Kendall And Kylie Jenner’s Book Has Sold Only 13K Copies Since June

 Hey remember that time Kendall and Kylie Jenner wrote a dystopian science fiction book called Rebels of Indra in between manicures and stem cell facials? Good times.

According to data from the Nielsen BookScan, obtained by Radar, the Jenner sister’s tome, penned with help from author Maya Sloan, has sold just 13,000 copies since going on sale in June. (Nielsen’s book data accounts for approximately 75% of book sales.)…Even more embarrassing for the Jenners, their attempt at dystopian fiction sits at a measly 9,556 on the Amazon sales chart, and is ranked two of five stars with 136 customers weighing in with reviews. “Garbage from start to finish,” one reader wrote. “Don’t bother wasting your time or money on this piece of trash. The trees that died to make this would have been better off as toilet paper.” Others slammed it as “unoriginal,” “blatantly stupid,” “dumbed down” — in short, “the worst book ever.”

Read that blockquote again. Now realize Snooki and Nicole Richie are New York Times best-selling authors. Fucking Snooki. And Snooki thinks a book is something you do to get an appointment at a tanning salon. They’ll sell more copies if they wrote a suicide note.

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Kendall Jenner’s Butt Is On Instagram
 

the Gunnar commentary. @gunnarfitness

Un vídeo publicado por Kendall Jenner (@kendalljenner) el

 

If you haven’t realized by now, today is really slow unless you want to read about child molesters and Marvel news. I’m not down with that. However, I am pretty down with butts, so here’s Kendall Jenner and her butt working out. Also, the Pope said evolution was real today. Not sure what that has to do with this post, but don’t say I’m not giving you people news here. And also butts.

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Kendall Jenner Is Obsessed With Chris Brown
Kendall Jenner Is Obsessed With Chris Brown

 

Kris Jenner uses Chinese child labor and her contract with E! The Devil to finance her empire of vapid whores who hypersexualized and overexposed as soon as their first eggs drops. Rob, who was cursed being born with a penis, is regulated to sleeping on couches and making socks, because he serves no other purpose in Kris Jenner’s world than being a write-off. Kendall Jenner just turned 18 and has already been naked in practically every photoshoot since, so it’s clear she doesn’t care what a dude does with her body. Even if that man wants to punch it a few times. And not in the good way. Oh, she’s also really dumb.

Even though there seems to be something going on between Kendall and Justin Bieber, KJ reportedly has her sights set on Chris Brown. And friends say she’s crossed the line between infatuation and unhealthy fixation. “Kendall is obsessed with Chris!” a source tells Us Weekly. Apparently, Kendall developed a thing for the rapper after Brown went clubbing with the Jenners back in July. Whatever happened that night must have made quite an impression on Kendall, as friends say she’s been hatching plans to cross paths with Breezy ever since.

It must take some kind of next level self-loathing and stupid to want to date a dude who beats up on women and throws fits during interviews, but please understand, we’re talking about the Kardashian family. They’d date a member of ISIS if he had a hookup at Vogue.

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LOL
LOL

 

So, apparently some gossip magazine called Famous photoshopped some cellulite on Kendall Jenner and said she was too fat for the runway. You can see the real, not too fat  pics here, so I wouldn’t say she was too fat for the runway. She’s too meh for the runway. But people are actually pissed about this saying that Kendall was fat shamed despite not being fat or in shape or whatever. She has the classic sorority girl body type. Not really sure why people are upset. This magazine just took some of the fat that’s been photoshopped off Kim Kardashian and put it on her. Maybe the people who run this magazine are Native Americans and just don’t want to waste shit, you ever think about that?  Let’s try to respect other cultures.

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Actual Models Hate Kendall Jenner
Actual Models Hate Kendall Jenner

 

All things being relative, Kendall Jenner for some reason actually gets praise for “hard work” for putting on clothes and walking down a runway, because she’s the only person in her family who doesn’t base their entire existence on being on a reality show. Turns out that models who put on clothes and walk down a runway who aren’t there as a novelty, ain’t got time for that.

Her modeling career continues to soar, but at New York Fashion Week, Kendall Jenner got a taste of how catty the modeling world can be. “The other models worked so hard to get a spot on the runway and didn’t think it was fair that she was there,” a source tells the new issue of In Touch, revealing that as revenge they decided to mess with her. “Some [of the models] put out their cigarettes in Kendall’s drink!” the source explains. “They thought she was getting special treatment and just weren’t OK with it.”

I really can’t think of anything more pointless and so far up it’s own ass than NYFW except maybe this site, but some people think it’s great because they have the fashion propaganda film The Devil Wears Prada on DVD that makes people think some self-important evil bitch and some gays control everything you wear and buy. I just bought some camo shorts. What self-respecting gay man would wear those? Actually they were bought for me and I threw them awaybbut still.

