Karlie Kloss And Taylor Swift Aren’t Friends Anymore Because Of Tom Hiddleston

A post shared by Karlie Kloss (@karliekloss) on

 

What was once slumber party scissoring and herbal tea, has turned petty for once-friends Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss. It was all Tom Hiddleston’s fault. Wait no, it was Taylor Swift’s psychosis.  Star Magazine reports: (via Cele|bitchy)

Another day, another squad member who’s ditched Taylor Swift. Once joined at the hip, Taylor and Karlie Kloss have fallen out, and it’s all because of Taylor’s embarrassing fauxmance with Tom Hiddleston. “Karlie actually warned Taylor that it was a bad, distasteful idea,” snitches a mutual friend. “Taylor slipped out and accused Karlie of being jealous, and they haven’t really spoken since.” Indeed, Karlie isn’t up for talking to – or about – her ex pal. She went so far as to cancel an Australian interview that had planned to ask about their friendship because “she didn’t have anything nice to say,” explains the source. “Things between them were never balanced: it was always Taylor calling the shots. Eventually Karlie was going to get tired of being her little minion.”

Even if this isn’t remotely true, it feels true, because Taylor Swift seems like the kind of chick who would scream, “YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS!” to friend she’s had for years if that friend points out an issue with her new dick. Milo kinda seems that way too.

 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Karlie Kloss Is Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar, Everyone
Karlie Kloss Is Today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar, Everyone

 

Taylor Swift’s brief fling with lesbianism, Karlie Kloss, is today’s 2016 LOVE Advent Calendar in what looks like a 1 min remake of Pretty Woman. The movie about a rich dude falling in love with a prostitute. They should reboot that as a star vehicle for Drake. Somebody else would have to direct since Garry Marshall is dead.

 

 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Karlie Kloss Is In The ‘Bad Blood’ Video Now
Karlie Kloss Is In The ‘Bad Blood’ Video Now

 

One of the benefits of making out with Taylor Swift and possibly (hopefully) scissoring her, is that you get to be in her upcoming music video for “Bad Blood”. As you can see, her character name is “Knockout”. Get it? Because she’s a knockout. And she’s dressed like a boxer instead of LL Cool J which I think was a missed opportunity.

 

 

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Karlie Kloss Is Trying To Make Young Girls Nerds

We last saw Karlie Kloss maybe possibly allegedly oh god please let be true scissoring Taylor Swift, now she wants all young girls to learn how to code for free. For free?! Where is this? France? Brazil?! You’ll get no free college here commie libtard unless you plan on making the NCAA billions and commit suicide over CTE. This is America, dammit.

I’m so excited to partner with the Flatiron School to launch the Kode With Karlie scholarship and give twenty young women a chance to spend two weeks with other coding students learning and having fun this summer! If one girl leaves the course inspired to keep learning code, I’ll be happy!…It doesn’t matter if you’re a fashion model or high school student, understanding code is so important because it’s the language that runs our world! Young women are shaping the world we live in and code is a tool for us to continue to have a big voice and say in our future.

In all seriousness,  this is pretty cool, because we all know women are very detail-oriented and can spot and remember a mistake from six months ago, so they’re natural coders. I just feel sorry for all the girls who applied who aren’t Asian.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Taylor Swift Is Already Denying Scissoring Karlie Kloss

Forget other things you might have read, but Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss having sex is the most important story of the day. Sorry. But as they do, Gossip Cop likes to ruin everything.

There’s nothing “#confirmed” about the alleged makeout session. Swift and Kloss are good pals who have held hands in public and been affectionate toward each other countless times. While the hazy photos from Thursday show Swift and Kloss embracing and it looks like they could be kissing, they actually were just trying to hear each other in the midst of a loud concert. A rep for Swift laughed off the Kloss rumor when Gossip Cop inquired, exclusively telling us the latest online gossip was “hilarious.” Swift and Kloss are friends and nothing more. Apologies to everyone who prefers the more sensational version of the story.

