Khloe Kardashian Is Doing Great, Just Great
Khloe Kardashian Is Doing Great, Just Great

 

Yesterday, we all learned that Khloe Kardashian‘s baby daddy, Tristan Thompson, was banging everything with a vagina who isn’t Khloe Kardashian.  Maybe it’s because he realized she looks like a trans woman. Or maybe not. Who am I to know the heart of another? Anyway, Khloe seems to be taking it well.

A source close to the Kardashian family said pregnant Khloé, who is due to give birth to their daughter any day now, “was devastated when she saw the pictures of Tristan with that girl, she went absolutely ballistic at him. She is not only hurt, she is humiliated and worried for their child. How could he do this, and so publicly, when their baby daughter could arrive within a week?”

Khloe lives in Cleveland with Thompson now, but Kris Jenner just flew out there, so you know how this going to end.

“The goal is to get Khloé out of there as fast as they can without jeopardizing the safety of the baby after she’s arrived,” a source told PEOPLE. “Khloé just wants to be home.”

As soon as the baby comes out, Kris Jenner is gonna have Tristan Thompson immediately paying insane child support payments to save up for the child’s complete body plastic surgery procedure when she turns 15. That shit ain’t cheap. I assume the Kardashian/Jenner family have a Groupon by now.  But if there’s anybody who totally devastated by this, it’s Kim Kardashian. She’s so distraught that her sister was betrayed that she’s posting bikini pics on Instagram. Just look at the sadness in her eyes. It’s truly painful to see.

 

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KONG MATE CHEAT ALSO HAVE SEX TAPE
KONG MATE CHEAT ALSO HAVE SEX TAPE

 

Yesterday, Khloe Kardashian posted this sweet and not staged at all pic of herself with Tristan Thompson (Black? Check. Average NBA player that her family fetishizes? Check.) on Instagram to celebrate the birth of their daughter who could pop out any time now. That’s wonderful. But what you might not know is that Khloe Kardashian is pregnant by Tristan Thompson because in 2016 Tristan Thompson cheated on his then pregnant girlfriend, Jordan Craig, with Khloe Kardashian then left Jordan Craig to be with Khloe Kardashian before his baby with Jordan Craig was born. Khloe Kardashian was quoted at that time saying that she was just “having fun” and didn’t “want any drama.” This concludes my dramatic irony part of the post, because guess what? You’re really not gonna believe this. Khloe Kardashian is pregnant and Tristan Thompson is cheating on her with multiple women. If only she had some sort of sign before she got pregnant.

 

Apparently Tristan Thompson was banging an IG model (isn’t it always IG models?) all last weekend in NYC, and now she really wants you to know it was her.

A woman claiming she spent the night with Tristan Thompson in NYC this weekend posted and quickly deleted a sex tape and a number of raunchy text messages allegedly with the NBA All-Star. The woman — who goes by @ms.stephaniee_ on Instagram — claims she’s the one who was seen in a video Saturday night walking into the Manhattan Four Seasons with Tristan. Tuesday night she filled her IG story alleged texts from Tristan and a video of a couple having sex … which she claims is her and Tristan. Neither of their faces is visible in the short clip. One of the alleged texts from Tristan read, “If I was there I would grab u while u try to walk away from me than I would pull ya hair and kiss you than rip ya clothes off and lay u down while I suck ya p**** and say sorry.”

The chick is supposedly Lani Blair. I guess you could rightfully stick with the “all men are trash” thing, and nobody would argue, but America really does have an epidemic of whores trying to cash out with famous, rich dudes. Can’t really blame them. What’s the point of having a vagina if it can’t be monetized? You should have to find the algorithm that works best for you and for your vagina. Sometimes that means banging a dude with a pregnant girlfriend at home.

 

TMZ also has a surveillance video footage of Tristan Thompson at a hookah lounge in Washington, D.C. hooking up with two chicks at once. This is obviously wrong, but let’s not pretend these chicks don’t watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. They have kept up and now who Tristan Thompson is. Also, I assume that any of the three women we’ve mentioned her are hotter, younger, and less pregnant than Khloe, so we really don’t need senate committee hearings to find out why he cheated. I really don’t feel bad or sorry for anyone in this story, so I’ll just end this post now. Drink one for Lamar Odom later today.

