Charlotte McKinney Wants You To Stop With The Kate Upton Comparisons

Page Six has gone all in on Charlotte McKinney, so they had a Twitter Chat with her today where she answered questions from readers. Because when I think of Charlotte McKinney, I think what are her likes and dislikes? What are her inner most thoughts? Does she think the science of atmospheric conditions can be refuted as they apply to #DeflateGate? Haha jk, when I think of her I think about her not talking and me banging her. Also, she’s really over the Kate Upton comparisons, you guys.

@mikeblaustein  I’m over it. I believe we’re two totally different people and we have different career paths. #AskCharlotte

I think the biggest difference is that Kate Upton has been on the cover of Vogue and Sports Illustrated and Charlotte McKinney has been on the cover of a club flyer. Not sure what kind of career path she wants, but somebody should point out that careers go to DWTS when they have nowhere else to go. The only thing that’s really left for her to do know is go topless and any and every opportunity so she can marry a baseball player so she can get pregnant immediately and just worry about the path to the ATM.

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Kate Upton Is Mad At Terry Richardson For The Cat Daddy Video
Kate Upton Is Mad At Terry Richardson For The Cat Daddy Video

If you can think of a time you knew who Kate Upton was before this video was released, please feel free to let us know other events that will happen in the future before you go back to your home planet that’s filled with mystical psychics.

“That was disrespectful, you could have told me!” the 21-year-old said she told photographer Terry Richardson, who posted the clip in 2012, after it went viral. The former Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue cover model told Vogue UK in a new interview that she was horrified to see the minute-long video of herself dancing while wearing an extremely small bikini go viral, in part because she thought it had just been filmed for fun and wouldn’t be seen by anyone who wasn’t at the photoshoot. But whether or not she wanted the video to be released, it was an immediate hit and has garnered more than 21 million views in the last three years, which might be why Upton’s opinion of it has softened slightly. “Now, obviously, it’s fine,” she said.

I can think of a lot of stuff to be mad at Terry Richardson about, like his glasses and the fact he’s probably a serial rapist who preys on young, desperate models, but a releasing a video of Kate Upton’s tits bouncing in slow motion isn’t really one of them. Like if ISIS released a video if them beheading Ted Cruz or Flo from the Progressive commercials, I’d create multiple Facebook accounts so I could like it more than once.

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Kate Upton Is Topless. Again.
Kate Upton Is Topless. Again.

The Fappening taught us that Kate Upton‘s vagina looks like somebody punted a head of lettuce. So that was pretty gross. It also taught us that she’s pretty much topless all the time. And, oh hey, look! She’s topless in this video for Sports Illustrated. Just stare at her boobs and nothing else, because you’ll be like, “wha? this doesn’t make sense. what’s happening here? were her hips sold on the black market? what is the meaning of this? I need answers.” Sorry to tell you this, but you will find none.

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The Jennifer Lawrence And Kate Upton Naked Pics Will Be In An Art Exhibit
The Jennifer Lawrence And Kate Upton Naked Pics Will Be In An Art Exhibit

You can pretty much get away with anything if you call it “art”. Like Miley Cyrus songs and Terry Richardson sexual assault or putting hacked naked photos on some canvas then serving wine and cheese to people who want to see Jennifer Lawrence’s tits ironically.

Following the hacking scandal seen ’round the world, LA artist XVALA has decided to display the leaked photos of Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton in his “No Delete” art show coming in October. The photos will be on printed on canvas, and will be life-sized and completely unaltered. On Sept. 3, Cory Allen Contemporary Art (CACA) announced in a press release that JLaw and Kate’s pics will be the latest addition to XVALA’s “Fear Google” Campaign. The art show, titled “No Delete” displays the 7-year collection of celebrity pics that XVALA has found on Google “in their most vulnerable and private moments, that were comprised by either hackers or the paparazzi.”

Wait, Kate Upton’s rack is gonna be printed on a huge canvas and completely unaltered? How much are tickets to this thing? Are they available on Ticketmaster and can I bring my own beer? You don’t want me drinking wine around those.

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Kate Upton Won’t Get Naked Because Of The Internet
Kate Upton Won’t Get Naked Because Of The Internet

If you’re holding your breath waiting for Kate Upton to get completely naked, sorry. She’s not.  It’s all your fault.

For me those photos are art. Your body is art, your body is beautiful, and to be photographed in that way is amazing and it’s received in a very positive way. But with social media and the Internet and not so great blogs and the attention like that, I don’t think that my pictures would be received in the way that I’d want them to be received. That’s why I’ve stayed away from them. I really appreciate those photos and I think those women are beautiful, but I think social media and the Internet has prevented me from putting myself out there like that.

Not sure I get this logic, because haven’t we basically seen everything Kate is working with already? Boobs. She’s working with boobs. That’s pretty much it. Take away those, and she’s a bartender in Daytona. No hips, legs look like they’ve atrophied, and the stomach is first cousins with Tara Reid. Unless her bikinis and bras require some sort of anti-gravity device and her vagina doesn’t have tentacles, I don’t think the Internet is gonna care too much.

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Kate Upton Is “Topless”
Kate Upton Is “Topless”

 

This picture of Kate Upton covered in a sheet was everywhere yesterday with the headline, "Kate Upton is topless!". The click bait struggle is real. If this was on Facebook, they probably would have changed it to, "Kate Upton took a picture on Instagram and you WON'T BELIEVE what happened next!!!"

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Kate Upton Is 22
Kate Upton Is 22

 

Kate Upton has been around for so long that when I found out today was her birthday, my first guess was "wow she has fantastic boobs how can I lick them". Then I forgot the original question. Anyway, she's 22 and here's her first shot when she signed with IMG. They probably left her face in just to be nice.

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Nope

Kate Upton also went to the MET Gala, and…..I don't even know to tell you the truth. She looks like she's just been cast for a show on the Discovery Channel about Jack The Ripper. (SPOILER: She dies).

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Please Pay Attention To Kate Upton’s Butt

 

It's unclear why Kate Upton would want anyone to focus on anything other than her massive, legendary rack, but in this Sports Illustrated behind the scenes video (I see what they did there), Kate Upton really thinks her butt doesn't get enough attention. And really, why should it? It doesn't even bounce or need elements not found on this planet to hold it in place. What message is she sending to young girls with this video? Pretty irresponsible if you ask me.

 

This is a Kate Upton post, so this video is automatically included:

 

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Kate Upton Did Vogue UK
Kate Upton Did Vogue UK

 

Kate Upton has kinda fallen off the map recently, mostly because she's been so overexposed she probably has radiation poisoning and we've all had three years to see that she has other things than huge rack. And most of those things aren't necessarily greatest. But did I mention she has a huge rack? Dude, just focus on the positive. Why you gotta be so negative all the time? What's wrong with you?

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