This Is Worse Than Benghazi

While the fuckery of the GOP Debate was going on last night, Hilary Clinton posed for pictures with two of America’s most prominent job creators who need to do a better job of not shipping those jobs to China. I mean, she took selfies with Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian, because why not? She could take a selfie while holding the severed head of a lion with an aborted baby in it’s mouth. Next to her could be a Mexican who is still wet holding up the dead baby’s Social Security card and a thumbs up, and she’d still beat anybody who stood up there last night by 250 electoral votes. Why? You watched it last night, right? Oh, I also included Scott Walker’s reaction to this post below.

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Kim Kardashian’s Selfie Book Sold Dick

Remember that time Kim Kardashian released a book of her selfies and thought that was a good idea?

The book was released to much fanfare and social media promotion in May, and as of mid-July Kardashian was still promoting the book via Instagram posts. But reps for Nielsen Bookscan told Radar exclusively that so far, it has only sold 32,000 copies. That represents just 0.8% of Kardashian’s Instagram fans. (*Nielsen BookScan’s U.S. Consumer Market Panel currently covers approximately 85% of the print book market and continues to grow.) What’s more, the book is a critical flop online. Sitting at 1,607 in books, it’s ranked only 2.5 stars after 661 customer reviews. And those reviews have been scathing.

Nobody wants to look at Kim Kardashian’s face except maybe drag queens and out patient plastic surgery clinics, so let’s just a greet agree that Kanye bought 31,000 of these and had them buried. Just so we can fully grasp this, Kim Kardashian took her selfies off Instagram and put them in a book because she had her head up her ass far enough to think people would buy something. It’s like the Tidal of books.

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Kim Kardashian Is Embarrassing

I don’t know what kind of mirror Kim Kardashian has at home, but it obviously gets monthly direct deposits from Kanye. You’re pregnant. Take this shit off and give whatever this fabric is back to NASA or wherever place you stole it from that’s doing physics experiments with alien technology. Or this could be a dress Khloe wore to her middle school prom. That’s probably it. I don’t think we’re discovered alien technology yet.

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Kim Kardashian Did Rolling Stone For Some Reason
Kim Kardashian Did Rolling Stone For Some Reason

Besides Kanye West ripping the heads off all her dolls right now, there is really nothing good about Kim Kardashian being on the cover of Rolling Stone. The last time a person from the Soviet Republic was on the cover, it was because he blew up the Boston Marathon. I don’t what to know what this article is about, but it’s Rolling Stone which means something about Dave Grohl will get at least four paragraphs.

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Kim Kardashian Wore This, Links

CNN mistook a sex toy flag for an ISIS flag  Dlisted

Selena Gomez is topless, wet  The Superficial

Pretty sure this is Demi Lovato (NSFWTaxi Driver Movie

Jessica Simpson seems cold  DrunkenStepfather

Here’s a video of Shia LaBeouf freestyling   Hollywood Tuna

Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini, anyone?  The Nip Slip

Jennifer Lawrence has tight jeans  Popoholic

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Kim Kardashian Has A Tight Schedule, Dress

Kim Kardashian stepped out of the Anastasia Beverly Hills Salon in a tight dress Kanye laid out the night before, and for some reason the paparazzi have her surrounded the minute she stepped out. The minute stepped out in the dress that shows all her boobs and ass. How did they know to be there? Probably just got lucky and didn’t get a phone call with an address and time at all, I guess!

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Kim Kardashian Is Pregnant In Her Ass Again

Kim Kardashian could be pregnant with a minotaur and still wear crap like this, so we shouldn’t be really surprised when she wears this stuff because she’s basically gonna be Amy Poehler in Mean Girls when these kids grow up. I’m not trying to tell this chick what to wear, because Kanye does that, but she’s pregnant, right? Nobody is gonna be trying to hit this except Kanye and maybe a few German dudes. And at what point do we realize that she only gets pregnant so she can get naked in a magazine after? Y’all click that link? Y’all should click that link.

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Kim Kardashian Looks Great

Comcast doesn’t want me to make it today, but joke’s on you, Comcast. I’m posting Kim Kardashian pictures. Specifically, pictures of a 34-year old pregnant woman whose husband picks out her clothes and whose mom controls everything else her husband doesn’t. She’d make a good Duggar if she found Kourtney’s kid attractive. It’s unclear what she’s wearing here, but I just want to point out that this is the real life Kim Kardashian and not a wax sculpture. I think Kanye keeps that in the bathroom.

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Kim Kardashian Is Pregnant Again

Kris Jenner wasn’t gonna let Kim Kardashian announce her new plot device on anything other that her dumb show, but I guess the news here is that Kanye West stopped trying not to like pictures 63 weeks deep in Beyonce’s Instagram long enough to ejaculate into Kim Kardashian with the help of science because he womb is barren.

North West is going to be a big sister … Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting baby #2. After struggling to conceive, Kim made the big announcement Sunday night during “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” North was born on June 15, 2013, several weeks before her due date. Kanye and Kim have been trying for a second child for some time … visiting several different specialists and fertility doctors. No word yet on how far along she is or the sex of the baby.

Nature and her uterus didn’t want Kim Kardashian and Kanye West to breed again, but science allowed this to happen. No wonder Republicans hate science so much. I get it now. Also, if it’s twins, I hope they named them Wild and Wild.

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Anti-Fur People Crashed Kim Kardashian’s Selfie Book Signing
Anti-Fur People Crashed Kim Kardashian’s Selfie Book Signing

I think we’re about three years away as a society from literally nothing being socially acceptable, but Kim Kardashian should have never been socially acceptable so I’m fully okay with anti-fur activists showing up at her “Selfie” book signing at a NYC Barnes & Nobles are screaming stuff like, ““You are the most disgusting human being on this planet!” and “anally electrocuted”. Kim Kardashian kept smiling  and signing during this whole thing  because nobody can change her settings since only Kris Jenner and Kanye have her remote. Kanye hasn’t said anything about this yet because it didn’t happen to Beyonce.

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