Katie Price is Different



Katie Price had about a billionty surgeries on her tits, most recently a reduction, but hey, why stop there? The Sun reports:

Jordan has ventured out in LA for the first time since her boob reduction op last week. The glamour girl wore a baggy top to disguise the work she’s undergone, but failed to hide her noticeably fatter lips. Still, she evidently wasn’t feeling too much discomfort from the surgical procedure as she wandered around carrying countless bags of purchases from Fred Segal.”

Please, whore. Just stop. Please. Stop. Your doctor has made you look like I should be at a pond feeding you bread. I can’t help but think that wasn’t the look you were going for. Seriously, I’ve seen more realistic looking faces on that cartoon about the magical Mexican dragons.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Katie Price is Not a Writer



You might want to sit down for this, but you know those eight books Katie Price has published since 2004? Yeah, turns out she didn’t write them. Gasp! The Daily Mail reports:

Far from writing her own novels, Miss Price – better known as Jordan – instead reveals she merely thinks up the plot – leaving the complex task of conjuring up the golden prose to an assistant. “I’m not going to lie, I don’t sit there with a typewriter and write it, of course I don’t,” she said. “I don’t have time to do that. I say how I want the storyline to be, each chapter is done, I read through it change it and then it goes away to be written. “So I’m not going to sit here and say I write it word by word because I’d be lying. I actually say how I want the story and that’s how it happens.”

That was unexpected, because the first thing I think of when somebody says “best-selling author” is a vapid whore with gigantic mutilated tits and a sex tape. Or Charles Dickens’ centerfold in Playgirl.

Katie Price at her latest book signing on July 17th:

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Katie Price Has Scars



When I’m volunteering at local area summer camps, children often come up and ask me to tell them stories about the old days. “Did Katie Price used to be hot?” they have been known to ask. “Yes,” I explain as I place the key into great book and turn it’s dusty pages, “This is her in 2002. From our last lesson, you might also remember that breath strips and the virtual keyboard were invented in that same year.” What can I say? I’m a teacher first, but now, my soul is troubled. What will I tell the children about these pictures of Katie Price out partying in London a couple nights ago and showing off her sliced up tits? How will they deal with their pain and disappointment? Who will speak for them? Curse you, Katie Price!

Photos: Splash

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Katie “Jordan” Price is Perfect



People complain about fake tits all the time. Katie Price’s mangled, been fed through the wood chipper tits have been stabbed and sliced more than O.J. Simpson’s victims and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

Click for the NSFW scarred darkness:

Bonus: When I think of dark nipples, I think Al B. Sure! nn-gurrll…

Related Posts:

Tags: , , ,
Jordan Slips a Nipple



You probably can’t tell, but Jordan (Katie Price) is at a book signing. A book that she wrote. Her seventh. A book with pages filled with words. And this is what she wore. This. Many theorists believe that this is why Jane Austen didn’t sell that many books. “Her boobs weren’t that big. They weren’t big at all.” a man from 1815 was quoted as saying.

NSFW, obviously:

Related Posts:

Tags: , , ,