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They Still Trying To Make Kendall Jenner Happen

 

It’s pretty clear that Khloe and Kim eat up all the food in the house, so Kendall Jenner is left to starve and not workout, and when you do that, sometimes you can be a runway model. So here’s some photographic evidence of that at the Tommy Hilfiger show during NYFW. Too bad Kris Jenner couldn’t fly in one of her Photoshop experts she has on retainer. That would have helped out immensely.

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Okay Then
Okay Then

 

I don’t know how many takes this took until Kris Jenner was satisfied, but here’s Kylie Jenner (17) and Kendall Jenner (18) getting their usual hypersexualized on. But here’s the twist: they’re doing it with each other. Two sisters. Nobody finds that weird and kinda creepy? And since I’m legally allowed to comment on Kendall’s ass now, is there some type of reward if I find it and facilitate it’s safe return?

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The Kardashians/Jenners Were Texting During The Moment Of Silence For Mike Brown
The Kardashians/Jenners Were Texting During The Moment Of Silence For Mike Brown

 

Kardashians Michael Brown

 

You’d think if anyone would mourn the loss of a black man (especially now that he’s famous and a popular SEO search term), it would be the Kardashians/Jenners, but what will be a shock to nobody, their undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder and complete disconnect from any reality that doesn’t involve them or their self-absorbed family of rented vaginas, texted and talked during Common’s poignant plea for a moment of silence for murdered, unarmed teen Mike Brown and all the shit that’s going on in Ferguson. Or maybe they already knew the parenthetical part of that run on sentence and found a way to insert themselves into the SEO and get more white fans at the same time.  Well, hos. Well played.

 

source = Twitter and Twitter

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Kendall Jenner Is A Wonderful Human Being
Kendall Jenner Is A Wonderful Human Being

 

Besides being kinda hot, Kendall Jenner is also a raging bitch who threw money at a waitress after she had the audacity to ask Jenner if she would, you know, pay for the shit she ate. Now Kendall plans to sue. In her defense, the Chinese kids who work in her mom’s sweatshop have seen their production dip so her allowance is kinda down.

Kendall Jenner claims she’s been defamed by a waitress who said the 18-year-old threw money in her face … and she’s threatening to sue. TMZ has obtained a letter from Kendall’s lawyer, admitting Jenner was indeed at Mercer Kitchen last week and that she accidentally skipped out on the bill. But legal pitbull Marty Singer says the rest of the waitress’ story is a pack of lies. The waitress tweeted she chased Kendall down the street to get the money and Jenner threw it in her face. Singer says in the letter … what actually happened was that the waitress did come up to her outside but Jenner was “extremely apologetic” and gladly paid what she owed — $33, plus a $7 tip … which she “politely handed” to her.

It’s unclear what legal argument can be made that any Kris Jenner spawn can be anymore “defamed”, but that doesn’t matter. BRACE YOURSELVES for this irony.

Singer says, “Although you are working as a waitress at Mercer Kitchen, I understand you are also a struggling actress,” adding, “You no doubt concocted a fictionalized account of your encounter with my client in order to create publicity for yourself.”

Wait, Kendall Jenner is suing another person trying to create publicity for themselves? I thought game respects game. No word from Kendall yet, as I assume her mother has her on a flight to Dubai with just a carry on and instructions on how to phonetically pronounce the safe word. Sound it out, Kendall. Sound it out. There ya go, there ya go. That’s mommy’s good girl.

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Kendall Jenner Is Banging Chandler Parsons
Kendall Jenner Is Banging Chandler Parsons

 

Every NBA player who dates a Kardashian/Jenner  instantly joins the Dallas Mavericks, so when the Houston Rockets declined to match the Mavericks’ offer sheet 19 days ago, that should have been our first hint that Chandler Parsons (this guy)  he might be keeping his kock in Kendall.

The 18-year-old model and NBA hottie Chandler Parsons sparked romance rumors over the weekend after the two were spotted getting flirty at STK restaurant in Los Angeles on Friday. The reported couple was joined by Kendall’s sister Kylie Jenner, as well as sports agent Dan Frank and a female friend of the Jenner sisters. According to an eyewitness, the siblings arrived about 30 minutes after Chandler and his agent before the group all sat down at the same table together. Kendall and Chandler had “immediate chemistry,” the source tells E! News. “She [Kendall] was laughing, smiling and they seemed to be having great conversation with each other.” The eyewitness adds that Kendall and Chandler “were chatting and flirting” throughout their meal..

E! News broke this story, and that’s just a fancy way of saying Kris Jenner called them and told them to print it, but she’s proceeding with caution. On one hand, Chandler Parsons is a 25-year old budding All-Star who just signed a 3-year $46M deal. On the other hand, he’s white.

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