It's only a matter of time before Kanye West tell everyone to boycott Time magazine and the Vatican, because how many albums has the Pope even sold? He don't even wear jewelry like Ye, and where his Adidas? Shit's racist. Long story short, Kanye is delusional and can't seem to stop the voices in his head from spewing the most ignorant, unware things imaginable lately, and one of those recent rants inlcuded name dropping Arsenio Hall. So, at a Grammy-related press conference yesterday, Arsenio Hall decided to respond. Kanye might be busy for a while as he's trying to figure out how to turn back to human form since he's ether now.
In new Kanye West is a petulant child, jealous woman news, West brought his insatiable thirst and paranoia to the Hammersmith Apollo in London on Saturday night where he ranted for over 10 mins about the evils of corporations and the Grammys because they have yet to kneel and beg before him. MTV News reports:
Standing onstage alone during the G.O.O.D. music banger "Clique" at the Hammersmith Apollo, West started out giving props to London's creativity and slamming "business people" who make him sick. "People get on the phone with me and [ask me] … 'what kind of business are you doing?'" he said in a video of the incident on YouTube. "'What's the numbers? How much did you sell? What's the radio spins? How much shampoo can you sell with your face on it and s—?'" "Remind me again why we in this s—?" he sang over and over in an improvised bit. "Since when was making art about getting rich?" Soon enough, though, the not impecunious rapper took it way further. "I got love for Hov, but I ain't f—in' with that 'Suit & Tie,'" he sang, dissing the comeback single from Justin Timberlake that features Yeezy's Throne mate Jay....But West had other people in his sights as well. He went on to rail against the Recording Academy as well, telling the Grammys they can "suck my d–." The slam against the organization (as well as "every mother—in' sponsor" that puts their logos over his concerts and those annoying execs at backstage meet-and-greets who want to tell him about themselves) came just weeks after they awarded him three golden gramophones for his work with Jay and the G.O.O.D. crew….West also took another shot at Taylor Swift, whom he famously interrupted at the 2009 MTV VMAs. "Taylor Swift beat Beyoncé at the Grammys? Beyoncé be dancing in heels and s—," he said, according to reports. The longest part of his rant didn't name names, but it made some very strong comments about stars who take big bucks from corporations for selling drinks. "Can I sell your drink for you please? So you can help me put on a better show," he said in a mocking tone just months after Jay's wife, Bey, announced a $50 million deal with Pepsi that will have the soda giant investing in some of her creative efforts. Timberlake also recently announced a drink deal, in which he was named the creative director for Bud Light Platinum. "Please corporations? Can you please support me, Please? Me, Kanye West? I swear I'm a nice n—a now. I swear I'll put the pink polo back on. I swear to you. Please? Just for three million dollars. I need it so bad. I need a new pool in my back yard. So I'll tell all my fans your s— is cool. And if they believe in me they should also believe in you . . . Did we you the check yet? Did the corporation send the check yet? What's my public rating right now? Are people liking me again? Enough to get some money from the corporations? Are they liking me now? They forgot about the whole Beyonce thing right? Ok cool. Is it okay now?"
Hopefully he can take some of his Adidas money and get a vaginoplasty and some Lexapro, because it must exhausting to be constantly posing for a picture that nobody is taking. Yeezus sucked and your temper tantrum got you escorted out of the lobby of the most powerful and recognizable athletic apparel corporation in the world. I realize you might not have been taught this, but the world doesn't revolve you, bruh. I know, I know, sit down if you have to, it's okay. Take a deep breath. Breathe it out. Also, ranting against corporations then in the same sentence asking them for money is kinda a bitch move. At best, you're the greatest teenage white girl rapper who has ever lived. Nobody can take that away from you.
Look, I know there's nothing sexier than a 33-year old chick who just gave birth to her third husband's baby posing for a picture in a bathroom while not wearing panties, but can we all agree that we've all never seen a picture so capture the essence of Kanye West not pretending anymore that he's not a sociopath? Nice vacant, blank stare, homey. Also, nice shirt, bruh. You get that at Vuitton Eagle? Anyway, everybody shoud go check out the janitor's Instagram. He has a picture of "YOU AIN’T GOT THE ANSWERS, SWAY!” written on the wall in Kim Kardashian's blood.
Here's Kim Kardashian pushing Baby Yeezus in a stroller in Manhattan yesterday. I tried to find someone that looked more confused pushing something, but I couldn't find a picture of a caveman trying to push the iOS7 update.
Less than a week after he left Nike for Adidas because Nike refused to tithe, Kanye West let the voices in his head instruct him to tell people to boycott Louis Vuitton because the head of the company, Yves Carcelle, has been revealed to be Donda's real killer. Hahaha no I meant Carcelle didn't drop everything he was doing to meet Kanye in Paris even though every time you see Kanye in the airport, at least 20 Loius. TMZ reports:
Kanye West just ordered all of New York City to stop buying Louis Vuitton … STAT! Kanye was on 92.3 NOW radio station moments ago when he handed down the edict, saying, "Everybody in New York City right now, don't buy any Louis Vuitton until after January." Kanye says he's trying to make a point to the head of Louis Vuitton, Yves Carcelle, who refused to meet with the rapper the last time he was in Paris. Kanye's point … Yeezy's got power and influence … and he's using it to teach Frenchie a lesson. FYI, Kanye's been on an anti-fashion crusade recently, claiming the world's top designers have essentially blackballed him from the industry because he's a black rapper.
