Kim Kardashian’s Surrogate Is Three Months Pregnant
Kim Kardashian’s Surrogate Is Three Months Pregnant

 

A new Kardashian/West is dropping in 2018. Great.

In June, the 36-year old and husband, Kanye West began looking for a surrogate, and a source now tells Us Weekly they have cause to celebrate: Their pick — a San Diego mom in her late 20s, referred by an agency — is three months along, which means they’ll likely welcome Baby No. 3 in January 2018…The parents to North, 4, and Saint, 19 months, have agreed to pay $45,000 in 10 monthly installments of $4,500, according to a TMZ report. In the case of multiples, Kardashian and West will fork over $5,000 per additional child. This is all in addition to the whopping $68,850 deposit given to the agency.

Not sure if $45K is enough of an incentive to bring another Kardashian/West in this world, but people have bills to pay. Kim Kardashian is 36 and Khloe’s womb is dray and barren and there’s no way Kris Jenner is planning hinging future seasons on Rob and Blac Chyna’s baby, so cheap surrogates seem like the best business plan at this time.

 

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Kim Kardashian Is Hiring A Surrogate For Her Third Kid
Kim Kardashian Is Hiring A Surrogate For Her Third Kid

 

Yay. There’s gonna be another Kardashian/West kid. And somebody else has to be involved because of Kim Kardashian‘s placenta or whatever.

Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West have hired a surrogate, a source confirms to PEOPLE. Kardashian West has long made it clear on Keeping Up with the Kardashians that she wants another child – even though her doctors have warned her about the health risks of carrying another baby because she suffered from placenta accreta during her last pregnancy. Placenta accreta is a condition in which the placenta grows into the wall of the womb and prevents it from easily detaching at the time of birth.

You’d think as much money as this family has spent on plastic surgery that Kim Kardashian could get a discount on a new placenta, but whatever. That money is probably put to better use on Kylie’s face and Khloe’s woman suit. We don’t know how the surrogate is, but I’m sure Kanye made a strong push for Beyonce so Kim wouldn’t have to use one of her eggs and they wouldn’t have to spend money on getting the egg in there and stuff. Kanye wants to have sex with Beyonce is what I’m saying.

 

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Khloe And Kim Kardashian Are Professional

Not sure what NBC Upfronts is but they had a thing and two of the refurbished pleasure model Kardashians went. Namely, Khloe and Kim Kardashian. Kim looks like she escaped Madame Tussauds at this point, and Khloe looks like if she could just get her ass big enough, and NBA player will give her a baby so she doesn’t have to do this anymore. I think Kim has thoughts about that in pic #4.

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It’s A Kardashian West Easter
It’s A Kardashian West Easter

 

If Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West are known for anything, it’s their love of Jesus and his teachings and pictures of themselves, so what better way to celebrate Jesus dying then being hatched from an egg 2017 years ago than a family photo where Kanye looks like he’s slowly dying inside?

 

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Kim Kardashian Went To Some Thing

Since it was great for ratings, I think two more of her sisters were robbed, so Kim Kardashian got to go to the 3rd Annual Los Angeles Fashion Awards as a reward for once again keeping the family name in your mouth. Not really sure what’s up with the dress. If she ever gets robbed again, she can camouflage herself by laying across one of my grandma’s tables.

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Kim Kardashian Is So Distraught She Did The LOVE Advent Calendar
Kim Kardashian Is So Distraught She Did The LOVE Advent Calendar

 

All it took was a hotel robbery at gunpoint for us not to see or hear about Kim Kardashian everyday (it’s the little things), but once that novelty wore off, her husband was hospitalized for a mental breakdown, then when that wore off, she said she might divorce him. Well played, Kim. I don’t even know how she manages to get through the day with so many many devastating things going on in her personal life and plot point narratives her mom hopes make into her show. But one narrative that they still run with for some reason is that it’s still 2007 and Kim Kardashian. Good times. So here is in Day 12 of the LOVE Advent Calendar. I guess the concept here is that a crayon can draw Kim Kardashian. Seems about right.

 

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Kanye’s Breakdown Is Apparently Kim Kardashian’s Fault Or Something Now
Kanye’s Breakdown Is Apparently Kim Kardashian’s Fault Or Something Now

 

So after more information about Kanye West’s mental breakdown have surfaced, it’s not really funny anymore.  I mean, it still kinda is, because we’re all assholes, but at least his doctor had some foresight. There’s been a lot hot takes about this whole situation, but People might have the stupidest one. PSA: rant after the blockquote.

