Jessica Lowndes Had A Nice Weekend In A Bikini
Jessica Lowndes Had A Nice Weekend In A Bikini

Jessica Lowndes spent all weekend in Newport Beach where she put on a bikini and drank wine and did other activities. Nobody else is pictured because I assume they all died when their boners exploded.

Jessica Lowndes Instagram

Jessica Lowndes Instagram

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Good Grief, Jessica Lowndes
Good Grief, Jessica Lowndes

I didn’t want to leave you with Kathy Griffin all weekend, because despite what the liberal media tells you, I love you and your pageviews and impressions that translate into ad money. I love you long time. So here’s Jessica Lowndes‘ perfect body in a bikini. So I want you to take a long look at Jessica’s ass here, and know that I did this for you. I did it for us.

Jessica Lowndes Bikini

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Jessica Lowndes Says Good Morning, Links

Kate Hudson‘s body is ridiculous  (NSFW)  Taxi Driver Movie

Tom Hanks is slumming   Dlisted

Chris Brown‘s baby mama was married when he knocked her up    The Superficial

Kennedy Summers could get it   Hollywood Tuna

Selena Gomez in a sportsbra  Drunken Stepfather

Nadine Leopold in a bikini. Yes, please.   Popoholic

The sexiest social media pics of the week.   Celebslam

Chris Pratt and Chris Evans make good on their Super Bowl bet SuperHeroHype

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Here’s Gigi Hadid‘s nipples  (NSFW)  Taxi Driver Movie

Jesus Leto cut his hair for Suicide Squad   Dlisted

Justin Bieber is banging this   The Superficial

Simone Villas has a booty you should know   Hollywood Tuna

Lindsay Hancock is the future  Drunken Stepfather

Gwen Stefani in tight leather pants   Popoholic

Sofia Vergara in tight jeans. Yes, pls   Celebslam

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Jessica Lowndes Is More Important

I was going to write a think piece about Chris Brown‘s possible baby mama naming their alleged daughter, “Royalty Brown“, but then I was scrolling through Instagram and remembered that I follow Jessica Lowndes. Then I thought about what we’d name our baby. It really doesn’t have to be a baby. I’d put my name on the birth certificate.

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Jessica Lowndes’ Single Must Not Be Selling That Well
Jessica Lowndes’ Single Must Not Be Selling That Well

When you tell a chick they’re pretty for a long time then they start believing they can do other stuff, so Jessica Lowndes released a song about month ago called “Silicone In Stereo” and since she looks like this (and this) in a bikini, nobody really had the heart to tell her not to release it. So it got released. I don’t have the sales number in front of me, but I assume it could only have reached double digits if it played against the Chicago Bears. Nice defense, guys. Maybe Michael Jordan can loan ya’ll some money so you can train some actual bears to play pass defense. Bears are tall. Anyway, Jessica Lowndes showed like half her boob on Instagram. That’s pretty cool.

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Jessica Lowndes Made A Music Video
Jessica Lowndes Made A Music Video

Let me preface this by saying Jessica Lowndes is super hot. And that’s pretty much all I know. I know she was on a TV once of something, she might have been in some movies I think. But when you tell a girl she’s beautiful all the time, sometimes she thinks she can do other things. Like right a song called “Silicone In Stereo” that sounds like a Katy Perry B-side. She also made a video. So if you want to watch it with the sound turned down and listen to an actual song instead, I would suggest doing that.

pic source = Instagram

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Jessica Lowndes Went To Some Thing

Apparently there is a movie called The Prince, and it had it’s premiere last night or something. And Jessica Lowndes was there wearing this dress. If you’re wondering why I’m posting these, it’s because Jessica Lowndes looks like this when she’s not in a dress. Basically, if she wears anything I’m posting it. That’s the point I’m trying to get across here.

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Thanks, Jessica Lowndes
Thanks, Jessica Lowndes

Long story short, Jessica Lowndes is perfect. So, I’m happy to announce that, now she’s mastered this yoga handstand, I can pee then have morning sex with her without having to change my stance.

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Jessica Lowndes Should Live In A Bikini
Jessica Lowndes Should Live In A Bikini

Since I don’t have access to these (GOOD LAWD), here’s a picture of Jessica Lowndes‘ flawless body in a bikini. I know, I know real women “have curves”. I think you’re confusing that with your Curves membership, fatty. Love ya though!

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Jessica Lowndes Understands Instagram
Jessica Lowndes Understands Instagram

SPOILER: This isn’t a Comic Con post. This is a post about Jessica Lowndes and her perfect ass. The rest of her is pretty much perfect, too. That’s also a nice deck fence. Quality craftsmanship. I probably couldn’t break it if I bent her over.

Jessica Lowndes Instagram

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