Just to make sure we all fully understand what's happening here, Kanye threw a hissy fit and left Nike over 5% to go to Adidas (kids love Adidas!) and now he wants people not buy Louis Vuitton because some dude wouldn't meet him for drinks. If you want to pick up this flag and charge with Kanye, feel free, but I sincerely hope you get shot by a cannon and buried in a mass grave. Because I hate to be the one to point this out, but Kanye is psychotic. If you have to constantly have to refer yourself as a genius, here's the thing: you're not. Although he's more than welcome to call himself "God", because he seems to have the complete meltdown and holding a grudge thing pretty much figured out. Also, Kim looks like she might have a burning bush. Right now, today, a rapper has his fee fees hurt because the fashion world won't wash his feet with their hair and tears of gratitude. Tupac probably wants to be resurrected just so somebody can shoot him again.
So here's the uncensored video of "Bound 2". All that really means is that it has way more Kanye cursing and way more topless Kim Kardashian and her vacant, lifeless eyes. Man, this video is sexy. Because nothing says hot like a 33-year old chick getting banged on a motorcycle by her baby daddy who she's trying to make her third husband. "Lemme smang it guurl," my penis just said. Haha, whoa! Where did he come from?! You never really know when he's gonna pop up! Such a prankster!
Because he's a true gangsta and genius, Kanye West debuted his music video for "Bound 2" on a show watched by white housewives, The Ellen DeGeneres Show. The video looks like it was shot for $50, but it looks even more cheap because Kanye bangs his favorite accessory on a stationary motorcycle in front of a green screen. Trul groundbreaking stuff here.
Adding to the list of emasculated men who involve themselves with the Kardashians, Kanye West's "surprise proposal" to Kim Kardashian with a 15 carat ring and a rented out stadium, was apparently a surprise to only us.
Kim Kardashian picked out her spectacular 15 carat diamond engagement ring herself — because she knew her baby daddy Kanye West was going to propose, RadarOnline.com has learned. “Kim had picked out her own Lorraine Schwartz engagement ring,” a source close to the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star has revealed. The reality beauty “told Kanye to get the ring from Lorraine Schwartz because she loves the jeweler’s diamonds. She knew the proposal was happening, she just didn’t know when it would happen.” Kim’s second husband, basketball player Kris Humphries, paid between $200,000-$300,000 for the massive Lorraine Schwartz 16.2 carat diamond ring he gave her for their 2011 engagement. Because of the publicity value, Humphries got a huge discount as the ring was estimated to be worth $2 million. But the couple’s marriage collapsed after only 72 days and Humphries recently sold the ring at auction for $749,000. With jeweler Schwartz, the source said, “Kanye got a significant deal on the ring just as Kris did because of all the publicity it will get. Before Kim gave the ultimate seal of approval on the sparkler, Kanye looked at over 20 diamonds. The diamond has no flaws and has more sparkle than Kim’s previous ring.”
This really shouldn't come as a shock to anyone since Kris Jenner doesn't allow any of her stable of Armnenian whores to do anything without approval or cameras present. Or without Ryan Seacreast sacrificing a virgin. Or without me having sex with Kendall Jenner when she turns 18. Wait, what? Whoa, whoa. Slow it down, Todd. Slow it down.
Proving once again that his lyrics are hollow and meaningless, Kanye West is reportedly refusing to ask Kim Kardashian for a prenup even though she's already been married twice for a total of 3 years and 72 days. I'm sure he has nothing to worry about. HollywoodLife reports:
Kanye is so overjoyed that Kim has agreed to be his wife, and the last thing on his mind right now is money. He ‘loves Kim too much’ to even think about asking his beautiful bride-to-be to sign a prenup! Kanye West has been waiting for this moment for so long and he doesn’t want to do anything to ruin his happiness with his new fiance, Kim Kardashian, 33. The Yeezus artist thinks it would be “tacky” and “awkward” to get a prenup — he just wants to celebrate their love instead, a source tells HollywoodLife.com. Read on for all the EXCLUSIVE details! So sweet! Kanye, 36, is really showing how much he loves and trusts Kim by refusing to get a prenup, a source tells HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY. “Kanye’s in love with Kim to the point of infatuation. It’s scary because the love is so powerful, Kanye doesn’t even want to have a prenup,” the source says. “He thinks it’s tacky and he doesn’t want to offend Kim or make anything seem awkward. He loves Kim too much for that to even cross his mind. He thinks of his money and his accomplishments and hers and he wants to share them with her — no strings attached.”
Authorities haven't determined what kind of mind-altering poison Kris Jenner has been soaking Kanye's leather skirts in yet, but if my net worth was $100M, you could pretty much guarantee nobody named "Kardashian" would be even able to smell it. Or look at it through bulletproof glass. It's gonna be pretty sad a few months after the wedding when he's fleeing from paparazzi and his brakes go out then Kim Kardarshian's new perfume is made with brake fluid.
Kanye, if you ain't no punk, you know what to holla. E! News reports:
Kim Kardashiangot the birthday surprise of a lifetime tonight. The E! star is engaged to longtime loveKanye West, the rapper popping the question in front of their friends and family at AT&T Park in San Francisco. Kanye, whose Yeezus Tour touches down in nearby San Jose tomorrow night, rented out the stadium for the occasion.
Kanye will make Kim's third husband three years into her 30s, so let's all congratulate the happy couple on this blessed occassion while we all celebrate the the sanctity of marriage. Coming soon to E!. Check local listings.
Note: Proposed to her on her birthday, Kanye? That doesn't say "genius" to me.