Okay Then
Okay Then

 

I don’t know how many takes this took until Kris Jenner was satisfied, but here’s Kylie Jenner (17) and Kendall Jenner (18) getting their usual hypersexualized on. But here’s the twist: they’re doing it with each other. Two sisters. Nobody finds that weird and kinda creepy? And since I’m legally allowed to comment on Kendall’s ass now, is there some type of reward if I find it and facilitate it’s safe return?

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The Kardashians/Jenners Were Texting During The Moment Of Silence For Mike Brown
The Kardashians/Jenners Were Texting During The Moment Of Silence For Mike Brown

 

Kardashians Michael Brown

 

You’d think if anyone would mourn the loss of a black man (especially now that he’s famous and a popular SEO search term), it would be the Kardashians/Jenners, but what will be a shock to nobody, their undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder and complete disconnect from any reality that doesn’t involve them or their self-absorbed family of rented vaginas, texted and talked during Common’s poignant plea for a moment of silence for murdered, unarmed teen Mike Brown and all the shit that’s going on in Ferguson. Or maybe they already knew the parenthetical part of that run on sentence and found a way to insert themselves into the SEO and get more white fans at the same time.  Well, hos. Well played.

 

source = Twitter and Twitter

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Kendall Jenner Is A Wonderful Human Being
Kendall Jenner Is A Wonderful Human Being

 

Besides being kinda hot, Kendall Jenner is also a raging bitch who threw money at a waitress after she had the audacity to ask Jenner if she would, you know, pay for the shit she ate. Now Kendall plans to sue. In her defense, the Chinese kids who work in her mom’s sweatshop have seen their production dip so her allowance is kinda down.

Kendall Jenner claims she’s been defamed by a waitress who said the 18-year-old threw money in her face … and she’s threatening to sue. TMZ has obtained a letter from Kendall’s lawyer, admitting Jenner was indeed at Mercer Kitchen last week and that she accidentally skipped out on the bill. But legal pitbull Marty Singer says the rest of the waitress’ story is a pack of lies. The waitress tweeted she chased Kendall down the street to get the money and Jenner threw it in her face. Singer says in the letter … what actually happened was that the waitress did come up to her outside but Jenner was “extremely apologetic” and gladly paid what she owed — $33, plus a $7 tip … which she “politely handed” to her.

It’s unclear what legal argument can be made that any Kris Jenner spawn can be anymore “defamed”, but that doesn’t matter. BRACE YOURSELVES for this irony.

Singer says, “Although you are working as a waitress at Mercer Kitchen, I understand you are also a struggling actress,” adding, “You no doubt concocted a fictionalized account of your encounter with my client in order to create publicity for yourself.”

Wait, Kendall Jenner is suing another person trying to create publicity for themselves? I thought game respects game. No word from Kendall yet, as I assume her mother has her on a flight to Dubai with just a carry on and instructions on how to phonetically pronounce the safe word. Sound it out, Kendall. Sound it out. There ya go, there ya go. That’s mommy’s good girl.

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Kendall Jenner Is Banging Chandler Parsons
Kendall Jenner Is Banging Chandler Parsons

 

Every NBA player who dates a Kardashian/Jenner  instantly joins the Dallas Mavericks, so when the Houston Rockets declined to match the Mavericks’ offer sheet 19 days ago, that should have been our first hint that Chandler Parsons (this guy)  he might be keeping his kock in Kendall.

The 18-year-old model and NBA hottie Chandler Parsons sparked romance rumors over the weekend after the two were spotted getting flirty at STK restaurant in Los Angeles on Friday. The reported couple was joined by Kendall’s sister Kylie Jenner, as well as sports agent Dan Frank and a female friend of the Jenner sisters. According to an eyewitness, the siblings arrived about 30 minutes after Chandler and his agent before the group all sat down at the same table together. Kendall and Chandler had “immediate chemistry,” the source tells E! News. “She [Kendall] was laughing, smiling and they seemed to be having great conversation with each other.” The eyewitness adds that Kendall and Chandler “were chatting and flirting” throughout their meal..

E! News broke this story, and that’s just a fancy way of saying Kris Jenner called them and told them to print it, but she’s proceeding with caution. On one hand, Chandler Parsons is a 25-year old budding All-Star who just signed a 3-year $46M deal. On the other hand, he’s white.

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Hey, Kendall Jenner Is Topless
Hey, Kendall Jenner Is Topless

 

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: Kendall Jenner took her clothes off and had somebody take her picture. By the time she’s 25, we’l be able to draw her cervix from memory.

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Hey, It’s Kendall Jenner Being Oversexualized Again
Hey, It’s Kendall Jenner Being Oversexualized Again

 

Kendall Jenner hasn’t been 18 for a year, and if she’s not in a bikini, naked or topless, she’s in lingerie for some magazine. Makes sense because Kris Jenner knows she only has an 8-year window to get  this ho in as many commercials as she can before North West hit puberty. Her sister didn’t make a sex tape so Kendall could go to college.

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Kendall Jenner Twerks For Followers

 

Kendall Jenner recently passed the 10M followers mark on Instagram, so to celebrate, she posted this video of her dancing. This is pretty hot and all, but I would have really liked to have seen her reading a fortune cookie instead, but Instagram has a time limit on their videos.

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Kendall Jenner Won The Billboard Music Awards

 

"Sorry, Kendall. It's an involuntary muscle."

 

Kendall Jenner is the only 2014 Billboard Music Awards pictures I'm posting, because any other 2014 Billboard Music Awards will be disappointing and not really worth your time. And as I type 2014 Billboard Music Awards again for SEO purposes, can I just say holy shit this chick is hot. It's only a matter of time until Kim slits her throat and drink her blood and Khloe plays fetch with her femur, but before that happens, let's just appreciate what she's wearing here. If for some reason you don't think she's hot, call Oprah. Maybe you can get your own reality series now that Michael Sam has dropped out.

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Hailey Baldwin And Kendall Jenner Are Matching
Hailey Baldwin And Kendall Jenner Are Matching

Hailey Baldwin Kendall Jenner

 

I don't know the science involved that made it possible for Stephen Baldwin and Bruce Jenner to produce things that look like this, but maybe it's best that we don't question it. Just let it happen. Shhhh….shhhh…let it happen. You like that, baby? You like that. Awww yeah. Bend over for me. Now arch your back. Uhhh huhhh. Like that. Can you put your cat in the other room, he's staring at me.

 

pic source = here and here

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Here’s Some People Who Went To Coachella

I'm almost positive the tweakers at Coachella crashed Instagram this weekend leaving girls who took pictures of their thighs at the pool to be so done over having to wait to post them. So, if you haven't seen enough Coachella pics yet, hey, here's some more. Wow! How exciting!

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