Michael Bay Body Shamed Kate Beckinsale
Michael Bay Body Shamed Kate Beckinsale

We can debate the hotness of Ashley Graham all day, but not Kate Beckinsale. Never Kate Beckinsale. We’ve all seen Underworld. Saying Kate Beckinsale isn’t hot is  just not something one does. Except I guess Michael Bay who did it repeatedly while promoting Pearl Harbor.  Roger Ebert said it was, “redundant special effects, surrounded by a love story of stunning banality”. He probably just copied and pasted that into every Michael Bay movie review. Take it away, Kate:

“I don’t think I fitted the type of actress Michael Bay the director had met before,” she shared. “I think he was baffled by me because my boobs weren’t bigger than my head and I wasn’t blonde. “I’d just had my daughter and had lost weight, but was told that if I got the part, I’d have to work out. And I just didn’t understand why a 1940s nurse would do that.

Then this bullshit.

“And then, when we were promoting the film…when he was asked about me, he’d say, ‘Kate wasn’t so attractive that she would alienate the female audience’ “He kept saying it everywhere we went, and we went to a lot of places.”

I probably shouldn’t say this, but I have a friend in LA with boobs bigger than her head (and three successful businesses) who went on a date with Michael Bay once. It was once, because apparently he talked about his car the whole time and told the wait staff (repeatedly) how lucky they were to have him dining in their establishment. What’s that all about? 

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Jim Bob Duggar Said People Who Commit Incest Should Be Excecuted
Jim Bob Duggar Said People Who Commit Incest Should Be Excecuted

WARNING: This post contains a gallery of Kate Beckinsale‘s Memorial Day legs. Guard the eternal souls of your children carefully!

In 2002, Jim Bob Duggar ran for U.S Senate, and since anybody named Jim Bob obviously has life figured out, he explained on his campaign website that “rape and incest represent heinous crimes and as such should be treated as capital crimes.” I mean, not Josh of course. Josh was free to molest because Jesus and stuff. Speaking of religion and politics, if any religion truly believed in an malevolent invisible man, wouldn’t they stay out of politics since the dude said he would eventually handle it? Jesus idgaf to politics, but since this America and you can’t go around killing people without repercussions unless you’re a cop, we can’t stone gay people or women who get abortions anymore, so they just try to make laws while saying they love and will pray for you. vegas doesn’t hedge bets this much. It makes sense I guess if you don’t think about it too much. But back to the story, Jim Bob said incest was punishable by death unless, you know, if your sister brushes her hair seductively in front you and your parents can cover it up unlike Kate Beckinsale’s hot ass legs.


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Hey There, Kate Beckinsale

If God was real, he would have made every woman look like Kate Beckinsale in Underworld, but since God is most likely a chick, we have some women who look like Lena Dunham and that’s why the weather in Georgia can’t seem to make up it’s mind. And that’s okay. Variety and all that. Luckily for us, Kate Beckinsale still shows up to events and stuff, and WENN tells me she went to something called L.A. Launch Of Frank Gerhy Designed Battersea Power Station. I have no idea who or what that is, but kudos to them for making this happen. Good job.

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Kate Beckinsale Celebrates Memorial Day

I always forget how stupidly hot Kate Beckinsale is, then she shows up in pictures like this from Joel Silver's Memorial Day party, then I remember again. I'm too tired to decide on what I'd like to do to her first, but if she could leave the heels on, that would be cool. You know what would also be cool? You clicking through this gallery. Don't act like I haven't noticed. I'm tired of you coming here everyday and not buying shit. Where you going? Nope. Bathroom is for customers only, bruh.

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Kate Beckinsale Looks…Ummm…Different


Hey, remember when Kate Beckinsale used to be one of the hottest chicks on Earth and would talk about banging and wearing lingerie around the house all the time? Good times, good times. Now instead of doing all that, she must must have found a really good groupon on Botox because she looks like this now. Specifically, like something you could order from Japan that would come to your door in discreet packaging..

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Kate Beckinsale Says Good Morning, Links

Feds Think Diddy Is F.O.P. (Friend of Pedobear)? [Dlisted]

What Is Rashida Jones Even TALKING About? [Fishwrapper]

Kate Moss Sunbathing Topless (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

The Vanity Fair Article Gwyneth Paltrow Tried To Stop Is About Her Having An Affair [The Superficial]

Courtney Stodden Has Big Lips! [Hollywood Tuna]

Emmanuelle Chriqui Looking All Kinds Of Ridiculously Hot And Curvy [Popoholic]

Chantelle Houghton got fat (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]

Lamar Odom's got recovery on his mind [TMZ]

Endless Love movie sex [Lainey Gossip]

Scott Eastwood, Jamie Dornan are leading contenders for ’50 Shades’ [Celebitchy]

5 Best Dressed at The Wallis Inaugural Gala in Beverly Hills [Moe Jackson]

The Fifth Estate is the biggest bomb of the year [Film Drunk

Alessandra Ambrosio is single [Celebslam]

Happy 21st Anniversary To Madonna's Album 'Erotica' And Book 'Sex' [COED Magazine]

Jason Segel Lost Some Weight [The Blemish]

Is Chris O’Dowd Joining James Franco in ‘Of Mice and Men’ on Broadway? [Evil Beet Gossip]

Finally Some Quality Control for Final Fantasy Games [Crave Online]

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Kate Middleton Recycles Her Post-Baby Style [Hollywood Life]

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Sup, Kate? Again.

