Jim Carrey’s Girlfriend Overdosed On Jim Carrey’s Pills

Two weeks ago, Jim Carrey’s girlfriend, Cathriona White, was found dead in her home from an apparent suicide. Later it was discovered that she was a Scientologist and, as you know, Scientologists don’t really when you get psychiatric help for psychiatric stuff. I guess that’s why Jim Carrey had his pills prescribed to him under an alias. Solid work.

We’re told Cathriona White had prescriptions for Ambien (sleep aid), Percocet (painkiller), and Propranolol (blood pressure/heart) next to the bed where she OD’d. All 3 meds were prescribed by the same doctor. Law enforcement tells us they’ve confirmed the prescription was written for Jim Carrey using an alias. Fact is, lots of celebs use aliases for prescriptions for privacy reasons. One source tells us a witness has said there’s reason to believe Cathriona may have taken the meds from Jim’s house, but that hasn’t been confirmed. We’re told authorities would like to interview Jim. Although authorities say White died of an overdose, they do not know which drugs killed her. Toxicology results should provide answers.

Have I mentioned before that organized religion is dumb? Because organized religion is dumb. Yes, Scientology is religion. I know you really don’t want to believe that. Does it believe that the universe was created by an space being who can’t be proven forcing you to disprove a negative? Yes. Do they have a book written by a man? Yes. Do they guilt people into paying to be members? Yes. Do the leaders attempt to insulate members through fear and punishment by telling them that everyone else is dumb and doesn’t know the “truth” ? Yes. Do they have a solid PR team? Yes. Do they have a castle? Yes. Is it non-profit but the boss has a private jet and a couple mansions? Yes. Do they kill lots of people? Yes. Thank you. This has been your organized religion lesson for the day. There’s coffee available in the lobby.

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Ariana Grande Is Already Coming For Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey‘s ex-girlfriend hasn’t even been dead a week at the hands of BIG PHARMA, but Ariana Grande was on Live with Kelly and Michael this morning, and well, you can’t trust anybody who hates America.


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Yeah, So Jim Carrey’s Girlfriend Killed Herself

Is Lena Dunham single? Let’s get this going.

Jim Carrey’s on-again/off-again 28-year-old girlfriend has committed suicide … TMZ has learned. Law enforcement tells TMZ, LAPD responded to a call in the L.A. area Monday night. We’re told they went to a residence and found the body of Cathriona White.  Our sources say White left a suicide note addressed to Carrey which references their break up on Sept. 24. Cathriona tweeted on the 24th … “Signing off Twitter, I hope I have been a light to my nearest and dearest.” Law enforcement tells us they believe she died from an overdose of drugs — pills were next to her body. We’re told 2 friends found Cathriona last night when they went to check on her. 53-year-old Carrey and White met in 2012, dated a few months and then split. They rekindled their relationship in May.

Damn. Jim Carrey has to be feeling like shit. Although he’d probably feel worse if she attached her vaccination records to her suicide note.

Her last tweet. Yikes.


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‘Dumb And Dumber To’ Has A Trailer

 

The trailer for Dumb And Dumber To premiered last night on Jimmy Fallon, and the trailer really could have been just two minutes of a baby on fire and every one of us would still go see it, because duh. I still quote the first one daily.

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Jim Carrey Refuses To Promote ‘Kick-Ass 2’ Because It’s Violent
Jim Carrey Refuses To Promote ‘Kick-Ass 2’ Because It’s Violent

 

One of the lighter scenes in the insanely awesome Kick-Ass is when a father shoots his pre-teen daughter in the chest the takes her for ice cream afterwards, so one can only assume the violence in Kick-Ass 2 would be exponentially crazier and, you know,  more. This information would have been readily available in the script. A scipt that Jim Carrey read and agreed to be involved with. A scipt that Jim Carrey read and agreed to be involved with then smiled when the millions of dollars hit his bank account. Man, that was great. But now, with the movie due out in August, Jim Carrey is refusing to promote it because….clutch your pearls……it's too violent. Yeah. MTV reports:

Summer movie season is well underway, but Jim Carrey has a few comments about his own entry into the blockbuster season. The Hollywood vet took to Twitter on Sunday say he "cannot support" "Kick-Ass 2," the latest adaptation of Mark Millar and John Romita Jr.'s comics. "I did Kickass a month b4 Sandy Hook and now in all good conscience I cannot support that level of violence," he wrote. "I meant to say my apologies to others involve with the film. I am not ashamed of it but recent events have caused a change in my heart."

