Kelly Brook Is In A Bikini, Has A New Boyfriend

Here's Kelly Brook in a bikini in Miami with her new boyfriend David King. He calls himself "King David". Kelly Brook was single because her last boyfriend cheated on her, so it's good to see she's moved on with a guy who looks like he would never cheat. Also, boobs. Lots of boobs in this post.

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Kelly Brook Says Good Morning, Links
Kelly Brook Says Good Morning, Links

 

AWKWARD MESS [Dlisted]

An open letter to Nicki Minaj [Fishwrapper]

Addison Timlin forgot her bra (NSFW)  [Taxi Driver Movie]

Katy Perry fingerbanged Anna Kendrick [The Superficial]

Nina Agdal did Terry Richardson [Hollywood Tuna]

Vanessa Hudgens in yoga pants [Popoholic]

Sienna Miller did Esquire [Drunken Stepfather]

Justin Bieber hotboxed a mansion, fined $5,000 [TMZ] Rihanna wore New Balances with a fur coat [Moe Jackson]

Nic Cage is starring in a reboot of a Kirk Cameron movie [Film Drunk]

Kate Upton in Cosmo Spain [Celebslam]

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Good Lord, Kelly Brook

 

The National Television Awards were in London last night, so I guess that was a good enough reason for Kelly Brook to wear this dress with her rack hanging out and her nipples clearly visible to everyone. Sources say they had to stop the red crapet arrivals for 20 minutes to put down a tarp and discreetly place baby wipe dispensers around the arena. "Ohhh, ooohhh, ohhhh…shhhh, don't touch it, Don't touch it," a bystander was quoted as saying.

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Jeremy Piven Is Sexing Kelly Brook
Jeremy Piven Is Sexing Kelly Brook

 

In what might be the most depressing thing you'll read all day, Jeremy Piven is now banging Kelly Brook. You can see the pics here, or you can just stab yourself in the thigh at your desk right now. You'll pretty much get the same result.

 

pic source = Instagram

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A Moment With Kelly Brook
A Moment With Kelly Brook

 

Did you see that one that one on the news? And did you read about that other thing?! Man, the world is crazy. So here's Kelly Brook and her gigantic rack sitting on a couch to help you through all that. I am only on man, but I do what I can.

 

pic source = Instagram

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Kelly Brook Did Kim Kardashian
Kelly Brook Did Kim Kardashian

 

Kim Kardashian-ing is a real thing now (sup, Ashley?), so here's Kelly Brook on Instagram in a pic that she captioned "@kimkardashian I've seen that shot somewhere before HA!!". Since I have enough credit hours to be a Kelly Brook expert, I'm sad to say this is obviously photoshopped. Trust me on this. If Kelly Brook had an ass like that, the world would have spun off its axis and imploded on itself by now.

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Kelly Brook Did A Music Video
Kelly Brook Did A Music Video

 

I have no clue who Lawson, but apparently it's an English band where all the member look the same and haven't came out of the closet yet. Nice vest, bro. Anyway, they wrote a song called "Juliet" and put Kelly Brook in the video so she can reiterate the fact that she's been Jessica Rabbit this whole time. She's also single now. I've written letters but I haven't heard anything back yet. She's probably just busy.

 

 

 

Since YouTube shows you other videos you might like, here's Kelly Brook speaking in a body spray ad thing. If my math is correct, it's Kelly Brook's rack + Kelly Brook's rack = the top of her head looking like a blowhole of a doplhin if I ever had sex with her. I would show my work, but this is a family site.

 


Image source = Instagram

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You Can Tell Kelly Brook Is Single Now
You Can Tell Kelly Brook Is Single Now

 

For most of this year, Kelly Brook's Instagram was just pictures of her fully clothed or in a makeup chair or posing with her boyfriend. You know, the one who cheated on her. Now it's all stuff like this. I watch a lot of Animal Planet and this is what animal scientists call "presenting". I'd get her pregnant, but I'm pretty sure the semen has to go inside not on her leg as soon as I take my pants off. Sorry, Kelly. It happens to a lot of guys! Don't look at me like that!

 

Pic source = Instagram

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