Jessica Chastain Did TIFF
Jessica Chastain Did TIFF

 

My power has been flickering on and off all morning and the rain feels like somebody slapping me, but I still managed to load these pics of Jessica Chastain at the Toronto International Film Festival. Because “Jessica Chastain’s rack on red carpets” is a subgenre that I enjoy. I also want her to play Beverly Marsh in the IT sequel. I have an IT post coming up so this is why I mention that. In the meantime, here’s pics of Jessica Chastain’s hot ass.

 

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Jessica Chastain Got Married
Jessica Chastain Got Married

 

Jessica Chastain married a rich Italian dude. The dream is dead.

Jessica Chastain has tied the knot! The actress, 40, married her Italian boyfriend Gian Luca Passi de Preposulo, 34, in his home country after five years of dating. The wedding took place in the northern Italian city of Treviso at the Passi de Preposulo family estate Villa Tiepolo Passi, which is less than an hour north of Venice.

Jessica Chastain is what the kids call “woke” and stuff, so it’s ok that she married an aristocrat and 1%-er, because he’s foreign and his name includes a lot of vowels. He makes more money than she does, so I’m not sure how long this is gonna work out. Hopefully not long, because she’s 40, and I need to get in there before it’s too late.

 

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Jessica Chastain Did Cannes & Links
Jessica Chastain Did Cannes & Links

 

A drunk Jennifer Lawrence worked a stripper pole  [  Dlisted  ]

Bella Thorne wants you to see her nipple piercing  (NSFW)  [  Taxi Driver Movie  ]

Anna Kendrick in a bikini  [  DrunkenStepfather   ]

Good lawd, Alexandra Daddario  [  Popoholic  ]

A moment with Camila Marrone   [  Hollywood Tuna  ]

Settle down, Kate Upton  (NSFW site)  [  The Nip Slip   ]

Bella Hadid did Cannes  [  Moe Jackson   ]

Jared Kushner is having white people problems  [  Cele|bitchy   ]

Celebrities react to Chris Cornell‘s death   [  The Blemish  ]

#tbt Jessica Chastain at Cannes in 2o16  [  IDLY  ]

 

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This Is A Jessica Chastain Red Carpet Post
This Is A Jessica Chastain Red Carpet Post

 

As you know, I’ll post any “Jessica Chastain showed up on a red carpet” pics regardless of event and so I ca here everyone in the comments make red carpet jokes. Because she has red hair LOL I see what you did there. Good stuff, good stuff.  Today, it’s for AMC’s The Son. The description sounds like Dallas set in the Old West.  Cool. The point of this post is Jessica Chastain and her boobs. Let’s not get sidetracked.

 

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Jessica Chastain Is Back To Red Carpet Jessica Chastain

Naming a movie The Zookeeper’s Wife is probably the best way to ensure it doesn’t make any money, but Jessica Chastain is in it, and that means “Jessica Chastain on the red carpet” which is my favorite subgenre to post on here. Like this. And this. And this. She’s also an atheist which is weird, because I feel if there was a God, he’d like to take credit for those titties.

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Jessica Chastain Has Failed Us
Jessica Chastain Has Failed Us

 

It guess it was only a matter for time before 2016 killed something else I love, and that thing is Jessica Chastain on a red carpet (not euphemism).  Like, click on that one link. Then click this one. Then this one. The look at the tragedy she wore to the Toronto premiere of Miss Sloane. This is worse than what happened Gatlinburg and the picture of that Syrian kid that was going around on Facebook. Damn, clean that kid up, don’t just stand there and take his picture. Give him some chicken McNuggets or something.

 

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Jessica Chastain At The ‘Miss Sloane’ Premiere
Jessica Chastain At The ‘Miss Sloane’ Premiere

 

There should be a Jessica Chastain Red Carpet Tumblr page by now, because when Jessica Chastain does a red carpet, she does the damn red carpet. She’s also redhead so please don’t take my idea for that page the wrong way, austism spectrum millennials.

 

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Hold Still, Jessica Chastain

Jessica Chastain was the person honored(?) at the Hand And Footprint Ceremony  at the TCL Chinese Theatre yesterday, and apparently it’s a big deal to get your hands and feet in cement. The reasons remain unclear. I think because they saw these pics. I also feel my headline might be called sexist by some. I apologize for all those who I may have offended who plan on starting a petition.

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Jessica Chastain Did Cannes
Jessica Chastain Did Cannes


We can still talk about the Woody Allen stuff until something else gets us mad, but try not to let the fact that Jessica Chastain is also at Cannes get lost in the discussion. Because this what her hot ass looks like when she’s on a red carpet. If she sees a red carpet, she’s on it. Then she finds another one making your dress wish it was on her. Goddamn, why hasn’t Warner Bros. announced a Jessica Chastain Walking Down Red Carpets franchise yet? The fuck, man?


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Jessica Chastain Did The 2016 MTV Movie Awards In This Dress
Jessica Chastain Did The 2016 MTV Movie Awards In This Dress


Jessica Chastain is in that new Snow White Lord Of The Rings Game Of Thrones movie with Charlize Theron and Thor, so they went to promote it at the 2016 MTV Movie Awards or whatever. I feel it’s noteworthy to mention that she wore the fuck out of this dress. You find this noteworthy as well? Great! Excited to hear it! Glad we’re on the same page.


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