Right. A change in his heart. Not a big enough change for him to donate his salary to the families of the Sandy Hook victims, because that would involve Jim Carrey pulling his head out of his ass. You can read Kick-Ass creator Mark Millar's response here, which basically could have just said "dafuq?". Mark Millar reweeted me once so I think we all know where my loyalties lie.

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Jim Carrey Is Upset, Possibly Crazy

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After dating for almost five years, Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy broke up in April. And even though she’s a lunatic whose medical advice causes children to die of measles, to reiterate, she’s Jenny McCarthy. It wasn’t going to take long before her needs would be filled horizontally by somebody else. And that somebody else is 35-year-old “Las Vegas hunk” Jason Toohey. Long story short, Jim carrey might kill himself.

pals fear the funnyman’s downward spiral may prompt a return of the condition that once forced him into treatment for mental health problems. “Jim isn’t himself these days – and he hasn’t been ever since he and Jenny split,” a close friend told The ENQUIRER. “But finding out she has already moved in with a guy has just sent him reeling.”…A devastated Jim has been acting strangely, say sources — and he has posted weird messages on Twitter recently. Not long after splitting with Jenny, he Tweeted the word “boing” 40 times. Then he attacked Tiger Woods’ wife in another post, claiming she must have known about her husband’s affairs. “That was the manic Jim acting out,” says the friend. “He isn’t happy.”

Obama doesn’t need to step in for factories to make more vagina, so I’m not really sure what his problem is right now. Snap out of it, dude. You’re Jim Carrey. You could turn over a casket then set it on fire, and still fuck every chick at a funeral.

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Jim Carrey Is A Scientologist

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The always fantastic Mark Ebner, the only real investigative journalist in Hollywood, has outed Jim Carrey for basically outing himself as a Scientologist.

In one ill-advised Twitter thread, former funny-man Jim Carrey explains his cosmic drift into cult-induced irrelevance. (note: Carrey’s anti-pharmaceutical ranting and use of the tell-tale Scientology catch-phrase, “suppressive types.”

You can see the screencaps of Carrey’s Twitter rant HERE, but be warned, Jim Carrey is out of his mind. Especially since Scientology would make more sense if it was based on what Dora The Explorer pulled out of her backpack.

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Jenny McCarthy Is Single



After dating for five years, Jim Carrey announced last night on Twitter that he and Jenny McCarthy have broken up.
Jenny and I have just ended our 5yr relationship. I’m grateful 4 the many blessings we’ve shared and I wish her the very best! S’okay! ?;^>

Although not naked, Jenny McCarthy also shared her thoughts on the breakup.

I’ m so grateful for the years Jim and I had together. I will stay committed to Jane and will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart.

It’s hard to imagine why these two broke up. One possibility is that Jim woke up and realized he was dating a chick who got famous for being naked and making fart jokes who now fights 100 years of medical science and autism research with voodoo and card tricks or whatever the hell she does. I’ve had bigger tits in my mouth before, so I’d be comfortable in laying a crayon trail for her son to a doctor in his network.

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Screw You, Jim Carrey



Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy are in Hawaii right now, and I think I speak for everyone when I say Jenny McCarthy looks absolutely fantastic. I don’t want to brag, but so do my new batch of lemon cookies! What can I say? Jim Carrey and I are just living the dream!

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Jenny McCarthy is in a Bikini



Jenny McCarthy is famous for being naked, so these pictures of her in Malibu aren’t as hot as they should be. But since she’s been so hot for so long that it really doesn’t even matter. Just like back in 1995, the forecast still calls for me to have sex with her at my parents’ wake if given the chance. I think I can speak for everyone when I say, “Fuck you, Jim Carrey.”

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