Winona Ryder Says Johnny Depp Never Abused Her, People Don’t Like That
Winona Ryder Says Johnny Depp Never Abused Her, People Don’t Like That


When Amber Heard accused Johnny Depp of domestic violence, all of Depp’s exes came out and were like,”Wait, Johnny? Johnny Johnny?”.  Everyone except Winona Ryder. That meant people found Ryder quotes from 25 years ago that, depending on which lens you happened to be looking through, totally meant Johnny Depp beat her. Ryder tells Time he didn’t.

I can only speak from my own experience, which was wildly different than what is being said. I mean, he was never, never that way towards me. Never abusive at all towards me. I only know him as a really good, loving, caring guy who is very, very protective of the people that he loves. It’s hard because I feel like—that’s my experience. And it’s been a very long time.

And since Winona Ryder deftly understands the hashtag world in which we now all live, attempted to make this an unproblematic as possible by saying her experience in no way represents Amber Heard’s. 

I don’t know how you feel about it, but it’s like anybody who says anything about it is a victim-blamer. I wasn’t there. I don’t know what happened. I’m not calling anyone a liar. I’m just saying, it’s difficult and upsetting for me to wrap my head around it. Look, it was a long time ago, but we were together for four years, and it was a big relationship for me. And we have a lot of mutual friends. I just never heard anything like that about him.

And she felt the need to reiterate that point. 

But, again, I feel like even saying that, I’m going to get death threats or something. I’m not on social media, so maybe I will be spared.

Nope. Not spared. Winona Ryder is just “another Johnny Depp ally”. We’re also told that Ryder’s experiences “aren’t relevant“. And we were also told that this was relevant.  You can see how this can get confusing when we’re being told that this is indeed relevant. Either none of it is relevant or all of it is. Either Johnny Depp physically and mentally abused Amber Heard or he didn’t. Either Amber Heard is a manipulative gold digger or she’s not. Either I finish this post now or I don’t. I guess the only way we can stop talking about this is when Johnny Depp and Amber Heard talk under oath, which neither of them apparently seem to have any interest in doing. At this point, maybe Amber Heard should just put out an album then marry Chris Brown then put out another album. Then marry Comcast and put out another one. I would say then marry Harambe, but he’s dead. #RIP


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Johnny Depp Won’t Say Shit
Johnny Depp Won’t Say Shit


Yay. Here’s more Johnny Depp and Amber Heard shit. Anyway, the restraining order trial is set for Friday. Johnny Depp won’t be saying much. 

Johnny Depp will NEVER testify Friday in the restraining order trial … he’ll take the 5th because he’s afraid he’ll say something that could get him prosecuted for domestic violence — that’s the take of the sources connected to Amber Heard’s case, but it may be a little unfair. Amber’s team believes they have the restraining order in the bank. Their thinking goes this way … Amber’s eager to testify, and if Johnny is mum, the judge has no choice but to grant the restraining order. Fact is … Amber triggered a police investigation, and it’s common practice for someone who’s in Johnny’s position to take the 5th in a civil case … even if there’s hard proof he’s innocent.

Christ, still with this fucking shit. Amber is “eager to testify” and has time to sent pics to People, but can’t sit down for a deposition because she had to go to an engagement party and a costume fitting. In a shocking twist, she won’t be back until the night before the trial. We’ve seen all her evidence, but for some reason, it just can’t make its way into courtroom. Weird. And the “homophobic” cop who arrested her in 2009 for domestic violence turned out to be an openly gay woman. Then she recently turned down $50K (her original request), because it included Johnny Depp’s request for his own restraining order against her. Which I assume he wants in place to ensure she doesn’t “accidentally” show up at a restaurant he’s at and accuse him of breaking her restraining order. We’ll probably find out when she sells the story to People. And she’s still living in the penthouse she was allegedly beat up in. I don’t get it.  WHY THE FUCK WON’T THIS END I NEED THIS TO END. 

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Amber Heard Is Pregnant
Amber Heard Is Pregnant


PLOT TWIST: $50K isn’t gonna cut it anymore, Johnny. Amber Heard is pregnant.

“One minute they were supposedly in love, and the next they’re practically at war,” an insider revealed to Star magazine. “It’d be a terrible situation to bring a baby into.” “Amber would definitely fight tooth and nail to get full custody — and she’d be able to use the child to grab even more money in the divorce settlement. Johnny can expect things to get a whole lot worse.” “Given all he’s put her through, she’s gunning for half of his $400 million fortune. She believes she should be heavily compensated for her pain and even more so with a baby on board.”

