J.J. Abrams Is Co-Writing And Directing ‘Star Wars: Episode IX’, So There’s That
J.J. Abrams Is Co-Writing And Directing ‘Star Wars: Episode IX’, So There’s That



After Colin Trevorrow got kicked out of the room for being an obnoxious asshole, and Rian Johnson saying “nah”, J.J. Abrams is now back for Star Wars: Episode IX. Yay?
J.J. Abrams, who launched a new era of Star Wars with The Force Awakens in 2015, is returning to complete the sequel trilogy as writer and director of Star Wars: Episode IXAbrams will co-write the film with Chris TerrioStar Wars: Episode IX will be produced by Kathleen Kennedy, Michelle Rejwan, Abrams, Bad Robot, and Lucasfilm.
“With The Force Awakens, J.J. delivered everything we could have possibly hoped for, and I am so excited that he is coming back to close out this trilogy,” said Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy.
Chris Terrio’s biggest writing credits are Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice and Justice League, so looks like the Episode IX will be Phantom Menace levels of shit. At least we now know that Rey’s mom’s real name is Martha. Thanks, Disney!

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JJ Abrams Says Mark Hamill Is Gonna Win An Oscar For ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’
JJ Abrams Says Mark Hamill Is Gonna Win An Oscar For ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’

 

Guys, apparently Mark Hamill’s performance in Star Wars: The Last Jedi is so good JJ Abrams thinks he should win an Oscar.

“Star Wars” filmmaker J.J. Abrams doesn’t know who’s going to win the Academy Award for best actor on Sunday, but he predicts Mark Hamill will be in the running next year after “The Last Jedi” hits theaters. “I think we are all going to be very upset if he does not win an Oscar, and no one more upset than Mark,” he told us at the Oscar Wilde Awards in L.A., which supports the U.S. Ireland Alliance.

It’s unclear if Abrams is trolling Hamill with an ego lens flare or not, but I think the world would be a better place for a while if the dude who played Luke Skywalker takes home an Academy Award. Before we argue about this, please note that Gwyneth Paltrow and Three 6 Mafia have one. And that one dude who made a black and white, silent movie a few years ago. What the fuck was that about. Get outta here.

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The Guy Who Cast Super 8 Is A Child Molester

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“Cast a movie with a bunch of little boys? That makes me very happy.”

Oh, that’s comforting. Los Angeles Times reports:

A convicted child molester who spent recent years helping cast Hollywood movies under an alias was arrested Friday on suspicion of violating sex offender registry laws, a move his attorney decried as an injustice born out of nationwide outrage over pedophilia scandals. Los Angeles prosecutors charged Jason James Murphy, 35, with failure to file a name change and failure to file a change of address, felonies that together carry a maximum sentence of three years in state prison The charges against Murphy resulted from a three-week investigation that followed a Times report detailing his 1996 conviction in Washington state for kidnapping and molesting an 8-year-old and his recent work as a casting associate on films featuring children, including the summer sci-fi hit “Super 8” and the upcoming comedy “The Three Stooges.” Murphy served five years in prison for crimes against a boy whom he had met while working as a camp counselor. After being charged with molesting the child, Murphy abducted him from school and took him to New York, where he was later arrested. After his incarceration, he moved to Los Angeles and registered as a sex offender. There were no allegations of misconduct with children in his casting work, but those who worked with him were stunned when they learned of his criminal history. “To think that someone like this was among us is unthinkable,” said “Super 8” director J.J. Abrams.

Whew, at least Elle Fanning wasn’t in danger. She’s very pretty. I wonder…wait, no…that’s not what I meant. I meant to say she’ll be very attractive one day then I can…hold up. Let me start over. Elle Fanning is very beautiful and in 2019, I’ll be ablOH GODDAMMIT NEVERMIND.

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Six Minutes In Super 8


JJ Abrams’ much anticipated E.T meets Close Encounters meets The Goonies meets Stand By Me meets Abrams deep throating Spielberg’s cock Super 8 comes out in two days and here is a six-minute clip that hit online today. I still have no clue what this movie is about, but apparently in 1979 fat kids were really bossy and no black people were alive.

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