Anna Kendrick Did CinemaCon
Anna Kendrick Did CinemaCon

 

I woke up mad planning to write about Kanye’s 400 years of “slavery was a choice thing, but then I realized I’m Native American and there’s a reason why you don’t see a whole group of us out literally anywhere. Y’all should helped us out, yo. I guess Buffalo Soldiers had an easier choice, but they killed us anyway. Thanks, guys. Glad we had that talk. So anyway, here’s Anna Kendrick at 2018 CinemaCon. Anna Kendrick who probably wouldn’t have existed if we had teamed up. I really like her dress.

 

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The Hired Womb Finally Had Kim Kardashian & Kanye’s New Kid
The Hired Womb Finally Had Kim Kardashian & Kanye’s New Kid

 

The woman Kim Kardashian and Kanye West paid to incubate their third baby just cashed her last check. I know this because she said it on her website.

January 15, 2018

12:47am

7lbs 6oz

Kanye and I are happy to announce the arrival of our healthy, beautiful baby girl. We are incredibly grateful to our surrogate who made our dreams come true with the greatest gift one could give and to our wonderful doctors and nurses for their special care. North and Saint are especially thrilled to welcome their baby sister.

Love,

Kim Kardashian West

Yay. Kim and Kanye have a new kid. What a gift to the world. Sorry, I meant who cares. Not sure how late I am on this, but I assume kris Jenner has already bathed in the cord blood and recited an incantation outside the E! building.

 

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Kanye West Is Suing An Insurance Company For $10M Because He Canceled Tour
Kanye West Is Suing An Insurance Company For $10M Because He Canceled Tour

 

I’m not going to pretend I know what any of this means, but Kanye West suing an insurance because he couldn’t finish a tour seems very Kanye West.

Kanye West’s touring company is suing Lloyd’s of London to get its money back for the shortened Saint Pablo tour…According to docs, Very Good Touring filed a claim with Lloyd’s back in November. You’ll recall Kanye pulled the plug on his remaining tour dates after spending 8 days at UCLA Medical Center in late November. In the docs, Kanye’s co. says it had a policy with Lloyd’s to cover cancellation or non-appearance fees. However, Lloyd’s has yet to fork over a dime and, according to the suit … suggests it might not ever, because it suspects Kanye’s marijuana use caused his breakdown. Very Good Touring says Lloyd’s has no proof to back up its weed theory, and is merely looking for “any ostensible excuse no matter how fanciful” to deny payment on the policy. VGT is suing Lloyd’s for $9.8 million, plus interest.

Weed. Much like your racist aunt after black guy gets shot by police, weed is also an insurance company’s excuse for why they shouldn’t pay.

The court papers have accused the insurance firm of using an alleged “use of marijuana” as a factor in the stalled payment. West displayed erratic behaviour during his 2016 Saint Pablo Tour and was hospitalised for a week in November. Sources told BuzzFeed News the rapper had suffered from sleep deprivation, dehydration, and exhaustion. During one performance he reportedly arrived late, sang a handful of songs and left the stage.

I don’t even know why they should pay or why they shouldn’t pay, all I know is that Kim Kardashian is being sued for $100M right now. Kanye needs to say he got 1o on it.

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Kim Kardashian Is Hiring A Surrogate For Her Third Kid
Kim Kardashian Is Hiring A Surrogate For Her Third Kid

 

Yay. There’s gonna be another Kardashian/West kid. And somebody else has to be involved because of Kim Kardashian‘s placenta or whatever.

Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West have hired a surrogate, a source confirms to PEOPLE. Kardashian West has long made it clear on Keeping Up with the Kardashians that she wants another child – even though her doctors have warned her about the health risks of carrying another baby because she suffered from placenta accreta during her last pregnancy. Placenta accreta is a condition in which the placenta grows into the wall of the womb and prevents it from easily detaching at the time of birth.

You’d think as much money as this family has spent on plastic surgery that Kim Kardashian could get a discount on a new placenta, but whatever. That money is probably put to better use on Kylie’s face and Khloe’s woman suit. We don’t know how the surrogate is, but I’m sure Kanye made a strong push for Beyonce so Kim wouldn’t have to use one of her eggs and they wouldn’t have to spend money on getting the egg in there and stuff. Kanye wants to have sex with Beyonce is what I’m saying.

 

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It’s A Kardashian West Easter
It’s A Kardashian West Easter

 

If Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West are known for anything, it’s their love of Jesus and his teachings and pictures of themselves, so what better way to celebrate Jesus dying then being hatched from an egg 2017 years ago than a family photo where Kanye looks like he’s slowly dying inside?

 

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Kanye West Had A Meeting With Donald Trump Today At Trump Tower
Kanye West Had A Meeting With Donald Trump Today At Trump Tower

 

George Bush didn’t care about black people. Apparently Donald Trump does. So Kanye West just walked into Trump Tower today to meet with Trump and so Trump could have a photographic evidence of him standing next to a black person the youth of today enjoy. God help us all.
(more…)

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Kanye’s Breakdown Is Apparently Kim Kardashian’s Fault Or Something Now
Kanye’s Breakdown Is Apparently Kim Kardashian’s Fault Or Something Now

 

So after more information about Kanye West’s mental breakdown have surfaced, it’s not really funny anymore.  I mean, it still kinda is, because we’re all assholes, but at least his doctor had some foresight. There’s been a lot hot takes about this whole situation, but People might have the stupidest one. PSA: rant after the blockquote.

