Nicole Richie May Be Overestimating This

Via Page Six:

There was frantic negotiating to land Nicole Richie a $100,000 exclusive magazine deal ahead of her big wedding to Joel Madden today. Reps for Richie — who recently took a photographer to court to protect her and her children’s privacy — were as late as yesterday “playing the weekly magazines against each other to drive up the price,” an insider said. Sources tell us that the reps for Richie, who said she planned to give the money to charity, had agreed to an OK! bid earlier in the week to make her a “cover chip” — a less important story referenced with a small photo on the front page — but then went to People to negotiate a full cover.

Nicole Richie is famous because she’s the daughter of a Commodore with a Jheri curl (more…)

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Nicole Richie Is All Knocked Up Again

Last night, a late-breaking blog post went up on the Good Charlotte website and someone was kind enough to e-mail me, because I don’t often swing by the Good Charlotte website:

What’s better than winning an Oscar? I am so happy to tell everyone that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family. Hope your all feeling as good as i am right now………

Plus one for the timely Oscars reference, and an additional plus 5 for finding the time to slip it to your wife so soon after kid one was born. If these two weren’t working from negative points left over from the emo/anorexic-bitch days, I’d be congratulating them.

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Nicole Richie is Single

It’s hard to imagine that a Hollywood romance could go bad, but it looks like our worst fears have come true. Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have split up. Stay strong, friends. Star Magazine reports:

For months they’d been fighting over everything from marriage to moving, but Nicole and Joel’s strained relationship hit a new low when, during yet another battle, she screamed at him, “We’re through,” and fled to her mother’s home, taking their daughter, Harlow, with her, a friend tells Star. Although Nicole returned the next day, “This was her way of sending Joel a message,” says the pal. “Nicole loves him, but things need to change.” Days after their big blowup, things were no better, so Nicole once again walked out on Joel – jetting to New York City, with Harlow in tow, for Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. She wasn’t alone for long. Joel followed her to the Big Apple, and the quarrelsome couple made a brief yet disastrous appearance at the Charlotte Ronson afterparty at Country Club on Sept. 6. “She was just in a miserable mood, and there was obvious tension,” an eyewitness tells Star. “I didn’t see her talk to Joel the entire night, and it seemed like he was avoiding her too. Nicole was just so angry!”

Whatever. It’s Nicole Richie and Joel Madden. I’d be more upset if a pair of my socks got separated.

Nicole after the Marc Jacobs fashion show on September 9th:

Photos: Splash

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Mary-Kate Olsen and Nicole Richie Party Hard

We’re not sure whose house this is or what the hell is going on, but here’s Mary-Kate Olsen, Joel Madden, Nicole Richie, and other random fugliness at some lame house/birthday/flannel/whatever party. Whatever it is, it looks pretty hot, because nothing says hardcore like a pinata. Maybe next time they can get a bouncy house or hire a clown to make balloon animals. Ooh, ooh, or balloon hats! I love those!

Photo credit: ONTD

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Nicole Richie Hates Lindsay Lohan

The closest things to friends that Nicole Richie has are Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, so it goes without saying that she deserves every bad thing that happens to her. Namely, one of them trying to bang her fiance. Star Magazine reports:

The trouble started for the new mom after she decided to stay home with their 4-month-old daughter, Harlow, while Joel deejayed at Hornitos’ Cinco de Mayo party at Crown Bar in L.A. However, while there, the Good Charlotte rocker seemed more interested in a seductive Lindsay than in spinning records. “Their heads were practically touching, and he had his leg over hers,” says one onlooker. “Joel has a flirtatious side, and he definitely wasn’t turning her away.” Nicole was immediately alerted to the situation by her arch-frenemy Paris Hilton, who sent her a devastating text message: Lindsay was all over Joel! He was so zeroed in on Lindsay, he never heard his cell ring,” a friend of the couple tells Star. “Nicole felt so incredibly helpless and upset that she threw her phone against the wall in a rage.”

Not to get lost in the fact that Lindsay Lohan attacks like a werewolf whenever she’s within three feet of boxer shorts, is that this was over Joel Madden. To reiterate, Joel Madden. If Good Charlotte wasn’t popular like five years ago, this dude couldn’t get laid with duct tape and a secluded spot.

Lindsay and her boyfriend, Samantha Ronson, in Paris a few days ago:

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Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are Great Parents

Hey, you remember last month when Nicole Richie had a baby? Yeah, maybe somebody should probably remind her about that. says:

During the Grammys weekend, the couple went to several parties each night for hours. Last weekend, Richie and Madden once again left their tot at home to spend some quality time with Joel’s brother Benji and Lindsay Lohan at Teddy’s in the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. They didn’t rush home until the end of the evening – “It’s almost as if they aren’t parents,” said a spy.”

I don’t know what the big deal is. According to Disney movies, when kids get abandoned by their parents they get adopted by a Pharoah’s daughter or raised by gorillas. Maybe I haven’t caught up with the latest in parenting techniques, but that seems pretty exciting to me.

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Nicole Richie Will Learn Her Lesson

Nicole Richie, who was convicted of her second DUI last week and sentenced to four days in jail, has requested that she serve her time at the same place Paris did, Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood. On December 11, 2006, Nicole Richie was arrested after police pulled her over for going the wrong way down an exit ramp on the 134 Freeway in Burbank while she was high on marijuana and Vicodin. The Sun says:

A spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department said: “Nicole’s attorney contacted us and indicated she wants to do her time there.” Which jail Nicole, who is four months pregnant, will actually go to is still up in there. The spokesman added: “That’s all determined by our medical staff upon her arrival.”

Man, it must be great to live in L.A., not having to worry about such things as “punishment.” Murder your wife and her friend? Hey man, no worries. Leave coke in your car and flee the scene of an accident? Homey, chill. Get fucked up and drive the wrong way down an exit ramp? Relax, dude. We got you covered. You got a second DUI, so you’ve sorta tied our hands here, but how does four days sound? Great. Just let us know where you want to stay, because after all, you’re a such big star you know.

Nicole and Joel in L.A. yesterday:

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Nicole Richie Confirms She’s Pregnant

Soon to be jailed for DUI, Nicole Richie, used the softly lit, flatteringly filtered lenses at Good Morning America and 20/20 to finally admit the obvious. ABC News reports:

In an exclusive television interview with ABC News’ Diane Sawyer, Nicole Richie confirms for the first time she is pregnant with Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden’s baby.

“Yes, I am. We are. I’m almost four months,” Richie told Sawyer.”

Wow. How embarrassing it would be to go all the way to Diane Sawyer to admit you got impregnated by one of the dorks from Good Charlotte. That’s almost as embarrassing as going all the way to Diane Sawyer to admit you had sex with Nicole Richie.

Nicole Richie on her way to finding out she’ll be pregnant in jail:

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Nicole Richie is Pregnant

Nicole Richie’s rep won’t comment, but TMZ was able to confirm today that Nicole Richie is pregnant.

The starlet has been dating Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden for over six months. Rumors have been swirling for months that Richie and Madden were expecting, but TMZ has confirmed through several sources that she is, in fact, with child. In Touch magazine is also reporting that the couple will wed this summer. Richie is currently facing DUI charges stemming from her arrest last December, when she was found driving the wrong way on a California highway.

Richie’s trial is set for July 11. If convicted, she faces a minimum of five days in jail.”

Good God, I hope this kid doesn’t end up looking like either of these trolls. Nicole Richie always looks like she just smelled a fart, and Joel Madden always looks like he needs to fart. Together, they’re just disgusting. Chances of this baby having scales and a spiked tail: 200%.

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