Kim Kardashian Got Naked In A Tree

 

Yesterday, Dreamers were marching in the streets, North Korea said they were gonna launch at nuke at America for the lolz, and Hurricane Irma registered on a seismograph. Kim Kardashian that would be the best time to drop a picture of herself standing naked in a tree. Not sure why she’s standing up there naked.

 


Oh, okay. Not need to march anymore, guys. You’re good now.


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Kim Kardashian Has Thoughts On Trump
Kim Kardashian Has Thoughts On Trump

 

If you can manage to climb out of the uncanny valley that is this banner pic, Harper’s Bazaar Arabia also asked Kim Kardashian‘s opinion on today’s political climate. As expected, it was measured and nuanced and in no way doomsday hyperbole. LOL JK.

“Anyone can run the U.S. better,” Kim says. “My daughter [North West] would be better.” “We’ve worked so hard to get to where we were and to have so many things that we were so proud of in our country, to just literally revert backwards is the most frustrating thing. Every single day when you can’t really believe what’s going on, the next day it’s something else even more crazy and tragic. It’s really scary, the world that we’re living in now,” she says. “And when you did feel safe at home, now with Trump in presidency, you just don’t feel safe any more.”

You can tell Kim Kardashian is on Twitter a lot. If you read Twitter too much, you’d expect to walk outside in the middle of nuclear winter. I don’t know North West, but she’s 4. I doubt she can read. Replacing a child with a literal child as our President may not be the best thing to move or country forward. We might get all free Yeezy’s, so that might be something to consider. At least one needy person could trade them for 5 minutes of chemotherapy.

 

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Kim Kardashian’s Surrogate Is Three Months Pregnant
Kim Kardashian’s Surrogate Is Three Months Pregnant

 

A new Kardashian/West is dropping in 2018. Great.

In June, the 36-year old and husband, Kanye West began looking for a surrogate, and a source now tells Us Weekly they have cause to celebrate: Their pick — a San Diego mom in her late 20s, referred by an agency — is three months along, which means they’ll likely welcome Baby No. 3 in January 2018…The parents to North, 4, and Saint, 19 months, have agreed to pay $45,000 in 10 monthly installments of $4,500, according to a TMZ report. In the case of multiples, Kardashian and West will fork over $5,000 per additional child. This is all in addition to the whopping $68,850 deposit given to the agency.

Not sure if $45K is enough of an incentive to bring another Kardashian/West in this world, but people have bills to pay. Kim Kardashian is 36 and Khloe’s womb is dray and barren and there’s no way Kris Jenner is planning hinging future seasons on Rob and Blac Chyna’s baby, so cheap surrogates seem like the best business plan at this time.

 

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Kim Kardashian Is Hiring A Surrogate For Her Third Kid
Kim Kardashian Is Hiring A Surrogate For Her Third Kid

 

Yay. There’s gonna be another Kardashian/West kid. And somebody else has to be involved because of Kim Kardashian‘s placenta or whatever.

Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West have hired a surrogate, a source confirms to PEOPLE. Kardashian West has long made it clear on Keeping Up with the Kardashians that she wants another child – even though her doctors have warned her about the health risks of carrying another baby because she suffered from placenta accreta during her last pregnancy. Placenta accreta is a condition in which the placenta grows into the wall of the womb and prevents it from easily detaching at the time of birth.

You’d think as much money as this family has spent on plastic surgery that Kim Kardashian could get a discount on a new placenta, but whatever. That money is probably put to better use on Kylie’s face and Khloe’s woman suit. We don’t know how the surrogate is, but I’m sure Kanye made a strong push for Beyonce so Kim wouldn’t have to use one of her eggs and they wouldn’t have to spend money on getting the egg in there and stuff. Kanye wants to have sex with Beyonce is what I’m saying.

