Kathy Griffin Hired A Lawyer And Is Holding A Press Conference Today
Kathy Griffin Hired A Lawyer And Is Holding A Press Conference Today

 

Kathy Griffin has hired Lisa Bloom, a high-profile celebrity lawyer who has also represented the women accusers of Bill Cosby and Bill O’Reilly. Why? For the most 2016-2017 reason of all.

“Earlier this week, Ms. Griffin released a controversial photograph of herself posing with a faux-bloody mask of Donald Trump’s face. Ms. Griffin and Ms. Bloom will explain the true motivation behind the image, and respond to the bullying from the Trump family she has endured.”

Bullying? This is what we’re doing? What the fuck did you think was gonna happen? But, okay. Cool. Conservatives now have another “out of touch Hollywood elite” and “special snowflake” they can decapitate and hold up then next time something happens. Thanks, Kathy. I really don’t give a fuck if this hurt Trump’s feelings, it was tasteless and vile. Yes, the same tasteless and vile shit that Obama endured for 8 years. How about we not do it anymore, k? And if you’re defending holding up a severed heard covered in blood is somehow art, pull the partisan hack out of your ass. But a press conference and a lecture about online bullying because your joke was lame so you can make an even bigger issue of an issue you totally created yourself? I’m here for this drama right now. Thank you, Kathy. Means a lot. Be sure to appear makeup free so people will know just how much you’ve suffered.

 

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Kathy Griffin Is Super Edgy
Kathy Griffin Is Super Edgy

 

While liberals dropped their vapes over a dog statue peeing on a girl statue and hate crimeterrorism because the guy was white, conservatives clutched their pearls and free healthcare for all accidentally fell out a because they were so shocked that Kathy Griffin and artist Tyler Shields went full ISIS video in mocking Donald Trump. Here’s her reasoning from her now deleted Instagram post. It didn’t go over well.

Here’s my artsy fartsy statement! I’m mocking the guy who mocks everybody. EVERYBODY (well, not the Russians so much) Anywhoo…If you could’ve seen us trying to fashion a Trump mask…haha We started playing around w props, etc, so I shall title this work “there was blood coming out of his eyes, blood coming out of his…WHEREVER.” OBVIOUSLY…I do not condone or encourage any of my fans / followers or ANYONE to cause harm to ANYONE. Verbally or otherwise. KG.

Trump or Obama or anyone, is it really a good idea to joke about killing the President? Is that something you really out here trying to to do? You too, Ted Nugent. Dumbass. In their defense, most of my fellow liberals called Kathy Griffin an idiot (shout out to Chelsea Clinton). I don’t know what Lena Dunham had to say, but I assume it was this.  Kathy Griffin was basking in her newfound relevance until the Secret Service was like, “oh”, then Kathy put on her worse wig to make an apology video.

 

 

Now there’s outrage over the outrage because there’s always something WORSE going on in the world. Specifically, the political narrative you were trying to push before this pic dropped. You’re all pretty stupid.

 

It’s ok, boo.

 

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Kathy Griffin Jumped The ‘Fashion Police’ Ship

Giuliana Rancic had to stress eat a baby carrot after she made dumb comments about Zendaya’s hair during the Fashion Police Oscar coverage, but before she could throw that up, Kelly Osbourne quit the show. Now, not even a week later (and less than 24 hours after she walked by Rancic’s dead body and did the Kanye shrug) Kathy Griffin has decided to jump off this shit before it circles the drain.

“I thought that I could bring my brand of humor to Fashion Police so beautiful people in beautiful dresses could be teased when appropriate,” she said via Twitter.  “I do not want to use my comedy to contribute to a culture of unattainable perfectionism and intolerance towards difference. I want to help women, gay kids, people of color, and anyone who feels underrepresented to have a voice and a LAUGH.”

You can read her full statement here, or you can not read it, because please keep in mind, we’re talking about E!’s Fashion Police. I swear, if Joan Rivers was alive, I’d dig her up and see how much they give me for her at a recycling center.

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Lady Gaga Was Productive

I know, I know, this bitch again. It’s a slow news day. From Radar Online:

The Senate’s historic vote to repeal the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy has led to an outpouring of Twitter support from celebs, with Lady Gaga leading the cheers.

“Can’t hold back the tears + pride,” Lady G Tweeted. “We did it!! Our voice was heard + today the Senate REPEALED DADT. A triumph for equality after 17 YEARS.”

The singer has been has been among the most vocal critics of DADT. She frequently railed against it during concerts and even released a video
demanding the repeal.

Kathy Griffin wrote, “FINALLY! Equality IS coming.”

Ellen DeGeneres Tweeted, “Thank you Senators for pushing us one step closer towards full equality.”

And Ricky Martin added his voice, Tweeting ” DADT is gone! Historical!”

So some unattractive public figures (and one goodlooking one who enjoys golden showers) endorsed a bill benefiting the demographics that hurl the most money at them. I just fell asleep writing this because it feels like I’m watching CSPAN.

Because I too like exploiting our fanbase for site hits seeing you happy, here is Doutzen Kroes in lingerie. We did it!

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If You Like It, Then You Should Have Put A Link On It.

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Vern Troyer got wasted for his 40th Birthday, then put on a sailor hat and rode his buddy around. [TMZ] Dunken Vern will answer your questions this Sunday. Comment it up, people.

Meryl Streep is Julia Child, which might be confusing because one is dead and the other was in Mama Mia, a movie that made me wish I was dead.[Just Jared]

The Kardashian Sisters all looked the same on New Years Eve, which was great news for fugly Khloe, and a horrible down-grade for Kim. [Bastardly]

Kathy Griffin won’t come to where you work and knock the dicks out of your mouth. And she said that standing next to Anderson Cooper. [DListed]

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are so boring, they probably went to a Farmer’s Market every weekend this year. This is where the punchline would be if that was a joke. [Socialite’s Life]

Kate Bosworth gets the honor of first nipple-pics of 2009. Congratulations. Now don’t make another Superman movie, because you helped it suck. [Egotastic]

I finally found something scarier than clowns: celebrity clowns. [City Rag]

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