Dear god today is boring so here's Johnny Depp and Rihanna as wax statues because apparently that's still a thing that people do. Johnny Depp is probably going to break in and put a scarf on his and Rihanna will probably be so high that she thinks she's cloned.
Carrie Fisher A.K.A – Princess Leia See Through on Stage (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Amanda Bynes Had Her Implants Removed [The Superficial]
Stacy Keibler Gets Seriously Leggy For NewBeauty [Popoholic]
Elsa Hosk Forgot Her Bikini [Hollywood Tuna]
QVC May Drop Paula Deen’s Ass Too [Dlisted]
"She was so fit and of course ran off with another bloke!" [MyEx]
Bar Refaeli does Instagram in a bikini (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Anna Kendrick shoots The Last Five Years [Lainey Gossip]
Some freak gifted Justin Bieber another pet monkey & he’s lost it already [Celebitchy]
Maria Menounos Bikini Pics From Her Vacation in Greece [Moe Jackson]
Pixar now has 14 number one movies in a row [Film Drunk]
Reese Witherspoon showing some leg [Celebslam]
Someone put Jonah Hill’s mouth on Jennifer Lawrence’s body [COED Magazine]
Don’t Worry James Gandolfini, John Travolta’s Got This [The Blemish]
Seth MacFarlane to voice Fry’s dog Seymour on ‘Futurama’ [Popbytes]
If Disney can make Pocahontas a heartwarming story about love against all odds instead of child rape and tuberculosis, then I really can’t wait to see The Lone Ranger. At least they used an American Indian as Tonto instead of a Canadian Indian. The Canadian Indians didn’t die because they had socialized medicine. Pussies.
Amber Heard was a lesbian last year, then she co-starred with Johnny Depp in The Rum Diaries. She is no longer a lesbian. E! Online reports:
At this point, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are just two extremely pretty people who appeared to be enjoying each other’s company out in Hollywood this week. The Rum Diary costars spent a couple of “flirtatious but not overly touchy-feely” hours at AV Nightclub on Monday evening, a rep for the club tells E! News. Neither actor’s rep returned requests for comment on whether the tête-à-tête indicates that the two are more than friends, as was rumored earlier this year following Depp’s split from longtime partner Vanessa Paradis. The AV rep tells us that staffers blocked off the entire outdoor patio for the famous pair, who had brought their own security with them.
Johnny Depp spent over a fourth of his life with Vanessa Paradis, so he should be allowed to fuck Amber Heard in the middle of traffic if he wants. Because have you ever seen Vanessa Paradis? Amber Heard couldn’t look that bad if she was possessed by the devil and had the flu at the same time.
Earlier this week it was announced that Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis split after 14 years together. You’d think the reason would have been Depp finally realizing he was dating Vanessa Paradis, but turns out she’s just a dead lay now. Radar Online reports:
“Johnny didn’t want to be with Vanessa anymore. They had grown so far apart, and he wanted to be free and try new things,” a source close to the former couple tells RadarOnline.com. “He was bored senseless with her, being with Vanessa was making him miserable. “The spark had gone, and there was nothing left. Johnny just wants more from life and believes Vanessa deserves to be happier too. He’s not embroiled in some hot and heavy new romance and he has no plans to jump straight into something straight away, but he is keen to have some fun again. “Johnny was not handling keeping their split secret too well, it was difficult for him to carry on a farce, so now that it is out in the public he is feeling a lot happier about the situation.” “Johnny has wanted this relationship to end since last year,” the source says. “He has tried to get out of this for a long time.”
I know saying that Paradis is a “French model with a unique look” is just a nice way of saying she’s horrifically unattractive. She looks like the government let Sean Connery out of prison because she’s trying to take over Fraggle Rock. Plus, Depp is Native American. It’s our job to bang as many white women as possible. That’s basically our reparations. And casinos. And free college tuition. Oh, and $20K to put down on a new house. And no sin tax. And no body hair. I fee like I’m missing some.
I’ve sat on this for a while despite all the emails and texts I’ve received over the first image as Johnny Depp as Tonto in the Lone Ranger. I guess I’m supposed to be offended. Look, I’m part Native American but I’m allergic to horses and I’m not really good with directions and it took me an hour one to time to set up a tent. I also have no idea how to paint with wind. I don’t know, I guess I don’t know if Johnny Depp wearing a dead bird on his head is historically accurate or not and I really don’t care. Johnny Depp is in a movie with a dead bird on his head. Let’s all just enjoy that.