Once again, here’s Kate Beckinsale promoting MILFWorld: The Awakening this time at the Berlin premiere. Goddamn, she’s hot. She’s hot right? I mean, I think we’re all secure with ourselves enough to say that, right? C’mon, ladies. Say it. Kate Beckinsale is hot. No, don’t be like that. Just say it…you can do it…say it with me…there you go. That wasn’t so bad was it? Now don’t you feel better? Awww, that’s okay. You know daddy’s here to help don’t you, baby?

Ladies, some advice from Kate (please read carefully):

“I’m the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can’t be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in. I’d rather he didn’t order in the sex.”

“I don’t like to walk around wearing no make-up with my hair rolled on top of my head on my days off. I think my husband would be a bit bummed out if I did. It’s nice to feel like you’re wooing the other person a bit, as once it degenerates into wearing yesterday’s sweatpants and farting on the sofa, you lose a bit of the spice. You’ve got to keep up the seduction phase – it’s fun.”

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Sup, Kate?

Every time I write one of these I take myself outside and kick my own ass because I always forget to include Kate Beckinsale. Mostly because I just take for granted that she’s physical perfection and will seemingly always be hot. Sorry, Kate. Or you’re welcome. Call me. Anyway, here she is at the Madrid premiere of Underworld: Awakening in a red dress and showing how easy it would be for her to trap me in a relationship with a pregnancy. My penis would refuse to pull out just on general principle alone.

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The 69th Golden Globes Were Last Night

Angelina was seriously giving Brad this look all night. The “you’re getting your balls drained and a sandwich of your choice as soon as we get home” look.

The Oscars’ half sister who only gets to see their dad every other weekend and every other holiday but not even then because her mom is on meth and therefore not very reliable the courts are involved now were last night, and it was even more mind-numbingly more boring than you’d imagined. Ricky Gervais was supposed to come and be funny again, but NBC only let him on stage for five minutes. And Madonna won an award. And somebody let a serial leg rapist dog with ADHD on stage. And I’m pretty sure Sidney Poitier died. Just a bad night all around. Anyway, here’s who won:

Best Motion Picture – Drama
The Descendants

Best Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical
The Artist

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
George Clooney, The Descendants

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy Or Musical Jean Dujardin, The Artist

Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture Octavia Spencer, The Help

Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion PictureChristopher Plummer, Beginners

Best Director – Motion Picture
Martin Scorsese, Hugo

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
Midnight in Paris

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt:

George Clooney and OMG Just Glad To Be Here Guys I’m Dating George Clooney Don’t Know If You Heard:

Sofia Vergara andsweetlordinheavendaddylike:

Gerard Butler and oh look Jess’ ovaries just dropped and she’s knitting something now:

Charlize Theron and probably a one-hitter hidden somewhere in that dress:

Kate Beckinsale and I just came twice I’m sleepy :

Salma Hayek and Siri what’s Spanish for “motorboat”?:

Jessica Alba and why was she there it was about acting oh that’s right tits:

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I Ain’t Sayin’ She A Golddigger

Oksana Grigorieva
is a victim of domestic violence, so she understands that the safety of her and her daughter knows no price. Except not. TMZ reports:

Oksana Grigorieva wanted to disavow her $15 million settlement with Mel Gibson because she felt Mel would pay a lot more to avoid the bad publicity … this, according to an email obtained by TMZ.

The email — sent on June 2, 2010 from Oksana to Eric George, the lawyer who negotiated her $15 million mediation package — is riddled with buyer’s remorse, complaining that George never told her about a domestic violence claim, which could have upped the ante.

Underscoring how important the tapes were during the mediation, Oksana says, “Forget about the tapes for the moment. This is the case of domestic violence.” The point — no one raised the issue of domestic violence during the mediation — it was about the tapes.

Oksana explains to George her relationship with Mel ended “because of Mels (sic) domestic violence, the only reason and the fact, with proof, and I run away to save my children.”

I would go into detail on just how fucked up this all is, but it was my birthday last night and I’m still recovering, so I’ll just say this: If Oksana really wants a lucrative case, Chris Brown is single. Hopefully this time he can finish the job.

To make up for having trollish unfit mothers as the banner photos twice in a row, here’s Kate Beckinsale in a bikini. Because she seems like a good mom, especially in photo 6.

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