 

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Khloe And Kim Kardashian Are Professional

Not sure what NBC Upfronts is but they had a thing and two of the refurbished pleasure model Kardashians went. Namely, Khloe and Kim Kardashian. Kim looks like she escaped Madame Tussauds at this point, and Khloe looks like if she could just get her ass big enough, and NBA player will give her a baby so she doesn’t have to do this anymore. I think Kim has thoughts about that in pic #4.

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It’s A Kardashian West Easter
It’s A Kardashian West Easter

 

If Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West are known for anything, it’s their love of Jesus and his teachings and pictures of themselves, so what better way to celebrate Jesus dying then being hatched from an egg 2017 years ago than a family photo where Kanye looks like he’s slowly dying inside?

 

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Kim Kardashian Went To Some Thing

Since it was great for ratings, I think two more of her sisters were robbed, so Kim Kardashian got to go to the 3rd Annual Los Angeles Fashion Awards as a reward for once again keeping the family name in your mouth. Not really sure what’s up with the dress. If she ever gets robbed again, she can camouflage herself by laying across one of my grandma’s tables.

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Kim Kardashian Is So Distraught She Did The LOVE Advent Calendar
Kim Kardashian Is So Distraught She Did The LOVE Advent Calendar

 

All it took was a hotel robbery at gunpoint for us not to see or hear about Kim Kardashian everyday (it’s the little things), but once that novelty wore off, her husband was hospitalized for a mental breakdown, then when that wore off, she said she might divorce him. Well played, Kim. I don’t even know how she manages to get through the day with so many many devastating things going on in her personal life and plot point narratives her mom hopes make into her show. But one narrative that they still run with for some reason is that it’s still 2007 and Kim Kardashian. Good times. So here is in Day 12 of the LOVE Advent Calendar. I guess the concept here is that a crayon can draw Kim Kardashian. Seems about right.

 

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Kanye’s Breakdown Is Apparently Kim Kardashian’s Fault Or Something Now
Kanye’s Breakdown Is Apparently Kim Kardashian’s Fault Or Something Now

 

So after more information about Kanye West’s mental breakdown have surfaced, it’s not really funny anymore.  I mean, it still kinda is, because we’re all assholes, but at least his doctor had some foresight. There’s been a lot hot takes about this whole situation, but People might have the stupidest one. PSA: rant after the blockquote.

“Kim has had a very rough time since the robbery,” says a source close to the reality star, 36, who has been keeping a consciously low-profile lifestyle since early October. “It hasn’t helped that Kanye has been touring. Their lives have been quite chaotic. It’s been very trying for them both and not a good recipe for a happy marriage.” Before the robbery, the source says, “Kim [was] usually the more stable and strong person in the marriage. Kanye is used to leaning on her. Since Kim has had her own issues to deal with, the roles have been reversed. Kanye has had to stay strong to support Kim, and it’s like he can’t handle it anymore.” The source adds that the 39-year-old Grammy winner, who stands to lose millions after he canceled 21 dates on his Saint Pablo tour, “is totally wiped out from touring and just can’t handle it emotionally.” And with his wife and support system taking a step back in order to overcome her recent trauma, the source says, “It’s like Kanye is falling apart now, because Kim hasn’t been able to give him her full attention.”

So I didn’t really prepare myself to defend Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian on the same day, but uhhh, what the hell is this? I’m sure we can find a lot of things to blame Kim Kardashian for, but not co-sleeping with Kanye and keeping her tit in his mouth while she recovers from being fucking held at gunpoint in a robbery probably shouldn’t be one of them. Kanye is a grown ass man and his mom already died. He doesn’t have another one.

 

I’ll take this time to give Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian the second-hand attention they deserve. Imagine trying to make dresses for Khloe.

 

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There’s A ‘Kim Kardashian Robbery’ Halloween Costume
There’s A ‘Kim Kardashian Robbery’ Halloween Costume




If you’re a woman, the media establishment wants you to believe that you only have one choice this Halloween season: Harley Quinn. Even though you look nothing like Margot Robbie. Don’t buy into this false narrative. Make your protest costume count by buying this Kim Kardashian Robbery costume. It also trolled with the price: $69.99
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