Kelly Brook‘s hips have apparently grown an inch a year since 2005, so I’m glad she’s back in the gym. Or is this a gym? I’m not sure. These are the same pants I wore at Thanksgiving so who knows.
I just ate, so I’m giving myself 30 minutes before I start editing those new Kim Kardashian pics that came out last night, so in the meantime, here’s Kelly Brook leaving her apartment then walking into a meeting. Because seeing Kelly Brook walking fully clothed is better than seeing Kim Kardashian’s naked tits that were retouched with alien technology. Enjoy.
Kelly Brook has been on this site before I even got here, because she’s basically the perfect woman even though she’s kinda crazy and every boyfriend she has dumps her or cheats on her eventually. She also sets elaborate thirst traps on Instagram everyday, so it’s hard to keep up with all her shit. So, let’s handle all that, shall we? Take this journey of boobs with me. Don’t fight it. Let it happen.
It’s with a sad and heavy heart that I must tell you that I don’t have access to the Kelly Brook Halloween pics and I’m regulated to Instagram selfies, because much like her costume, image licensing fees are the devil, but please take a moment to view the full set here. “Full set” isn’t a euphemism by the way, although it could be in this case, because she has massive boobs, you see. Not sure if you noticed or not. I figured I should point that put just in case. Just wanted to make sure you knew if this topic is ever a trivia question.
Look at this picture of Kelly Brook. I mean, like really look at it. Then understand that David McIntosh is the second straight dude to cheat on her.
Former Gladiator David McIntosh is to jet to LA in a bid to salvage his relationship with Kelly Brook. The 28-year-old has told the model he wants to talk after she ended their engagement over fears he cheated with ex Sarah Harper, 33, which he denies. Friends say he is keen to settle down and have kids with Kelly, 34, and hoped to marry before Christmas. McIntosh said: “I am in still madly in love with Kelly. I have always felt she was my soul mate. “My heart has been left broken, but I will do anything to show that we can make it.”
Kelly Brook recently made some statements that she routinely slaps and punches her boyfriends and that’s okay because they’re big and “she’s a girl”. So long story short, a super hot chick is batshit crazy. Man, I wish there was historical evidence that this is a real phenomenon that would have warned him.
WENN has these pictures labeled as “Kelly Brook and fiancé David McIntosh leave a gym in West Hollywood after a workout”. I don’t want to argue that, but I hope her membership is at Planet Fitness. Because I wouldn’t pay more than $10 a month to look like I got overly comfortable in a relationship.
Look, it's the week before July 4th, so every post I put up is gonna boring. Not to be confused with the week after July 4th when it's gonna be a bikini bukkake party. So to help this process along, here's some more of Kelly Brook's Instagram. She's British, so obviously she doesn't celebrate the day a bunch of white dudes in wigs and capris formed a country on top of a country that was already here. She also has an enormous rack, and that's something we can all celebrate regardless of political or relgious affiliation.
I'd like to think of myself as an ass man, but then I remember Kelly Brook exists. Women have to struggle making less money for doing the same job as men, while us men have to decide if her ass or tits are worth the raise. The eternal struggle is real.
"Well, it's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's like a Muslim/Jewish thing but with tits and ass."
My love for Kelly Brook could probably power a small-to-medium sized town, and if I hear her talk, then I could probably do a large city, but enough about that. Short story: Kelly Brook has an Instagram and mostly just posts stuff like this all day. Because if you had a body like this, you probably would too. Those Marilyn Monroe quotes you post now kinda make you sound like an idiot. She had three husbands and gangbangs with married guys in the White House. Sure, tell me about her thoughts on love.
Here's Kelly Brook in a bikini in Miami with her new boyfriend David King. He calls himself "King David". Kelly Brook was single because her last boyfriend cheated on her, so it's good to see she's moved on with a guy who looks like he would never cheat. Also, boobs. Lots of boobs in this post.