Katharine McPhee attended the People’s Choice Awards 2015 Nominations Press Conference yesterday, and I really don’t care about that, but my penis is sitting right here with me somewhere and he said his choice is her ass and legs. The last time we heard from Katharine McPhee, she was basically banging a married dude against a car in broad daylight, so let’s not pretend that what I just said will offend her. To be honest, it actually offends me that you would think that. What about my penis’ feelings? What has he ever done to you to make you speak about him in this way?
"Hi, everyone! I'm Katharine McPhee! I'm a wonderful person!"
To recap, Katharine McPhee basically banged a married dude from Smash against a car in full view of paparazzi last year, the married dude then realized he had a wife and two kids, so he cut off McPhee like Herschel's leg. Then McPhee's dumbass husband, Nick Cokas, took her back. She thanked him by filing for divorce.
Katharine McPhee has finally pulled the plug on her marriage from the man she publicly cheated on. Katherine's rep released a statement confirming the divorce, saying, "After six years of marriage, and having been separated for the past year, [Katharine] has filed for a dissolution of marriage from Nick Cokas." The rep added, "The two have an amicable relationship and will remain friends."
If "the two have an amicable relationship and will remain friends" means "he hasn't gotten around to unfriending her on Facebook yet", then yeah, they'll remain friends. But optimistic publicist speak aside, he's not remaining friends with this bitch. These hos ain't cordial.
I guess "Smash" wasn't a complete loss because Katharine McPhee stole Mary McCormack's husband, Michael Morris, from the set. TMZ reports:
Katharine McPhee is dating her former "Smash" director Michael Morris, TMZ has learned … and they're even making out in public — problem is, THEY'RE BOTH MARRIED TO OTHER PEOPLE. Morris is married to actress Mary McCormack (who played Howard Stern's wife in "Private Parts") … and they have 3 young daughters together, ages 2, 6 and 9. 29-year-old Katharine is married to 47-year-old producer Nick Cokas — they have no children. Sources close to Katharine and Nick tell TMZ … the two have been separated for 6 months and are living apart. They were married in 2008.It's unclear where Michael's relationship with Mary stands — but it seems it's also on the ropes, because over the weekend he was sucking face with Katharine in broad daylight in L.A. like he didn't care who saw. The two weren't shy with the PDA either — holding hands and cuddling each other in Hollywood.
So they meant "smash" literally, then? That's cool. I would offer, but apparently Katharine McPhee's vagina's favorite movie is This Is 40.
During times of a national tragedy, there's one thing that we as Americans can rally around and take comfort in. And that thing is DAT ASS. Thank you, Katharine McPhee. You are a true patriot.
Unless you died on or around Thanksgiving, NBC has beat you over the head with promos for Smash starring Katherine McPhee. I had planned to live tweet the premiere last night because I wanted to feel what it felt like to get a estrogen shot, but I realized I don’t wear capris so I watched the Thunder/Trailblazers game instead. But the five minutes I watched made me realize Glee would actually have to air gay sex to get more gayer than Smash. It also made realize that I really need to get Katharine McPhee pregnant. Anyway, she did an interview in GQ in which she said a bunch of words. I was going to read it, but then I remembered that’s really not something that concerns me.
I realize this movie has been out for a while and I barely know who Sara Paxton is, but I guess we all should have thought about that before some 13-year old screencapped Sara Paxton in a bikini. IMDB tells me that Shark Night 3D is about “a weekend at a lake house in the Louisiana Gulf turns into a nightmare for seven vacationers as they are subjected to shark attacks”. That sucks. Maybe one day white people will realize that sharks can’t grow legs and can only attack you in the water. No, seriously. I was surprised to find that out myself when I was two.
The Independent Spirit Awards were yesterday, but their main draw was a pregnant chick who plays an anorexic lesbian dancer in a movie. That said, here are some shots from the QVC Red Carpet Style Party, featuring Katharine McPhee, Katie Cassidy, and newly-18 Victoria Justice. Chances are they’ll never be on a red carpet to accept any awards, but they’ll probably look better posing than most of nominees, so they’re the real winners.
Katharine McPhee forgot for a while that she was the hottest piece of ass ever on American Idol after married some old dude and chopped all her hair off and dyed it blonde, but according to my penis, she’s back to being hot again. And my penis is always right. He has several advanced degrees and is a formidable foe in games of strategy such as Chess and Risk.
Former American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee was walking around LA this weekend, and although I appreciate the see through shirt, it doesn’t change the fact that she used to the hottest piece of ass to ever come out of that show. She lost, married some 42-year old dude, now she looks like some dyke ghost torn trapped between the living and the dead who is wandering Earth to scare erections. I would write more, but my penis saw these pictures and hid under the couch. Katharine, why must you scare him like that?! What has he ever done to you?!!
David Cook, winner of season 7 of American Idol, announced yesterday that his brother, Adam, died after a long battle with brain cancer. Adam Cook passed away in a Terre Haute hospice at 1am Sunday morning surrounded by family and friends. The Insider reports:
“He took a turn for the worse this weekend and David rushed to get home. He was surrounded by his family, including his wife Kendra, his children, his father and his step-mom, among others.”
Not to sound like an ass, but hopefully David Cook can use this to write some better songs. All Kurt Cobain had was stomach pains and he managed to do okay, so brain cancer has to be good for something other than whatever vagina begging music Cook is doing now. Look man, I appreciate your mascara and the fact that you know a few chords, but you can see how you winning a karaoke contest means you’ll never rock anything other than a junior high prom or an episode of Gossip Girl.
Yeah, so since I’m not going to post pictures of David Cook or some Debbie Downer with cancer, here’s the insanely hot piece of American Idol ass, Katharine McPhee. I’m here to spread joy!: