Kendall Jenner Is Your 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar Today
Kendall Jenner Is Your 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar Today

 

Kendall Jenner is by far the most attractive and least pregnant of Kris Jenner’s kids (unless Rob figures out something quick), so there’s a reason she was chosen to be in the 2017 LOVE Advent Calendar other than the people who make this calendar wanting to leverage Kendall’s social media following. That probably didn’t factor into their decision at all. They know she’s a supermodel just like Cindy Crawford and Linda Evangelista and lol okay I’ll stop.

 

 

Hey, but at least she’s doing actual physical exercise, unlike Ashley Graham who did hers in post.

 

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Fergie Has A New Video And Kendall Jenner Is In It For Some Reason
Fergie Has A New Video And Kendall Jenner Is In It For Some Reason

 

I guess Fergie has a new song called “Enchante” and here’s the video. I was listening to something else while this was playing, but assume Fergie does her usual breathy Britney Spears thing that passes for singing then does a rap at some point. Kris Jenner probably said only Kendall Jenner could be in the video so instead of other people, there’s like 25 Kendall Jenner’s awkwardly dancing and walking and sitting down. If the breaks 300K views, I’ll be surprised. Cool. Yeah. moving on.

 

 

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Blake Griffin And Kendall Went On A Date And Saw ‘IT’
Blake Griffin And Kendall Went On A Date And Saw ‘IT’

 

I honestly didn’t know Blake Griffin and Kendall Jenner were a thing, but Kris Jenner is her mom and Blake Griffin is in the NBA so it makes sense. Kendall isn’t like the other chicks in her family and does things her own way, so I guess that’s why she’s dating a NBA player who isn’t all the way black. Per TMZ:

Kendall Jenner and Blake Griffin just took a major step in their dating life — ’cause nothing says “we’re together” like dinner and a movie … and a 2,475 mile trip. The rumored couple was spotted grabbing a bite Monday night in NYC at Carbone, and then catching the new horror flick “It” afterward. Speaking of flying, Blake clearly jetted off to New York to be with Kendall … who’s walking runways for Fashion Week (Todd’s note: LOL). They’d been seen hanging in L.A. (with pals) prior to this.

Sounds sweet. I wonder while they were in the movie if the irony was lost on Blake Griffin that he was watching a movie about an overexposed clown. If this was Kylie, I could have made “float” joke, but Blake doesn’t want me to succeed.

 

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Kendall Jenner Is Topless To Sell Lingerie
Kendall Jenner Is Topless To Sell Lingerie

 

La Perla needs brand recognition for their brand recognition, so they hired Kendall Jenner to put on a thong and stand in front of a green screen to sell panties to chicks. I’m not a woman, or identify as a woman, or buy thongs for myself, but do women or people who identify as women or men who buy thongs for themselves buy something because Kendall Jenner endorses it? That can’t be right. I guess they hired Kendall Jenner instead of other sisters because they want perspective buyers to actually be able to see the thong. Smart decision on their part, but it’s still a Jenner so I don’t know how much that translates into sales. Could be some sort of write off.

 

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Here’s Kendall Jenner’s Nipples
Here’s Kendall Jenner’s Nipples

 

Hey, it’s a weekday, so that means a Kardashian/Jenner being thirsty for attention and showing off a body part but not getting completely naked because that would be trashy and beneath them. So, yeah, here’s Kendall Jenner‘s nipples. I’m sure we’ll see them again once ratings dip or somebody finally impregnates Khloe.

 

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Kendall Jenner Got Naked For Something
Kendall Jenner Got Naked For Something

 

When she’s not solving racism and police brutality, Kendall Jenner is a model because brands need people with a large social media following to walk in a straight line then promote the stuff they want to sell on Instagram.  I hope that clears that up. Sometimes that means posing nude and letting CGI experts do things with your mouth. Enjoy.

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Some Kardashians/Jenners Are In Cannes
Some Kardashians/Jenners Are In Cannes

 

Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall Jenner (and I think one of the Baldwins) are in Cannes for some reason. The last Kardashian movie came out in 2007, so I guess they’re just there to support the latest in cinema. Or be on a yacht. I think they’re just there to be on a yacht. Sounds like fun. I wish I was on a yacht. The news tells me that Kourtney has a new boyfriend or fuck buddy or whatever. That’s neat. Her babies daddy is banging Bella Thorne. Or is trying to bang Bellla Thorne. It remains unclear. Meanwhile, Kendall Jenner remains the hottest thing Ryan Seacrest has ever produced. Not sure where Khloe and Kylie are. I assume Kylie is wrapped in bandages and Khloe hasn’t been fully socialized to be around sea animals.

 

 

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Kendall Jenner’s Ass Did The Met Gala
Kendall Jenner’s Ass Did The Met Gala

 

You can’t really have an event where rich people dress up and not have a Kardashian or a Jenner show up without their asses hanging out, so it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that Kendall Jenner wore this dress. Kris usually asks Kim to do this, but Kim looks like Kim now, and Khloe couldn’t do it because she’s currently filming the Jurassic World sequel. A source told me she’s in a scene where a goat is tied to a stick but then the accidentally cut the power to Khloe’s fence.

 

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People Are Mad About A Pepsi Ad
People Are Mad About A Pepsi Ad

 

Brace yourselves. You might not believe this, but since a company didn’t just film their product sitting on a table for two minutes in a empty room then release it as a commercial, their commercial offended people. I know! Anyway, the company in is Pepsi. And this is the commercial.

 

 

You can read the Twitter outrage hose here. Basically, despite checking off all the diversity boxes, people are upset that Pepsi didn’t have the cops, who were shown in the last :30 of the ad, gun down and pepper spray the people holding signs in the street. I agree. Because that’s what you want in soft drink commercials. Gritty realism and a constant reminder of America’s problems. Is the commercial tone deaf? I guess if you wanna look hard enough. Will tweeting at Pepsi stop systematic police violence? Probably not. But I assume its easier to tweet and sit back knowing you’ve done all you can. Kendall Jenner still got paid and you’ll still drink Pepsi as soon as they donate Planned Parenthood so whatever. They’ll be something else to get offended about tomorrow. Maybe Barron Trump gets cornrows.

 

I live in Atlanta and was born and raised in NC, so I don’t really fuck with Pepsi because I’d rather not get shot on sight.

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Bella Thorne And Kendall Jenner Are Marilyn Monroe Now For Some Reason
Bella Thorne And Kendall Jenner Are Marilyn Monroe Now For Some Reason

 

Because basics love Marilyn Monroe, Bella Thorne and Kendall Jenner both posed at Marilyn Monroe. They didn’t pose together to make one Marilyn Monroe with like 40 pounds left over, they posed separately.

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