Jessica Biel And Justin Timberlake Have A Restaurant Covered In Human Shit

Ewwwww.

Pop star ​Justin Timberlake’s Italian restaurant Destino was forced out of business by ruptured plumbing that spewed human waste on the walls, the ​former restaurant partners reveal for the first time in a ​new ​lawsuit against their insurance company. The celebrity-friendly ​eatery, which the “Sexy Back” singer opened in 2006 with two partners at First Avenue and 50th Street, was twice flooded with raw sewage, ​according to the ​the Manhattan civil​ suit filed Tuesday….The insurance company rushed Destino to reopen in November 2013, the suit claims, but a few days after re-launching, a pipe fell from the basement ceiling and drenched a recently stocked food area with sewage, which led to a mold infestation. Reports on the eatery closing down had pegged it to mere flooding problems….The insurer denied Destino’s claims, including $275,000 for repair and unspecified business losses.

This restaurant billed itself as “celebrity-friendly”, and one of the regulars was Bill Cosby, so there’s probably some higher force at work here.

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Jessica Biel’s Growing Fetus Has Been Confirmed

Note: Yes, these pictures are of Zooey Deschanel, but they were labeled “Jessica Biel” on WENN. Much like Justin Timberlake, it’s too late to pull out now. We just have to all make the best of it.

 

Hey, remember when we all speculated like Jessica Biel was pregnant? Turns out she really is pregnant! Oh, man! What exciting news this is that people we don’t know are having a baby we will also never know! Fantastic!

Biel’s having a baby! Jessica Biel is pregnant and expecting her first child with Justin Timberlake, multiple sources reveal in the new issue of Us Weekly. “Right now they are just enjoying the news for themselves,” one pal tells Us of the Blunderer actress, 32, and Timberlake, 33, who dated on and off for five years before getting engaged in January 2012. “They just want a happy baby.”

I am so glad that Obama’s radical, Kenyan, Illuminati alien, lizard socialist policies are over, because as soon as Republicans took control of Washington last night, a rich, white couple announced they were having a baby. lol suck it libtards! #america #freedom #tcot #vote #blessed

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Do Not Attempt To Grab Justin Timberlake’s Ass

 

Justin Timberlake took his 20/20 Experience tour to Philly on Tuesday, and since Philly is a shit hole of degenerates and drunks, of course someone would attempt to sexually assault him. You can clearly see Timberlake slap a hand away twice and give the face the hand belongs to a stare down, then he just dances away. Note: Dancing away after an attempted unwarranted sexual advance has not been shown as an effective rape prevention tool. Us here at IDLYITW suggest you contact the authorities immediately if you or someone you know is the victim of a sexual assault. But do not dance to the phone.

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Justin Timberlake Can Basically Do No Wrong

 

Whenever Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon get together its always a good time, so naturally when they performed The History Of Rap 5, they crushed it. Although, they performed a few songs that weren't actually rap songs. Did you notice that? You did? Why do always have to find the negative in everything? What's your problem, man? Gawd.

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Justin Timberlake Has Good Taste
Justin Timberlake Has Good Taste

 

The People's Choice Awards were last night and Justin Timberlake won three, so what better way to celebrate than to go to Taco Bell? Everybody loves Taco Bell. You know, except maybe people who are dead inside.

What do we do after we win 3 PCAs?!?! Easy… Go to Taco Bell!! People's Champ, baby!!

I mean, Taco Bell is fantastic and everything, but I really hope Jessica Biel's ass was Timberlake's fourth meal. Nutritionists say it is part of a well balanced diet.

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Justin Timberlake Is One Of GQ’s Men Of The Year
Justin Timberlake Is One Of GQ’s Men Of The Year

 

Despite the abysmal Runner Runner, which would have made more money if tickets were free, Justin Timberlake has had a pretty kick ass year (speaking of ass, have you seen his wife's ass? GOOD LAWD). You can read his interview here, where he comes across as equally humble and entitled douche. Long story short, it's basically impossible to hate on Timberlake, mostly because he's still doing his thing after having that hairstyle he had in NSYNC. Also, not gonna lie, I'm pretty gay for that suit.