We can go with the “the concert was loud” angle if you want, but unless this is how Taylor Swift feeds Karlie Kloss, this is clearly a kiss. Klearly. Khis kis kotal kand komplete kissing kand khey krobably kent kome kand kanged christ Karlie Kloss has a dumb name.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Here’s Taylor Swift And Karlie Kloss Making Out

Hey, remember when Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss started hanging out all the time and Taylor, who usually has a different boyfriend every other week, said she was over dating and really wasn’t looking for a relationship anymore and wanted to focus on herself? I think “focus on herself” means “stare at myself in the mirror while Karlie goes down on me”. You know how girls say stuff that means something else like “it’s cool you didn’t text me back, no worries I know you were busy” and stuff like that.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Taylor Swift Is Like A Lesbian Now Or Something
Taylor Swift Is Like A Lesbian Now Or Something

 

Taylor Swift and Victoria’s Secret model Karlie Kloss (this piece) have been hanging out a lot recently, and by “recently”, I mean “24/7 love you long time”, and it has a lot of blogs with dreams of scissoring all in their heads. Those dreams might be real, or not. Who knows.

Victoria’s Secret model Karlie, 22, moved in just a few weeks ago, with sources close to the singer telling me that the duo have since been “completely inseparable.” “Taylor and Karlie have grown very close,” the source told me. “They are inseparable. Taylor wanted someone to live with her, to have some company, and Karlie jumped at the chance to move in with her friend. They spent a lot of time together before Karlie moved in but now they are rarely apart. They do everything together, from visits to the gym to going on road trips.” “It seems the 24-year-old country singer has found her soulmate,” wrote columnist Charlotte Griffiths, relying on anonymous sources with (apparently intimate) knowledge of the pair’s relationship.

Seems like typical gossip blog bullshit, right? DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNN

On Monday, however, her report was nowhere to be found. It had disappeared from the Daily Mails site without explanation. So what happened to Griffiths’ column? Sean Walsh, a spokesperson for the Daily Mail’s New York office, explained that the column—and later, the orders to delete it—originated from the paper’s sister publication in Britain, The Mail on Sunday, which has a special section on The Daily Mail’s website. “They asked us to spike it,” Walsh told Gawker, “and we have no idea why.”

What does this mean? Is this some kind of cover up? They kinda look a like and if they’re hanging out this much together, then they’re periods have probably synched by now, so it would make sense. But I’m not going to believe this until Karlie moves out then Taylor moves across the street then writes a song about her then buys another cat.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Taylor Swift Is Too Turned Up
Taylor Swift Is Too Turned Up

 

I was hoping this video was from the first stop on the Taylor Swift/Karlie Kloss Scissorfest 2014 tour, but as it turns out, Taylor and Karlie were just at the Ingrid Michaelson show in NYC last night. Which involved a lot of dudes in vests and white people dancing. Specifically, Taylor Swift. Karlie Kloss must be a leg man.

 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Karlie Kloss And Adriana Lima Seem Pretty Excited About These Bras

Let's be honest with ourselves, most of the Victoria's Secret stuff looks like shit and it's basically the American Eagle of lingerie, but unfortunately, Karlie Kloss and Adriana Lima don't model for Agent Provocateur or La Perla. So here we are, my friends. Enjoy.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone

Sup,

 

So here we are, my friends. Our 7th Thanksgiving together. I'd like to give thanks for all of you who continue to read this site even though I struggle with basic grammar and have yet to use spellcheck. But hey, at least it's not smallpox. That was a bummer when that happened. I hope all of you have a safe and happy Thanksgiving with plenty of food while ignoring your families. Especially your weird cousin who keeps looking at your ass. Anybody else see that? What's up with that guy? As you're pouring another drink, be sure to pause for a moment to give thanks for everything you have before you go to Target at 4am to slit somebody's throat for the last XBox One. As for me, I won't be wearing a shirt for the remainder of the week because I am culturally obligated to do so. Hopefully I won't get poisoned or slaughtered, because that would give me the sads. So anyway, let's all meet back here on Monday morning bright and early with the that hope this Thanksgiving doesn't end with any genocide, forced relocation, theft of any land, or mass rapes. Let it be, as it has always been, a misinformation campaign and an inculcated propaganda used to get you drunk enough to think Black Friday is a good idea.

 

XOXOXO,

Todd

Related Posts:

Tags: