Joan Rivers Died From A Lot Of Big Words
Joan Rivers Died From A Lot Of Big Words

 

Hey, remember when Joan Rivers died? People were sad. Kids who get words from autopsy results at a Spelling Bee will also be sad because wtf.

“OCME [Office of the Chief Medical Examiner] has completed its investigation,” reads the statement from spokeswoman Julie Bolcer. “The cause of Ms. Rivers’ death is anoxic encephalopathy due to hypoxic arrest during laryngoscopy and upper gastrointestinal endoscopy with propofol sedation for evaluation of voice changes and gastroesophageal reflux disease. The manner of death is therapeutic complication. The classification of a death as a therapeutic complication means that the death resulted from a predictable complication of medical therapy.”

Long story short, her brain ran out of oxygen. WebMD says that’s bad. Since her heard was mostly Play-Doh and calk, the doctor performing the procedure was unprepared, so she died. But she was 81 so whatever. What? You wanna live forever, bitch?

 

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The Clinic Where Joan Rivers Died Is Getting Death Threats
The Clinic Where Joan Rivers Died Is Getting Death Threats

 

Being homosexual and an angry female comic is not a choice, calling in death threats because your icon dies is.

The clinic where Joan Rivers was undergoing a throat procedure last week is under fire, because fans are blaming the staff for her death … and are making it clear they’re out for blood. Sources connected to the Yorkville Endoscopy clinic in NYC tell us death threats have been coming in droves since Joan was rushed to the hospital last week. Some of the threats have included — “If Joan dies, so will you,” … and … “I hope you people die, you killed an icon.” We’re told the clinic has been shutting down early on some days to send employees home — and additional security’s been hired.

Jesus, people. Relax. Stop being so PC all the time. This clinic clearly doesn’t care who it kills or if you get offended. They’re brash and gritty and  trailblazers. They killed her as a joke, lighten up.

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Joan Rivers Died
Joan Rivers Died

 

Joan Rivers went into cardiac arrest after passing out or something while getting her 2,688 surgery last week, but she died today. Really wasn’t a big fan and she was kind of an evil bitch, but the great thing about Joan is that she would probably take that as a compliment. She was 81, lived her dream, then passed on leaving a legacy that won’t soon be forgotten. And in the end, I guess that’s what we all aspire to do. So, yeah. She’s dead now. That’s really the point of this post.

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Joan Rivers (1933 – 2014, 2014 – ?)
Joan Rivers (1933 – 2014, 2014 – ?)

 

So Joan Rivers was having surgery then stopped breathing and suffered cardiac arrest, so they rushed her to ICU were she was in critical condition. Although she’ll never be mentally stable, she’s currently in stable condition and resting comfortably in her sarcophagus regaining her strength for her continued battle against the Thundercats.

Joan Rivers remains in stable but critical condition after being hospitalized for complications from throat surgery, while more details about her health scare have been revealed. The 81-year-old comedienne and host of E!’s Fashion Police was rushed to a hospital in New York City on Thursday after she stopped breathing while undergoing a minor endoscopic procedure at a medical clinic, a source told E! News. Her daughter and frequent co-star, Melissa Rivers, 46, and Melissa’s son, Cooper, 13, have flown to the city to be by Joan’s side. “They were putting a scope down her throat to check her vocal cords,” the source said. “She stopped breathing.” “This was not major surgery,” the source said, adding that Joan was sedated while undergoing the operation and that it is unclear what medication was used. Police had said they responded to an emergency call about an 81-year-old woman and transported her to a nearby hospital in critical condition. As of Thursday afternoon, she remains in the ICU.

Whatever. I bet the outfit she’s wearing looks like shit. I really wouldn’t spend a lot of time thinking about this because, there’s pictures of Lara Bingle topless on the Internet right now.

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Joan Rivers Owned Chelsea Handler

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The banner pic is Chelsea Handler in case the headline caused any confusion – Todd

On Monday, unfunny “comedienne” Chelsea Handler appeared on Howard Stern and proceeded to talk shit about fellow E! personality Joan Rivers. Today, Joan Rivers appeared on Howard Stern and completely annihilated Handler so bad that Haiti set up a relief hotline. Radar Online reports:

Number one, the girl made it on her back fucking the president, we all know that, of the network. Number two, she’s fine, she’s ordinary. She’s not a genius,” Joan told Howard, referring to Chelsea’s past relationship with E! President Ted Harbert. “Whatever she is, she’s a drunk. I don’t wish her good luck, I don’t wish her bad luck,” Joan said. “I don’t think she’s particularly funny. But don’t you come after me, you whore.”

There’s really nothing else I need to add here except Joan Rivers couldn’t be more spot on if she was melanoma.

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