Ok, so Paper said, “For our winter issue, we gave ourselves one assignment: Break The Internet”. I don’t want to be the one to point this out, but in terms of breaking the Internet, you’re gonna have to do a lot better than photoshopping in her daughter’s waist on a 34-year old woman whose been married three times and using up the Earth’s supply of baby oil to cover up her ass that we’ve all seen a million times. The only thing that’s breaking is North West’s will when she gets her first iPad. I mean, say what you want about Iggy Azalea and Nicki Minaj doing the same thing, but at least they have shit on iTunes and Ticketmaster you can buy. Like, what exactly is Kim Kardashian promoting? Sequined garbage bags? Her fragrance? I don’t think honey-glazed ass crack is the best way to do that. I hope I’m not wrong. Is the Internet broke? I typing this online right now and Netflix is asking me if I want to continue watching X-Files so….
On a sidenote, remember when Keira Knightley posed topless only if they didn’t retouch her boobs? Kanye West would have to reboot Kim Kardashian in safe mode if she tried to do that.