Katy Perry Did ‘Good Morning America’
Katy Perry Did ‘Good Morning America’

 

Still not sure what’s going with Katy Perry since she still has this hair, but she went to Good Morning America looking like a pack of Fla Vor Ice. Taylor Swift would never wear this.

 

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Katy Perry Did The 2017 MTV VMAs
Katy Perry Did The 2017 MTV VMAs

 

I know putting a Katy Perry post above a Taylor Swift might offend some people, but this Katy Perry post came with pictures from the actual event that Taylor Swift was too busy to attend. Probably underlining names in red and other things that people do who are on the brink of insanity. Anyway, Katy Perry has very nice breasts and nominal talent, so that means she’s the perfect pop star. She performed “Swish Swish” and if you ever thought how this song could get any worse, an acceptable answer would be for “Swish Swish” to be performed live. Nicki Minaj forgot the lyrics of her own verse, but she still managed to be the best part of this performance. Obviously, this is just my opinion. If male backup dancers in high heels humping giant, inflatable basketballs is more your thing, you might be more apt to feel that is the best part of the performance.

 

 

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Katy Perry Dropped The ‘Swish Swish’ Video Nobody Wanted
Katy Perry Dropped The ‘Swish Swish’ Video Nobody Wanted

 

Yeah. Katy Perry dropped her “Swish Swish” video. I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this, because it’s as stupid as you imagined to be. Watch it or whatever. Ugh, Katy. Just go away.

 

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Katy Perry Teased A Video For ‘Swish Swish’ For Some Reason
Katy Perry Teased A Video For ‘Swish Swish’ For Some Reason

 

I thought we all decided we didn’t want to hear Katy Perry‘s Swish Swish anymore. much less see a video, but Katy Perry is back again with her totally on the nose metaphors and comical lack of subtlety. “Countdown To Catastrophe”. Catastrophe. GET IT? Katy Perry is the captain of a basketball team. Or SQUAD. Get it? Haha, so deep. A video full of celebrities? Yeah. If Taylor Swift ever finds herself being homeless, she can move into Katy Perry’s head. It’s free for her there.

 

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Katy Perry And Robert Pattinson Might Be A Thing
Katy Perry And Robert Pattinson Might Be A Thing

 

Last time we check on Robert Pattinson he was talking about not jacking off a dog, but from what I understood, he was still kinda sorta engaged to FKA Twigs. I guess he isn’t anymore because she took off her kinda sorta engagement ring because Pattinson might be trying to bang Katy Perry.

Katy Perry and Robert Pattinson got super cozy Saturday night … which makes us wonder if the site pooh-poohing a possible hook up have it right. We got this pic of Katy and Rob in WeHo in the restaurant at the Sunset Tower Hotel. The joint is very romantic. It looks like they were dining with a few other people but when the pic was taken they clearly broke off from the crowd. There have been rumors the 2 started dating after Katy split from Orlando Bloom. As for Robert, there were rumblings he was engaged to FKA Twigs.

When two white, bland celebrities hook up it’s a really big deal, so this is my post about it. Katy Perry should have been seeing a psychiatrist for like six months now and she really has nothing left to cut off to make people think she’s edgy. Hopefully she doesn’t get breast cancer. And Robert Pattinson is Robert Pattinson. He looks like a robot that decided to be an actor and nobody noticed and just kinda went a long with it. Anyway, they might be having sex. I just wanted to let you know unless this was keeping you up at night.

 

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Katy Perry Pissed Off Koala Activists
Katy Perry Pissed Off Koala Activists



It’s 2017, so you can’t say anything or you’ll be labeled “disgusting” or “insensitive” by at least one person on the Internet. Katy Perry is being called that because she said something about koalas.

Katy Perry has come under fire for telling her poodle dog to “chase some koalas” in an advert for an Australian department store. Myer has removed the advert, which was branded “disgusting” and “insensitive” by one of the country’s leading wildlife charities. The advert shows the pop star telling viewers how they can win 8,000 free tickets to her next show in Australia, and then telling her teacup poodle Nugget: “Let’s go and chase some koalas, Nugget!”.

You can’t see it, but right now I’m clutching my pearls. HOW DARE KATY DO THIS?! Gold Coast wildlife vet Claire Madden had some words.

“This is just absolute ignorance from Perry and Myer, and inappropriate on so many levels,“…. “Perry is a role model to so many young people, and this just destroys all the good work we do to try to encourage people not to let their dogs come into contact with koalas,” she added. “Katy Perry I challenge you to come and spend a day with me (a wildlife vet) and learn first hand why your comment should NOT be streamed across the nation,” Ms Madden said. “Koalas attacked by dogs is one of their biggest threats and primary reasons for presenting to wildlife hospitals across Australia,” she added. “Come visit me and you will quickly learn how adorable and precious our koalas are and how undeserving your comment is.”