Whew. That was a fun read, huh? Lots of twists and turns and a lot of stuff about money. I realize this is from Star and they talked to “an insider”, but we’ve been believing those to this point, so maybe this insider just wanted to talk to Star. Let’s not judge. The lobby at People is probably full anyway.


 “God? It’s me. Amber.”

“Fuck scarves get money”



(h/t Hollywood Life)

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Johnny Depp Was A Drunk Asshole Outside A Denmark Bar Last Night
Johnny Depp Was A Drunk Asshole Outside A Denmark Bar Last Night


Apparently we’ve been giving Johnny Depp‘s PR team too much credit, because when your client is allegedly a violent, drunk asshole, it helps when he’s not photographed being a violent, drunk asshole. Like he was at a concert after-party in Denmark last night. 

The star, 52, allegedly had a tense moment with a bodyguard who was trying to persuade him to go back inside the hotel bar at around 2.30am at the concert after-party in Denmark. But Depp seemed more interested in ‘drinking and smoking a lot’ with the blonde woman, according to observers. ‘Johnny was in a party mood that’s for sure,’ said one observer.

Now, the headline of this Daily Mail article implies Depp and his bodyguard got into “a row”. I thought “a row” and “a fight” meant the same thing. Maybe not.

‘His bodyguard had his hand on his shoulder and was trying to get him to go back inside, but Johnny refused to go.’….’More and more fans came up to him and he wanted to talk to all of them and take selfies with them. ‘And the bodyguard got more and more persistent but Johnny didn’t want to go. He was in a mood to celebrate for sure. ‘And he definitely drank his fair share of alcohol.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that was a row/fight, but I’d definitely say that Johnny Depp is a violent, unhinged drunk, who likes to show people close to him who’s boss when he’s a few champagne bottles deep. Coincidentally, exactly the way Amber Heard described him. You could even make the case that she only mentioned the drug and alcohol problem to give Depp a second chance to avoid media scrutiny by taking his drunk ass to rehab before shit got real. It’s so real right now, that Amber Heard has given E! screenshots of 2014 texts messages from Depp’s supposed assistant, Stephen Deuters. Fair warning, he wasn’t texting Amber to apologize for the all the times Johnny pissed on the toilet seat. He was apologizing for all the times Depp beat her like she was a stray dog. Should I have immediately believed her? Maybe. I also immediately believed this when it happened. I also once believed that Noah fit two of every species on a boat. A wood boat. Are with you fucking with me, grandma? Live and learn, my friends. 

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Amber Heard Says The LAPD Is Lying To Protect Johnny Depp Now
Amber Heard Says The LAPD Is Lying To Protect Johnny Depp Now


Now its highly likely that Johnny Depp‘s children, ex-wives, past girlfriends, friends, co-workers, lawyers, PR team, female fans, male fans (who are also fans of domestic violence), and the media, are all in a secret, coordinated plot to frame Amber Heard as a manipulative and opportunistic gold digger with the power of “he beat me” behind her. Anything is possible in this world. I just read about a $15K LEGO statue. The tragedy was that LEGO must have forgotten what kids do when they see toys. And the Harambe hashtag people didn’t seem to understand that there’s a lot of shit that happens when a parent turns their head for five minutes. I needed to get that out. Now back to this level of hell. The LAPD have now entered into the secret plot. 

Amber Heard is calling BS on the LAPD, claiming Johnny Depp has the department in his hip pocket. Sources close to Amber say Johnny has a relationship with LAPD cops … they say some have worked off-duty in his security detail.  We’re told Amber is adamant … she had obvious facial injuries when cops responded to the 911 call on May 21, and there is no reason for them to deny it other than to protect Johnny.

This really wouldn’t take much convincing for me, but “sources close to Amber”.  Not much you can do with that unless your narrative forces you to trust “sources close to Amber”. If it does, I’m glad we’re all able recognize our biases. Maybe we can all watch Game 1 together.  

Amber says a witness was present when cops responded. Her name is Raquel Rose Pennington, and Amber says Raquel examined her face which she says had “a significant injury with redness and swelling.”