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Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel Dress Alike Now

Since they haven't found a wy for their periods to synch up yet, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are now wearing matching tuxedos to places. Like the premiere of Runner Runner. Now word yet on what color they decided for their toenails.

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Jessica Biel Changed Her Name To Jessica Timberlake

Doing her part to contribute to the evil patriarchy, Jessica Biel has officially changed her name to Jessica Timberlake. Life & Style reports:

Eleven months after marrying Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel has officially taken her man's last name. "It's all official!" a source tells Life & Style. "The paperwork is done and she's now legally Jessica Timberlake."

She'll still be known as Jessica Biel professionally, so this is strictly a proactive move for the eventual divorce proceedings when she states "irreconcilable differences". The only difference after the divorce being is that she'll have a lot more money and an extra check every month. How long must the patriachy grind its boot heel into the faces of our women? How long must we sit back and watch this happen? Diamond engagement rings are an archaic and oppressive symbol of a man's ownership of a woman started by a jewelry company who have the blood of millions of African children on their hands. We should ban them forever to show women that we truly see them as our equal haha lol you bitches got nervous there for a second. Love you!

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The Other Dudes In NSYNC Are Mad At Justin Timberlake
The Other Dudes In NSYNC Are Mad At Justin Timberlake

 

I don't know where the apostrophe is supposed to go in the name, but the other dudes in NSYNC (Google them) are reportedly mad at Justin Timberlake because their reunion performance at the MTV VMAs only lasted two minutes. Chris Kirkpatrick got somebody to cover his shift at Applebees and everything. I guess Justin wasn't in synch with that plan. BOOM NAILED IT.  Us Weekly reports:

….Timberlake's brothers in song Joey Fatone, Lance Bass, Chris Kirkpatrick and JC Chasez were initially "upset" that Timberlake nixed earlier plans to include more 'N Sync songs for the VMA show, a source tells Us Weekly.  "They were pushing for more," the source says. "While he was thrilled they could come for him, he didn't want the reunion to be the whole thing. They originally were told that it was going to be more of their old hits, not just Bye Bye Bye — but then Justin reworked it." "The guys wished it could have been more songs," continues the insider. "He told them to trust him, he was going to make it great." (During the show-stopping segment, Timberlake sang snippets of his solo hits "Take Back the Night," "Sexy Back," "My Love," "Cry Me a River," "Señorita," "What Goes Around Comes Around" and "Rock Your Body" before his bandmates joined him for a few bars of "Gone" and "Girlfriend" before rocking out to "Bye, Bye, Bye." After about two minutes, Fatone, Bass, Kirkpatrick and Chasez departed the stage, and Timberlake sang one final song.

Whatever, it sucked. Wouldn't have mattered if it was thirty minutes. It would have been Justin Timberlake and four unattractive backups dancers. The only good to come of this is that One Direction got a front your seat to their enevitable future except their future looks like an empty stage and a stop at Radio Shack to pick up some microphones because the Indiana State Farm doesn't have enough in the budget.

 

Justin, I don't understand just why we can't sing longer. Also, loan me $50.

 

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Ryan Gosling Played Spin The Bottle With Britney Spears When They Were Kids

Back in 1993, everybody you know were cast members on The Mickey Mouse Club: Ryan Gosling, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Keri Russell, a black kid. We the exception of the black kid and possibly Keri Russell, each one of them has gone on to international superstardom, while Ryan Gosling being the only one who will have legitimate staying power. (Nobody wants to see Justin Timberlake perform "Rock Your Body" when he's 60. C'mom now ). Anyway, Gosling and Spears used to hook up. This is the point here.  Us Weekly reports:

"Britney was a sweetheart," the hunky Place Beyond the Pines actor said in a recent interview with the UK's The Sunday Times magazine. "She lived right above me, the girl next door. The little girl I used to play basketball and spin the bottle with." Gosling, 32, added that he hasn't really kept in touch with his fellow Mickey Mouse Club costars, however. "I mean, sometimes you are at the same event, but it's a lot like I imagine what it's like to run into someone from elementary school," he said of keeping tabs on his former gang of childhood stars-to-be.

So Britney Spears banged Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake but married Kevin Federline. I don't even have a vagina and that doesn't make any sense to me.

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