Snooki Is At Risk

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Snooki and J-Woww are under strict rules from Jersey City officials for their spin off. TMZ reports:

Snooki and Jwoww will be on some seriously thin ice when they begin shooting their new reality show in Jersey City … because the cops will be assigned to watch their asses AT ALL TIMES. TMZ has learned … officials in Jersey City refused to a grant a permit to shoot the show UNLESS they agreed to some seriously strict rules. 1) The show must allow at least four Jersey City PD officers to be stationed at Jwoww and Snooki’s home at all times. 2) The cops will stay with the cast and crew when they leave the home. Cops have agreed to keep an appropriate distance from the operation, so they don’t get in the way of production. 3) If MORE cops are called in to handle an incident due to events related to the show, producers MUST reimburse Jersey City for all related costs. Officials have also made it clear … cops are taking the situation very seriously and will take action … even on the cast … if any state or city laws are broken. Ultimately, producers agreed … and got the permit. Production is scheduled to begin later this month.

The only protection appropriate for any castmember of this show should involve a Flux Capacitor, prophylactics, and their parents. I don’t understand why they’re doing another show in the first place. The only way a Jersey Shore spinoff would be worth watching is if it were filmed in Camden.

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Snooki’s Suing

She doesn’t think she got enough money for putting her name on things. Like lingerie. No, really. The New York Post reports:

A High-profile licensing deal inked by Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi to put the guidette’s name on everything from denim and lingerie to home goods has wound up in court. Polizzi filed a complaint last month in Ulster County, NY — the “Jersey Shore” star’s legal residence — to end her partnership with SRG Ventures after the deal grabbed headlines earlier this year. SRG has worked with brands including the US Olympic Committee’s Team USA, Hohm and the Marilyn Monroe brand. But now Snooki is looking to get out of the pact, Page Six has learned, claiming it wasn’t as lucrative as agreed upon. Meanwhile, SRG filed a motion yesterday to move the case to New York City in preparation for a counter-suit. Snooki’s lawyers allege in court papers that SRG “failed to secure” royalty guarantees of at least $250,000 and a license from a major retailer for another $250,000, as the contract called for. It also says the SRG didn’t bring in “five licenses approved by [Polizzi].” But SRG says it has a “preponderance of evidence” that it did achieve those “performance benchmarks,” and says the gnomish reality star is herself in breach of contract.

(more…)

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Beavis & Butthead Took A 14 Year Break

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“Grandma J-Woww, where did you get syphilis?”

There hasn’t been a new episode of the original Tosh.0, The SoupBeavis & Butthead on MTV since 1997, but that all changed last night. And of course, they completed shredded Jersey Shore. Jesus should comeback like this.

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Deena Cortese Is Okay With Plastic Surgery

Apparently what you see here is already an improvement. From The Huffington Post:

When the latest season of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” premiered earlier this month, the Internet was buzzing about cast member Jenni “JWoWW” Farley’s tight and slender new look. Show star Deena Nicole Cortese says she doesn’t know whether or not her co-star has had any additional work done, and that she supports the decision to have plastic surgery. “If she did, more power to you,” she told the New York Post. “I had actually had a nose job.”

If she’s all for it, she should go get a bit more work done. Preferably by Dr. Jan Adams.

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This Isn’t Fair

Snooki’s boyfriend wants to get married. And breed. The New York Post reports:

Snooki’s equally pint-sized boyfriend, Jionni LaValle, told us he’s looking forward to a marriage with the “Jersey Shore” star. “She’s a good girl,” he told us at the YRB magazine cover party for the “Jersey Shore” girls at District 36, where the two celebrated their 10-month anniversary of dating. When asked if marriage was in the future, he said, “Hopefully.” If the two decide to have babies, LaValle said he wouldn’t allow them on a reality TV show but added, “She probably would.”

Man, fuck this. Aside from infecting the gene pool and basic cable, do you have any idea how much an advantage their kids are going to have in the zombie apocalypse? They’re going to (more…)

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Ooh La La



Because the water in New Jersey needs more contamination, Jersey Shore‘s Deena Cortese got in a bikini and went swimming this weekend. Look, I’m not going to tell you how long it took for me to edit these pics between rocking back and forth in the corner and pouring hydrogen peroxide in my eyes, but I would rather cut my own dick off and feed give it to a dog than get my dick anywhere near whatever the hell this is. And if the dog picked up my dick and looked like he might walk in her direction, I’d shoot the dog in the head and kick it then run away really fast.

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This Is Single

Are you turned on yet? It’s okay, we’ll wait. From Us Weekly:

After nearly eight months together, Jersey Shore’s Snooki and beau Jionni LaValle have parted ways, a source confirms to Us Weekly.

“They broke up,” the insider says. LaValle, 23, recently visited Snooki, 22 (real name: Nicole Polizzi) in Italy, where she and her Jersey Shore cast are currently shooting season 4 of their MTV smash. But the dolce vita holiday didn’t work out. “[He] came home early,” the insider says.

The duo first stepped out together at NYC’s Butter in September of last year– and got serious in October, with LaValle “bonding” ‘with the reality star’s dad. “She wasn’t sure about him at first and kept asking her friends what they thought of him,” another pal told Us at the time. “She was hesitant because he isn’t the typical gorilla.”

Adds the first source: “She was planning on buying a house … down the street from his parents.”

(more…)

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The Situation’s Dad Is Really Tough

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Based on movies about the mafia I’ve seen, nothing comes before family. And if you cross the family, the godfather will post a series of YouTube vidoes with scary music and a fern in the background.

Long story short, Frank Sorrentino is promoting his tell-all book about his asshole son, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, in which he goes on to explain that his son is an asshole. Check the vids below. They don’t contain an IROC with an airbrushed hood or any references to sauces, but they do contain NSFW language pulled from flashcards included in The Soprano’s box set.

Video source = theconfrontationsite.com

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This Is Worth $5 Million

And rising–the cast of Jersey Shore just got raises. Entertainment Weekly reports:

The cast is being paid a massive amount of money to get drunk and screw around in Italy. For the Shore stars, there is no downside.

As has been reported, the eight-member cast has just finished their salary negotiations. Multiple sources close to the matter tell EW the deal has members of the “core group” now pulling down at least $100,000 per episode, especially once you factor in their bonus structure. Each season is usually 13 episodes. (MTV had no comment.)

That’s a quantum leap for a group that once made headlines by haggling a raise to $10k per episode for season 2. And, of course, the per-episode salary from MTV is only part of the group’s income, with appearances and product endorsements tacking on additional large sums. (One tally puts The Situation’s annual income at $5 million.)

Regardless of what you might think of Snooki, Sitch and Co., they’re not pulling a robbery — on the balance sheet, they’re worth the money. Jersey Shore is like the American Idol of basic cable, delivering huge adult demo numbers that are higher than many, if not most, broadcast shows.

It’s been widely documented that these trolls are overpaid and retarded, so I won’t even begin to address how fucked up this is. Except to remind you that God is, in fact, dead.

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