Raquel Rose is Amber Heard’s best friend. She came out of a four-hour meeting with Heard’s lawyer looking like this. I’m not saying that means anything, but if Johnny Depp and his children, ex-wives, past girlfriends, and friends came out of a four meeting with Depp’s lawyer looking like this, what would that seem like to you? It would probably seem the same.

Our Amber sources also note the LAPD has changed its story multiple times … first telling the media they never responded to a 911 call involving Amber and Johnny, then saying there was only one call, and later admitting they received 2 calls and sent 2 different sets of officers to her apartment.

The officers who responded keep telling the same story,  and now Heard says she was in an “adjoining unit” when she placed the 911 call. Maybe tell them to check next door? And when they come back, file a report and make them take pictures of your face since you felt safe next door? All that said, you don’t accuse an entire police department of a cover up without knowing full well what that entails, then not caring. God, this shit makes my fucking brain hurt. If Disney hasn’t sent Heard her weight in gold by this time next week, I swear I’m  just gonna let articles about this print out while I Amazon Prime some tacks and different color string. I need to know, man. 


#tbt Why does it always look like Johnny Depp is trying to secretly signal for help? 


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Amber Heard Is Selling Her Johnny Depp Abuse Pics To Tabloids Now
Amber Heard Is Selling Her Johnny Depp Abuse Pics To Tabloids Now


To be fair, the pure insanity of Amber Heard’s monthly expenses make her a gold digger as much as these pics make Johnny Depp a wife beater, but her legal team’s tactic of “give up the money or else” fucked up fast and is now picking up speed. Because today, People Magazine has Amber Heard domestic violence pics all over their site. Pictures taken by “a friend of Heard’s”. Pictures from a domestic violence call that LAPD said was news to them. Pictures of a woman who didn’t report this in order to “protect her privacy“.  I assume that plan has changed somewhat.


Also, there’s more else. Amber Heard’s friend told Page Six that Johnny Depp tried to kill Heard with a pillow once. 

“I got to her apartment to find her with a cut and bruised lip, a swollen eye and a chunk of hair missing from the top of her head,” the friend recalled. “This incident really stuck with me because she confided in me that day that she feared for her life after an intoxicated Johnny tried to suffocate her with a pillowI have personally witnessed the aftermath of Johnny Depp’s violent and abusive behavior towards her on many occasions,” the confidante said of Heard, 30.

Granted, even if your wife filed for divorce three days after your mom died then hits you up for $10K a month for “entertainment, gifts, and vacation“, she doesn’t deserve to get suffocated in her sleep. We can all agree on that. We can also agree that this friend never saw Johnny Depp. We can also agree that Heard’s lawyers threatened Depp to pay up so their divorce “wouldn’t turn into a media firestorm“. They also said yesterday that Depp’s decision to not open his wallet has made them “‘forced” to speak to police to “set the record straight'”.  One would think the best time to set the record straight during a domestic violence call would be when the cops show up and your abuser isn’t there, but perhaps she was just waiting for the right moment. I think she was allowing people to mourn the loss of Harambe before she replied to People‘s email. Respect.


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Here’s Amber Heard’s Monthly Expenses
Here’s Amber Heard’s Monthly Expenses


Amber Heard filed for divorce from Johnny Depp on May 23rd where she asked for $50k a month, their LA condo, the Range Rover, the two dogs, and $125K in legal fees. Two days later, Heard’s lawyers sent a letter to Johnny Depp explaining that if he didn’t hand over all of this in 48 hours, they’d show up at his job and let this whole thing play out in the media. Depp’s lawyers replied, “nah we’re good“. You know all of the rest. Heard’s lawyers have made a lot of things public except her financials, which were made public yesterday. Let be clear, this won’t help. 

…the 30-year-old actress says her estimated income for May is $5,000 — with her average monthly income at $10,000….and claims her expenses to be $43,700 per month. Some of those monthly costs include $10,000 for rent, $3,000 for health care, $2,000 for groceries and household supplies, another $2,000 for eating out, $2,000 for clothes and $10,000 for “entertainment, gifts, and vacation.” She’s also factored in $10,000 for miscellaneous expenses, including grooming and pet supplies for her dogs and her publicist, agent and attorney fees.

“$2,000 for eating out”. I see what you did there, Amber. Traditional gender roles can be a bitch. And $10K for “pet supplies”? Are those Yorkies fighting crime? You guys just read the same thing I just read, right? You can click on the link if you don’t want to take my word for it, I’ll understand. Because I want to make sure we’re all clear on the math before we read this statement from Heard’s lawyer. 

