Selena Gomez And Justin Bieber Are Having Issues, Mostly Selena
Selena Gomez And Justin Bieber Are Having Issues, Mostly Selena

 

Stop me if you’ve heard this before, Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are having relationship problems. Hard to believe. Life & Style (Hollywood Life): 

“Selena and Justin have been arguing nonstop,” a source told Life & Style. “Their closest friends are saying they’re on the verge of breaking up.” Yikes! According to the report, the issue lies with Selena being unable to “get over her jealousy issues” claiming that she “was even bitter about Justin going away with his mom while she was working in NYC.” Earlier this month, Justin and his mom took a trip to the Maldives together. During the trip, “Selena was constantly calling Justin during his trip, and he reached a boiling point and put his phone on silent,” the source added.  “Justin’s become tired of Selena’s issues… He still cares about her, but he’s had enough of her overbearing behavior. He’s at his wit’s end.”

Despite going to Bible study together with Jesus, and Selena cutting off her mother and family, it looks like their love is dead. Or not.Maybe she’s blaming him for Despacito not winning anything at the Grammys and that can be easily worked out. They’ll probably be breaking up and getting back together until Selena finally gets dickmatized by someone else or figures out how to love herself. Like, she has Lupus and a donated kidney, so she better figure out something soon.

 

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Selena Gomez Is Calling Justin Bieber “My Husband” Now
Selena Gomez Is Calling Justin Bieber “My Husband” Now

 

Not my husband, her husband, in case you were confused. But yeah, Selena Gomez spent New Year’s Eve in Cabo San Lucas and Justin Bieber was there, because that’s what Jesus would do. Party in Cabo San Lucas and repeatedly bang a chick he wasn’t married to. But it’s fine. Everything is fine is fine. God is totally cool with it.

“She’s started calling him ‘my husband,’” the source tells HollywoodLife.com“so it’s pretty clear she’s taking this relationship very seriously.”

All of Selena’s family, friends, and anyone who gives a shit about her hates Justin Bieber, but God has a plan and she’s leaving it in his hands.

Despite this disapproval, Selena “Not backing down when it comes to Justin,” a source close to Selena EXCLUSIVELY told HollywoodLife.com. “She adores him and swears this is the right thing for her. He’s changed and she knows that in time everyone will see that for themselves.”

I’m pretty sure this will turn out well. When he dumps her, she can take comfort that he will return in three days as foretold in the Bible.

 

 

banner pic = Instagram

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Selena Gomez’s Mom Went To The Hospital Because Selena Is Dating Justin Bieber
Selena Gomez’s Mom Went To The Hospital Because Selena Is Dating Justin Bieber

 

Selena Gomez is dating Justin Bieber again and it literally drove her mom crazy. Per TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell us police went to an L.A. area hotel last week to do a welfare check on Selena’s mom, Mandy Teefey, at a family member’s request. We’re told she was taken to a nearby hospital to get checked out, but not under a 5150 hold — instead, she was voluntarily transported for treatment.  Sources with direct knowledge of the incident tell us Mandy had a heated convo with Selena that day about the reunion with Justin. When Selena revealed she and JB were in couples therapy, Mandy flipped … realizing the relationship was going to be more long-term than she thought.  As we’ve reported … Justin is a huge trigger for Selena’s family, some of whom say they’ll never forgive him or accept him for what they think he did to her years ago. As for Selena … we’re told Mandy’s giving her space to figure out what she wants — but the fam still doesn’t want to be around the Biebs if Selena decides to stick with him.

We all thought she was free of Bieber, but the dickmatization of Selena Gomez continues. Either Bieber makes her sheets look like Pompeii in 79AD or he bought her that kidney. Probably the Pompeii thing. You know how chicks are when it comes to that. Sometimes vaginas have learning disabilities.

 

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A Middle-Aged Woman Got Arrested For Trespassing At Justin Bieber’s House
A Middle-Aged Woman Got Arrested For Trespassing At Justin Bieber’s House

 

Social media tells us that when a woman shows up or wants to speak that men should just shut the hell up and listen. Justin Bieber is obviously sexist because he had this woman arrested instead of listening. This is VERY problematic and just another day in the patriarchy smh.

A Justin Bieber fan was arrested at the singer’s Beverly Hills home Monday after cops say she wandered onto the property looking for the singer … for the third time this week. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ cops got a call to the home around 7:30 PM … we’re told Justin’s security detained the woman until officers arrived. Our sources say the woman — in her 40’s — showed up at the home two other times in the last week and was warned by security to stay away. We’re told she made it on the property but did not make it inside the home. Justin was home during the incident, but did not make contact with the woman. She was booked for trespassing.

Jesus Christ.  A woman can’t even walk on your property unannounced whenever she chooses? Bieber’s house is basically The Handmaid’s Tale. I support all women who want to plan a march.

 

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Marilyn Manson Called Justin Bieber A “Piece Of Shit”
Marilyn Manson Called Justin Bieber A “Piece Of Shit”

 

Justin Bieber is a douche and Marilyn Manson has an album to promote, so it’s time to rehash some stuff from last year to show once again that Bieber is a douche while simultaneously getting Manson’s name back in the news. SEE HOW THIS WORKS, KIDS?! Here’s your setup:

Last summer, a repurposed Manson t-shirt featuring the phrase “Bigger Than Satan … Bieber” was sold for $195 at luxury retailer Barneys. At the time, the t-shirt’s designer, Fear of God, was adamant that Manson had given him and Bieber permission to “reinterpret” the original image. However, in a forthcoming interview with Consequence of Sound, Manson offers a different account. Manson says that when he first met Bieber “he was [already] wearing the shirt that had his name on my shirt, and he said to me, ‘I made you relevant again.’” “Bad mistake to say to me,” Manson adds.

