Kendall Jenner Is Topless To Sell Lingerie
Kendall Jenner Is Topless To Sell Lingerie

 

La Perla needs brand recognition for their brand recognition, so they hired Kendall Jenner to put on a thong and stand in front of a green screen to sell panties to chicks. I’m not a woman, or identify as a woman, or buy thongs for myself, but do women or people who identify as women or men who buy thongs for themselves buy something because Kendall Jenner endorses it? That can’t be right. I guess they hired Kendall Jenner instead of other sisters because they want perspective buyers to actually be able to see the thong. Smart decision on their part, but it’s still a Jenner so I don’t know how much that translates into sales. Could be some sort of write off.

 

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Here’s Kendall Jenner’s Nipples
Here’s Kendall Jenner’s Nipples

 

Hey, it’s a weekday, so that means a Kardashian/Jenner being thirsty for attention and showing off a body part but not getting completely naked because that would be trashy and beneath them. So, yeah, here’s Kendall Jenner‘s nipples. I’m sure we’ll see them again once ratings dip or somebody finally impregnates Khloe.

 

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Kendall Jenner Got Naked For Something
Kendall Jenner Got Naked For Something

 

When she’s not solving racism and police brutality, Kendall Jenner is a model because brands need people with a large social media following to walk in a straight line then promote the stuff they want to sell on Instagram.  I hope that clears that up. Sometimes that means posing nude and letting CGI experts do things with your mouth. Enjoy.

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Some Kardashians/Jenners Are In Cannes
Some Kardashians/Jenners Are In Cannes

 

Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall Jenner (and I think one of the Baldwins) are in Cannes for some reason. The last Kardashian movie came out in 2007, so I guess they’re just there to support the latest in cinema. Or be on a yacht. I think they’re just there to be on a yacht. Sounds like fun. I wish I was on a yacht. The news tells me that Kourtney has a new boyfriend or fuck buddy or whatever. That’s neat. Her babies daddy is banging Bella Thorne. Or is trying to bang Bellla Thorne. It remains unclear. Meanwhile, Kendall Jenner remains the hottest thing Ryan Seacrest has ever produced. Not sure where Khloe and Kylie are. I assume Kylie is wrapped in bandages and Khloe hasn’t been fully socialized to be around sea animals.

 

 

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Kendall Jenner’s Ass Did The Met Gala
Kendall Jenner’s Ass Did The Met Gala

 

You can’t really have an event where rich people dress up and not have a Kardashian or a Jenner show up without their asses hanging out, so it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that Kendall Jenner wore this dress. Kris usually asks Kim to do this, but Kim looks like Kim now, and Khloe couldn’t do it because she’s currently filming the Jurassic World sequel. A source told me she’s in a scene where a goat is tied to a stick but then the accidentally cut the power to Khloe’s fence.

 

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People Are Mad About A Pepsi Ad
People Are Mad About A Pepsi Ad

 

Brace yourselves. You might not believe this, but since a company didn’t just film their product sitting on a table for two minutes in a empty room then release it as a commercial, their commercial offended people. I know! Anyway, the company in is Pepsi. And this is the commercial.

 

 

You can read the Twitter outrage hose here. Basically, despite checking off all the diversity boxes, people are upset that Pepsi didn’t have the cops, who were shown in the last :30 of the ad, gun down and pepper spray the people holding signs in the street. I agree. Because that’s what you want in soft drink commercials. Gritty realism and a constant reminder of America’s problems. Is the commercial tone deaf? I guess if you wanna look hard enough. Will tweeting at Pepsi stop systematic police violence? Probably not. But I assume its easier to tweet and sit back knowing you’ve done all you can. Kendall Jenner still got paid and you’ll still drink Pepsi as soon as they donate Planned Parenthood so whatever. They’ll be something else to get offended about tomorrow. Maybe Barron Trump gets cornrows.

 

I live in Atlanta and was born and raised in NC, so I don’t really fuck with Pepsi because I’d rather not get shot on sight.

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Bella Thorne And Kendall Jenner Are Marilyn Monroe Now For Some Reason
Bella Thorne And Kendall Jenner Are Marilyn Monroe Now For Some Reason

 

Because basics love Marilyn Monroe, Bella Thorne and Kendall Jenner both posed at Marilyn Monroe. They didn’t pose together to make one Marilyn Monroe with like 40 pounds left over, they posed separately.

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Kendall Jenner Is Somehow Still Modeling
Kendall Jenner Is Somehow Still Modeling

 

I really have no idea why Kendall Jenner is still walking runways in her room much less Paris, but I remember the 90s. Kendall Jenner looks like those models from the 90s if they were 80% less attractive. Maybe Kris Jenner learned from her last three and made the last two so they would appeal to NBA player and rappers as well as tech billionaires. Not sure if this is racist, but Kylie Jenner‘s Extreme Makeover wasn’t meant for a dude at Harvard who developed an app.

 

mornings with @sashasamsonova

A photo posted by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

 

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Kendall Jenner Wore Pasties

The word “pasties” is kinda weird and sucks all the joy I might have had out of this post, but yeah, Kendall Jenner wore pasties, in Paris because they’re cool with that kinda stuff over there unlike here. I understand Kris Jenner probably picked this outfit out and told the paparazzi where to be, but that’s ok because that’s the kinda stuff we’re cool with over here.

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Kylie Jenner And Kendall Jenner Did The 2017 Golden Globes For Some Reason
Kylie Jenner And Kendall Jenner Did The 2017 Golden Globes For Some Reason

 

I guess because their mom was at the Golden Globes, Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner were also at the Golden Globes. Kylie dressed like you’d expect, and Kendall stood like you’d expect because of her modeling DVDs. All I can really say is that it’s 2017 and we should really start trying to find a way to put Kendall’s head on Kylie’s body so this family can create something that would contribute to society and allow Kris to maximize profits.

 

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