Kate Upton Remembered Why She’s Famous
Kate Upton Remembered Why She’s Famous

 

Earlier this week, Kate Upton said she wished she had smaller boobs. Then I guess somebody pulled her to the side and told her that if she didn't have a gigantic rack that she'd be a club hostess and doing used car dealership commercials. She loves her boobs now.

Speaking with Australian radio show 2Day FM, the 21-year-old clears the air about any rumors of an upcoming breast reduction. "I actually didn't ever say that. Yeah, no, I never said that," Upton says. "It's my body I'll tell you how I feel about it." "I would say that I think all women feel sometimes they don't have life perfect, sometimes they don't feel their best," the buxom blonde explains. "But I love my body. I always feel incredibly grateful for what I have, but there's times when all women don't feel their best."

Kate Upton is kinda like a paraplegic, because everything from the chest down looks like it hasn't been worked out in a while. If you can manage not to look at her stomach, ass, and legs, then her boobs will take you on a magic journey of wonder and magic. Like in the Bible when Jesus got sick air on that jet ski.

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Kate Upton Wants Smaller Boobs. Lies.
Kate Upton Wants Smaller Boobs. Lies.

 

This is like Beyonce saying she wants her legs amputated. You see what I'm saying here? It just…makes no sense.

The grass is always greener. Kate Upton, the world-famous supermodel who's well-known for her voluptuous assets, said in a recent interview that she wishes her breasts were smaller. "I wish I had smaller boobs every day of my life as I would love to wear spaghetti tops braless or go for the smallest bikini designs," the buxom blonde bombshell, 21, told British publication The Sun on Sunday, April 13. "Every single day I'm like, 'Oh man, it would be so much easier,' especially if people didn't constantly bring them up," the Vogue cover girl added. "If I could just take them off like they were clip-ons…" The two-time consecutive Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model continued to express her dismay over her busty body. "I know I say I wish I had smaller boobs," she shared, "and that's true because at least twice a day I wish that.

Women logic, brah. If they have big boobs, they want smaller boobs. If they have small boobs, they want implants. If they have straight hair, they want curly hair. If they have curly hair, they get it straightened. If they have a big ass, they want a smaller one. If they say everything is fine, everything is not fine. Women, I love you, I do, I really do, but you guys always know exactly what you want. The problem is, you have no idea what that is. Unless it's wine or tequila. Always wine and tequila. But, like, if Kate Upton wants to go braless, then what's stopping her? Just unhook it. I can do it with both hands in like ten minutes. Not to brag, but I'm pretty good at it.

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‘The Other Woman’ Had A Premiere

Despite looking like she was cursed by a warlock some time around 2002, Cameron Diaz is still being cast in romantic comedies. But now Hollywood has to cast hot chicks in her movies with her because, well, look at the banner picture. Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann are just happy to be here at this point. The film's script was rewritten and the title was changed to The Other Woman after the studio found out it was just Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann in the movie. "Wait, do what now? Nope." a studio executive said.

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Kate Upton And Her Boobs Are In Zero Gravity
Kate Upton And Her Boobs Are In Zero Gravity

 

I guess Sports Illustrated doesn't have really good health insurance for lower backs, because this year, Kate Upton and her gigantic rack are in zero gravity. Not really sure how they convinced her to do this, but they probably told her zero gravity means zero calories.

 

 

 

(more…)

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Here’s Kate Upton In The 2014 SI Swimsuit Issue
Here’s Kate Upton In The 2014 SI Swimsuit Issue

 

Of course, Kate Upton is in the 2014 SI Swimsuit Issue, and either her rack has gotten bigger or my penis has gotten smaller. Penises can't get smaller can they? I mean, I ran over that gypsy woman, but I'm pretty sure she was dead. She was dead, right? Oh god. What was that? Who's there? Why is my cat making that noise? What is that?! OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?!

 

pic source = Instagram

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Hello

Kate Upton attended the 50th Anniversary of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and being on the cover is probably going to be the top bullet point on her resume when she "retires" in 8 years and is looking for a Saudi prince or a French billionaire to marry her. Mostly because, no matter how hot a chick is in her 20s, they all (they all) hit the wall like Dale Earnhardt around 28. When they hit 35, you might as well throw them off the cliff like the Spartans did with deformed babies, because the hotness will be a long, distant memory. And while they're hot, the majority of non-famous chicks think they'll be hot forever, so they date and bang bar owners, DJs, club promoters, tattoo artists, and musicians. Then when they hit 28, they'll marry the first dude who calls them back the morning. That's usually Harold in accounting with the 2004 Chrysler Seabreeze because he's gone more than a year without his power being disconnected.  And if the patriarchy isn't cruel enough, most of us guys who bother to take care of themselves just get better looking with age, who then in turn, bang young chicks causing a never ending cycle of women hating each other. Anyway, when did Kate Upton get an ass? (had to end this post with a strong closer).

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Kate Upton Is Back With Justin Verlander
Kate Upton Is Back With Justin Verlander

 

Kate Upton broke up with Maxim Chernobyl last month, and now she's hanging out with her ex, Justin Verlander. They started dating in July 2012, and as expected, he had one of his best seasons. I have to think it's because he got to see this video every morning in real life. I know a friend who touched Kate Upton's boobs once gained the power to read minds.

 

 

Source & Source

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Kate Upton Is Single
Kate Upton Is Single

 

Once again proving that its very possible to get bored with banging anyone, Maksim Cheruishfgweegd8edyffygwwd6334ge (sp?) and Kate Upton have split up after dating for 6 months. Us Weekly reports:

"They are really good friends still and speak all the time, but their schedules just made it too difficult and it fell apart," an insider tells Us. "[Chmerkovskiy] has a lot of respect for her, but it just wasn't working anymore." (When contacted by Us, Chmerkovskiy's rep declined to comment on his personal life.)

 
Man, I hope Kate Upton can bounce back from this and not sink into a deep depression. I mean, she's a 21-year old blonde with huge tits who models bikinis. What man is ever going to want her?

 

 

Never forget:

 

 

pic source = Instagram

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Kate Upton Is Gonna Be In The ‘Entourage’ Movie
Kate Upton Is Gonna Be In The ‘Entourage’ Movie

 

If you're excited about the new Entourage movie, you're the reason why eugenics and forced sterilization are still a thing, but just in case you were wondering if the female lead wouldn't be obvious, sorry. It's Kate Upton. Maybe she'll bring some Hot Pockets or some sunglasses when somebody dies.

Kate Upton is being eyed for the female lead in the “Entourage” movie, multiple individuals familiar with the Warner Bros. project have told TheWrap. Though Upton has not been formally offered the role yet, she is in early discussions to join the cast, according to sources. While a representative for the swimsuit model-turned-actress has denied that any such talks are under way, they acknowledge that there was interest in Upton for the project earlier this year. Warner Bros. had no comment….Details of Upton’s potential role are being kept under wraps, though she could be playing the latest love interest of movie star Vincent Chase (Grenier), who always had a thing for curvy blondes.

So, if Kate is in the movie, that means she'll be playing herself. Man, that'll be some gripping cinema. I wonder if she'll win an Oscar for playing a dumb chick with huge tits who doesn't work out because filming 150 commercials a day doesn't really give her enough time to go to the gym. But when she retires at 25 to marry an Italian billionaire (not before getting pregnant because $$$$) she'll probably start doing yoga or something. Can't wait for the DVDs.

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