Jessa Duggar Had Her Kid
Jessa Duggar Had Her Kid


Jessa Duggar had her kid last night, which means she has to wait until the stitches come out before Jesus will love her again. Let’s all wish a speedy recovery to her vagina and archaic sense of self-worth.

The 22-year-old former 19 Kids and Counting star and husband Ben Seewald, 20, have welcomed their first child, a baby boy, TLC confirmed to E! News

They haven’t said what the kid’s name yet, because they’re probably building a website where you pay to suggest your name of choice since 600+ advertisers have already done the sinful thing and pulled out of Jill & Jessa: Counting On. It’ll probably be Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Peter, Paul, Noah, or that time in the Bible where God sent bears to maul 42 kids to death because they called Elisha bald. Or that time God made Jephthah burn his own virgin daughter alive for helping him out in a war.  Ok, those last one weren’t names, but God seems like a pretty chill and reasonable guy, no? God bless.


Here’s Rosie Jones because I think she should play Jess Duggar in the porn version and because I want this post to make you commit adultery in your heart.


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Jessa Duggar Is A Duggar Costume
 

A photo posted by Jessa Seewald (@jessaseewald) on


I really don’t know anything about Jessa Duggar‘s husband, but I can understand where he’d be down with a religion that says he can try to get Jessa pregnant at any time because that’s why she thinks she’s alive. I would have tried here if it was me, but it’s probably not really hard to nod convincingly during a story about a talking snake when they’re giving you the hot one. Also, I think a good costume idea for the Duggar chicks is to dress up like somebody who isn’t pregnant.

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Jessa Duggar Is Giving Birth Live On TLC
Jessa Duggar Is Giving Birth Live On TLC


Since Jessa Duggar has the only job that fundamentalist Christianity allows her to have,  and her husband, Ben Seewald, just got a political science “degree” from a community college, the manna from heaven isn’t really raining into bank their account like it should. Not much money to get a good seed going. Thankfully, Jessa Duggar believes in Jesus. And we all know that when one vagina closes and ruins your family’s thirst for attention and TLC checks, Jesus allows another one to open so you can monetize your miracle. God bless.


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Jessa Duggar Went To The Holocaust Museum, Compared It To Abortion
Jessa Duggar Went To The Holocaust Museum, Compared It To Abortion

 

Jessa Duggar, one of the 19 kids that has flown out of Captain America Jesus’ clone army facility located in Michelle Duggar’s uterus, visited the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC last week and took the time to equate the slaughter of 11 million people to abortion. Surprisingly, she glossed over the fact that the museum exists because a dude thought he was doing God’s will. Shocking, I know.

I walked through the Holocaust Museum again today… very sobering. Millions of innocents denied the most basic and fundamental of all rights–their right to life. One human destroying the life of another deemed “less than human.” Racism, stemming from the evolutionary idea that man came from something less than human; that some people groups are “more evolved” and others “less evolved.” A denying that our Creator–GOD–made us human from the beginning, all of ONE BLOOD and ONE RACE, descendants of Adam. The belief that some human beings are “not fit to live.” So they’re murdered. Slaughtered. Kids with Down syndrome or other disabilities. The sickly. The elderly. The sanctity of human life varies not in sickness or health, poverty or wealth, elderly or pre-born, little or lots of melanin [making you darker or lighter skinned], or any other factor. “If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small. If thou forbear to deliver them that are drawn unto death, and those that are ready to be slain; If thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not; doth not He that pondereth the heart consider it? and He that keepeth thy soul, doth not He know it? and shall not He render to every man according to his works?” (Proverbs 24:10-12) May we never sit idly by and allow such an atrocity to happen again. Not this generation. We must be a voice for those who cannot speak up for themselves. Because EVERY LIFE IS PRECIOUS. #ProLife

At some point, the Duggar family will replace all the 11 million people that were killed, but until then, I guess they can just keep on being stupid. But you really have to understand, she was raised in a house where a woman’s worth was based on the number of babies she could spit out, so she got married and pregnant as soon as possible, because that what she truly believes makes her a woman. Her dad is named Jin Bob and she’s 21, but she claims to know how the universe was made and the will of the dude that supposedly created it. You really can’t talk logic or reason with people like that. Just nod and back away slowly. Then go donate some money to Planned Parenthood. Or maybe get a Kickstarter to get the Duggar family on birth control.

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