Katy Perry Is Banging Diplo
Katy Perry Is Banging Diplo

 

Or not. I mean it's Page Six, so who knows.

Katy Perry has moved on from her split with John Mayer by hooking up with top music producer and DJ Diplo at Coachella. Perry, 29, was spotted with Diplo, 35 — the LA-based producer and recording artist who’s worked with Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, Usher and Bruno Mars — backstage at the music festival and also at a series of parties. A witness told Page Six: “Katy and Diplo hooked up at Coachella. They were together behind the main stage, where she had a tour bus or trailer, and a group of her friends were hanging out.” The music spy added, “It was very obvious that Katy and Diplo were together. They seemed inseparable and at one point they were seen getting onto her bus together.”

Hey. Cool. That's all I got. If people call you "Diplo" and you can still bang Katy Perry, I say go for it, man.

 

pic source = Instagram

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Katy Perry Has Green Hair Now
Katy Perry Has Green Hair Now

 

Katy Perry dyed her hair green for spring for some reason, I guess because nature and stuff turns green in spring. If she really wanted to celebrate spring, why dye her hair?  Just put on a bikini. Doesn't she watch The Kardashians? You have gigantic boobs. Hair is irrelevant at that poount.

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RaP gAmE KaTy pErRy
RaP gAmE KaTy pErRy

 

Rumors of Katy Perry and Riff Raff dating hit earlier this week, and like most of the world who knows or cares who those people are, I thought it was a joke between friends. Except they actually went on a date once and this post is really needed to fill up space because today is boring. Look, I'm always honest with you. Don't make me regret telling you that.

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This Isn’t Creepy At All

 

Katy Perry's wax figure was revealed at Madame Tussauds in Berlin yesterday, and it's hard to say if this looks realistic or not, because this Katy and wax Katy Perry kinda look the same. So I guess it does look realistic? Let's table this decision until we see if John Mayer tries to have sex with it.

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Katy Perry And John Mayer Split
Katy Perry And John Mayer Split

 

"That new chick who showed up in my Snapchat top 3 is just a friend, baby. A friend I banged for a few weeks."

 

Oh, love. What a funny thing. E! online reports:

Katy Perry and John Mayer have called it quits. A source close to the pair exclusively tells E! News that Perry broke up with Mayer within the last few days. No other details about what prompted the "Dark Horse" singer's decision were forthcoming, but Mayer was noticeably absent from Perry's side on her recent trip to London and Milan. She returned home to Los Angeles on Friday.  Despite some early ups and down, the musical pair fast became one of Hollywood's hottest couples, sweetly gushing about each other in interviews and collaborating on the song "Who You Love," off of Mayer's latest album, Paradise Valley.

John Mayer is a white dude with short hair and sleeve tattoos who is out of town a lot, and sometomes his job makes him be out of town for up to a year at a time. If Katy Perry thought he wasn't banging other people, then she doesn't just look and sound dumb, she's actually dumb. Because when you have a penis, it really doesn't matter how big your girlfriend's ass or boobs are, somebody in your general area have just as good or better. As it turns out, there's hot chicks in every city and country. Oh, I know! I couldn't believe myself.

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Katy Perry Went To The ELLE Awards

Katy Perry doesn't seem like she's depressed, but she had bangs and Lego hair at the Elle Awards, so we really can't know for sure. But I guess none of that never matters, because you know, huge boobs. Katy Perry could have a dragon tail and vampire teeth and I'd hit it at least once.

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Katy Perry Wore This Dress

Katy Perry wore another dress on the red carpet to the 56th Grammy Awards, but that one didn't show her rack and my boss has a strict "only Katy Perry rack shots", so I'm just abiding by company policy. You understand. Sorry, guys. My hands are tied.

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Katy Perry Is Here To Teach You All About The Importance Of Big Boobs
Katy Perry Is Here To Teach You All About The Importance Of Big Boobs

 

Because they assumed its my birthday next month, GQ put Katy Perry and her insane rack on the February 2014 cover. Christ. But more to the point, how can a talentless, goofy, pasty chick with a lazy eye, be an international superstar on the cover of greatest men's magazine ever created? If you said, "dem titties", go treat yourself to something nice. And take this pat on the back from me. Job well, sir.

 

Yeah, there's more:

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Katy Perry And John Mayer Are Getting Married

When you're raised in a strict Christian home, all you want to do when you leave is pop your tits out, sing about being a fake lesbian, then marry a heroin and sex addict. And when that doesn't work out, you start dating a Neil Young wannabe who has probably banged most of your friends and your friends' friends. Then after he breaks up with you twice, the only thing you want to do is marry him because obviosuly he's the one. So, congrats to Katy Perry and John Mayer, I guess. E! reports:

Katy Perry and John Mayer's relationship may be the dark horse to watch out for when it comes to the celebrity race to the altar. The artists are "very serious" about each other, a source tells E! News, and we're hearing that those close to the couple wouldn't be surprised if they got engaged in the not-so-distant future. Well, then!

I guess I'll believe it when I see it, but is there any reason why John Mayer is marrying this chick? From what I've read about him, I assumed he enjoys having sex. Marriage isn't really conducive to that.

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