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Katy Perry fans, it is that they are very concerned about the threats to koalas in Australia. They tweet about it all the time. Katy should have known better to do something so insensitive to an animal that is confined to a small part of the smallest continent in the world. If dogs could write letters, they’d probably send Katy fan mail. What about the dog’s needs, Claire?



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Katy Perry Is Probably Banging Chris Martin
Katy Perry Is Probably Banging Chris Martin

 

Katy Perry performed at the 2017 Glastonbury Festival  this weekend, because British people also have bad taste in music. She also wore some weird catsuit(?) with crystals all over it and the Illuminati eye in the middle of it. No clue why. Probably something about Trump that she thinks we’re too dumb to understand. Unlike like her lyrics, which are dumb enough so everyone can understand. She’s also probably banging Chris Martin.

She has a penchant for British men and he’s reportedly newly single. And Coldplay frontman Chris Martin and Katy Perry certainly seemed to get on like a house on fire as they partied together at the UK’s Glastonbury music festival over the weekend, following Katy’s set….an onlooker spied the two musicians holding hands as they watched Stormzy together on Saturday night. A source said: ‘Chris and Katy were walking hand in hand through the hospitality area and looked like they were really enjoying each other’s company. ‘She was wearing a big coat and hood to hide her face but kept whispering in his ear and laughing. ‘As soon as a fan recognised her, though, she dropped Chris’s hand and they both raced into the Winnebago area,’ adding that ‘they were sticking together for the whole evening.’

Holding hands is cute and sweet and whatever, but if you’re over 21, a dude doesn’t hold hands with a chick unless he’s gay and running to brunch, or he’s not gay and has has her nipples in his mouth in the last 6 hours. In the last 12 hours if it’s been 24 hours since he’s had her nipples in his mouth. So if you ever wanted to bang Katy Perry, and you’re a moderately talented white musician, shoot your shot.



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Katy Perry Ranked The Dudes She’s Banged
Katy Perry Ranked The Dudes She’s Banged

 

Remember that weird ass Katy Perry livestream? It got weirder.

During her four-day livestream to promote new album ‘Witness’, Perry was joined by James Corden, who asked her to rank the bedroom prowess of three of her famous lovers: Diplo, Orlando Bloom, and John Mayer. Perry called all three “amazing lovers”, adding jokingly that she “wants to have sex with all of them when I get out of this place!” But when pressed by Corden, she ranked Mayer first, followed by Bloom in second, and then Diplo third because “he’s a DJ”.

Diplo was not pleased. Not that we should care.

In his defense, he’s probably still bitter about the time Lorde told the world he has a little dick. Russell Brand is probably too busy making a YouTube video while high on shrooms to care. John Mayer probably printed this out and had it framed or attached it to his resume.

 

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Katy Perry Apologized For Cultural Appreciation Or Something
Katy Perry Apologized For Cultural Appreciation Or Something

 

Katy Perry has album to promote that isn’t selling, so I guess she’ll keep talking about Taylor Swift until Taylor Swift talks to her. Oh, and it’s 2017 and Katy Perry is white, so that meant she had to sit down with a black person and apologize for trying a hairstyle.

 

 

I could have just posted the thumbnail for this video and you’d probably figure out what was happening here. Deray would rather get lynched that take that damn vest off. The actual discussion and apology was a useless waste of time, because well, the usual.  Anyway, we’d could speed this whole thing along if people understood the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation. Pretty soon white people will telling black people they can’t fly on airplanes or use the Internet because white people invented them, and until black people get a white friend to explain that to them, race relations will never improve. Yes, this is how dumb you sound. I’d much rather we will join forces in unity to speak out against Katy’s new hairstyle.

 

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68% Of Katy Perry’s 99 Million Twitter Followers Are Fake Bots
68% Of Katy Perry’s 99 Million Twitter Followers Are Fake Bots

 

Katy Perry has 99.3M Twitter followers. Does that seem right to you? 99.3M people can’t want to know what Katy Perry is up to every day. Jezebel has answers.

The world’s gone mad for double-checking numbers after news broke suggesting that almost half of Donald Trump’s Twitter followers are either fake accounts or bots. Naturally, the supposed most followed person on Twitter, Katy Perry, is ripe for scrutiny—Digital Spy plugged her handle into the TwitterAudit service and found that of the pop star’s alleged 99.3 million followers, only 32 percent (31,498,471 at the time of publication) are real. That means 66,934,252 are fake. Adding insult to injury, the pop-star rival Perry is most vocal about feuding (and wanting to patch things up) with, Taylor Swift, has supposedly 88 percent real followers (74,230,872 real versus 9,740,703 fake).

 

IDLYITW

 

Haha, take that, Katy! If you would also like to follow us at not be fake, please do so here. Pretty please? I’l do that thing you like.

 

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