Here’s your payoff:

Manson says he eventually “took all the proceeds from those shirts from him. They didn’t even fight, they were just like, ‘yea, we already know, we did wrong, so here’s the money.’ “He was a real piece of shit in the way he had the arrogance to say that,” Manson says of Bieber. “He was a real touchy-feely guy, too, like, ‘yo yo bro!’ and touches you when he’s talking. I’m like, you need to stand down, you’re dick height on me, ok? (laughs) Alright? So stand down, son.

Bieber’s pastor will probably quote him a scripture about how Jesus was also persecuted then ask for a donation, but I’m only posting this story so I can put up the only Marilyn Manson pics that matter. Enjoy.

 

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Mayweather And Justin Bieber Broke Up
Mayweather And Justin Bieber Broke Up

 

Justin Bieber and Floyd Mayweather, Jr. was one of the greatest romances of this decade, but Bieber is in a relationship with Jesus now, and Jesus doesn’t like when you’re spending money on strip clubs when you can be throwing money at him. Apparently, the people at Hillsong Church have been “counseling” Bieber, which is church talk for “separating you from your friends and family”. Mayweather hasn’t taken it well. Type “amen”.

We’re told church pastors did not single out Floyd as a bad influence, but Justin decided on his own he needed some distance. Our sources say Justin didn’t want a clean break from Floyd, he just wanted to “reset boundaries” … walling himself off from things like Floyd’s obsession with strip clubs. Justin unfollowed Floyd on Instagram as part of the resetting of boundaries, and our sources say Floyd went “insane, nuclear.” He lashed out at Justin, called him a “traitor” because Floyd had stuck with Justin during his meltdown when everyone was attacking Bieber. Sources connected with Floyd say the boxer continues to be incensed at Justin … screaming incensed.

So, two things can happen here. They makeup, or Mayweather looks at Conor McGregor and see’s Bieber’s face then McGregor has to eat through a straw from the rest of his life and becomes a famous artist who paints with his left foot.  In the last instance, people can legitimately say Jesus was responsible.

 

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Justin Bieber Ran Over A Dude Outside A Church With His Monster Truck
Justin Bieber Ran Over A Dude Outside A Church With His Monster Truck

 

Justin Bieber has once again returned to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ, so he went to church in Beverly Hills last night. When he left, the sea did not part and he ran over a photographer.

Justin was leaving the Saban Theater, where he’d been worshipping at a City Church event. He climbed into his monster pickup truck as photogs scrambled around the vehicle, and when he gunned it to pull away … hit the man. It’s pretty clear in the video … Justin’s front right side tire hits, or rolls over, the paparazzo.

But do not despair. Justin laid hands upon the man and he was saved (by medical professionals when they arrived).

Justin did not flee the scene and, in fact, stopped as soon as other photogs pointed out what had happened. Bieber stayed right by the man’s side for roughly 8 to 10 minutes until paramedics and police arrived.

It should be obvious to anyone that the power of Christ was flowing through Justin last night. He did not choose to become a vessel for the Lord, the Lord chose him to run over a non-believer in order to preach to him or whatever dumbass reason people believe their imaginary friend made something happen but really didn’t. If this offends you, I am deeply sorry. Please type “amen” in the comments to receive a full refund of your subscription fee.

 

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Justin Bieber Is Very Graceful

Justin Bieber went on a hike yesterday in Los Angeles. These are pictures of him falling and busting his ass. This is the second time this has happened this year. Why you gotta tease us like that, 2016? We know what you’re capable of, dude. Step your damn game up. Look at all those rocks in these pictures. You can’t give us one subdural hematoma? Fuck you, buddy.

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Justin Bieber Punched A Fan In The Face
Justin Bieber Punched A Fan In The Face

 

Spain is one of the countries that Justin Bieber is still allowed to enter, so he was in Barcelona when some dude touched Justin Bieber. Just not the way he envisioned it on his vision board.

The Biebs was in Barcelona, driving to perform Tuesday night, when a guy ran up to the car and stuck his hand in the window to touch him. Bieber responded with a quick jab to the face. The guy ended up a bloody mess as he and his friends reacted in shock.

I give Bieber a lot of shit, because everyone should and its fun, but I’m not entirely sure why Barcelona dude’s friends “reacted in shock”. Bieber ain’t the Pope. You can try to touch him, but you won’t get blessed. If we really wanted to shock his friends, we’d tell them that Alexander Hamilton hated illegal immigrants and wanted to put protestors on prison.

 

Here’s  Selena Gomez again for obvious reasons:

 

 

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DO NOT SCREAM AT A JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT WHEN HE’S SPEAKING
DO NOT SCREAM AT A JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT WHEN HE’S SPEAKING


“Hands up, please shoot. W” – black guys in the back


Justin Bieber had a concert in Birmingham, England concert on Monday night, and asked his fans to stop screaming because “I don’t feel like I’m being heard sometimes”. Jesus fucking Christ, dude.

“I get it, it’s been in our blood and it’s ingrained — you go to a concert and you scream and stuff,” he said. “But if you could just scream after the song, enjoy the song, and then take a chill pill for a second and listen to me speak. I don’t feel like I’m being heard sometimes, and it gets a little frustrating. When I’m speaking, can you guys not scream at the top of your lungs?”

PSA: They didn’t pay to hear you talk.

After the yells had died down a bit, Bieber then told the crowd about how he’s had a hard time being away from his friends and family while on the road.

PSA: They didn’t pay to be part of your therapy session.

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