 

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Khloe Kardashian Is Officially Pregnant Now
Khloe Kardashian Is Officially Pregnant Now

 

We’ve known for a while that Khloe Kardashian is pregnant, but I guess it’s official now since she posted in on Instagram. With a plug for Calvin Klein and a shout out to God for apparently having a vested interest in Khloe doing the unprotected sex with Tristan Thompson, it’s another post about how being pregnant is some sort of miracle instead of a basic, biological function that’s happened billions of times. Like it happens so much, you can go to a doctor and stop it from happening. It happens so much the GOP says we can’t afford to feed them all. I really think God and magic get too much credit for this. Not sure how tall this baby is gonna be, but I think we’ll get a better sense of that when we eventually see it swatting down planes.

 

My greatest dream realized! We are having a baby! I had been waiting and wondering but God had a plan all along. He knew what He was doing. I simply had to trust in Him and be patient. I still at times can’t believe that our love created life! Tristan, thank you for loving me the way that you do! Thank you for treating me like a Queen! Thank you for making me feel beautiful at all stages! Tristan, most of all, Thank you for making me a MOMMY!!! You have made this experience even more magical than I could have envisioned! I will never forget how wonderful you’ve been to me during this time! Thank you for making me so happy my love! Thank you to everyone for the love and positive vibes! I know we’ve been keeping this quiet but we wanted to enjoy this between our family and close friends as long as we could privately. To enjoy our first precious moments just us Thank you all for understanding. I am so thankful, excited, nervous, eager, overjoyed and scared all in one! But it’s the best bundle of feelings I’ve ever felt in my life!

A post shared by Khloé (@khloekardashian) on

 

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Khloe Kardashian Is Also Pregnant
Khloe Kardashian Is Also Pregnant

 

Due to some scientific breakthrough and the fact that Trump and the NFL took Kylie Jenner’s pregnancy news cycle, Khloe Kardashian is also pregnant.

There’s a baby on the way for Khloé Kardashian and Tristan Thompson! Multiple sources confirm to PEOPLE that the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star, 33, and her NBA boyfriend — whom she has been dating since September 2016 — are expecting a baby together. The baby will be the first child for Khloé. Thompson, 26, welcomed a son named Prince Oliver with his ex-girlfriend Jordan Craig in December 2016. “Yes, Khloe and Tristan are expecting and they are absolutely thrilled,” a source tells PEOPLE. “This isn’t something they were in a rush to announce to the whole world, and it’s only been in just the past week or so that they’ve felt comfortable telling most of their inner circle.

Kris tried to make Khloe happen, but she’s 33 now, so I guess this is most natural progression that could possibly translate into ratings. So congrats, Khloe. I would say congrats to Tristan Thompson, but he’s used to getting the fourth option on a team.

 

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Khloe And Kim Kardashian Are Professional

Not sure what NBC Upfronts is but they had a thing and two of the refurbished pleasure model Kardashians went. Namely, Khloe and Kim Kardashian. Kim looks like she escaped Madame Tussauds at this point, and Khloe looks like if she could just get her ass big enough, and NBA player will give her a baby so she doesn’t have to do this anymore. I think Kim has thoughts about that in pic #4.

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Donald Trump Fired Khloe Kardashian From ‘The Apprentice’ For Being Fat And Ugly

We already know what Donald Trump is about when it comes to the ladies, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that he fired Khloe Kardashian from the 2009 season of The Apprentice for being Khloe Kardashian. If you’re wondering why she was on the show, remember it was 2009, and Kris Jenner thought all her daughters would be economically viable. It was a simpler time.

According to sources on the show, Trump complained to producers about Kardashian’s looks and itched to have her removed from the show. “He basically wanted to just get rid of her,” an editor on the show recalled. “He called her a ‘piglet.’” The editor said that Trump asked: “What is this? We can’t even get the hot one?” ― in reference to Kardashian’s sister, Kim. A second source at “The Apprentice” confirmed the incident, using similar words to describe what Trump said about the Kardashians. “He said: ‘Why don’t we fire Khloe? She is a fat piglet. Why did we get the ugly Kardashian?’”  A third source, another editor, recalled the firing as being notable because of how personal Trump made it. “When they fired [her], it wasn’t on merit,” the editor said. “It was on him not liking her.” The editor said that Trump went to the staff and asked: “What’s the reason we can get her off [the show]?”

This is normally the part where I write my thoughts on whatever the article is, but what do you want me to say? No argument here.

