on HBO. Because this is what people really wanted to see. I wish the government would start airing live executions on TV so Kris Jenner would be forced to step her game up. Sorry, Rob and Khloe. 

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Kylie Jenner Is Also Empowered
 

A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on



Earlier this week, Kim Kardashian taught women if that they have an unlimited supply of money and surgeons who will do their work for free, that they too can be empowered and comfortable in their own skin. What a powerful message that every woman can relate to. Truly powerful. Her disciples are now going forth and preaching the good news. Like her sister, Kylie Jenner.


And if you squint your eyes and tilt your head to the side, these also become Kylie Jenner.


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Kim Kardashian Would Like To Lecture You On Female Empowerment Now
Kim Kardashian Would Like To Lecture You On Female Empowerment Now


Kim Kardashian, seen above before she felt empowered to visit a plastic surgeon, took to her blog (that you have to pay to read)  yesterday to celebrate International Women’s Day in the true Kardashian way: talking about herself. Of course, she addressed the backlash she received for posting yet another old ass, Photoshopped naked selfie, and she can’t understand why people hate her since she just wants to empower all the women of today. Let’s break it down, shall we? Take this journey with me, friends. (via Just Jared, who I guess pays to read the blog).

(more…)

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Bette Midler And Kim Kardashian Are In A Dumb ‘Twitter Feud’
Bette Midler And Kim Kardashian Are In A Dumb ‘Twitter Feud’


Kim Kardashian posted a naked selfie yesterday, because what else is she gonna do in between giving Kanye his meds and rehearsing new script updates for her reality show, then Bette Midler dropped this:

Where’s the lie? Don’t see it. Then apparently the magic in Kim Kardashian’s mirror stopped long enough for her to check Twitter, and I think Kanye had to ghost write her response since she hilariously overreacted: (more…)

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Kim Kardashian Is Naked. Again.

When you're like I have nothing to wear LOL

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on




I’m sure there will come a day in about 30 years when Kim Kardashian stops taking dimly lit naked selfies while strategically placing her arms to cover the door frame she warped in Photoshop, but until then, here’s this bullshit. I think every time a Kardashian gets naked it’s too distract us while Kris Jenner disposes of a body. You’re no fooling me, bitch.

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Amber Rose & Kim Kardashian Are Taking Selfies Together Now. That’s Cool.
 

Tea anyone?

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on



I assume Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian are in all black to mourn the passing of Kanye West, or Kanye forced them to do this. Probably Kris Jenner. Or Amber Rose signed off for Kim to use her likeness on Instagram. There’s so many filters, it might not even be Amber Rose. Could be Jalen Rose. We don’t know.  The key to setting aside differences is to find things you have in common with the other person. In this case, I’d guess it would going to the same Sam’s Club to buy their hand sanitizer. Or the fact that Kim’s sister and brother are now both stepparents to the same kid, and Kanye said he owned Wiz Kalifah’s kid which is Amber Rose’s kid, so that would mean Kim own’s half of Amber’s kid if her and Kanye ever get divorced. It can be a little confusing. No, wait. Sorry. I’m sorry. I forgot this was a reality show. 

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Kim Kardashian Is Naked & Links



The ocean is way too cold for Jessica Hart  (NSFW)  [ Taxi Driver Movie  ]

Jayden Smith is starting a cult  [ The Superficial  ]

Scott Weiland was found dead on his tour bus   [ Dlisted  ]

Day 3 of the LOVE calendar was Pamela Anderson  [ The Nip Slip  ]

Chloe Grace Moretz doing pilates  [  DrunkenStepfather  ]

Irina Shayk picture moment  [  Hollywood Tuna  ]

Taylor Swift took 125 people on vacation  [ The Blemish ]

Work on those tan line, Candice Swanepoel  Egotastic  ]

Shay Mitchell is fighting the war on Christmas  [  Moe Jackson  ]

Sandra Kubicka in a bikini  [  Popoholic  ]

Jessica Rafalowski is your model at midnight  [  Celebslam  ]

Basically every woman in porn is coming after James Deen  [  The Frisky  ]


Here’s a NSFW pic from the Kim Kardashian desert shoot. Go wild.



Shout out to Kim Kardashian irl tho:


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Kim Kardashian Was Cool With Lamar Odom Dying
Kim Kardashian Was Cool With Lamar Odom Dying


Earlier this week, I inaccurately predicted that Khloe Kardashian wouldn’t leave James Harden. Feel free to laugh then tell me about your Cubs’ prediction. Anyway, when I wrote that I guess it slipped my mind that she has a book to promote. Even though Lamar Odom injected heroin and coke into his dick in Las Vegas, Khloe Kardashian claims Odom has sworn off drugs and that’s why she called off the divorce. Kim Kardashian wishes Odom had done more drugs.

A source close to the 35-year-old tells RadarOnline.com exclusively, “Now that Lamar is going to be okay, Kim is back to her prior stance on the situation.” Meaning, “Kim is telling people she really feels that Khloe needs to let him go!’…But when Odom was in a coma at Sunshine Hospital in Las Vegas, Kim was one of the first family members to be by her sister’s side while preparing for the worst-case scenario. However, now that Odom is on his way back to a full recovery, Kim has once again jumped the fence. “Kim knows that Khloe loves Lamar, but she also knows how bad he hurt her over the course of the past couple of years,” the source tells Radar. “She is telling people she thinks that the fact that Khloe is giving up her entire life for him again is absolutely ridiculous.”

In Kim’s defense, she has a baby on the way, and it’s gonna be hard to make that a story arch when Kris Jenner is positioning Khloe as a savior who brought a drug addict back to life through the transformative power of love and prayer and a possible spin-off. How many times does Kim have to get naked to be shown some respect? This is some bullshit.


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