Amber is a brave and financially independent woman who is showing the courage of her convictions by doing the right thing against Johnny’s relentless army of lawyers and surrogates.” The lawyers concluded their remarks by declaring, “Amber is the victim. Amber is the hero.”

 I’ll have to admit, it did take courage for Amber Heard to survive those 15 months with Johnny Depp despite being $33K in the hole every month. Depp must lose a lot of money in his couch. Another theory is, now hear me out, Heard spent $10K a month before she met Depp, and is now used to spending $43,700 a month (I guess “$50K” is easier to type in a letter). So, yeah. This doesn’t help. Especially when you consider the fact that Heard’s lawyers make every attempt to make you believe that every person who has ever been around Johnny Depp wants his money except Amber.  She’s the only one who doesn’t want his money. She’s only asked a judge twice to give it to her. In conclusion, this ain’t good. Even the people who refuse to say “gold digger”, are now saying Heard is just attempting to “secure her financial future”. Semantics is fun. 


Fifty thousand dolla make you holla:


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Amber Heard’s Lawyer Has Some Words For Doug Stanhope
Amber Heard’s Lawyer Has Some Words For Doug Stanhope




It’d be better if you just go ahead and come to terms with the fact that the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp divorce will be consuming our lives for its entire run, so here’s another post about that. Do you accept the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp divorce into your heart?

Amber Heard denied that she is blackmailing estranged husband Johnny Depp or lying in her claims about domestic abuse, in a letter to TheWrap from her lawyer on Monday. The “allegations against Ms. Heard are absolutely and unequivocally false,” said Peter Sample, a lawyer for Heard. The letter said that the claim of blackmail by Depp’s friend Doug Stanhope “has no basis in reality and is nothing but the typical celebrity muckraking for profit.” Sample demanded a retraction of the article, calling the claim defamatory and “outrageous.”  TheWrap will respond to the letter through its legal counsel.

Specifically calling  Doug Stanhope “Depp’s friend” and low key coming after The Wrap in the same letter, makes me hope Amber Heard has a financial planner who works as hard as the homie Peter here. She should be good to go then I feel.


I’m not a body language expert by any means, but Amber Heard and Cara Delevingne banged just before these or are planning to bang after.


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I Can’t Wrap My Head Around This Johnny Depp And Amber Heard Mess
I Can’t Wrap My Head Around This Johnny Depp And Amber Heard Mess


Much like CNN and missing planes, this Johnny Depp and Amber Heard divorce mess should taste like Cool Ranch manna from heaven for me, but this is some Lay’s Biscuits and Gravy shit. Don’t like it. So I’m gonna throw it up in the form of a timeline and everything we know so far. Or I know so far. You might know more about this than me. Feel free to add any information you feel is relevant. Also, remember when celebrities would get divorced and we didn’t have to hear about it again? That was fun. The Kardashians have four divorces and a separation between them since 2003, but I guess they have to plan seasons out in advance. Let’s get this over with.

(more…)

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Johnny Depp Isn’t Trying To Pay Amber Heard Spousal Support
Johnny Depp Isn’t Trying To Pay Amber Heard Spousal Support


I’ll assume you already know that Amber Heard filed for divorce from Johnny Depp and is asking for a “I was a Depp for 15 months” check going forward. Johnny Depp would rather spend his $400M on earrings and scarves, I’m guessing. 

According to the filing obtained by PEOPLE, Depp has asked the judge to refuse Heard’s demand for spousal support. The 52-year-old actor filed the response through his lawyer, Laura Wasser – one of the most high-powered celebrity divorce attorneys in Hollywood.

Wasser could make the case that her client didn’t get much spousal support from Amber Heard when his mom died, but a source, I mean, her publicist tells People:

Amber did what she had to do to take care of herself,” the Heard source tells PEOPLE. “Before Amber met Johnny she was just a regular super cool hipster chick living with roommates who dated girls,” a source tells PEOPLE. “At their engagement party she kind of got cold feet … she was just like what is this scene and what am I doing here? She kind of couldn’t believe it was her life now.

Sounds like a pretty bad existential crisis there. A crisis that she’ll need money to feel better with now that she’s out of the situation that caused the crisis. Or for all stuff she’s gonna buy at Tiffany & Co. Can’t really say for sure.


How did Lily-Rose Depp get dragged into this? Think of the children.

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