 

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‘Kocktails With Khloe’ Got Canceled
‘Kocktails With Khloe’ Got Canceled


The fourth tier Kardashian’s show on a fourth tier network got canceled after 13 episodes. 

Khloe Kardashian’s done shooting her talk show … FYI Network has shut down production of “Kocktails with Khloe” less than 3 months into its run. Productions sources tell us the official announcement from the network was the show is on “indefinite hold” … but that’s just TV talk — truth is, the show is dunzo. As for who decided to pull the plug? Both sides were unhappy. We’re told Khloe wanted to focus on her “other jobs” and had no interest in shooting the next season. Network execs could tell she’d “checked out” and weren’t happy about it.

No to worry, guys! She has “exciting things coming up”!




Stay tuned for those exciting things coming up in US Weekly or TMZ or wherever Kardashian things go. It’s healthy to have hobbies.


Not Khloe Kardashian:

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Khloe Kardashian Is Single Again
Khloe Kardashian Is Single Again


What’s the process for making fake nails for Khloe Kardashian‘s big ass hand? What’s the lead time? Where do they mine the materials? How many Vietnamese children have died? So many unanswered questions. But we’re not here to talk about that right now. Then why’d you ask me? You knew by the title that I was gonna talk about her breakup with James Harden, don’t play dumb. You gonna let me talk about it or not? Thank you. So tired of your shit.

Khloé Kardashian and James Harden have called it quits, PEOPLE has confirmed. “It hasn’t been easy. James obviously has wanted to see her more and be with her more, but she’s felt like she needed to stay in L.A. to be with her family and to deal with Lamar stuff,” a source close to the family previously PEOPLE. “That has put some strain on things.”

They didn’t go into detail, but I think “be with her family and deal with Lamar stuff” means that’s where the reality show is filmed and she needs to keep massaging Lamar’s hand and teaching him “blink once for yes” so he can sign off on power of attorney and that sex tape



Here’s Kendall Jenner pics from last night because one Khloe Kardashian pic was enough:


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There’s A Khloe Kardashian Sex Tape

If you want to see how the Kris Jenner Is Satan machine works,  downloaded these pics of Khloe Kardashian last night for this story on Radar Online:

“Khloe’s desperate to establish herself as the single sex kitten of the family and the way her body looks right now, she wants to show it off,” an insider told Radar. Unfortunately for 31-year-old Kardashian, she’s encountering a lot of resistance to this plan, including from her mom, Kris Jenner, 60. “Kris is against this, but only because it’s too soon after Lamar’s problems to successfully turn Khloe into a sex symbol,” said the insider…Still, “There’s every chance Khloe will get her way and ‘leak’ some racy nude snaps or even footage of her in action in the bedroom,” said the insider.

Then last night, in what is probably just a total and random coincidence, Khloe Kardashian went on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live and said this:

“I’ve definitely recorded myself having sex with my ex-husband,” the svelte reality star told host Andy Cohen. “But not like, talking to camera. You remember those little cameras, little video cameras, that was my jam for a moment.”

Now, you’re free to draw your own conclusions from that, but let’s be clear: there’s gonna be a Khloe Kardashian sex tape out soon. A sex tape with a man who just recently got off life support. A sex tape that’s coming out because if her brother can get a news cycle because her mom squeezed $100K out of Type 2 diabetes, then surely her mom can figure out a way to leak her sex tape with a dude who probably doesn’t know what those words mean anymore. Now I understand that some people might want to watch this, and I fully understand that in the right club with the right light that Khloe might look like a transvestite who would give you pause, but at some point Iran might interrogate you and you really don’t want this to come up. 

 

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The Kardashians Wrote Kanye’s New Album
The Kardashians Wrote Kanye’s New Album


Now that Lamar Odom’s soul has been sucked dry for publicity, Khloe Kardashian did an interview with Cosmo to promote yet another show that plans to ruin a word by making it start with the letter K. She also said her whole family is basically telling Kanye West what to put on his new album, Swish.  

I know, it’s really cool. And he really cares about our opinions, which I find even cooler. Because we’re not artists, obviously, but he respects what we say so much. He is so passionate. He’s like, every bit the meaning of an artist. He’s so into his craft, and just to see him at work and see how much he respects our opinions, all of us sisters, he wants us all in the studio at different times. Thank god we all live a block away from each other.

I’m still not really over David Bowie dying, but he probably knew about this and decided that was his best option. 


You thought these were gonna be pictures of Khloe lol


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