Paul McCartney is proof that as long as you put in a few years with a popular boy band, you can then spend the next four decades making average-to-terrible music and still have enough clout in the entertainment industry to get A-list actors like Johnny Depp and Natalie Portman to star in your latest music video. Then you can have a big premiere of that video where half of Hollywood turns out. But I do have to give the cute Beatle some credit, he managed to get Miranda Kerr to change out of workout clothes for the first time in weeks. So thanks for that, Paul.
Vanessa Paradis finally denied the rumors of her split with Johnny Depp. E! Online reports:
Making the publicity rounds for her new movie, Café de Flore, Paradis offered a clear statement to French television program Grand Journal on the subject after giving a vague response to the U.K.’s Daily Mail. “Yes it’s false! Of course it’s false!” the 39-year-old singer-actress said when pressed about reports she had split with Depp, 48. Paradis added that such rumors “can truly harm my family.” “When someone reports that we buy a house, they say we have 52 houses around France,” she told the show. “We separate in winter and we get married again in summer… I’m at this point at my 12th pregnancy.” According to Paradis, what she really takes issue with is when reporters write hurtful things that end up affecting their two kids, 11-year-old Lily and 9-year-old Jack.
It’s pretty safe to say they’re never splitting up, but not because he can’t do better. If you manage to land Johnny Depp when you look like Gollum with a weave and Michael Strahan’s orthodontist, there’s a 97.6% chance necromancy is involved.
Because his bodyguards beat up a handicapped lady. God, those handicapped people with all their rolling around and not using proper hand signals. TMZ reports:
The LAPD has some questions for Johnny Depp — and now, they’re trying to track the actor down for an interview …. after his bodyguards allegedly beat up a disabled woman last week. TMZ broke the story … 52-year-old Robyn Ecker filed a police report after the Iggy Pop show in L.A. Thursday night — claiming she was minding her own business when she accidentally danced too close to Depp’s table … and his bodyguards tackled her. Robyn claims she was seriously injured during the alleged attack — and even went to the hospital to get herself checked out. Law enforcement sources tell us, the LAPD would like to speak to Johnny and his bodyguards about the police report — and are currently making attempts to interview all of them. So far, no word from Johnny’s rep.
We give Johnny Depp a lot of love on this site, but he’s said some pretty dumb shit recently and now apparently his bodyguards think they’re in some wheelchair athlete intramural rugby league. Not to be an asshole, but the article said she was disabled then immediately followed up with “she was minding her own business when she accidentally danced too close to Depp’s table.” I’ve never seen a disabled person dance, but I assume Johnny Depp’s bodyguards thought she might have been possessed by a demon. Honest mistake.
UPDATE: This was just sent in by a reader. Thanks, Cesar! Even though you drowned that puppy that one time.
I actually witnessed this happen in front of me at the show. That woman is full of shit. She was WASTED like no tomorrow and made her way to were Depp was and mind you he had his kids and girlfriend with him. She grabbed him by the back of his pants, pulling him and the bodyguard grabbed her, but she just would not let go and got really angry, spilling everyone’s drink and went as far as scaring the living hell out of his kid, making her cry. She was being pulled away and started fighting back, which resulted in the venues security to get involved and she was STILL being all violent. They got her taken away and Depp and everyone with him left the place. About 10 minutes later, the same woman went back to the place were everything happened, looking for him and same shit happened again but this time she got kicked out. The end.
Johnny Depp has every excuse in the world to be a self-absorbed asshole who thinks people should be shot in the face if they look him directly in the eye, but as a million examples prove, he’s quite possibly the most down-to-earth and evolved person in Hollywood. Daily Star reports:
Hollywood big-shot Johnny, who is currently shooting his new film Dark Shadows on our shores, left a £700 tip for waitresses and bar staff at a pub in Berkshire. We’re told: “Johnny is staying at the five-star country manor house estate Coworth Park in Ascot. “Instead of choosing from the four hotel restaurants, including one which is Michelin-starred, he decided to hang out at a nearby pub with the locals. “Johnny chose to have dinner and drinks in the Thatched Tavern pub a mile-and-a-half up the road from his hotel. “On the first night he left a £300 tip for pub staff, followed by £400 the night after.”
If this Yahoo! Finance currency converter is correct, Depp went to a pub for two nights and left $1,144.00 in tips. When asked for comment, Lindsay Lohan said, “They hiring? I mean, a thousand dollars, that’s like what? A million crack rocks?”.