“Kim has had a very rough time since the robbery,” says a source close to the reality star, 36, who has been keeping a consciously low-profile lifestyle since early October. “It hasn’t helped that Kanye has been touring. Their lives have been quite chaotic. It’s been very trying for them both and not a good recipe for a happy marriage.” Before the robbery, the source says, “Kim [was] usually the more stable and strong person in the marriage. Kanye is used to leaning on her. Since Kim has had her own issues to deal with, the roles have been reversed. Kanye has had to stay strong to support Kim, and it’s like he can’t handle it anymore.” The source adds that the 39-year-old Grammy winner, who stands to lose millions after he canceled 21 dates on his Saint Pablo tour, “is totally wiped out from touring and just can’t handle it emotionally.” And with his wife and support system taking a step back in order to overcome her recent trauma, the source says, “It’s like Kanye is falling apart now, because Kim hasn’t been able to give him her full attention.”

So I didn’t really prepare myself to defend Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian on the same day, but uhhh, what the hell is this? I’m sure we can find a lot of things to blame Kim Kardashian for, but not co-sleeping with Kanye and keeping her tit in his mouth while she recovers from being fucking held at gunpoint in a robbery probably shouldn’t be one of them. Kanye is a grown ass man and his mom already died. He doesn’t have another one.

 

I’ll take this time to give Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian the second-hand attention they deserve. Imagine trying to make dresses for Khloe.

 

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Kanye Is Under Psychiatric Evaluation
Kanye Is Under Psychiatric Evaluation

 

Kanye West was forcibly taken to UCLA Medical Center for psychiatric evaluation earlier today. What did I tell you? Fun.

According to law enforcement sources … cops responded to a call for a welfare check on Kanye around 1:20 PM PT. He wasn’t at his home at the time. We’re told paramedics also responded and ended up transporting Kanye to the hospital by ambulance. Sources connected to Kanye tell us he was getting checked out by one of his doctors for severe sleep deprivation when someone — possibly the physician — decided he needed to be admitted. Law enforcement sources tell us Kanye did not want to go, and was restrained  when he was transported.

In today’s political climate, not sure if  “call for a welfare check” is problematic language or not here. Twitter will tell us soon. Anyway, get well soon, buddy. Trump’s Cabinet is filling up quick.

 

Kanye West

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Kanye Has Gone Full Kanye
Kanye Has Gone Full Kanye

 

When we last caught up with Kanye West, he told a crowd in San Jose that he didn’t vote, but would’ve voted for Trump. Apparently that was just the appetizer before the seven course crazy Kanye served up at his concert in Sacramento on Saturday night that only lasted two songs until he went into a 15-min rambling ass rant about Beyoncé, Jay Z, Hillary Clinton, Mark Zuckerberg, Google, the radio, MTV, and other shit then walked off the stage. Here’s a part of the rant I picked out, because like I said, it was like 15-mins.

“The Saint Pablo tour is more relevant than radio and if y’all keep following old models, your ass is going to be Hillary Clinton. You might not like it, but they gotta hear it. I ain’t here to massage you with a fake truth, telling you that Hillary gon’ win over and over and over and then you wake up [and] you still can’t believe it! You know why? Because you was lied to by Google. You was lied to by Mark Zuckerberg.

If you take out “The Saint Pablo tour is more relevant than radio and”, it’s kinda hard to argue with that. Everybody wants to know what drugs Kanye is now on/off now, but let’s not forget he’s an only child. It happens. Since all this happened, he canceled his LA show hours before it started, living in pure Twitter mentions hell because of Beyonce fans, and is just sitting at home posting pics from fashion catalogs on Instagram (99 so far). I honestly have no idea what’s going on, but it should be fun.

 

And if you’re in a bad place and want to feel better about your mental health, you can read the full transcript of Kanye’s Sacramento rant over at The Fader.

 

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Kanye West: ‘I Would’ve Voted For Trump’
Kanye West: ‘I Would’ve Voted For Trump’

 

Half the country didn’t vote, and apparently Kanye West was one of them. But….

Kanye West drew boos Thursday during a concert in San Jose, California, after telling the audience that, while he didn’t vote in the 2016 presidential election, he “would’ve voted for Trump.” The rapper reportedly stopped the concert and delivered a 25-minute political rant, shocking the crowd with his endorsement of the Republican president-elect. West admitted “there’s things [he] liked about Trump’s campaign … There’s methods, non-political methods to speaking, that I like – that I feel were very futuristic. That style and that method of communication has proven that it can be a politically correct way of communication. And I fuck with that.”

I for one am pretty shocked to learn that Kanye West is a xenophobic, sexist,  and misogynistic white supremacist who refuses to acquire job skills that allow him to compete in a global economy with the rest of America who can afford a college education. Doesn’t seem like the type I hear about on Twitter.  I don’t if if Secretary Of Twitter is a position still open in Trump’s cabinet or not, but I’d like to publicly endorse Kanye.

 

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