BREAKING: Katherine Heigl Is Still A Huge Bitch
BREAKING: Katherine Heigl Is Still A Huge Bitch


To recap, Katherine Heigl was the breakout star of Grey's Anatomy, then sh felt she was bigger than the show and publicly blamed the writers for her not getting an Emmy nomination. She was basically kicked off the show, and she was cool, because she was going to be a big movie star obvs. You know, except that didn't happen, because she was an insufferable cunt on every set to the point where casting her wasn't worth it since nobody went to see her movies anyway. She then practically begged to get back on Grey's, and nope. Now here we are today with another Katherine Heigl story. A story that involves her suing a drugstore for $6M because they had the audacity to take her picture while she was shopping and post it on Twitter. Yes. You read that right.

Katherine Heigl filed a civil lawsuit on Wednesday, April 9, in New York against the drug store Duane Reed after the brand tweeted and Facebooked a photo of the actress near one of their establishments while on set of her new TV series. The former Grey's Anatomy star is claiming the New York store used the unauthorized paparazzi photo to as an advertisement on their social networking sites. "Duane Reade is liable for not less than $6 million in compensatory and punitive or treble damages," the lawsuit reads. The 15-page document sites the tweet that was posted in March. It reads: "Love a quick #DuaneReade run? Even @KatieHeigl can't resist shopping #NYC's favorite drugstore." The suit goes onto say that, if compensated, all proceeds will go to The Jason Debus Heigl Foundation, a charity established in 2008 after Heigl's brother was killed in a car accident. "We expect Duane Reade to pay for its willful misuse of Katherine Heigl's name and likeness," the 35-year-old actress' lawyer Peter Haviland said (via Reuters).

If Katherine Heigl is on Facebook, she's probably had a status that read, "I HATE DRAMA!". You all know what I'm talking about.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Was Voted The Most Hated Celebrity In Hollywood

In a poll conducted by Star Magazine, Gwyneth Paltrow was named the Most Hated Celebrity. Why? Because she's completely hateable and an overall vile and pretentious human being who would probably kill herself if she if somebody showed her a picture of a Taco Bell. Anyway, here's the rest of the Top 10.

1. Gwyneth Paltrow
2. Kristen Stewart
3. Jennifer Lopez
4. John Mayer
5. Katherine Heigl
6. Matt Lauer
7. Madonna
8. Justin Bieber
9. Anne Hathaway
10. Kris Jenner

Not sure why Chris Brown or Tom Hanks aren't ranked higher. Especially Tom Hanks. I read a story last week that said he has a farm where he makes Cambodian orphans drown puppies. It was pretty terrible.


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Katherine Heigl Doesn’t Understand How Motherhood Works

In 2009, Katherine Heigl and her husband Josh Kelly adopted a 10-month old Korean kid. You’re not gonna believe this, but the kid the was like, “wtf, bro? Who is this bitch?”. And Katherine Heigl doesn’t understand why exactly. I mean, SHE’S HER MOTHER!!! People reports:

“People are always talking about the strong bond between mother and daughter, this magical connection – but we didn’t have that,” Heigl says. She described the early days with Naleigh as “the hardest time in my life. … I fought incredibly hard for my daughter to accept me as mother. Her rejection almost broke my heart.” She described the early days with Naleigh as “the hardest time in my life. … I fought incredibly hard for my daughter to accept me as mother. Her rejection almost broke my heart.” Heigl found the rejection so oppressive that she threw herself into her work which, she admits, “made the already difficult process of getting closer take even longer. … When I realized that, I immediately cut back on work.” The child did bond with Kelley, which made Heigl wonder if she might be the problem. “At first I blamed myself and thought I was a bad mother. It took a while before I could admit to myself that the lack of trust had nothing to do with me,” she says.

I know it’s hard for Katherine Heigl to understand why someone wouldn’t instantly love her as soon as they laid eyes on her, but a baby isn’t a puppy or a Care Bear. Especially when you buy the baby and fly it across the world because you didn’t want to give up smoking and drinking long enough to have your own. You know, it might take time for the baby to realize she’s been bought and settled into her new home. Or maybe she was pissed that Angelina Jolie didn’t adopt her and now she has to spend the rest of life with an annoying cunt and her emasculated husband with the beard. A beard? Seriously, bro? What are you, a barista? Shave that shit.

