Kate Upton Got The 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Anyway
Kate Upton Got The 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Anyway

 

After demanding to be on the cover of the 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, Kate Upton is on the cover. Why? Oh man, the totally best reason.

The theme of this year’s issue centers on body diversity and age inclusion, something that was very important to SI Swim editor MJ Day. It’s also one of the reasons Upton was “proud” to return to the magazine.

Spin it, Kate!

To have an issue that focuses on that is really an amazing moment for me because I think it’s important for everyone to be the best they can be, but not to strive to be a company or industry’s idea of perfect,” Upton tells Sports Illustrated. “For SI to emphasize every different type of perfect is really inspiring. Those are the campaigns I want to do and the career I want to have — to inspire women to love themselves.”

I agree. Nothing says “body diversity and age inclusion” like a 24-year old skinny blonde with huge tits. Really breaking new ground here. They should do a food diversity issue next with tacos and chicken nuggets.

 

@kateupton is BACK!

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Kate Upton

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Kate Upton Is Demanding The 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover
Kate Upton Is Demanding The 2017 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover

 

Kate Upton, who could bee seen dazzling critics and audiences alike as “Chick With Big Tits” in The Other Woman, “Chick With Big Tits” in The Three Stooges, and “Chick With Big Tits” in Tower Heist, rose to Big Tit fame in 2011 in the SI Swimsuit Issue. She appeared on the cover twice. Flash forward to 2017, where the SI Swimsuit issue is “likely they will have three covers starring tennis champ Serena Williams, 63-year-old model Christie Brinkley, and possibly Kate Upton.” She’s not happy with that decision.

Sources tell us that an appearance by Upton — whose Rookie of the Year pictures in the mag in 2011 helped make her a star — is still up in the air because of her diva demands. “There was drama,” says the source. “Kate demanded that if she did the shoot, that she absolutely must get the cover. She also had a list of photographers and hair and makeup people she would only work with.”….The source continued of this time around, “She was being a big f - - king diva. She’s thinks she’s better than everyone because she’s an actress.”

I normally  don’t put too much into what Page Six has to say, but remember when this happened? And this? But not this. That was okay. I used to post about this chick everyday, so I guess I’m partially to blame. We all are. This is what happens when you let blonde chicks with big tits and no high school diploma into your country. They try to take over.

 

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Kate Upton’s Rack Did LOVE Advent
Kate Upton’s Rack Did LOVE Advent

 

Kate Upton is horrifically dumb and petty, but she’s blonde, reasonably attractive, and has giant tits. History teaches us, that much like NFL running backs, she will be relevant until she hits 30. So we have some time. She did LOVE Advent thing. Here’s the video.  They knew that bra didn’t fit.

 

 

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Kate Upton Lost Her Shit On Twitter Because Verlander Didn’t Win The Cy Young
Kate Upton Lost Her Shit On Twitter Because Verlander Didn’t Win The Cy Young

 

Kate Upton, who recently told black people what they should be angry about, went full on Kanye megaton on Twitter last after the Baseball Writers’ Association of America didn’t give her fiancée, Justin Verlander, the Cy Young Award. Like, she legit had a meltdown. Let’s witness it all again.

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Kate Upton Is Painfully Stupid
Kate Upton Is Painfully Stupid


Let me start this with Kate Upton didn’t graduate high school. But when she was in a high school, it was a private academy that costs $14K a year in an 80% white town in Florida. She also competed in equestrian events with her horses Roanie Pony and Zipper. Then she posed for pictures in a bikini for a few years then got engaged to a millionaire. So that right there tells you that when it comes to race relations in America, Kate Upton has a wealth of knowledge and insight to speak on behalf everyone in a country that was “discovered” by way of genocide and built on the backs of slaves. So let’s take a moment to sit and hear her nuanced argument on how minorities should behave. Take it away, Kate!

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Kate Upton Went After The Kardashians
Kate Upton Went After The Kardashians


Kate Upton just called out the Kardashians on Snapchat. This should go over well if Khloe isn’t hungry when she sees this. 

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Kate Upton’s Ass, Anyone?

Kate Upton is going back to modeling since that acing thing didn’t work out, and tomorrow she turns 23. Last night she had a birthday party at The Blond in NYC. But if she wants to get back into modeling, somebody should tell her that her ass was never star of the show. Hint: It’s her titties.


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Kate Upton Was Enaged At The MET Gala
Kate Upton Was Enaged At The MET Gala


Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander will never recreate his 2011 season or 2010 Kate Upton, but he’s been dating her for three years so I guess he had to ask her to marry him before people started asking questions. The point of this is that she was wearing an engagement ring at the MET Gala and people must have noticed. 

The model-actress is engaged to longtime boyfriend Justin Verlander, E! News can exclusively confirm. The 23-year-old bride-to-be debuted her stunning engagement ring, designed by her fiancé, on the red carpet at the 2016 Met Gala. “I’m really excited, he asked me right before season started so we’ve been keeping it on the down low for quite a while,” she told E! News exclusively. “So I’m excited to finally be able to share it with the world!”

Verlander signed a 10 yrs/$219.5M contract in 2009, so what a career path for Kate Upton. Job well done. They’ve both been pretty average since 2012 and if you’re a couple it’s good to have things in common. 


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Welcome Back, Kate Upton
Welcome Back, Kate Upton


Remember when I used to post about Kate Upton pretty much everyday and didn’t know how pic galleries worked? What a time to be alive. I don’t anymore because she’s been effectively replaced by this, and because Kate had to settle for a millionaire instead of a billionaire as was her original plan, I’m assuming. Anyway, she wore this to the Vanity Fair Oscar Party to show off what we’ve all not been missing (hint: not her face).


As is the custom, here’s the Kate Upton video I used to put in every Kate Upton post, because why wouldn’t I? It just didn’t make sense not to. 



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Kate Upton Did Harper’s Bazaar Australia

Quick story: I wasn’t going to post these, but I thought that when I already had them downloaded, so here they are. “They” being Kate Upton in  Harper’s Bazaar Australia. She looks like Katherine Upton. I think pic #3 wants to tell me about the benefits of a reverse mortgage. They do a great job of  lighting and flattering angles over there in Australia. They also do a great job with the whole minimum wage thing. So, yeah. I guess look at these. Or don’t. I really wouldn’t blame you either way.

 

 

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