“Kim has had a very rough time since the robbery,” says a source close to the reality star, 36, who has been keeping a consciously low-profile lifestyle since early October. “It hasn’t helped that Kanye has been touring. Their lives have been quite chaotic. It’s been very trying for them both and not a good recipe for a happy marriage.” Before the robbery, the source says, “Kim [was] usually the more stable and strong person in the marriage. Kanye is used to leaning on her. Since Kim has had her own issues to deal with, the roles have been reversed. Kanye has had to stay strong to support Kim, and it’s like he can’t handle it anymore.” The source adds that the 39-year-old Grammy winner, who stands to lose millions after he canceled 21 dates on his Saint Pablo tour, “is totally wiped out from touring and just can’t handle it emotionally.” And with his wife and support system taking a step back in order to overcome her recent trauma, the source says, “It’s like Kanye is falling apart now, because Kim hasn’t been able to give him her full attention.”

So I didn’t really prepare myself to defend Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian on the same day, but uhhh, what the hell is this? I’m sure we can find a lot of things to blame Kim Kardashian for, but not co-sleeping with Kanye and keeping her tit in his mouth while she recovers from being fucking held at gunpoint in a robbery probably shouldn’t be one of them. Kanye is a grown ass man and his mom already died. He doesn’t have another one.

 

I’ll take this time to give Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian the second-hand attention they deserve. Imagine trying to make dresses for Khloe.

 

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There’s A ‘Kim Kardashian Robbery’ Halloween Costume
There’s A ‘Kim Kardashian Robbery’ Halloween Costume




If you’re a woman, the media establishment wants you to believe that you only have one choice this Halloween season: Harley Quinn. Even though you look nothing like Margot Robbie. Don’t buy into this false narrative. Make your protest costume count by buying this Kim Kardashian Robbery costume. It also trolled with the price: $69.99
(more…)

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Kim Kardashian Has Secret Service Now
Kim Kardashian Has Secret Service Now


Donald Trump’s hatred of women extends to not letting the Kim Kardashian robbery news cycle live, but it’s Monday, so Kris Jenner is trying again. Basically, Kim Kardashian is more protected than actual sexual assault victims. Take that, Donald!

Sources close to Kim tell us … her new security detail includes former members of the Secret Service, who will be armed to the teeth. There will be at least one team of 2 hired muscles (minimum) everywhere she goes. We’re also told her car will be “armored.”  We’re told after the Paris robbery Kim met with some ex-special force members from the Israeli army, ex-CIA agents as well as former Secret Service members. Kanye met with owners of 2 top security firms. We’re also told Kris Jenner is heavily involved in security meetings, and plans to get protection for Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall and Kylie … stat. We’ve heard nothing about Rob.

Rob’s boobs can’t be monetized, so I understand this decision. But this must be serious since Kim hasn’t posted a selfie to Instagram in a week. But if anybody needs this type of security, it’s the Kardashians. Especially Khloe. If we lose her, our society and civilization as we know it, would crumble and cease to exist. I take that back. If we even lose one single Kardashian, we might as well just close America, because it would be hollow and meaningless. Why bother going on living? That’s not a future we want for our kids.


Shoutout to whoever gets to follow this around every day. Respect.

Morning

A photo posted by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

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Kim Kardashian Wants A Body Double Now
Kim Kardashian Wants A Body Double Now


The Kim Kardashian robbery has been a news cycle manna from heaven for the Kris Jenner Kollection Plate this past week, from a possible leaked sex tape, accusations it was an “inside job”, claims from her ex-bodyguard (who was fired by Kanye for “flirting”) that the robbery was karma, to Kris Jenner putting a psychic on the case (even though she cut security days before the robbery). And probably other stuff I’m forgetting. But apparently the Jenner/Kardashian/West  brain(?)trust had an emergency meeting over the weekend and the best they could come up with was getting Kim Kardashian a body double.

…Kardashian clan continues to beef up security, they are bringing out a new secret weapon to protect Kim: a body double. A source tells us, “There’s a circus that follows Kim’s every move. Her new security team is recommending she employ a body double to help confuse would-be assailants.”

That should work. Instead of Kim Kardashian getting robbed and possibly raped, they can just hire somebody else to go through all that. Brilliant. A Kim Kardashian body double. Kylie Jenner has been preparing for this role her whole life. Kris might not want to sacrifice future earnings, so Kylie is probably a no go. I would suggest Harambe, but Hillary Clinton had him killed because Ohio is a swing state.


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