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Katherine Heigl Is Still A Pretentious, Confused Bitch

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If you’ve read this site for a while, you know I do not care for Katherine Heigl. And I’m saying that as politely as possible. Why do I not care for her? Well, I’m glad you asked. After she was the third choice to play the lead in the highly successful, Knocked Up (the movie that gave her a career outside television), instead of being thankful and grateful, she immediately shit on it to anyone who would listen saying the film was sexist and offensive to women. In 2008, when she wasn’t nominated for an Emmy for Grey’s Anatomy, she threw the writers under the bus and said she “did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination”. She was summarily fired and has recently begged to get back on. Then there was the time she called out an announcer when she was presenting at the Emmys because he mispronounced her name. Because everybody should know how to pronounce “Heigl” (btw, what are you a Nazi?). Anyway, yesterday in an article she wrote for iVillage, Heigl has aimed her cunt gun at Dance Moms because she doesn’t want the Asian kid she adopted because her vagina is too pure and pristine to ever condescend to think about childbirth to live in a world where children are in pageants.

I’m not much of a reality TV watcher. I tend to stick mostly to the comedies and dramas that I love, but I recently happened to catch an episode of Dance Moms and watched with open-mouthed amazement as girls as young as seven were encouraged to dress provocatively and shimmy around a stage doing a dance performance that could just as easily been a burlesque routine. I kept thinking all these girls were missing is a pole! I was also horrified by the way their instructor spoke to them when she felt they weren’t up to snuff. It was demeaning, belittling, and downright unkind. I pray that I reach my daughter and am able to guide and support her growth as a woman and hope with all my heart shows like this don’t get to her first.. It is a true challenge we parents have ahead of us and the stakes are very high. We will have to perpetually battle and kick against the values mass media prioritize and emphasize those that truly matter. We will have to find a way to convince our children that what they see in the world around them is not always right and true even when it’s far more prevalent than what we tell them is right and true. We will have to hope, pray, and beg them to trust us and commit every moment to earning their trust so that we can ensure their emotional, spiritual, and physical well being and self-worth.

As you read this sanctimonious, holier than thou bullshit, let’s all take a trip back to 1994 where a 14-year old Katherine Heigl starred in My Father The Hero. A movie where she walked around IN A FUCKING THONG THE WHOLE TIME. But let’s just ignore that hypocrisy because Heigl has a high horse to ride. Mostly about her being a better parent than you. I realize she thinks that she’s one of those strong, empowered women who just “tells it like it is, gurlfren'”, but that’s the problem. You don’t tell it like it is. You tell it like YOU think it is. Sometimes it’s better to shut the fuck up and not worry about how other people live their lives. Nobody cares what you have to say. Especially my father. He never loved me that’s why I sabotage my relationships and turn away anyone who loves me. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR KATHERINE?! IS IT?!

P.S. Stop being a cunt.

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Katherine Heiglinks

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Layla Flaherty in see-through undies [Taxidriver Movie]
Clemence Poesy topless [The Nip Slip]
Miley Cyrus is classy [The Superficial]
Arianny Celeste is in a bikini. Surprise! [Popoholic]
Gabriel Aubry claims innocence [Celebitchy]
Blake Lively can’t open a movie [The Blemish]
Girls in R2D2 swimsuits. Okay. [Zoo Today]
Sara Jean Underwood exists [Coed Magazine]
Kim Kardashian needs gays now [Cityrag]
Demi Lovato might be on drugs again [Dlisted]
Taylor Swift acting 10 years her junior again [I’m Not Obsessed]
Jordan Carver is stacked [Moe Jackson]
Kris Jenner to sell out Khloe Kardashian‘s real dad on TV [Popbytes]
Demi Moore naked retrospective [Egotastic]
A Teen Mom had a miscarriage [Allie Is Wired]
Warren Buffett has advice for you [The Chive]
Lana Del Rey pre-lip implants and label makeover [Popcrush]
Justin Bieber is romantic [Popcrush]
Ashton Kutcher gives no fucks [A Socialite’s Life]
Seal and Heidi Klum‘s breakup is all Aspen’s fault [Amy Grindhouse]
Dan Cortese got nude with Betty White [Tabloid Prodigy]
Madonna cried at her premiere [Huffington Post]
Demi Moore was grinding on a 27-year-old [Hollywood Tuna]
Demi Moore is still a cougar [Celebuzz]
Imogen Thomas is in a bikini [Celebslam]
Lana Del Rey is a bitch [Evil Beet]

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Other People Showed Up To The American Music Awards Too

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Alanis Morrisette was there for some reason. She’s Canadian and not that relevant anymore, but she used to bang Ryan Reynolds for a long time, so she gets a pass.

