Happy Easter, Guys
Happy Easter, Guys

 

I didn't realize Easter started today until like four hours ago, so Happy Easter. I hope you commemorate the death of a man who fought against the religious dogma of his time, while healing and feeding the sick and poor for free, with giant chocolate rabbits. I don't know, Cadbury says it has something to with Easter and corporations don't lie about things like that. Also, I didn't include a picture of Jesus in this post, because nobody really knows what he looked like. He was a Jew with a beard. I bet the Romans were glad they had such a detailed description to go off of while looking for him at night. ("And the Roman soldier said unto his friend, 'Fuuuuck.'" – Matthew 10:12) I did, however, include a picture of Ashley Sky, because I feel like Jesus would've hit that. He might come walking across this picture any minute now. Haha, cool ass trick, Jesus! Never gets old, bruh. Never gets old. Are those new shoes? Sweet.

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Happy Easter Everybody!

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I know it’s technically Good Friday, but whatever. While you’re celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus by waiting for a giant bunny rabbit to bring you chocolate eggs, or if you’re celebrating that time God sent angels to slaughter every one of Egypt’s firstborn, but your family got the hookup with the lamb’s blood, I hope you’re doing it safe except really, really drunk. And when you feel like a cat hasn’t just shit your mouth, try do the right thing once in your fucking life and donate some money to a worthy charity. I know it may be hard to do because you might have to start selling meth soon to pay for your medical insurance premiums, but it will make you feel better. But don’t donate to Haiti, though. What, do they want us to do everything for them, is that it? Cavemen had earthquakes and dinosaurs and they didn’t have a telethon. God, Haitians! It’s always take, take, take with you people!

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Links Jesus Would Click If He Wasn’t Strung Up Again On Florida Vanity Plates

Florida has approved the above license plate, which means Jesus and your I HRT VAG vanity plate can finally become one. [BWE]

It only took, what, 3 days for someone to ask Paris Hilton about the Swine Flu? [FatBackMedia]

Former Spice Girl Mel B has a rockin’ bikini bod. Too bad if I want to be her lover, I gotta get with her friends, because her friends are idiots and ugly. Or crazy like Eddie Murphy. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

French actress Christine Boisson had to know that dress was see-through. Damn French. Site NSFW [TaxiDriverMovie]

They almost arrested Lady GaGa in Russia for not wearing pants. Damn Communists and thier skorts. F*ck off. [ImNotObsessed]

LC leaving the Spiedi Wedding now makes more sense, The Hills is (more…)

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