Kim Kardashian Is Steak High Fashion

Kim Kardashian is a hard working businesswoman with not enough hours in the day to take more than 1,500 selfies, but she hit up Prime 112 steakhouse in Miami to eat steak in these clothes. I would say the other customers were offended by this, but this is in South Beach. They probably think she’s just a defective clone of somebody who actually lives in South Beach that got lost. 

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Here’s Kim Kardashian Twerking In A Pool
Here’s Kim Kardashian Twerking In A Pool


You probably won’t believe this, but Kim Kardashian had someone take a video of her ass then she posted it on social media. So unlike her. Not her style.


 

In honor of @styledbyhrush birthday a month ago LOL she taught me how to twerk on this trip so I’m posting it for her

A video posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

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RIP Taylor Swift (2009 – 2016)
RIP Taylor Swift (2009 – 2016)


Woo boy. Pour yourself some tea, and PLEASE JOIN ME BELOW AS WE WATCH THE CARNAGE BURN TO THE GROUND.

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Taylor Swift Already Has A Kim Kardashian Diss Song Locked And Loaded
Taylor Swift Already Has A Kim Kardashian Diss Song Locked And Loaded


Taylor Swift is a noted feminist who supports other women only if they support her unconditionally, so you knew it would only be a matter of time before she took out her rustic wood burn book with recycled paper and wrote a song about Kim Kardashian once Kim dared to open her mouth to GQ and ruining Taylor’s Nicholas Sparks movie poster

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Kim Kardashian Did GQ
Kim Kardashian Did GQ


Hey, guys. It’s Kim Kardashian kinda sorta naked in a magazine again. I just saw this today, so it could have came out yesterday or five years ago. It’s hard to keep track. She’s kinda naked a lot, huh? It’s almost like that’s all she has to offer the world. Weird.


[  pics via = GQ  ]

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Kim Kardashian Said If She Wasn’t Famous She’d Be A Forensics Investigator
Kim Kardashian Said If She Wasn’t Famous She’d Be A Forensics Investigator


Kanye West can’t afford to buy a real Vogue cover for him and Kim anymore, so thy had to go with their safety cover, Vogue Australia. And much like her sister, Kim Kardashian really shouldn’t be allowed to say things in interviews without a parent or guardian present. 

On her favourite quality in a man: “Humour.”

Totally. Besides music, Kanye West is best known for having a great sense of humor about himself and has never flew into a caps lock rage over an imagined slight. Maybe she likes him because he’s immortal

Also, LOL:

Appearing on her second Vogue Australia cover, Kardashian West also opened up about what she would want to be if she wasn’t one of the most recognised personalities in the world.  “I would be a forensic investigator and live a normal life.” 

I mean, her dad wasn’t the best forensic investigator. I feel that needs to be said. She can’t even Google “how to not make mirrors warp in Photoshop” before she posts selfies, so I don’t think I’d be confident in her ability to close cold cases unless she’s solving something about ice cream. I assume she has enough money to be Batman if she wanted, but utility belt can only hold so much makeup that it almost makes it not worth it.


Case in point:


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Kim Kardashian Is Still Trying, Guys
Kim Kardashian Is Still Trying, Guys



Kim Kardashian posted these pics on her social media that I’m still not paying for to promote Pat McGrath’s new makeup line, and in a shocking twist, Kim has cornrows and is wearing fur. Not sure where we’ve seen that before oh wait I know. This was probably Kanye’s idea since he doesn’t like to jack off with sound.

A photo posted by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

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Kim Kardashian Is A Great Wedding Guest

Since nothing can never be not about her, Kim Kardashian tweeted all these pics during a wedding she attended this weekend. This also happened while Lemonade was airing on HBO. Because this is what people really wanted to see. I wish the government would start airing live executions on TV so Kris Jenner would be forced to step her game up. Sorry, Rob and Khloe. 

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Kylie Jenner Is Also Empowered
 

A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on



Earlier this week, Kim Kardashian taught women if that they have an unlimited supply of money and surgeons who will do their work for free, that they too can be empowered and comfortable in their own skin. What a powerful message that every woman can relate to. Truly powerful. Her disciples are now going forth and preaching the good news. Like her sister, Kylie Jenner.


And if you squint your eyes and tilt your head to the side, these also become Kylie Jenner.


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Kim Kardashian Would Like To Lecture You On Female Empowerment Now
Kim Kardashian Would Like To Lecture You On Female Empowerment Now


Kim Kardashian, seen above before she felt empowered to visit a plastic surgeon, took to her blog (that you have to pay to read)  yesterday to celebrate International Women’s Day in the true Kardashian way: talking about herself. Of course, she addressed the backlash she received for posting yet another old ass, Photoshopped naked selfie, and she can’t understand why people hate her since she just wants to empower all the women of today. Let’s break it down, shall we? Take this journey with me, friends. (via Just Jared, who I guess pays to read the blog).

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