It almost makes sense that Audrina Patridge showed up, because her story line in The Hills involved her pretending to work for a record label and staring at the ceiling a lot.

Heidi Klum is still taking one for the team and banging Seal. She can do what she wants.

Jenny McCarthy has no discernible talent when she wears dresses like this. Al Qaeda: 2

Katherine Heigl took a break from making shitty movies and complaining about how hard it is to stand on an ‘X’ and recite lines that someone else wrote for her to remind us that she exists. Al Qaeda: 3

I guess craft services had churros.

Katy Perry won a special achievement award for being the first female artist to have five number 1 singles from a single album despite sounding like a cat being skinned every time she opens her mouth. Al Qaeda: 4

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Katherine Heigl Is A Great Wife

Splash calls these pictures “Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley have a date night in Los Feliz, CA”, so I can only assume it’s Josh Kelley’s birthday because he’s dressed so fancy. So either that white car is a time machine and they have a tabled reserved at Studio 54 or they’re meeting a shaman to get Josh Kelley an amulet. Because based on movies that I’ve seen, that’s the only to stop him from turning him into a werewolf. Nice chest hair, jackass.

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Katherine Heigl Had A Malfunction

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This may surprise you, but there’s only a few people I write about that I generally want to see mauled by a cyborg bear, and Katherine Heigl is one of them. She’s an insufferable bitch (here, here, here) who doesn’t miss an opportunity to shit on everything and everyone who made her famous. So of course she’s lauded and praised by Hollywood. Like the award she won yesterday at the ShoWest 2010 Awards Ceremony in Las Vegas. New York Post reports:

Acceptance speeches usually prompt more yawns than gasps, but Katherine Heigl bucked that trend when she received a Best Actress award in Las Vegas late Thursday – and came within a whisker of exposing her boob, The Sun reported. Executing the lightning-speed reactions of a top flight goalkeeper, Katherine grabbed hold of her broken dress as it rapidly headed south. Her wardrobe mishap occurred as she took the stage to collect her Female Star of the Year prize at ShoWest’s Final Night Banquet and Award Ceremony. Explaining why the Knocked Up star was picked for the honor, event official Robert Sunshine said: “Her ever-present charm and innate talent have made Heigl’s transition from TV screen to silver screen seemingly effortless. “Her comedic timing and flair for acting are showcased in each of her roles and have captivated audiences around the globe.”

Whatever. Who cares? Katherine Heigl is a marginal actress who has tricked people into having an overinflated opinion of her completely average looks, so it really is a mystery why she’s such an ungrateful bitch. Also a mystery? Stonehenge.

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Katherine Heigl…Well, You Know

Katherine Heigl and her whipped husband went shopping for strollers yesterday, and as you see, she spent all day with a lollipop shoved in her mouth. I realize I’m supposed to make some lame sexual joke right about now, but please keep in mind you’re looking at Katherine Heigl. It’s hard to get turned on when know that after she finished she called a reporter and wrote a 10-page letter to the candy company complaining that the lollipop was sexist and made more money than her.

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Katherine Heigl Complains About Everything

Katherine Heigl is a grating, annoying bitch who holds a press conference every time she experiences the slightest inconvenience, so of course she is going to complain about her new movie. Yes, already. Splash News reports:

Katherine Heigl found that having to fake an orgasm for her role in The Ugly Truth was really exhausting. In one particular scene, Katherine’s character has a When Harry Met Sally moment when her character has an orgasm after mistakenly wearing a pair of vibrating pants to dinner and the control ends up in the wrong hands. “Oh, my God, it was a nightmare. It was really exhausting – legs dancing under the table and all the tensing-up of the body. By the end of the day, I felt like I’d run a marathon. No one wants to orgasm 35 times a day.”

Jesus, can anything please this cunt? “No one wants to orgasm 35 times a day”? I mean, I got shit to do too, but I’m sure I could find the time to squeeze into a vagina 35 times a day. I get an hour for lunch, so that leaves me like what, 25 minutes to update Facebook? I’m not really seeing a problem with that.

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